Summer Star (The Blue Phoenix Series Book 1.5) (15 page)
Read Summer Star (The Blue Phoenix Series Book 1.5) Online
Authors: Lisa Swallow
She scowls at me using her full name. “Want to wear your dinner?”
I’m too tired for banter, and her smart mouth reminds me of Sky. Sky, who hasn’t left my head or heart in four months and probably never will. Landing back on English soil has magnified my awareness of the part missing from my soul, and edged me toward contacting her again.
“I’m going to shower,” I say and her face pulls into concern. I haul my bag into the bedroom before she can say anything else.
Half an hour later, freshly showered in clean jeans and shirt but not feeling any less zombie-like, I head barefoot into my flat. The smell of spices whets an appetite I didn’t think I still had. There are two plates on the table and a bottle of water. I pass Myf in the kitchen and pull a bottle of red wine from the rack in the corner. Then I remember Sky likes red wine and put the bottle back. I wander into the dining area and pull a bottle of whisky out of the huge black cabinet, tipping myself a generous glass.
“I’ll get my own drink, should I?” Myf asks, placing the bowls on the long, glass table taking up the majority of the room.
“Oh. Sorry.” I look around for a second glass.
“You’re always a self-centred bastard when you come back off tour.”
Smirking at her admonishment, it strikes me again how similar Myf and Sky are in personality. Was that the attraction when I first met Sky? That she reminded me of my best friend from my teen years? I never wanted anything more than friendship with Myf; despite a brief teen hook-up, we’ve stayed firm friends. She’s made a good job of keeping me in my place over the years, but in a different way to Steve. She kept in my mind where I came from by being the girl from that past.
We eat and Myf chats about her latest role; she’s singing in a West End show and has the opportunity to head to Broadway next month. Her relationship with Miles appears serious, which is great. I’ve unwittingly scared off a few of her past guys that I haven’t liked, but I approve of him. Myf doesn’t agree with me vetting her prospective partners and I often get a mouthful if I interfere.
“You never told me what happened?” she asks cautiously after we finish the meal.
“When?” Like I don’t know what she means.
“I never got to meet Sky; you guys imploded before I did, and then you ran off to America.”
I turn my head toward the darkened skyline, the orange glow of the city illuminating buildings like a panoramic painting. “I was touring, I had to go.”
Myf pushes a strand of her long, dark hair from her face. “Those few weeks, you never explained what was happening. I only saw the two of you at the party that night Sky was there, and you were cut up then. What happened?”
Am I ready to open the gate I’ve trapped all the emotion behind? I take Myf’s plate and stack it on mine.
“It’s over with, Myf.”
“I hope you’re not going to disappear again? You scared the hell out of us!”
“I don’t know. I’m living day to day.” She’s pushing at the gate; I knew she would. I’ve skirted around answers to the questions in her demanding emails, but there’s no hiding anything from Myf now we’re face to face.
As I carry the plates to the kitchen, Myf follows me. “Are you on medication?”
I freeze. “What?”
“You left some in the bathroom…”
“What the fuck were you doing in my bathroom? There’re two at the other end of the apartment where you’re staying!”
She raises and eyebrow at my reaction. “Shit, Dylan. Calm down. I was looking for some spare towels.”
What do I say? No one else knows about the pills. I go to different doctors every time; they give me different shit depending on how bad I am. I’m taking meds but have no idea which tablet does what anymore, but if I take enough, they do the job.
“I have trouble sleeping,” I say.
“The ones I saw are for anxiety, Dylan.”
“Okay, I have difficulty sleeping because I’m fucking anxious.”
Myf holds both palms over her delicate features and studies me, then drops her hand to touch mine.
“What happened?” she asks.
“Which bit?” I ask gruffly; she’s pissed me off now, delving too far into the hidden.
“With Sky.”
Since the day Sky left, I haven’t told anyone outside of Jem and Steve why. Letting people think I’d got bored of her was easier than raking through the shit again. Because I’d poured everything out to Myf that night at the party, there’s no way she’d believe Sky meant nothing.
I turn and lean against the granite bench, gripping the edges until the cool stone bites into my hands. “Lily.”
Myf straightens. “What do you mean ‘Lily?’”
“She spoke to Sky.”
So many more words fight to escape, but I don’t want to let out the frustration and anger I know will come with them.
“And I suppose she lied again?” Myf’s lips thin.
“She told Sky that I raped her.”
The words are out. I squeeze my eyes closed, swallowing down everything else. Lily. Jem. Sky. The whole fucking mess.
“You told Sky the truth, right?” I don’t respond. “Dylan?”
Taking a shaky breath, I open my eyes. “What would be the point?”
“Umm, that you didn’t rape her? Fuck, Dylan! Why didn’t you tell that to Sky?”
“Because I feel like I did do it.”
“No. That’s bullshit and you know that. You didn’t touch her that night.”
“Not that night.”
Myf rubs her temples. “I know this is complicated and that I don’t know everything that happened between the three of you, but I sure as hell know you didn’t rape her. This is Lily’s sick revenge on you, accusing you of something you didn’t do!”
“Myf, I just had a long flight and a fucking long four months. I don’t want to get into this now.”
She grabs my arm as I turn to leave. “You didn’t even fight for Sky?”
“What’s the point?” I shrug her off.
We face off; Myf’s small figure is drawn up to her full height, but she’s still a foot shorter than I am so the stern look is amusing rather than threatening. The concern glistening in her eyes disturbs me, the truths I need to face spilling between us. I shift my gaze to pristine white kitchen walls, if I keep looking at Myf she’ll pull more out of me.
“Dylan. I think…”
I hold a hand up to indicate she needs to stop talking and she huffs, stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest. A door slams at the opposite end of the apartment; Miles’s arrival home saves me from a Myf lecture.
I leave for my bedroom before Miles appears; I don’t feel like chatting. My half-packed black rucksack lies on the floor, dirty clothes strewn across the pristine cream carpet. The room is gleaming clean, neat and everything in its carefully organised place. If only my life could be the same.
Why didn’t I fight for Sky? I’ve asked myself the question over and over, and at the heart of why is fear. A fear of resurrecting the past I deny and pulling myself back down.
I’m scared of seeing hatred in the eyes of the girl who believed in the person I could be.
On the day when Sky discovered who I really was in Broadbeach, the Dylan she met was wiped away and replaced by a different man.
But the real Dylan Morgan isn’t who she met in Broadbeach, or the person she accepted into her life afterward.
FALLING SKY IS AVAILABLE NOW!
PURCHASE LINKS:
Acknowledgements
I’m not great at these and there are so many people who have helped me with my journey so far I’m sure I’ll miss one of you.
Firstly, my beta readers Louise, Leeann, Kaylene and Tarsh - thank you for all your feedback. As always, the book would not be the same without your input.
A special thank you to Louise for her help with the admin side of my business (and the listening to panicking, whinging author side of the business too). Your friendship means a lot to me.
Thank you to the wonderful Becky and Peggy from Hot Tree Editing for their work on polishing my story.
The amazing cover is a collaboration between Najla Qamber Designs and Lindee Robinson Photography. A big thank you goes out to them for creating something so beautiful.
There are many bloggers and readers who’ve helped me out over the last few months and I’d like to thank you all personally but the list is so long (and I’m scared I’ll miss somebody out).
To everyone who has supported me over the last year of craziness by buying, reading or just believing in me when I doubted myself… thank you!
About The Author
Lisa is an author of new adult romance and writes both paranormal and contemporary.
In between running a business, looking after her family and writing, Lisa sometimes finds spare time to do other things. This often involves swapping her book worlds for gaming worlds. She even leaves the house occasionally.
Lisa is originally from the UK but moved to Australia in 2001 and now lives in Perth in Western Australia with her husband, three children and dog.
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