Sunset: 4 (Sunrise) (20 page)

Bailey nodded slowly. “That’s what I’ve been thinking. I mean, I’d love to go to New York City and audition for a show; you know, dance every day for a living. But until then, I’m probably going to stay here. I got my acceptance a month ago.”

“Really?” Tim didn’t hide his excitement. “To IU?”

“Yes.” She laughed at his reaction. “Like half the kids around here.”

Bailey had talked about college with her parents shortly after New Year’s, and they’d all agreed that IU was her best option for now. It was a major university with all the right degrees and opportunities, and it would allow her to live at home instead of in a dorm. At the same time she would continue with voice and dance lessons and watch for auditions in New York City so when the time was right, she could take a shot at the dreams that were beginning to take shape for her.

But Tim didn’t ask about any of that. He seemed happy enough to hear that she was probably staying in Bloomington. At least for now.

By the time they finished their ice cream and Tim took her home, it was a few minutes before midnight.

“Well—” he put his arm around her shoulders as they walked up to her front door—“I got you home before twelve.”

“Yeah . . .” Her voice was soft, and she felt the same shyness from earlier again. They stopped just before the entryway. “Wanna come in?”

“I better not.” Tim took a step closer, and his eyes sparkled with the reflection of the full moon. “I have to study for finals.”

Bailey nodded. “Are they pretty intense?”

“Very.” He chuckled and slid his hands into his pants pockets. “Nothing like high school.”

She tried to think of something to say in response, but his eyes distracted her and in a heartbeat she knew what was about to happen. He was going to kiss her! Tim was going to kiss her good night right here on her front porch beneath a sky full of springtime stars.

He took another step closer and brought his hands up to either side of her face. “You know what?”

“What?” Bailey couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think or move or analyze what was happening. He was so near all she could do was listen to him take his next breath.

“I used to wonder what it felt like to fall . . . you know, really fall.”

She felt dizzy, and she leaned a little against his hands to steady herself. “And?”

Tim looked deep into her eyes. “Now I know.” He pulled her slowly into his arms and hugged her for a long time. As he did, she circled her arms around his waist and wondered if he could feel her racing heart. Then, as he pulled slightly back, he brought his lips to hers, and for the sweetest few seconds, he kissed her. Not a kiss of passion or desperation but a kiss that told her he meant what he’d said. He was falling for her, the same way she was falling for him.

As he moved back, there were more stars in his eyes than in the whole expanse of sky above them. “I’ll call you this weekend.”

She folded her arms to ward off the chill his absence left behind. “I . . . I had a great time tonight.”

Tim paused, and his face lit up in a smile. “Me too.”

Before Bailey could think of a way to make him stay longer, he got into his car and pulled away.

When he was gone, she went in and found her parents in the kitchen. They were sitting side by side at the bar, drinking coffee. Whatever they’d been talking about, the atmosphere felt casual, and Bailey knew they’d waited up for her.

“So . . .” Her mom smiled at her. “By the look on your face I don’t have to ask how it went.”

Bailey pulled up the first open barstool and grinned. “It was amazing.”

“How amazing?” Her dad took on a mock look of concern.

“Don’t worry.” Bailey stifled a giggle. “We’re not engaged or anything.”

Her dad sighed. “That’s good. Because you can’t get married for another ten years. At least.”

“Daaad.” Bailey made a silly face at him. “You worry too much.”

“Only when my little girl’s heart is on the line.”

Her mom put an arm around her dad’s shoulders. “Never mind your father. He gets crazy when he thinks about you on a date with any guy.” She kissed his cheek. “Even Tim.”

They all laughed, and Bailey told them about the night, about the dance instructor and learning the different steps and how the hours had melted away. This was a tradition she’d had since she was very young, sharing everything that mattered with her parents, especially her mom. It helped her sort through her feelings to share them this way. Never mind that most of the kids at school did their best to avoid their parents. Bailey would always consider them her closest friends.

When they were done talking, Bailey headed upstairs, and after washing her face and brushing her teeth, she studied herself in the mirror. There was something different about her eyes, her expression. She stepped back and angled her face. Was this how it looked to be falling in love?

Is Tim the one, God? Is this the beginning of something that could last for always?
Often when she talked to God she could hear His response—either she’d feel a gentle nudging toward one direction or another or a Scripture verse would come to mind. But tonight, the question that hung alongside the stars in the night sky of her soul was met with no answer.

She fell asleep thinking about Tim and the dance, but her dreams were of a football receiver dressed in a dirty army uniform and running from a pack of angry Iraqi insurgents. She woke up gasping for air, Cody’s face as vivid in her mind as if he were standing in front of her. She lay there in bed, wondering why that had happened. Why after a perfect date with Tim did she spend the night having terrible dreams about Cody?

Adrenaline rushed through her veins, and she had the urge to find her mother and let her know that something was wrong with Cody. Otherwise why was he so strongly on her mind? She was about to climb out of bed when her bedroom door opened and her mom walked in. Bailey bolted up in bed, her eyes wide.

Only then did she realize how upset and serious her mom looked, and suddenly Bailey wondered if she was still in the dream, if all she had to do was wake up and she’d be back in that happy place where she was last night after saying good-bye to Tim.

“Mom?” Bailey swung her legs over the edge of the mattress, her heart pounding. “It’s Cody, isn’t it?”

Her mom wrinkled her brow and slowly sat on the corner of Bailey’s bed. “Did . . . did you hear my conversation?”

“No.” Bailey swallowed hard. Her heartbeat was so fast and hard she could barely talk. “I . . . I dreamed about him, that he was running from someone.”

Her mother’s expression told Bailey that the dream and the news she was bringing were somehow connected. She put her hand on Bailey’s knee, never breaking eye contact. “They found him.”

“Cody?” Bailey let out a cry, but she didn’t dare breathe. Not until she heard the other details. Her words tumbled out in a pinched whisper. “He’s alive, right? He has to be alive!”

“He is.” Her face looked pale, and fear left a shadow over her eyes. “He escaped his captors and was running toward a convoy of U.S. troops when he was shot.”

Shot? Cody was shot?
Bailey squeezed her eyes shut and tipped her head back.
No, not Cody.
She couldn’t stop herself from picturing him lying on some Iraqi street. Her breathing came faster, and she opened her eyes, desperate for some sort of news she could hold on to. “How bad is it?”

“I don’t know.” Her mom’s eyes welled up. “He was rescued by two U.S. soldiers, but he lost a lot of blood. His mom said the situation was critical.”

“No!” The word came out as a single cry. Cody was just here, just standing in their doorway hugging her brothers and her parents and telling her good-bye. He was promising that he’d be back soon and that everything would be okay. He couldn’t be critical. Panic scrambled her thoughts, and she fought for clarity. “What else?”

“That’s really it.” Her mom hung her head for a moment. “We’ll know more in a few days, I guess.” She met Bailey’s eyes again. “If . . . if everything goes okay, he’ll be flown back to Washington state, where he’s based, and stay there until he’s well enough to come home.”

“Until when?” Bailey felt sick to her stomach.

“His mom said six weeks. Maybe longer.”

There was only one thing left to do. “Pray with me, Mom. Please.”

They held hands and her mom started, asking God to use His healing touch on Cody and to spare his life from the injuries. She thanked Him that Cody had escaped and asked that they might have peace and patience as they waited for further word.

Bailey prayed next, and as she did Cody’s face was there again, clearly in her mind the way it had been when the two of them walked through the forest behind the Flanigan house. She also asked God to heal Cody and to bring him back home. “Soon, God . . . please bring him home soon.”

When they finished, she and her mom hugged for a long time. Only after her mother had gone back downstairs and Bailey was left alone in her room did she realize something that told her much about her true feelings. Hours after one of the best dates in her life, news about Cody’s injuries should’ve saddened and shocked her and left her desperately praying for him. After all, Cody was one of her closest friends. But the feelings she had now went beyond concern for an injured friend. She had a longing for Cody like nothing she’d ever known before.

And that longing made her doubt everything she’d felt just twelve hours ago.

Even if last night was practically perfect.

With two months left in her pregnancy, Ashley felt bigger than a house. Her fears about this baby had eased, even if they hadn’t completely disappeared. It was the last Saturday in May, and in a few hours she and her sisters would meet at Kari’s house for Elaine’s wedding shower.

Ashley stretched her lower back and made her way around the edges of their bed, pulling up the sheets and straightening the blue and white comforter. She and Landon and the boys were about to walk to the park, and she didn’t want to leave the room messy.

She smiled to herself as she fluffed up the pillows. Funny, with Sarah she hadn’t noticed any of the usual aspects of being pregnant. Not the largeness or the sore back or her tendency to straighten and organize that had come with her other babies.

With Sarah the nine months were all about enjoying her while there was still time. Every day had brought them closer to her birth, closer to her death. So Ashley’s focus had been entirely on the baby inside her and not on her own changing body. This time was more normal, something Ashley was grateful for. Though she enjoyed feeling her little boy move about inside her, she was anxious for his birth.

“You about ready?” Landon poked his head in through their bedroom door. He wore a baseball cap, shorts, and a T-shirt. “The boys are ready to bust the door down.”

“Almost.” She straightened and stretched her back once more. “I’m feeling it today.”

“I bet.” His tone was tender. “The humidity’s got to be at 70 percent.”

It had rained the last four days straight but not today. The temperature was supposed to rise above eighty, and sometime late this evening thunderstorms were predicted. But for now it was sunshine and blue skies, even with the humidity. The boys weren’t the only ones itching to get out of the house.

She found a loose maternity top and struggled into a pair of stretch shorts and white Keds.

Devin no longer needed his stroller on walks to the park, so today he and Cole held hands and stayed a few feet in front of Ashley and Landon.

Landon put his arm around her waist and slowed his pace to hers. “Is he moving much?”

“Earlier.” The heat was making her forehead damp, and she dabbed at it with the back of her hand. “It’s hard to tell when I’m walking. I think the motion usually lulls him to sleep.”

Landon shifted the bag of sports gear up a little higher on his shoulder. “I have a feeling he’ll be a lot like Cole. Curious and full of life.” Landon lifted his face toward the sun and breathed in deep. “We’re so blessed. You know?”

“We are.” Ashley no longer felt the twinge of sadness that this baby was a boy and not a girl. No one could’ve replaced Sarah anyway.

They reached the park, and the boys gathered around the sports bag Landon had been carrying. Inside was a wooden bat for Cole and a plastic Wiffle bat for Devin, along with a few baseballs and Wiffle balls. Cole was playing Little League this spring, and his coach had nominated him for the local all-star team. They agreed that Landon would pitch to Cole twenty yards away, and Ashley would pitch to Devin.

She took Devin by the hand, and when they were a safe distance apart, she tossed him a series of pitches with the lightweight plastic balls. He hit nearly all of them, and a few went to the place where Landon and Cole were playing.

“Hey!” Landon grinned at Devin. “You’re a little slugger!”

“He learned it from me.” Cole thrust his chest out. “Right, Dad? He learned it from me!”

“He must’ve.” Landon laughed and caught Ashley’s eye. “His humility too.”

“What?” Cole cupped his hand around his ear.

“Nothing.” Landon flashed a grin at Ashley. “Let’s gather up the balls, and I’ll pitch another round.”

The hour went by quickly, and Ashley couldn’t help but see the scene the way it would look a year from now when she’d have her third son in a stroller. Would he love sports, or would he have a passion for singing and theater like the kids at CKT? Or would he enjoy doing both, the way Cole did? Maybe he’d be a math whiz or a science kid. Whatever God had planned for him, He was working out the details day by day, knitting her baby boy together inside her.

They got home with enough time for Ashley to get ready for Elaine’s shower. It was at two o’clock, and afterward, she planned to spend an hour at her dad’s house working on the painting, the one that was still so strong in her heart. The images were taking shape a little more every time she worked on it. The two women showing a great connection with each other as they walked the path ahead of them. She was nearly finished now, which was good because the image was always on her mind.

Ashley stepped into the warm shower and let the water wash away her strange sadness. This was a day of celebration, one she needed to embrace. She closed her eyes and pictured the gift she’d bought Elaine. Much thought had gone into choosing the contents of the wrapped box sitting on her kitchen counter. In the end, she’d decided to give Elaine a set of beautiful etched wooden frames. In the card, Ashley had written a letter telling Elaine how God had brought her into their lives. The frames, Ashley wrote, were so that her dad and Elaine could start filling their new home with the memories they’d make together as a couple.

All week leading up to this afternoon, every time Ashley thought about the party, she checked her emotions. “I’m really okay about this,” she’d told Landon a few times. “My dad’s fiancée is having her wedding shower this weekend, and I’m handling it.”

But as Ashley finished her shower and slipped into a pale floral maternity dress, as she found the right shoes and blow-dried her hair, she felt the familiar doubt creeping back. She was halfway to Kari’s house when she realized that what she was feeling wasn’t doubt but sorrow. The deep sorrow that still came with missing her mom. Strange, because after her mother’s death, a well-meaning family friend had told her something at the funeral that had stuck: “The pain will lessen with time.”

The sentiment was something Ashley had heard echoed several times in the years since, but so far it hadn’t held even a slight bit of truth. Not for her, anyway. There was the initial grief and shock after her mother was gone and buried. The realization that she would never walk through the door again, never join them around the table for a family dinner. Never hold her grandchildren again. But then a different type of sadness hit. The knowing that without a determination to hold tight to yesterday, the ever-pressing tide of the present would wash away the vividness of every beautiful memory.

And something more. The understanding about what a long time it had been since she’d felt her mother’s touch or heard her voice and what a long time it would be until they would hear or feel her that way again in heaven. All of that combined made for an aching loss that sometimes felt stronger than ever.

Ashley focused on the road. That’s what she was feeling today, nothing but the usual sadness over missing her mother and the knowing that came with it. Especially on a day like this one, when there would be no need for a wedding shower for her father’s fiancée if only her mother were still alive.

A sigh rattled up from Ashley’s heart. Elaine was wonderful. There was no reason to arrive at the party feeling less than happy about her father’s pending marriage. She focused instead on her baby and all she still had to do to ready the nursery for his arrival. By the time she parked in front of Kari’s house, her sadness was tucked away in its proper place, in the basement of her soul.

Kari met her at the door, and after a hug her eyes lit up. “Did I tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Ashley set her gift down on a table near the entrance.

“About Angela.” Excitement brimmed in Kari’s voice. “She gave her life to the Lord. She’s not the person she was. Seriously.”

Ashley stared at her sister for a moment. How could she and Kari even be related? Kari was so much kinder than she was. “I don’t know how you do it, meeting with the woman your husband had an affair with.” She leaned against the cool wood-paneled wall and caught her breath. “I couldn’t handle it.”

“If God asked you to handle it, you would. I know you, Ash.”

She wasn’t sure, but she smiled at Kari and shrugged. “You’re my hero. Let’s just leave it at that.” She hugged her sister again. “Is everyone here?”

“Brooke’s running a few minutes late. Elaine and Katy are in the living room. Reagan can’t come. Tommy’s sick.” She dropped her voice. “I’m glad we’re doing this. I think it means the world to Elaine.”

Ashley smiled at Kari. “I agree. It was a good idea.”

They were still standing by the front door when Brooke arrived, and the three of them joined the others in the next room. Ashley and Brooke took turns hugging Elaine and Katy. Once the greetings were finished, Kari announced that it was time to eat. She’d made tortilla roll-ups and fruit salad for the occasion, and after they’d filled their plates, they used the next half hour to catch up on the latest news.

“My kids and their families will definitely be here for the wedding.” Elaine looked pleased. “My daughter wanted to be here today also. She sends her love.”

Ashley crossed her legs at the ankles and adjusted her plate on her knees. That was something else she didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about. The fact that after her father married Elaine she’d have stepsiblings. She smiled at Elaine. “Tell them we’re glad they’ll be here for the ceremony.”

Brooke put her fork down and let out a gasp. “I almost forgot. Dad called me on my way here. He has an offer on the house. He asked us to pray that this time it wouldn’t fall through.”

Ashley stared at her half-eaten lunch and felt herself lose her appetite. It was bound to happen, of course. In fact, the sale of the house
needed
to happen for her dad and Elaine to afford the new house they’d bought. But still the news landed like a couple of bricks in her stomach.

“I understand you and John have found a place.” Katy was still able to cross her legs. She looked much smaller than Ashley. At least it felt that way. The two of them had gotten even closer during their pregnancies, talking often about the physical changes they were going through and allowing themselves to dream about the future, the way Ashley had done with Kari before she learned Sarah’s diagnosis.

Katy’s question sparked a description from Elaine. “It’s a farmhouse, smaller than the one he’s in now and with much less land. Just half an acre, enough so we can plant a vegetable garden.”

Ashley tried to embrace the image. “That’s nice.”

“It’s closer to town and not far from the university. All that and it’s just a short walk to the park.” She smiled, and a warmth filled her eyes. “We plan to do a lot of walking.”

This was the part about Elaine that Ashley loved most. She would keep their father happy and healthy, bringing him the friendship and companionship he deserved in the next few decades of his life. They were both healthy and fit, and they shared the same interests. Truly Elaine was a gift from God, nothing less.

As lunch wound down, Kari explained that rather than play shower games, they would go around the room and talk about their own love stories and what God had taught them through the journey of time. “We thought it would be good to remind ourselves of how important marriage is to each of us and maybe help you get to know us a little better at the same time.”

Elaine’s expression held gratitude for Kari and each of them. “I think it sounds wonderful.”

Brooke went first. She talked about meeting Peter in medical school and how at first they seemed too competitive for each other. “Actually, that problem followed us into our marriage. Before Hayley’s near drowning, some of Peter’s feelings about me came to the surface. He really questioned my ability as a doctor.” Her eyes held some of the pain of that time in her life. “After Hayley’s accident, God worked out all those feelings. Peter finally realized we weren’t in competition, and it was possible for both of us to be good at what we’re gifted to do. Every time I look at Hayley, I’m reminded of the healing God’s done in our lives—not just for our daughter but for our marriage.” She paused and met Ashley’s eyes. “I guess God’s taught me that miracles don’t always look the way we expect them to look. But that doesn’t make them any less miraculous.”

“I knew some of those details but not all of them. Not the deeper pieces about your marriage.” Elaine looked at Brooke with a genuine sincerity. “Thanks for telling me.”

Brooke nodded and took a sip of her iced tea. “Who’s next?”

“I’ll go.” Katy set her plate down on the table next to her side of the sofa. “My story’s sort of obvious. The tabloids captured most of it.”

“And none of it.” Ashley smiled. “They never really knew either of you.”

“They didn’t, I guess.” Katy talked about seeing Dayne for the first time and the adventure that followed. It took several minutes before she reached the part about meeting up at the theater the day before last Christmas. “In the weeks before that I was pretty sure we were finished.” She put her hands on her round belly. “But God had other plans.”

“You could write a book with all He’s taught you over the last few years.” Kari pulled her knees up onto the chair where she was sitting. “Wouldn’t you say?”