Sunflower (10 page)

“What have you done?” Her china-blue eyes questioned his, afraid of whatever answer he might give.

“I don’t know.”

It was a reply she’d never expected. She watched him turn away, his thumbs looped in his belt. He stared out into the yard.

“At least you are honest.”

Neither of them moved. Analisa watched dust motes fall in the stream of light filtering in through the front window. The room itself was quite still, the sounds from the visitors outside muffled by the thick sod walls. The minutes passed as Caleb stared into the sunlit yard. Finally, he turned and walked back across the room to stand before Analisa once again. He met her gaze unflinchingly before his eyes roved over her face.

“I couldn’t let them hurt you any more. I wanted to stop them, to stop the hurt.” He smiled crookedly at her, his eyes taking on a faraway look. “When I was a boy, growing up with my mother’s people, I came upon some children torturing a rabbit. When I discovered what they were doing, I killed it swiftly, ending its pain. I did not stop to consider the consequences; I merely reacted.”

“Just as you did today.”

“Yes.”

“Then we must go outside and tell them to go away.” She turned toward the door. A gentle touch on her upper arm stopped her.

“Wait, Analisa.” Caleb turned her by her shoulders, and she stood facing him, forced to tip her head back to look up into his deep blue eyes. “I’ve had time to think since I spoke out.”

“Only minutes.”

“Why should we not be married?” He went on as if she had not spoken. “I’ll admit we hardly know each other, but you do need the protection of a man’s name, not only for your sake, but for the boy’s. I’m willing to marry you to salvage your name and to silence these people once and for all. If you wish, my protection is all you will ever have to take from this marriage.”

“No.”

“I care about your boy. He deserves better than what he’ll have to face if you continue to fight them all alone. Hell, let them think he is mine for all I care.”

“No!” Her refusal was stronger this time.

Caleb stared at her for a moment, trying to read the expression in her eyes. “I see. You don’t want to marry a ‘breed, is that it?”

“Not at all, Mr. Storm. If you believe that, you haven’t learned much about me, have you? I refuse because I don’t
need
your noble sacrifice, nor does my son. We have managed up to now—”

“How?” His voice was a cold demand. “By hiding yourself out here on this godforsaken farm, afraid to go into town, afraid to let that child out of your sight? You have shut yourself into a shell, Analisa, a small, fragile shell. Like that of an egg, it could break at any moment. Then where would you be? Where would the boy be?” He pointed toward the door. “I wouldn’t put it past those people to ride out here one day and demand that you give Kase up, hand him over to them. They’ll bundle him off to some mission school, and you’ll never see him again.” Caleb watched the sudden fear in her eyes and hated what he was doing, but the longer he spoke, the more determined he became to bend her to his will, to make sure her future was assured. “I don’t know why or how, but you’ve had a hold over me ever since I met you, Analisa. I’ve never been in love before, and I sure as hell can’t say that I am now, but something has been holding me here. When I ride away, I want to know that you’ll be better off than you were before I came, and the only thing I can leave you with right now is my name.”

Shaken by the force of his words, her mind reeling with the thought of losing Kase, Analisa was silent. She stood frozen, lost in thought as Caleb reached out and gently, carefully pulled her to him, holding her much as he had the night before in an embrace that made no demands upon her, offering only comfort and support. She allowed herself a moment of warmth before she pulled back to look up once again into his eyes. She wanted so to believe him, needing to trust in someone. Could he make life sane again?

Slowly, in a silent response, she nodded her assent.

Less than an hour later, Analisa found herself wondering how it had come to pass that she was standing in the small sod house on the Iowa prairie, dressed in an everyday homespun gown and apron, her hair hastily recombed and wound into a loose knot on the crown of her head. She clutched an array of wilting wildflowers, an offering from Kase, who stood in front of her and Caleb, not sure what the strange ceremony meant, but happy and excited nonetheless. Edvard stood quietly near his granddaughter’s shoulder.

Dominie Wierstra held a small, worn Bible, its once shining leather cover worn thin at the corners and showing signs of long years of use. It had been Analisa’s mother’s Bible, and it had passed through the many hands and many lives of her forebears. Analisa had quietly but firmly insisted the minister use it during the ceremony.

Caleb stood strong and silent by her side, responding to the minister’s questions in a firm, even voice that lessened Analisa’s trepidation. She forced her mind not to stray to the hours and days that would follow this moment. Even in her dreams, when she had allowed herself to dream, Analisa had never envisioned her own wedding. She had convinced herself she was unworthy of marriage. What man would want a woman who’d been soiled in such a foul manner? Yet here she stood beside Caleb Storm, a man she knew virtually nothing about, repeating the vows read by Dominie Wierstra. For all she knew of him, Caleb could be a hired killer or an outlaw on the run, the kind of gunman she had read about in newspaper serials.

The longer she was forced to stand beside him in the close air of the tiny room, the more fearful Analisa became about the outcome of her hasty decision. She studiously avoided Clara Heusinkveld’s stare and concentrated instead on the dying beauty of the wildflowers clutched too tightly in her hand.

The ceremony ended as abruptly as it had begun. Prompted by the minister to kiss the bride, Caleb firmly grasped Analisa’s shoulders and drew her toward him. His lips brushed her temple before he pressed them warmly against her mouth. Analisa stood wide-eyed, her lips closed against the kiss, unsure of the feelings he had aroused in her. Caleb released her before she had time to respond to his touch. Her face flamed with color. An awkward silence ensued while all eyes stared at the newly wedded couple.

Finally Dominie Wierstra cleared his throat and extended his hand, returning Analisa’s Bible. “You’ll want to enter the marriage.” The minister’s attempt at light conversation failed as Analisa offered no response to his comment. “I will fill out the proper certificates when I get to town. For now, I’ll just sign in the book and you can do so as well.”

While the adults tended to the business aspects of the marriage—Analisa searching for paper, pen, and ink, Mevrou Heusinkveld staring thoughtfully while Edvard chatted with the minister—Kase’s voice piped up above the babble. “What happens now?”

It was Caleb’s turn to darken with embarrassment in response to the boy’s innocent statement. He turned away from the group to collect his hat from a peg near the door.

“What happens now,” he began, his composure tightly controlled once again, “is that we get back to work. Let’s go Kase, Edvard.” As he swung the door open, Caleb turned to nod a curt dismissal to Dominie Wierstra and Mrs. Heusinkveld. “Reverend, ma’am.” Edvard shook the minister’s hand heartily and said good-bye. The door closed behind the visitors as he and Kase moved off into the yard behind Caleb.

“Well, Analisa, I’m sure you’ll be needing some time to yourselves, now that you and Mr. Storm have married. Newly-weds and all that.” The overblown woman took delight in embarrassing Analisa.

Dominie Wierstra, pushed to anger by the woman’s tone, stepped closer to Analisa, diverting the older woman’s attention. “Miss ... Mrs. Storm, I wish you every happiness in your new marriage. If you ever need anything, please feel free to come and see me.” Analisa noted that the man looked doubtful, as if regretting his actions.

Outwardly she was cool and aloof, showing no response to what had passed in the small room. Her mind was so filled with questions that she paid little attention to what was being said to her. She managed to nod in the minister’s direction. If the two townspeople thought it strange that the groom had resumed his daily chores, they said nothing to Analisa. Exchanging a look with Clara Heusinkveld to let her know he was more than ready to depart, Dominie Wierstra moved toward the door.

Rousing herself from her contemplation, Analisa followed them as far as the threshold and stood watching as they mounted the carriage and drove through the open gateway before turning toward Pella. She looked down at her hands. The Bible and the wildflowers were still clutched in her grasp. Releasing a long, slow sigh, Analisa walked to the table and lowered herself onto the end of the bench, her movements those of one walking in a dream. She stared at the flowers and the Bible for a moment before she set them gently on the table beside her. She rested her elbow alongside them and let her fingertips slide back and forth across the embroidered stitches of the linen table runner.

A chicken squawked somewhere outside, and the distant sound of hammering drifted on the air. Caleb, Kase, and Edvard had indeed resumed their duties. Should she begin the noon meal preparations as if nothing at all had occurred? Numbly, Analisa shook her head, hoping to clear her vision. She didn’t get up.

There was a quick knock on the door, but before she could open it, the wooden portal swung inward and Caleb entered. Analisa watched as he crossed the short distance between them and dropped down on one knee to look up at her. He’d left his hat outside, near the pump, she surmised from the fresh-washed appearance of his face and the slick look of his neatly combed jet-black hair. The collar of his shirt was stained with water spots. He reached for her hand. Analisa stared at the strong, dark fingers holding her own and then lifted her eyes to meet Caleb’s.

“I imagine you’re feeling as confused as I am right now.” His voice was low and steady while his fingers played idly with Analisa’s.

She smiled, thankful for his understanding, aware that his confusion was as real as her own.

“I’m not quite sure what I’m to do just now,” she began, the smile fading as she watched his blue eyes, then studied his high forehead and his nose and lips. “Am I to make dinner as usual or begin sewing or merely sit and wonder at what I’ve done this day? I don’t ever remember being so uncertain. There’s always been so much to do.”

“We can’t hide from this, Analisa. We are married, that’s a fact.”

Analisa stiffened involuntarily and immediately regretted it, for Caleb let go of her hand, as if sensing her panic.

“Hey.” He smiled again, rising from his crouched position to join her on the bench. “I meant what I said. This marriage will be whatever you want it to be.”

Analisa was silent, her eyes fixed on a point across the room. What
did
she want? she asked herself.

“I think the least we could do under the circumstances is take the afternoon off,” Caleb said. “I’ve set Kase and Opa to fence-mending. Why don’t you pack us a cold picnic and leave something here for them? We’ll walk down by the stream and talk things out. I told you earlier that I’ll be leaving here soon, and I need to explain some things to you. How about it?”

A day without work. A day to walk with Caleb, to talk and to enjoy a few moments of leisure. He had promised to demand nothing of her. Analisa returned her gaze to Caleb and nodded.

“I promise not to swim in front of you.”

She tried to hold back the smile, but she was unsuccessful and felt herself smiling openly while she spoke to him. “I will give you the hardest task. You shall explain to Kase that he may not join us. The picmick will be ready in a few minutes.”

Caleb threw his head back in laughter, startling Analisa.
“Picnic,”
he said.

Pointedly ignoring his laughter, Analisa brushed at the full skirt of her dress as she stood and began opening tins and bags of food. Caleb’s laughter filled the room and followed him outside.

The cotton woods along the stream offered a shaded retreat from the September sunshine. With the remains of their picnic spread out on a piece of calico between them, Analisa and Caleb rested in silence, awkward with their new status as man and wife. A jackrabbit hopped tentatively near the silent figures and froze as Caleb slowly raised his hand to draw Analisa’s attention to the curious creature crouched amid the scrub. She watched it with a smile until the animal darted away into the brush.

“Thank you for the meal.” Caleb’s voice mingled with the sound of the stream sliding over the rocks along the bank. “And for the company.”

Analisa nodded in acknowledgment and continued to relax in silence. She fought to keep her eyes from straying too often toward the handsome figure beside her. Caleb had changed into a crisp white cotton shirt and had left the collar open. Although creased from being folded in his saddlebag for so long, the shirt was clean and made of quality material. The white of the cloth enhanced his dark skin and magnified the deep blue of his eyes. She wondered for a moment how he would look in a shirt the color of the sky.

“I’ve never seen that dress before,” he said. “I like it. Did you make it?”

Analisa blushed. She thought he hadn’t noticed her change of clothes. The dress was one she’d designed herself, a deep rose-colored cotton with simple lines, suitable for everyday wear, but ornamented with ruffles around the neckline and cuffs. The high collar that graced her long neck also gave Analisa a regal appearance and enhanced the smooth bodice, which outlined her firm, full breasts. A wide sash encircled her waist. Although it was made of inexpensive yard goods, the dress was Analisa’s best, and she was secretly warmed to hear that Caleb liked it.

“Yes, I made it. Thank you. There’s not much cause for me to own the fancy gowns the ladies of Pella order. I have never worn this dress before today.”

Caleb was at once reminded of women he knew in the East, women with wardrobes full of gowns from France, worn once and then discarded. Analisa lived a life altogether unsuited for such possessions, a life not all that different from that of his Sioux mother’s people. Indeed, like Caleb himself, Analisa lived somewhere between two cultures.