Sun Rose (Rose of the Dawn Series Book 1) (8 page)

“Okay,
so what do we need to clear up?” I don’t take the seat JJ offers.

“Would
you like something to eat?” He holds out a plate of tiny pastries. Where did he
get these? Aegis doesn’t have a bakery.

“No,
thank you.” It may be the first time in a long time I’ve felt hungry. I’ve been
taking these vitamins and they seem to keep hunger pangs away. “What’s this
about, JJ?”

“I
would just like to talk to you a bit.”

“I’m
not going to change my mind about anything, especially not what you proposed
before.”

“No,
no, that’s not it.” He pours himself something from a teapot on a hot plate.
How does he have electricity? Am I the only one left in the dark here?

“Well,
what is it then? I really have to find Pike.”

“What
for? I mean, like I said, he’s not even in Aegis today.” JJ’s look is curious,
his eyes squint at me.

He
did say that.

This
room makes me nervous. The walls seem to shift in tone depending on his mood,
and right now they’re the deep red of a clenched fist.

“Do
you have any more tests for me to undergo, JJ?”

JJ
smiles and shakes his head. “Not right now. Time is a manipulated variable in
this little experiment I like to call
Rosamund Campbell
. We need to see
how time affects all things
Rose
.”

JJ
sips his tea. I knew there would be a lapse in testing, but I didn’t realize
how long. I’ve been here at least a month now and I don’t have a solid idea of
what it looks like when all the tests are done.
Will I get to go home? Do I
want to?

“I
also asked you in here,” JJ continues.

“To
convince me? I’m done with this conversation. Really. I’ve got to go.”

“I
wanted to apologize for the way I pressured you,” he rubs my arm. It feels the
same as it did before. My skin crawls. “I just needed you to understand the
urgency in all of this. It really is for the ultimate good, even if it doesn’t
seem like so at first.”

“What’s
so urgent, though?”

“Every
day people like us get a little closer to death. We are dying, Rose. A little
more than the day before. How would you feel if someone in your family was
dying? If someone in your family died?”

“I
don’t know. I don’t know if I would care,” I say and can’t believe that it came
out of my mouth. I try to think about Dory or little Evie and I get a tinge of
emotion, but nothing when I think of my mother or father. How strange.

“Not
even your sisters?” He is baiting me.
How does he know I have sisters?

I
shake my head, though I think I would be sad if they were gone. I was
especially close with Dory. I do love her and Evie, too.

“So
this is why we have to act fast? It has nothing to do with making money fast?”
I ask him.

“Nothing
about this would make us money fast, Rose.”

I
lean away from him. I don’t trust him. I can’t trust him
.

“What
would you suggest we do? How would you set this whole thing in motion? Would
you connect me to some sort of life-support and slice off parts of my organs?”

JJ
laughs.

“I
don’t think it’s funny.”

“Rose,
you’re not some deli meat. It wouldn’t be like you described at all.”

“Then
tell me, what would it be like?” I fold my arms across my chest.

“The
process would begin the day before. You would have to fast for 24 hours, but you’d
be infused with various vitamins and minerals generally missing in regular
diets. That shouldn’t be a problem for you. Then we’d hook you up to an IV of
rejuvenating fluids. You’d have to get a lot of sleep the day before the
procedure, so we’d keep you on bed rest.”

“You
mean you and Hara. You could do all of this here?”

“We
could. We’d have everything sterilized and set up. Hara is quite capable of
performing everything herself.”

I
stifle a laugh. She’s just a nurse. “And then what?”

“Then,
whether you’re here in my room, or in the lab, we’d biopsy your organs one at a
time. There wouldn’t be any slicing. Just a really long needle gathering a
specified amount of viable cells to regrow in something similar to a Petri
dish.”

“Wouldn’t
that be the same as cloning?”

“Not
exactly. Once we regrew your organs, we could change the genetic code to match
the recipient. It doesn’t sound like it, but it really would be much less work.
All we would need are the cells. They’d take care of the rest given time.”

“All
of my organs?”

JJ
nods. At least he isn’t shrugging.

“My
heart?”

He
nods again. “And your brain,” he adds.

“My
brain? How could you get those cells without killing me?”

“That
would be a bit more delicate,” he says.

“Explain
it to me.” I’m getting testy. The sound of his voice already belies the
challenge of the task.

“We’d
have to stop your heart to harvest the cells. I agree, it wouldn’t be easy, but
it is so necessary to further science and test the limits of human capacity,”
he talks to himself now, not to me.

“Test
the limits of human capacity,” I repeat. “Like with your parents?”

“That
isn’t the same, Rose. They had no choice. But nothing they underwent caused
them to suffer undue pain.”

Like
a robot, he talks of his parents much like Patience did when we were first introduced.
I’ve become speechless. I don’t know what to say even given the ability. It’s a
lot to wrap my brain around and that’s before it’s biopsied. How much of this
plan does Pike know and how much did he consent to?

“But
once we had them,” JJ continues, again talking at me, “we’d start it up again.
You’d be fine.”

“Yeah,
but if I wasn’t, and my heart didn’t restart, you’d be free to take all of my
organs without worrying about the opinion of
Rosamund Campbell
. That
sounds like a much better plan to me.”

“Don’t
be ridiculous, Rose.” JJ grabs my shoulders. He has the same tone my father did
that night in the hospital. Condescending. Like I have no say in what happens
to me, like I don’t know what I’m thinking about. “With you dead, your organs
would die, too. They would be worthless without you alive. It would all be a
complete waste.”

He
lets my shoulders drop. He’s so strong; he was almost holding me up. I feel the
weight of my body and I have to regain my balance.

“And
my brain? What about that?” I ask.

“Again,
we’d have to stop all neurological processes. Though if anything went wrong,
not that it would, we’d just implant a chip until we could right things.”

A
chip.

“What
if I want to leave? Just go home?” I don’t like what he’s proposing. It
terrifies me.

“What
do you think would happen to you if you go home? Once the Imperial Bead finds
out you have such an unprecedented genetic code, which I’m sure they have
already, that’s exactly what they’ll do – hook you up to machines and keep your
organs alive with or without you. We can’t do that here because we don’t have
the capabilities. The Beadledom does, though.”

“So
you’ve thought about it?” I, too, consider the validity of this point.

“Rose.
Come on now. No one here wants to lose you. We like you. We can keep you safe
here.”

“You
want to use me, though.”

JJ
shakes his head. There’s something terribly charming about him even as he
discusses my potential demise. I didn’t learn about any of this during my
studies. I don’t know how to relate to others, let alone deal with charming
boys.

No,
I won’t let him in.
I don’t dislike him. I don’t trust him.

“Okay,”
I resume. “So you’re going to
try
to not let me die. What’s in it for
me? Fame? Fortune?”

“None
of this is about fame, Rose. Think about it. Instead of having completely
artificial organs, people could have natural, regenerating ones. There would be
nothing fake about them, and they could remain healthy as long as those organs
lasted. If their original parts were sick or dying, they could be replaced with
yours that never get sick. Were you ever sick as a child?”

I
think back, but I can’t remember ever being ill. Not even a little cold. I
shake my head.

“These
people’s organs could be replaced with real, living parts, grown to their own
specifications of size, weight, genetic code. No one would have to lose anyone.
No one would lose themselves.”

“But
would I be expected to be an unlimited donor. How long would I have to do
this?”

JJ
pauses and I don’t expect he wants to give me a truthful answer.

“As
long as it took to find others like you, or if there was a way to keep the
regenerated organs alive without you for any length of time.”

“And
you’re sure you can do that here?”

“We
think we can try. Hara will be working on that.”

That
doesn’t comfort me. I don’t know that I trust her any more than I trust JJ. A
couple of kids with basic medical training.

“And
we’d be doing this for free? Only the most in need would be recipients, right?”
I think about everyone here and what Ezekiel said. I think about Pike. I might
consider it then, just with modifications.

“Well,
now Rose, let’s not be hasty,” JJ clasps his hands and then lets them go. “We
might need a little outside capital to get things going, but in time,
eventually, that would be the goal.”

“So
you’re saying you’d sell these regrown organs? For how much?” I can’t believe
I’m even considering it.
This is ridiculous.
I must be in some alternate
universe. I’ve only heard of this stuff before in books. In real life, it’s
unbelievable. Impossible, even.
Isn’t it?

“It
wouldn’t be like for sale in a store, but it would be to an investor or group
of investors. Then they’d see what the market could sustain. Who gets first
crack at it.”

“I
don’t like this, JJ. It’s a lot of risk and a lot of work and I’m the one at
risk. And then to sell them to the highest bidder. You’d sell
my
organs.”

“Don’t
be selfish, Rose.”

“Excuse
me?” I didn’t realize I was selfish. I’d feel better about the entire deal if I
were giving myself away for free. Then I’d have some control over it. I don’t
like the idea of being an investment opportunity.

“Think
about it, okay? That’s all I ask.” He looks at his watch and gets up, taking my
hands, pulling me up, too.
When did I sit down?

He
escorts me to the door.

“Listen,
Rose, don’t mention this conversation to Pike.”

“Why
not? He’s not in on this plan?”

“Well
no, not yet. I don’t think he’d be supportive of it. I have to figure out a way
to broach it with him.”

“But
wouldn’t he be all for making this kind of medical breakthrough available to
everyone, even if it has to start out in the hands of investors?”

“Well,
you would think so. Unfortunately, he gets a little territorial over the girls
he likes.”

“What
do you mean?”
Pike likes me?

“I’m
not sure he’d like you to be that close to me for any length of time, that’s
all I’m saying,” JJ laughs at this and it unnerves me. “Don’t let Pike fool
you. He’s not like the rest of everyone. Heck, none of us are like each other,
really.”

“What
does this have to do with anything?” I’m confused.

“He
didn’t give you our backstories, did he? Noble of him. Well, we all have a
story. Something for another time, perhaps.” The door opens and a girl stands
just beyond in the hallway. I’ve seen her before, tending to the small flock of
sheep roaming around the common. She looks way more mature right now than she
does with the lambs. She is waiting to come in as I’m being pushed out.

“Think
about it, okay, Rose? And like I said before, I think you have an amazing body.
You really should use it,” he winks and extends a hand to the girl waiting to
come in. She smiles at me.

I
step out and the girl steps in.

“What’s
he got to talk to you about?” A voice speaks from the stairwell. It echoes up.

“Ezekiel!
Gosh, you scared me. Have you been waiting here this entire time?” I turn away
from JJ’s door. I can hear the girl giggling inside. “I’m on my way down,” I
say.

“I
thought you would’ve gone straight to Pike. To tell him about earlier,” Ezekiel
says.

I
shrug my shoulders. I would’ve gone to Pike had he been there.

“You
can, you know. Tell Pike.”

“Okay.
Maybe I will.”
Will I?
I keep walking down the stairs. Ezekiel stays so
close, he hovers.

“Can
I give you some advice, Rose?”

I
stop and turn toward him. His face softens and I think I can see something I
didn’t notice before in his eyes.
What is it?

“What
is it?” I say trying not to sound impatient.

“You
have to find someone here you can trust. I’m not sayin’ it’s me, but you need
someone.”

That’s
almost exactly what Dory said in her note.

And
Tithonus.

“You
cannot trust James Jameson,” he adds.

“Why
not? Are you ordering me not to, or telling me I shouldn’t? How do you know I
can’t trust him? For all I know, you’re someone I should be worried about!”

We
take the stairs down.

“I
haven’t done anything wrong, Rose.”

I
know that.

“But
you’ve determined that JJ has.” If JJ didn’t want me to mention anything to
Pike, I’m sure Ezekiel doesn’t know. “At least he’s not secretive like you,
sending messages to my sister without telling me. He’s told me the truth from
the start,” I lie, or at least speak not knowing the truth.

“I
have
been secretive, yes, but I haven’t lied. JJ changes the truth
whenever he wants, to meet his needs. The kid’s got an agenda. Always has. You
can’t trust that.”

I
don’t like what Ezekiel is saying, but I agree. JJ is smooth, charming, and
attractive, but manipulative. I know this.

“I’m
not planning on telling Pike anything.” I state.

“I’m
not saying that doesn’t sound all well and good, but Pike’s been working extra
hard to keep you safe and comfortable. You have no idea.”

“Safe?
Yes. But comfortable? No. Have you been in my room? Tell him I could use a
proper mattress, not a crummy cot, and I’d love for something other than these
stiff combat boots. How come Patience gets to wear long skirts and tank tops?
And has anyone seen JJ’s room? I don’t care if I sound like a whiney rich kid!”
I am a whiney rich kid, and I’m ashamed. But that isn’t who I really am, is it?
I don’t think I know. I don’t think I ever knew. I never had to know. And I
can’t stop myself.

We
get to my room and Ezekiel unlocks the door. I stare up at him, but he glares
back. I thought I saw something in Ezekiel’s eyes before, but it’s gone. I
thought I saw a soul, but I was wrong.

“Oh,
never mind,” I say and he tips his head to me. I feel better venting, but I’ve
been cooped up in this place too long. I need to get –

I
stop once I step inside my room. The door closes behind me. In the dark, I am
still able to see 5 candles tied with pink yarn atop a pillow –
a pillow!
– on my bed. I walk over and pick up the candles. A pack of matches is tucked
in the string and a note is nestled among the bundle. On my knees, I angle the
note in the stream of light coming in from under my door.

Rosamund,

To
help you sleep and stay awake.

We
need you and are thankful.

Pike

I
read the chicken-scratch writing over and over again. He’s given me a present.
No, two presents. And a note. He must be back. I wonder where he is.

“Maybe
I’ll get some rest first.” I put the note with the others and the bunch of
candles on the floor. I pick up my feet, boots and all, and put them on the
bed. I lie down, crashing my head into the pillow.

A
pillow.

My
eyes well up with tears. I take a deep breath in. It smells of home. Memories
of my room come flooding over. The way my bedroom could be as bright or dark as
I wanted it, kind of like JJ’s moods. I shake my head and inhale again.
Comforting music filtered in through the air purifying vents and circulating
around my room. My bed that was always so soft and warm. Cozy. It smells like Evie
and Dory. My heart aches and I think I might miss them. In my mind I can see my
parents running races with Dory and I on the front lawn. And then later, when
my parents lost all living energy, Dory and I teaching Evie to catch and
classify invader species in the backyard. My mother, my sisters, my father. I
start to cry. It is my room. I miss something.

It’s
my pillow.

“How’d
he–”

There’s
a knock on my door. I jump up to answer it. I don’t bother drying my tears.
It’s Pike.

“Rose,
hey, I see you got my–”

I
throw my arms around his neck and hug him as hard as I’ve ever hugged anyone.

“Oh
thank you, Pike! Thank you thank you thank you!” I hold his neck and then kiss
it. I kiss his cheek and his neck again. Over and over. It’s the only real
emotion I’ve felt since I got here. It may well be the only emotion I’ve ever
felt.

“Whoa!
Rose, hold up a sec–” He holds me at arms-length, and his smile beams, matching
mine. I don’t think I’ve seen him happy before.

And
then time stands still.

I
lean in, my face closing on his. He doesn’t move away, but I can feel his hands
on my arms relax.

My
lips touch his and they are soft. Softer than I ever imagined. His lips press
back and I move my arms up around his neck. My body is against his and I can
feel his warmth. He feels like home.

“Rose–”
His face is still close to mine.

“Please,
Pike, don’t say anything.”
How do I know what to do?

“Rose,
we shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.”

I
move my face towards his again.

“Wait.
Stop, Rose. Please.” He pulls away and my body, every nerve once on end with
excitement, numbs at his refusal.

“Am
I doing something wrong?” Confused, I’ve never been kissed before and I’ve never
tried to kiss anyone either. I don’t know if I’m doing it right. “I’m sorry.”

“No.
Rose, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he says stepping back. “You didn’t.
Actually, it was all very right.” He smiles but takes another step back.

“Then
what’s wrong? Was it bad? I’m sorry– I thought–” My heart sinks. I feel sick.
So much for emotions. I take a step back myself, but stumble. He reaches out,
but I wave him off.

“You
didn’t do anything wrong,” he rubs his head with both hands. “I gave you the
wrong idea. I shouldn’t have given you the pillow. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

“No!
I love the pillow. That you gave me the pillow. Thank you!” I look down at my
own hands. I wring them. “I don’t want to give the pillow back.”

“You
don’t have to, it’s yours.”

“How’d
you get it anyway?” I sit down on my cot and put the pillow on my lap, then up
to my face. I can’t bring myself to look at him anymore.

“Oh,
it wasn’t a problem. Really, I–”

“Will
I ever go home?”

“I
don’t know. I’m not sure how safe it will be; how safe it is.”

“I
miss my family,” I lie. “No, I miss Dory.”

“Your
sister.”

I
nod, but I don’t have the same energy I had minutes ago. It is quiet between
us. Neither of us moves and neither of us looks at the other.

“Is
it because of Hara?” I ask after a minute’s silence. Pike still stands in the
doorway. I don’t think I’ve cared for anything so much. It isn’t my pillow or
my home. It’s Pike.

“Is
what because of Hara?” he asks. His eyebrows furrow and I can see those deep
creases in his forehead and around his eyes. They are sad.

“The
reason you don’t want to kiss me. Is it because of Hara?”

“No.
Not really. Maybe.”

“It’s
okay that it is. I should’ve thought about that first. I know you two are kind
of inseparable.” The pillow is back up to my face, my eyes peeking over the top
as I control the flow of tears that threaten to fall.

“It’s
not entirely like that. It’s complicated.”

I
nod, pulling the pillow back down.

“Listen,
I should go.” He can’t bring himself to look at me, though I can’t help but
stare.

“Do
you have to?” I whisper. I want him to stay. Or go with him.

“I
should. I’ve got a few things.” He looks behind and over his shoulder. He nods
to Ezekiel.

How
long has he been there? Did he see me kiss Pike?

“I’ll
stop by later. Or I’ll see you later,” he says.

“Yes.
No problem. Sounds good.” I don’t look up.

“Are
you okay?” he asks, with one foot out the door.

“Everything’s
okay. I’m okay if you’re okay. Really.” I feign a smile. I don’t want to bother
him any more than I already have. I’m embarrassed, too.

“I’m
good.” He smiles back and I think he’s pretending, too. “I’ll see you around.”
He closes the door and I am plunged back into darkness. I don’t mind and I
don’t bother fumbling for the candles Pike gave me, either. It’s better if we
all pretend. Pretend that he likes me. Pretend that I don’t like him. I shake
my head. Pretend that I never had the candles in the first place so I don’t
have to know what it feels like when they burn out and I don’t have them for
good.