Sunflower (12 page)

His thirst for her slaked for the time being, Caleb lifted himself onto his elbows to spare Analisa his weight. He gathered handfuls of her golden hair and pressed his face against it. Analisa lay watching him closely.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“The pleasure was all mine.”

“Not entirely all.”

He smiled into her eyes, let go of her hair and pressed a quick, loud kiss on her lips. “Now we swim.”

“But, Mr. Storm,” she began, a teasing smile on her lips, “you promised you would not swim nude.”

“That was hours ago. Besides, how was I to know then that you would make me take off my clothes ... not to mention yours?”

Analisa blushed crimson.

“Up.”

When he stood and offered her his hand, Analisa was surprised at her calm acceptance of his nudity. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to see Caleb standing unclothed, surrounded by the sun-dappled leaves and trees. It was her own nakedness that made her uneasy, but as she looked down at her body, so rarely uncovered, she was secretly pleased that her muscles were firm and her skin smooth.

She started to laugh when she saw her pantalets looped about one ankle and noticed that she was still wearing her thick socks. She owned no silken hose or ruffled garters.

Caleb turned from where he walked a few paces ahead of her and smiled at the sound of her laughter.

“Sokken,”
she explained and waved him on toward the water. She quickly stripped off the socks and wrapped the calico cloth around her, securing it across her breasts. At the edge of the shallow stream she called out to Caleb. “I cannot swim.”

“Well, you can’t drown in here! Wade on over here.” He was sitting submerged up to his chest in a shallow pool in the center of the stream. Watching Analisa as she dropped the cloth and carefully picked her way across the slippery rocks to his side, he smiled at the change in her. Her eyes were shining for him, her cheeks tinted with a warm blush. His plan had been to leave her and return to Washington until they had time to decide what feelings they had for each other. What if he were to take her with him? An idea began to formulate in his thoughts until he remembered Kase and Edvard. There was no way he could ready the three of them and arrive in the East in time to report to Parker.

“Caleb?” She was next to him now, seated precariously on a submerged rock.

“I’m sorry, I was thinking.” He dropped his thoughts of leaving for a time. “How do you like it?”

“I thought it was wonderful,” she answered honestly and felt her cheeks flush.

Caleb put an arm about her shoulders and drew her to him before he whispered in her ear, “I meant the swim.”

An embarrassed “Oh” formed on her lips. She splashed at a water bug as it floated lazily past.

They sat for a time, soothed by the cool water. Caleb made a great show of ducking and splashing water over his head and face before Analisa interrupted his sport.

“We must go back. I would hate for Opa to come looking for us. What if he decides to bring Kase fishing?”

“Come here.”

“Please, Caleb.”

“Come here. Please.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Analisa crossed the small distance between them and was again enfolded in his embrace. Her reward was a wet and highly enthusiastic kiss. She dropped her eyes to the smooth, gloss-wet surface of his bronze chest as she struggled to keep her breasts submerged beneath the shimmering water. Bracing the palms of her hands against his shoulders, Analisa held herself away from him, as far as his strong arms would allow, to drink in his features—his dark brows, winged and fine above the azure of his eyes, his straight firm lips curved into a beguiling smile. She let her eyes feast upon his sensual, primitive handsomeness, tracing his lips with her fingers, searching them with her touch as a blind man might, lightly, carefully, getting to know him through her newly awakened sense of touch.

Her life had been turned upside down with the arrival of the pastor and Clara Heusinkveld. Never could she have imagined the overwhelming metamorphosis Caleb’s lovemaking would work on her. Stubborn, independent Analisa Van Meeteren, capable of carving out a life on the vast prairie, suddenly smiled in wonder. Surely what had passed between them was meant to be. How could such a force strike with mere randomness? She had forgotten where they were, who they were, even what the future might bring, while he held her in his arms.

“You’re smiling.” He spoke between kisses as his lips moved over hers.

“Hmmm.”

“The first time I saw you, I was lying in your bed, watching you work at the stove, and I wondered what it would take to make you smile.”

“And?”

“Had I known then, I would have been about it much sooner.”

“Caleb.” She pulled away, all too aware now of where they were and afraid of being discovered by Edvard or Kase. “We have to go back.”

He seemed suddenly grave, his eyes full of concern, his smile fading. Analisa’s deep instincts sent a cold warning along her spine.

“It’s going to be hard for me to leave you tomorrow.”

She began instinctively to draw back into place the sheath that protected her emotions, all the while fighting against her urge to cling to him, to beg him to stay or, at the very least, to take her with him. But he still intended to leave her, despite all that had passed between them in the last hour. Slowly, having developed expert control during long years of practice, Analisa steeled herself against her emotions; Caleb was going away. She had no idea of his destination, nor did she understand the commitment that compelled him to return East. Perhaps another woman waited to welcome his kiss, to awaken to his touch.

Determined to let him go without clinging, she sought to free him from any obligation he might feel toward her because of his hasty offer of marriage. “I want you to know, Caleb, that if you should decide never to come back here again, I will understand.”

He was still for a moment, staring into her eyes as if trying to plumb the depths of her soul. “What do you mean by that?” The words were quiet, calm, but she was forced to look away from the intensity of his stare.

“You have done so much for us already. I know this marriage was impulsive and that you never really thought of marrying me before the minister called. I want you to know how grateful I am for what you did for Kase, and for me and Opa, and I want you to know, too, that I will understand perfectly if you decide that this has all been a mistake.”

“Just like that? What do you propose I do, then, in the event that I do ‘decide this has all been a mistake,’ as you put it?” His words drew her eyes back to lock with his.

She was confused by the dark, quiet anger changing his features, confused by his reaction. Analisa forced a light tone into her voice as she tried to explain. “You could get a divorce. I have no family to object, and your family need never know. I would still be Mrs. Storm to the people of Pella. All they ever wanted was for me to become respectable.”

“How about what just passed between us? How do you explain that away?”

Did his sullen anger mask the hurt she had inflicted on him with her easy release? If he cared so deeply, how was it that he could not postpone his departure? Confused, Analisa tried to explain in a way that would leave him free and her pride intact. “I ... you’ve done so much for me, for all of us. I wanted to give you something in return, that’s all. Caleb, I have nothing else to give.”

“So to show me the depths of your gratitude, you offer to sacrifice yourself once again for the sake of Kase and Edvard?” His words were cutting, cold.

“No. That’s not what I meant. I mean ... if you are in the East and decide that this was all a mistake, I will understand.”

“Are you telling me that if I decide not to bother coming back, that is just fine and dandy with you?”

“Yes.” She hid her pain behind a false smile. “This has all been very sudden. You may regret what you’ve done.”

“Just as you might now be regretting what you’ve done? After all, what you did today was just a way of saying thank you.”

“Yes.” She nodded, not sure why he seemed so angry.

“Next time, why don’t you just say
tanks?”
He was very angry now, but she found he had spoken the truth when he’d said, “I never yell.” She almost wished he would. His cold, contemplative stare would be her undoing.

“Caleb ...”

He pulled himself out of the water and moved across the shallows to the shore, Analisa trailing slowly behind him, her arms extended in order to balance herself on the slippery rocks below the water.

While he brushed the water off of himself with his hands, Analisa dried her body with the calico and then offered it to Caleb. He turned his back to her and began to ram his legs into his britches. Suddenly awkward, embarrassed by their nudity, Analisa dressed hurriedly. By the time she was ready, he was moving through the cotton woods in the direction of the soddie. She grabbed the basket and hurried after him.

If he thought she would chase him all the way to the house, he was mistaken, she decided, but she proceeded to do just that. He slowed his steps until she caught up with him, but as they crossed the open prairie side by side, he remained ominously silent.

“Caleb, I don’t understand your anger.” Panting from the effort of matching his long strides, Analisa tugged at his arm to slow him down. Caleb stopped walking long enough to turn seething blue eyes in her direction and grab her arm above the elbow.

“Let me see if I have this straight. I ask you to marry me in order to give Kase a name. To pay me back for such a sacrifice, you make love to me today, and now, debt free, you release me until such time as I decide to return. If I choose not to return, I’m to obtain a divorce, and my decision doesn’t matter to you in the least. Is that correct?”

“I think so, but when I form the words in my mind, they don’t sound as bad as you make them seem. Perhaps I have not said it correctly?”

“No, lady, for once I think you’ve said it pretty damn straight. I was just fool enough to think for a while back there that this might work out.”

“Are you angry because you don’t think I enjoyed what happened between us today?”

“Ha!” He started to walk away again, his words drifting over his shoulder. “No, you don’t have to ask that. I may be a fool, but I do know that you enjoyed our little romp as much as or more than I did.”

“Romp?” The word was strange to her. “More than you did?” She was hurt to think he had not shared the passion she felt.

“Oh, that stings, does it? Good.” But he felt far from good about his harsh words.

Caleb had not known he’d possessed such deep feelings before she had shaken him to the core with her cool dismissal. Had he taken the time to think instead of react, he would have seen her as the actress she had become, able to hide her most intense emotion from the world behind a stolid, collected exterior. What had he expected, after all? Did he want her to beg him not to go? All he knew for certain was that he had to get far away from the bewitching picture she now made, flushed and satiated in the soft rose gown, and sort out his feelings. Love? He thought not. At least he never thought of love as this gut-wrenching, overwhelming uneasiness. Lust was more like it. Perhaps she was right. It was time he left to report to Parker and clear the slate. Then he could decide exactly what his feelings were for this strange girl.

They were marching now, Caleb’s boot heels digging into the ragged buffalo grass beside Analisa’s own pounding steps. She wasn’t sure exactly why they were so angry with each other. She hadn’t expected Caleb to be hurt by her attempt to release him from his obligation to her. If she told him now that she would die a little each day until he returned, would it make a difference to him? She doubted it, and decided not to further humiliate herself by doing so.

When they reached the back gate, he held it open until she passed through and then slammed it shut behind them. He moved beside her as far as the shed, then stepped inside to saddle Scorpio and retrieve his rifle. She stopped walking and stood still, holding the basket in front of her with both hands. When she realized his intentions, she let the basket drop to the ground beside her and moved toward him.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s plenty of daylight left. I can get to Pella tonight. If there’s no train, I can head up to Des Moines and catch one tomorrow. Seeing as how I’m leaving, it doesn’t matter where I sleep tonight, does it? I can be on the east-bound train by tomorrow noon if I get going.” He slapped Scorpio’s reins against his thigh with impatience and watched while Analisa straightened her shoulders as he’d seen her do in so many tight situations. Too bad her hair was unpinned, he thought; ordinarily she’d be trying to smooth it up into place.

Finally she spoke. “Good-bye, Caleb Storm. I will not say thank you, as it seems to make you angry.”

“I’ll write you.”

She nodded, unbelieving.

He reached deep into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a handful of gold coins. “Here. See that you have everything you need for the winter.” He dropped five twenty-dollar gold pieces into her hand.

Shaking her head, the golden mass of hair shimmering in the late afternoon sunlight, she was about to protest when Kase ran up to join them. Caleb’s words tore at her insides. She was to get what she needed for the winter. He would not be coming back.

“Where are you going, Caleb?” Kase looked up at him with curiosity, his blue eyes bright. “Can I go with you?”

Caleb hunkered down and ran his hand over Kase’s blue-black hair. Seeing Caleb’s solemn expression, Kase put his hand on the man’s shoulder. Analisa looked away, her heart constricting at the sight of them.

“I have to go back east, to the city I came from, but I’ll send you a big surprise for Christmas.”

“Do you have to go?”

Caleb looked up over the boy’s head at his mother. “Yes.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

Pulling the boy to him, Caleb gave Kase a ferocious growling bear-hug that helped to ease his own sadness. The hug made Caleb think of his father and the many times Clinton Storm had comforted him. Without touching Analisa again, he swung himself up onto Scorpio’s back and tipped the brim of his dark hat to Analisa. Then, without further ceremony, he rode toward the back gate and his camp near the stream.