Summer's Edge (26 page)

"It’s only been four days, Alice, how on earth are you going to manage when we go travelling?"

Five days. It was Saturday when she had last seen and spoken with him, and it was now Thursday without word. Each day became a little more agonising.

"How are you going to manage without your cricket captain beau?" Alice asked.

Jules and Mike Jackson were surprisingly still infatuated though Jules swore it was just lust. Mike was also away on the tournament with Stewart so she was a fellow cricket widow that week.

"Let’s go and drown our sorrows at the Dog & Duck." Jules had started doing some bartending shifts there which meant they could now get the occasional free drink.

Alice thought it might add to her sorrows, being the place she had first properly met Stewart, but she agreed to go. Anything was better than another night of sitting by the phone.

They didn’t stay out late as Alice had to get up the next morning to work at the veterinary surgery, so she was back home by around half past ten. For the past few nights she had been taking the hall phone into her bedroom, with the aid of an extension cord she had found in a drawer, and putting it under a blanket to muffle it in case it rang.

Of course it would be this night, after she’d had too many drinks and needed to get an early night, that he finally called.

Alice practically leapt across the room to silence the phone. Even underneath several layers of blanket it sounded like a million decibels at this late hour. She hoped her mother and Richard hadn’t heard. Their room was some distance away, insulated from hers by the bathroom and the boys’ room, so hopefully not.

"Hello?" She hadn’t even considered the possibility that it might not be him. But it was, and just hearing his voice made her flood with joy.

Stewart apologised for not having called earlier. "There’s only a broken payphone where we’re staying. I finally managed to get to a phone box in town, I’m sorry to call so late. I’ve missed you."

She had missed him too. She told him so.

"Where are you now?" he asked.

"I’m in my room, I was out with Jules earlier but I’ve got work tomorrow."

"You’re alone?"

Of course she was. But she realised why he was asking.

"Yes, everyone else is asleep," she told him.

He was silent for a moment and she could almost feel him there in the room with her.
 

"I wish I was with you," he said.

She nearly cracked a joke from nerves, about her parents not appreciating a midnight visitor, but instead she said "I wish you were too."

"You know what I’d be doing to you right now?"

Even this far away from him, she shivered. She was clinging to the phone handset, holding it as close as possible to her ear as though that could somehow bring him nearer.

"What would you be doing?" She had a feeling he was going to tell her, so she slipped back into her bed, cradling the phone between her ear and the pillow.

"I’d have you naked with me. And I wouldn’t be letting you sleep."

The thought of it made her throb for him. She wondered if he was also turned on. He must be standing in a phone box somewhere, in the dark. She hoped the coins wouldn’t suddenly run out.

But she couldn’t answer him. She felt shy, even though he couldn’t see her face.

"Do you want me, Alice? Right now?"

Of course she did. "Yes, I really do."

"Touch yourself."

She didn’t dare disobey. She was gripping the phone with one hand for dear life. She let her other hand slide down beneath her clothing and felt how incredibly wet she was for him, even with him being so far away.

"How does that feel?"

"I wish it was you doing it to me."

"I will be, soon. But right now I want you to imagine it’s me."

He instructed her how to move her hand and where. The speed, the pressure.

She complied. She was so wet, so turned on. She couldn’t speak, she could barely breathe. She was half panting, half gasping over the phone as she followed his commands.
 

He continued to tell her exactly what to do. His voice grew huskier as he issued each direction.

She grew wetter, more swollen, more sensitive.

"Now I want you to come for me."

She was in his hands. Even though he wasn’t there. He was guiding her, step by step. She followed everything he told her to do.

"Swirl your finger around. Right where I know you want it."

She had to muffle her own cries as she came, hoping no one would hear, longing for him to be there to plunge inside her and press her to him and give her the fullness of it. "I want you. So much. Why aren’t you here?" She was breathless.

"I will be there, this weekend. And I want you for the whole of it. You’re going to stay with me and show me exactly what you did tonight."

"A repeat performance?" It had been hard enough doing it on the phone with him, she couldn’t imagine doing it in front of him. In person, with him watching her.

But the thickness of desire in his voice told her how much he wanted it. Wanted her.

"I love you, Alice. Sleep well. I’ll pick you up on Saturday night at eight. We should be back by then."

She couldn’t sleep though. He had made her orgasm, but it fanned the fire rather than quenched it. She lay there, needing him again, needing him more. Just thinking about what he had said to her and made her do triggered all her desire again.

Plus the thought of what he might have in store for her that weekend. If she felt this desperate for him after only a few days absence she could only imagine what he might be feeling. And tonight had been all about her.

She couldn’t believe how late it was when she looked at her bedside clock. Had they really been on the phone that long? Thank god he had called her, or she would have had some awkward explaining to do when the phone bill came with such a lengthy, late-night, long-distance call.

Alice was ecstatic to see Stewart again when he picked her up on Saturday evening. But she was nervous too. The intensity of how she felt scared her.

He looked more tanned, having been out in the sun all week at the tournament.

"Did it go well?" she asked him.

"If you mean did we win, then yes," he told he.

"How did Mike do?" she asked, out of interest for Jules.

"Jackson? Two half centuries, I don’t think he’s going to have many worries with county selection."

Jules would be so happy for him, Alice thought. Even though she would probably pretend she wasn’t bothered.

"So what are we doing tonight?"

"After eating boarding school food for a week, I need a decent meal," Stewart said. The tournament had been held in the grounds one of the schools taking part, and the teams and coaches had all been accommodated there.

They managed to find a restaurant that had a free table at that time on a Saturday night. He ordered steak and chips and Alice followed his lead. She wasn’t actually that hungry, she’d been too wired all day with anticipation about seeing him again.

He asked her how her week had gone, and she told him about work. Someone had brought in what they claimed was a kitten to the surgery. Except it had actually turned out to be an ocelot, and given its owner had no licence and no idea about its proper care, Jo had had to call the RSPCA.

"They’re restricted under the Dangerous Wild Animals Act. God only knows how he got hold of it, or why he took it to a regular vet," Alice said. "It was very sweet though. They’re tiny, just like a regular domestic kitten. The leopard fur rather gives it away."

"Does that happen a lot?"

"Animals that exotic? No. Owners not having a clue how to care for something, all the time," she told him.

"It must be frustrating," Stewart said.

"It drives Jo mad. It’s one of the reasons she’s happy to be leaving for South Africa. There’s only so much of that you can take, seeing animals not cared for properly and not always being able to do anything."

"What about you?"

"I think I’d like to work with exotics one day. If I specialised, I wouldn’t really be dealing with everyday owners," Alice said. "I have to get into vet school first of course, and then actually pass everything."

"You’ll be fine. You’re easily smart enough."

She didn’t know how he could be certain of this, but she loved that he had confidence in her. "What about you? Have you decided what you want to do when you go back to Australia?" It was a horrible thought, that he would be leaving to go so far away. At least she’d be leaving for her trip around the same time.

"I’ll probably take some time and decide when I’m over there. There’s no rush. There are jobs here as well."

"In England? You’d stay here?"

"Longer term it’s definitely an option." He looked at her as he said this, and she felt a thrill in the pit of her stomach. Part happiness, part fear. For a fleeting moment she imagined going to veterinary school with him in travelling distance, rather than the other side of the world. Would he really do that for her? Was it wise to even hope for it?

* * *

Later they were at his place, and Alice had been continuing to flip between happiness and a strange sense of panic. On one hand she was thrilled by the thought of Stewart in her future. On the other hand she didn’t feel ready to commit to anything yet.
 

She was worried, given what he had gone through to be with her and the risks he had taken, that maybe he would expect some kind of guarantee.

They were drinking coffee before going to bed and though she tried she was unable to hide her conflicting emotions.
 

Stewart discerned her anxiety.

"Something’s been troubling you, hasn’t it? You can tell me."

He was looking directly into her eyes and she saw love there and concern.

She bit the bullet. Took a deep breath. She was going to have to have this conversation eventually.
 

"I worry that I can’t be what you want. Yet anyway. It’s not that I don’t love you, I just don’t know yet if I can… make decisions." She knew she was garbling and sounding even more confused. She was also getting more confused in her own head.

"What do you think I want from you?" he asked her.

"It’s just, with you having been married and everything. You’re probably ready for different things and I can’t do that or be that, yet anyway," Alice said.

Stewart was smiling. "So you think my plan is to set up a white picket fence with a couple of kids in the next twelve months, is that it?"

"No. Well, not exactly, it’s just that you must have thought about those things when you were married, and maybe you might be ready for all that again, soon."

Now he was laughing. "I can’t believe you’ve been worrying about that. I love you, but we have all the time in the world. There’s no way I’d ever rush you or pressure you into something. If I wanted that - if I wanted it now with someone - I would never have made a move on you. It would have been unfair to both of us. But if we both feel the same way in a few years’ time we can have a different conversation."

She was hugely relieved but also embarrassed for bringing it up.

"I’m sorry. I just panic from time to time. I haven’t felt like this with anyone before."

He stroked her hair back off her face. "Nor have I. Not with Bree, not with anyone. It took meeting you to make me realise what it should be like. But I’m not on a timetable. When I say years, I mean years. I want you to graduate, figure out what you want to do and where you want to be. And if that’s with someone else, then I’ll deal with it."

"You might too," Alice said. "Fall for someone else, I mean."

He laughed again. "I doubt it. The one advantage I have being older is that I have enough experience to know how you compare. But I’m well aware that you don’t. And if you need to find that out, then that’s what you have to do."

Alice couldn’t imagine this in a million years. Every other guy just seemed insubstantial compared to him. Just looking at him now she couldn’t help wanting him. Thinking about the hard muscles under his clothes, the warmth of his skin, how his hands felt touching her all over her body.

"If you want me to compare you to other guys, you’d better start by showing me what you’re capable of."

He looked surprised for a moment, then realised that she was teasing him. "You need reminding?"

"Yes, I’ve forgotten. Completely."

"Have you forgotten this?" He tilted her head back and kissed her lips, first gently then firmly, his tongue exploring her, entwining with hers. His hands cupped her backside and he moulded her against him so she could feel his heat and strength. She loved the height of him, how tall and powerful he was. "And this?" He ran his hands down her sides, his thumbs brushing her breasts through the thin cotton covering them, his mere touch causing her nipples to go taut.
 

"This too?" His lips were in the hollow of her neck now, his hands slid between her legs, caressing up her thigh and slipping inside the fabric of her underwear. She was already slick and ready for him. As always, he knew exactly where to touch her.

"I can’t remember any of it." She could barely breathe the words, she was so hazy with desire for him.

"And this? You’ve forgotten this?" He had pulled her top open and had his mouth on her breast, his tongue swirling around her nipple just as his fingers probed her near her most sensitive place, not touching directly but just circling around, driving her crazy. She squirmed to get him to touch her there but he had no intention of giving her release that early.

Then he slipped a finger inside her and it made her want him inside her properly so badly she actually whimpered.

"Do you need me to show you exactly what I can do with you?" he asked.

"Yes." Please, she thought.

But he teased her mercilessly. Drawing everything out as long as possible, making her cling to him and beg him to fill her, to return to her.

"Don’t stop!" she said for what felt like the hundredth time. He was deliberately working her up to the edge then drawing back, leaving her helpless.