Summer of Love (18 page)

And as for Alex himself… ‘He’s been great. We’ve been wedding buddies, the last few weeks,’ he’d heard Lily say. Which was only the truth, after all. But the tiny, secret smile she’d shot his way when she said it certainly hinted at more.

Only question was, who was the show for? Was this all to convince her friends that she was fine, that she didn’t need Edward, that she’d moved on? Or was it really to let Alex know she had plans for him later?

Alex dismissed that thought before he could examine it too closely. Whatever her schemes, he just needed to keep his mind on the plan. Be a good friend to Lily. Help her. Do not seduce her. Really, how hard could that be?

Jack came to stand beside him, his feet bare and damp under his kilt. The groom and his brothers had all been having photos taken at the shoreline, water lapping up to their knees. Alex had filed the idea away for future reference. It was interesting, watching another photographer work. Not to mention a great distraction from wondering what was going on with Lily.

‘Lily seems in a good mood today,’ Jack said, giving Alex a sideways look. ‘Your doing?’

Alex held his hands up. ‘Nothing to do with me, I’m afraid. I’m just the wedding buddy.’

Jack didn’t look entirely convinced. ‘Tessa said she’d cleared her stuff from Edward’s cottage this week. Maybe that’s it.’

Had she? Why hadn’t Alex known that? Because she hadn’t stopped by all week, of course. He’d thought she’d been avoiding him. But then, today, she seemed closer than ever. ‘That’s good. A proper break.’

‘Yeah. Apparently he thought she was going back to him. Expected her to show up on the doorstep to beg him for another chance, any moment.’ Jack shook his head. ‘I thought she would too, at the start. But now… She’s better off without him. Happier, I think.’

‘I think she is,’ Alex agreed, but his mind was working overtime. Was that it? Was she trying to prove to Edward, and to everyone else, that she’d moved on? And was he part of that plan?

Jack clapped him on the shoulder. ‘It’s really good to see her happy,’ he said, words heavy with meaning. But was it a warning not to ruin that happiness by getting involved, or to stick around and make her happier? Because either way, Alex wasn’t sure at all that it was what Lily wanted. Never mind what he himself wanted.

All too, too confusing. He needed a drink.

‘We’re just about done with the photos,’ Jack said. ‘Help me round up the rabble and get them to the restaurant?’

Alex nodded, happy to have something to do. Something that wasn’t wondering what on earth Lily was up to.

* * * *

Lily bounced through the door to StarFish, grinning when she saw Charlie Frost welcoming Tessa and Jack to the restaurant. He raised a hand and waved when he spotted her.

‘Friend of yours?’ Alex asked from behind her, close enough that she could feel the warmth of him, after the chilly summer wind on the beach.

‘He commissioned an engagement ring recently,’ she explained, glancing around to see if she could spot the famous Mia from Charlie’s description. No one there looked quite right, though.

Charlie had pushed together a number of tables to make a great, long one for everyone to sit around. Even so, it was a bit of a squeeze, and Lily found herself pressed close against Alex’s thigh. She smiled up at him and tried not to laugh at the desperate look in his eyes.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

From Cora’s stories, she knew Alex’s reputation, knew he was used to smiling and having women fall at his feet. It wouldn’t take much, she reckoned, to make him loosen up his rules about his new life. He just needed the right sort of persuasion.

It was strange, watching Alex interact with everyone from the Mill. Tessa and Jack’s families were all up at the top end of the table, leaving the friends to be rowdy at the other end. Alex made easy conversation with them all, charming them effortlessly, as usual. But what surprised Lily most was how much he knew about each of them. He conversed knowledgeably about their businesses, which she’d expect since he’d been photographing their stock and looking at their accounts for a few weeks now, but also about their families, their personal lives. She hadn’t realized how much a part of the place he’d become.

How much a part of her life he’d become.

Sinking back into her chair, Lily toyed with her dessert spoon, wondering exactly how she’d let that happen. And realizing, for the first time that day, how stupid her plan was. Yes, it had been fun to flirt and tease Alex all day. Fun to wear clothes than reminded her of her wilder former self. Fun to imagine she could be that Lily again.

But she wasn’t. She’d grown up, and grown better. She didn’t want to tempt Alex into kissing her just so she knew what it felt like. He wasn’t just Cora’s cousin any more. He was part of the Mill, had made friends there, and she didn’t want to ruin that for him by indulging her fantasies.

Except… The way he’d looked at her on the terrace of the Avalon Inn the week before meant she knew he wanted her too. Wanted to see what this was as much as she did. Even though it couldn’t be what either of them were looking for in their future. But maybe there was a grownup answer to the problem. A way to get it out of their systems.

She hoped so. Otherwise she thought she might go crazy.

Alex leant back in his chair, his thigh pressing against the length of hers, and she couldn’t hide the sharp breath she took in.

‘You okay?’ he asked, and she nodded.

‘The food was great, wasn’t it?’ Dinner. That was a safe subject, surely.

‘Delicious.’ His gaze hovered around her collarbones, high enough for her not to feel objectified, but low enough that she wondered what his mouth would feel like, kissing down her throat.

With dinner over, people had started to drift away from the table, making use of the small area Charlie had cleared for dancing, or settling in smaller groups at round tables around the edges of the restaurant. But Lily couldn’t move. Couldn’t shift away from Alex, even though there was no longer a need to sit so close. Couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather be talking to. Couldn’t remember why she shouldn’t lean forward and kiss him.

She broke away, turning to watch the dancing for a moment while she recovered her composure. How had this gone so wrong?

‘Did you want to dance?’ Alex asked, stretching an arm around the back of her chair to give himself a better view of the dance floor. Lily tried not to shiver as his shirtsleeve brushed against the bare skin of her shoulders, exposed by the cut of the camisole. Why had she taken her cardigan off?

‘No. Thanks.’ She gave him a brief smile. ‘Anyway, I don’t think dancing was in the wedding buddies remit.’ Although maybe it should have been. Just the thought of his arms wrapped around her, as they had been at the Avalon, holding her close and tight… Lily swallowed. Maybe it was time to stop with the wine.

‘Wedding buddies,’ Alex echoed. ‘Tell me, is that what we’re still doing here?’

Lily’s insides tensed. ‘Of course. What else would we be doing?’ Apparently it was one thing to decide to seduce Alex, another to actually go through with it. Now she was here, all her doubts and fears were flooding back. And poor Alex looked even more confused than she felt.

‘I don’t know.’ Sighing, Alex leant back again, sinking down in his chair. Lily’s shoulders felt cold where his arm had been, and she reached for her cardigan, slipping it back on.

After a long pause, Alex said, ‘Jack told me you cleared your stuff out of the cottage.’

‘I did. Edward… He brought round some stuff from my mum’s. Turned out he was expecting me to go back to him. That’s why he didn’t bring any stuff from the cottage.’ Her mother, she didn’t add, obviously had no such illusions about Lily moving back in with her. She was probably just thrilled to have her dressing room back.

‘You told him you weren’t?’ Alex guessed.

‘Of course!’ Lily sighed. ‘We talked, a bit. He’s joining a dating site.’

‘Is that why you’re so… old-school Lily today?’

Lily laughed. ‘Old-school Lily?’

With a grin, Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t know. It seemed appropriate. You’re just so much more… free today. Happy and bouncy and chatting to everyone. Like you’re not watching what you say any more. Like you don’t care what people think.’

Which was the exact opposite of how she’d been for the last seven years. ‘It’s the clothes,’ Lily said, plucking at her skirt. ‘They made me remember who I used to be. I thought it might be fun to take her out and try her on again.’

‘Which explains the flirting,’ Alex said, drily. ‘I thought, after last weekend, you were putting some distance between us. Then today…’

‘I know,’ Lily said. ‘I’m sorry. I just… You nearly kissed me last weekend. And I know that would lead us down a whole path of stupid. I’m not what you want and I don’t want love at all! But…’

‘But?’ Lily watched him as he lifted his glass again, her gaze fixed on his long, tanned fingers. What would they feel like against her skin? A heat rushed through her at the thought, and her breath caught. Looking away, she caught his eyes, speculative and cool. Was he thinking the same thing? Was he wondering if they couldn’t just have one night? She bit her lip. What would old Lily have done? What would she have said?

More importantly, what did new Lily want?

Sucking in a deep breath she stared into his eyes and said, ‘I can’t stop thinking about how it would feel to kiss you.’

Chapter Twelve

She was trying to kill him. That was all there was to it. Her cunning plan was to drive him insane with lust. It was the only logical explanation.

Unable to break away from her gaze, from her green, green eyes, Alex blinked slowly and fumbled for his wine. ‘What, exactly, do you mean by that?’

‘Just what I say.’ Her tongue darted out to swipe across her bottom lip, and Alex bit back a groan at the strong impulse that flooded his body to take her mouth with his own. ‘I can’t stop thinking about it. And I think you’re feeling the same.’

Honestly, Alex was thinking about doing a lot more than kissing her, but he got the idea. ‘So, what do you propose we do about it?’

Lily paused, and took a deep breath before speaking. Was she nervous? She couldn’t feel as on-edge as he did. ‘We both know we’re not what the other’s looking for. You’re looking for love and marriage, and I’m looking for neither, quite honestly. But I know you want to build your business up first, before you start looking for your dream woman. And just because I don’t want to get married doesn’t mean I want to be alone forever. So, right now, while we’re here, feeling like this…’

‘A fling?’ The words came out hoarse, and Alex cleared his throat, trying to find some modicum of control over the conversation. ‘That’s what you want?’

Lily shifted her chair closer, and Alex fought warring impulses to move away or move much, much closer. ‘I just think that maybe Cora was right.’

‘I doubt it. I wouldn’t listen to her.’ Alex swallowed. ‘What did she say?’

‘That we’re kidding ourselves thinking this is just about friendship.’

The hell of it was that she was right, of course. How could he pretend all he wanted was friendship when he’d spent all day imagining stripping that skirt from her hips, pulling that silky top thing over her head? Laying her back on his bed and kissing every inch of her body.

‘But if it’s not friendship, and it’s not marriage…’

‘Exactly.’ Lily leant in, close enough that he could smell her hair, could reach her lips if he dared. ‘A fling. Like you say.’

As if this was his idea. As if he’d started this. Except, if he’d had any inkling that she might say yes, he would have done. In an instant.

‘I’m supposed to be giving that sort of thing up,’ he said, a last, desperate defence. Yes, he wanted this. But he couldn’t escape the feeling that Cora might have been right about more than the depths of their mutual delusion. If they did this… someone would get hurt. Someone always did. And for the first time ever, he found himself hoping it would be him, rather than Lily.

That was when he realized he’d already given in.

Whatever this was with Lily, maybe a casual liaison would be the perfect way to get it out of his system. One last fling for Old Alex, before he settled down fully into his new life.

‘Why give up something that could be so much fun?’ Her bare knee found its way between his thighs, pressing deliciously against his suit trousers so he could feel the heat of her through the fabric, and Alex gave up all attempts at serious philosophical thought. When had he turned so much to face her? How much wine had she had? He tried to remember. Not enough that he could blame it entirely for her actions. She wanted this, sure enough.

He took a breath, the scent of her filling his lungs, and he knew he’d never had a choice at all. Still, he had to know… ‘You’re sure about this?’

Her smile was lopsided. ‘Since I was about fourteen.’

Not entirely reassuring. But her hand slid higher up his leg, and his brain stopped functioning altogether. ‘Then let’s get out of here. Now.’

* * * *

It was taking far too long to find a taxi; apparently the entire Aberarian and Felinfach fleet were already ferrying guests from the wedding home in varying stages of drunkenness. Lily watched as Alex tried to negotiate with the taxi office woman and cursed the fact that she was about three glasses of wine over the limit, herself. She really didn’t want to give him time to change his mind.

Then he turned to her, his eyes glassy with want, and said, ‘Okay. It’s going to have to be the Grand.’

She grinned. The fading hotel on the seafront might not be the ultimate in luxury, but she was pretty sure they had beds, and that was all she was worried about right now.

The sea echoed in her ears, lapping up at the sand as they raced along the Esplanade to the Grand, too excited to walk. Lily giggled, gripping Alex’s arm, letting him tug her along. This was what she’d been looking for. This was the freedom she needed.

In fact, it wasn’t until they reached the reception desk that Lily felt the nerves stirring in her stomach. As Alex handed over his credit card, she watched him in the suddenly harsh light of the hotel foyer, and felt reality crashing down around her.