Sunset Thunder (15 page)

“It’s not the Bensen wedding,” she clarified and her tone convinced him.

He nodded and waited patiently for her answer.

Oh, just tell him. Oh, I don’t want to. Oh, spit it out.

“I’m attracted to Ryder Carlex.” The words flew out of her mouth before she could double-think it.

Marc’s face fell open in surprise, total, complete, and utter shock at the declaration. “What?”

Violet continued. “And he’s attracted to me. At least, I think he’s attracted to me. By think, I mean he acts like he’s interested in going out together. Like a date. He actually asked me on a date, flat out, there was no confusion. But then does he really want to date me? Or is it just him and Joel playing mind games? In case you missed it, Joel has never been discreet on his feelings for me. Especially after the divorce. Anyway...” She twisted her lips. “I don’t know. Shouldn’t I be able to tell the difference?” She rambled everything so fast that she hadn’t noticed the look on Marc’s face, trying to keep up with her, until she stopped to look at him, expecting answers.

Marc opened his mouth and then shut it. He squinted his eyes, looked away from Violet for a quick second and when he looked back there was more confusion across his face.

“I did not see that coming,” he admitted. It was an answer Violet had also not seen coming. 

Violet groaned and covered her face with her hands.

Why did she say anything?

The look on Marc’s face told her what her mind had been telling her all day,
she was crazy
.

“I know, it’s crazy. I’m crazy. I’m Izzy crazy, right? You can tell me the truth, your opinion, what you think of the situation. I can handle it. I need a snap of harsh reality because look at me.”

She dropped her hands and waved over the madness she had become.

“Oh gosh, just listen to me. I’m rambling.
I am rambling
.” It sounded awful.

“Yes, you are rambling,” he admitted.

“Rambling over a guy. Over dating a guy.” Violet lowered her voice to a whisper, as though someone was within ear’s reach. “Not just any guy, Joel’s friend. Isn’t that worse than Izzy? See what happens when you send a girl to private school...she misses out on feelings of lust and becomes an adolescent fool. In front of her brother.”

Hit me over the head and let me sleep this off!

Marc was smirking at her.

“What?” If her children had asked her that word in that tone, she would have knocked them back a week.

“Rambling, with a glimmer of happiness in your eyes. A spark of impulse and drive that has nothing to do with work, but instead life. It’s refreshing to see those qualities in you,” Marc said.

Violet pressed her lips tightly together, hoping to extinguish the glimmer and spark.
Glimmer and spark. What was wrong with her?
 

“However, considering the basis of this topic, I’m not sure I’m suited for the conversation,” Marc said. 

He was the most suited. “Marc, just tell me I’m crazy and behaving inadequately.”

“I don’t think you are doing either of those things.”

He had no idea what she’d done in the lobby washroom and what her crazy inadequate actions were creating every time she was around Ryder.

“We can’t keep our hands off each other,” she told him, then realized how immoral that sounded after spending the day with Sophia and Parker and rushed to give him details. “Not in an inappropriate way around the kids. Never around the kids. It’s not like that.” 

“Violet, I don’t doubt you’re not putting your children first.”

“But when we’re alone, it’s like we have magnets strapped to our bodies.
And the looks
. We have looks. Serious, deep, lustful desire-filled looks.” 

Marc looked uncomfortable. Good, that was what she was going for. Now he would tell her to snap out of it. Lord knew if their father was alive, he would have been more than ready to tell her to act her age, behave appropriately like a Caliendo.

“Again, not sure I’m suited.” 

Violet groaned. “Why did you ask then?” she snapped. “And why did you make me tea? And wait up for me? And press me to share!”

“Because I thought you were having Bensen wedding issues,” he said in his defense. 

“I’m not. Why do you people not listen to me? I don’t care about the Bensen wedding.” 

“I can see that. Apparently you have other thoughts on the mind. Lust and desire-filled thoughts.” 

Violet hit her smirking brother. “Shut up.” She didn’t remember feeling so out of control in years. 

The last time was when she was pregnant with Parker and her cravings for deep fried pickles were more than she could handle...and now the thought of deep fried pickles just brought her back to Ryder.

Marc brushed off her light hit with a chuckle. “Ryder brings out the good old Violet in you,” he said. 

Violet grew serious at his statement, not sure if she should take it as praise or insult. “What’s wrong with the now Violet?” 

Marc touched her arm resting on the counter. “I have been gone for a lot of years,” he started, bringing up his six-year absence.

Until their father’s sickness, Marc had travelled south working as a manager in other resorts, spiting his father by not proceeding in the profession he had studied. When Robert fell ill, Marc felt obligated to return and now he was back for good.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you now, Vi,” he said. “But you’ve shut yourself away from happiness. It didn’t start when Joel left you either. It was before your rushed marriage to Joel. Something in you changed and you withdrew a little from all of us.”

Violet had no idea Marc felt this way.

Did all her family feel her disconnection from them?

“I don’t know what happened Violet, but it was as though you thought maybe you didn’t deserve to smile anymore. I am not saying that you don’t smile or that you’re not happy and wonderful, especially with Parker and Sophia. They are lucky to have a mother who loves them as much as you do and you are amazing with them. I’m saying you lost the extra in your smile, in your laughter, and you pulled away. It’s not a bad thing, I pulled away too when my heart was broken...or for you the opportunity of finding love was crushed.” 

Violet’s body stilled and everything inside her went numb. Her rambling, her sharing, and the way her mouth seemed to flow tonight changed.

Marc knew? Marc knew!
If Marc knew, who else knew?

“Dad told you didn’t he?” She hadn’t intended for it to come out as angry as she sounded, but her father’s betrayal brought that side out in her.

“Violet...” The way Marc said her name she knew Robert had told him the truth about her marriage to Joel.

Damn it.
It was nobody’s business. It wasn’t a discussion she wanted to have or a road she even wanted to step her pinky toe on.

Violet stood up and walked away from Marc.

If her father wasn’t dead, she would strangle him herself. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it with Robert when he was alive on his death bed, and she certainly didn’t want to talk to Marc about it now. 

“Don’t lie to me Marc, or try to sugar-coat it. Unless there’s a file floating around...” Violet gasped, turning to face him. “Does Dad have a file on me?”

It shouldn’t surprise Violet that the selfish bastard had a file on her. He had a file on everyone! And not a normal thumb drive file either. No, he had manila folders with print out after print out of everyone he ever screwed over and right now she wondered if Marc or Eliza had found one about her, or had Robert simply told Marc.

“Did you read it?” she asked.

“No. I haven’t seen a file about you. Robert told me on his dying bed. You wouldn’t talk to him.” 

Violet was pacing and stopped at Marc, who had also stood up. “Do you blame me?” Robert was awful and what was the point in dragging up the past. It didn’t change what happened.

“No.”

“Did he tell you that he forced,
forced...”
she repeated the word so there was no misunderstanding. “...me to marry Joel because I was pregnant with Sophia?” 

Marc’s defense fell to sympathy. “Yes.” 

“Then I guess you’re lucky Carl’s your real dad. He would never force you to do anything.” 

Marc drew serious. “Robert was my dad as long as he was yours. And he threatened Kate and her family if she didn’t leave and abort our baby,” he reminded her. “I’m just thankful Kate couldn’t go through with it or we wouldn’t have Rosemary today.”

That was so much worse than her marriage to Joel. 

Violet’s angry shoulder’s dropped. “You’re right. You win.”

She turned away and collapsed on the couch in the living room. She was overtired, confused and not thinking straight. Having any conversation tonight was going to lead nowhere.

Marc sat beside her. “It’s not a contest. And one of our feelings are not more important than the other. Violet, he told me because he wanted you to forgive him, to forgive yourself and open your heart back up to the possibility of finding the happiness he stole from you.” 

“He didn’t deserve forgiveness.”

“I don’t know what that man deserved. If he was alive today, I would drill my fist into his face for taking Kate and Rosemary away from me all those years. But he’s not here and we can’t change the past. However we can live now. Mend his mistakes. Mend our lives and the repercussions of his actions.”

Why was Violet even still mad at her father? It was over ten years ago and after the way she rebelled against him and purposely dragged Joel, who her father disliked, into her family’s life, maybe she deserved to suffer a marriage with him for not being more careful.

“Maybe take a step and fall in love.” Marc nudged her side. “Real lust, desire, can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other, love.” Marc shuttered and made a face. “Images. Images,” he said. 

Violet laughed. “Oh, stop it.” 

“I say listen to your heart Violet and go for it.” 

Go for it?
“But Ryder Carlex?” That was the question of the week.

“What’s wrong with Ryder Carlex?” Marc asked, as if he hadn’t been present when Emma mentioned the dress incident.

“Plenty. He’s Joel’s friend and his best man...again,” Violet pointed out.  

“And he tried to get up Emma’s dress at your wedding.” Violet heard the teasing in his tone. 

“Not helpful.” 

“I’m just giving you the pros and the cons. But Violet, listen to your heart. When Kate came back, after everything she’d done to me, I told myself to stay the hell away from her. She had crushed my heart and I knew that she had the power to do it again. But even after all my years of hating her for disappearing without a word, when I saw her...my heart told me she was the one. It didn’t matter what my head said, because my heart knew better.” 

“My heart’s never had good practice. What if my heart is wrong? What if Ryder’s using me? What if he and Joel are coming up with this elaborate plan to humiliate me?” 

“First of all, elaborate and Joel do not exactly go together.”

Violet would have laughed if exhaustion hadn’t claimed her body. Her body wasn’t going to make it to her bedroom. The couch was feeling comfortable and satisfying.

“Secondly, take a pause from your reasoning and listen to your heart. It will tell you.”

Listen to her heart.
She was too tired to even dip into that tonight, fearing she wouldn’t be able to separate the feelings in her heart from her desire. She would deal with this in the morning.  

THE BENSEN WEDDING was creeping up fast.
Too fast.
In less than two weeks, only twelve days away, a gorgeous Saturday morning...yes Violet had checked the weather...Joel and Missy would be wed in the gold ballroom.

Monday evening, two days after spending the day on Ryder’s yacht, Violet had an appointment with the Bensen bride and groom. They needed their last sit-down to summarize the final decisions and make necessary changes, if any.

It was perfect with Parker and Sophia at Kate and Marc’s suite, playing with Rosemary and knowing Ryder wouldn’t be present. After a week of I-can’t-get-my-mind-off-of-Ryder Carlex, Violet wasn’t ready to face him. Her so called
trusted heart
, as Marc had told her to follow, flip-flopped all over, depending on her mood.

What did Ryder want from her?

Violet couldn’t answer that question, and she knew the only way to know what his true intentions were, was to ask Ryder himself.

Did he still want to go on a date with her, after she’d called him a womanizer and accused him of using her? Or had she been accurate and he was only interested in one night stands? Or was he using her as a pawn in a game that Joel created?

Wasn’t that a bit of a stretch? But was it?

After Violet had witnessed what her father was capable of, the fact Ryder could be using her wasn’t that much of a stretch. The larger stretch was if he wasn’t planning on using her...if he liked her as much as she liked him.

Did Ryder want a relationship with her?

All those questions needed to be answered, but before she asked Ryder a single one, there was a pressing question in which Violet had to determine the answer. It was the only question Ryder couldn’t answer for her.

Was Violet ready for a relationship?

Just the thought of a relationship and all it entailed terrified her. Dating again and opening herself up to another person, giving them the power to hurt her was a whole new round of frightening emotions. The decision wasn’t easy, and trying to decide whether to let someone...not just someone, Ryder...into her life, into her heart, into her soul wasn’t a question she could answer in only two days.

Violet felt a headache coming on. 

The sides of her hair were pulled into a tight bun, urging on her throbbing temples. She pulled her hair loose and her wispy bangs fell, framing her oval face.

The throbbing continued. She settled her face in her hands, elbows on her desk, and wished she hadn’t made any appointments this evening so she could go home early to the slumber of her bed.

She was a mess.

Violet clenched her jaw in disgust. A mess which included the bun she’d just ripped out, a meeting with Joel and Missy in a short time, and Ryder popping into her thoughts like bubbles bursting with alarm all through her at the same time. The rush was incredible.

Violet abandoned her desk, stood in front of the mirror on the back of her office door and started gathering up her hair.
No excitement. No alarm. No Ryder
. She had a job to do today and−

Violet’s office door opened swiftly, before she had a chance to secure her hair, and slammed into her lifted elbow.  

Ouch!

Violet dropped her locks and rubbed her funny bone, which wasn’t funny at all, shooting horrible, painful, tingling pain instead through her elbow and up her arm. 

Izzy peered her head around the door, a mop of blonde hair pulled into a messy bun right on top of her head. Her manicured fingers gripped the side of the door and she sent Violet a quizzical look across her flawless face, that made her look even years younger than her early twenties. It didn’t matter that it was almost eight in the evening, Izzy’s face was always painted with a fresh coat of makeup and bright, ready to take on the day, eyes.

“What are you doing?” Izzy asked, innocently.

Why was she asking what Violet was doing? She was the one not bothering to knock.

“What are
you
doing?” Violet asked.

Izzy ignored her question. “Is Emma here yet?” 

Emma? Here yet? Why?

Violet had an appointment in...she glanced at the clock...twelve minutes, she didn’t have time for sister chat.

“No.” Violet didn’t even ask why. 

Izzy stepped into her office, not bothering to close the door. Izzy’s fingers followed the trail of her dramatic, dark eyes, lined with thick liquid black liner and dug her fingers right through Violet’s hair, ruffling the sides and digging her nails into her scalp to fluff the top.

Violet pulled away, swatting her sister’s hands away
. Boundaries, Izzy, geez.

“Why are you wearing your hair down?” Izzy’s voice was laced with suspicion.

Why would she be suspicious?
Marc was the only Caliendo aware of Violet’s feelings for Ryder and he’d had a difficult enough time talking with her about it, he certainly wouldn’t have talked to the rest of the family...especially not Izzy.

“I’m putting it up,” Violet informed her, pulling the elastic from her wrist, preparing for Izzy to move away from the mirror, so she could see what she was doing.

“You never wear your hair down.” 

Why were they still talking about her hair?
“I’m not wearing it down.”

“I like it down. All wavy and sexy...”

Hair down is sexy? Get it wrapped back up.  

“It softens that hard-ass look you’re always wearing.” 

Hard-ass look?
Violet would give Izzy a hard-ass look for wasting the precious moments she needed to tie her hair back up.

“Like that one right there.” Izzy touched her nose. “And this is cute.” Izzy pulled on the edge of Violet’s dress. “Nice change from the old lady blazers and−” Izzy gasped. “Ryder’s coming here today isn’t he?”

Ryder? Ryder! Why...how...what?

Violet maintained an unfazed look, finding it the most difficult time in her life with the steam of questions bursting to come out. And darn it, another explosion of excitement bubbles went off through her body at the mention of Ryder’s name. 

Why was Izzy bringing up Ryder? How had she even related Ryder to her? And why was she giving her that annoying I-know-something-you don’t-know look? Ugh! 

If Izzy, in fact, knew what Ryder and Violet had done, this conversation would be going in a completely different direction...a naughty and exciting direction.

“Do you have a Bensen appointment today?”

Violet didn’t have the chance to point out her sister that Ryder would not be attending. Izzy rolled her eyes, the distasteful action reminding Violet why she didn’t perform such gestures.

“I still think agreeing to their request is bullshit. I swear he’s getting married here just to get a rouse out of you. Like honestly what a douchebag.” 

Violet would never use that term, but it summed Joel up to perfection.

“I know you’re not letting your hair down and dressing sexy for Joel...” 

Sexy? Did she look sexy? 

Violet caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror again. Above the knees, clingy, soft color, dipping neckline, armless, sexy dress...
oh crap.

Where was her jacket?

Violet moved through her office searching out a jacket, a great distraction to get away from Izzy’s watchful eyes. She had less than ten minutes and she should have been in the foyer early. 

“So this all must be for Ryder Carlex,” Izzy summarized.  

Violet was glad her back was facing Izzy, as she searched around her desk for anything to throw over her shoulders. At the mention of Ryder, Violet’s lips parted and her lungs sucked in the air Izzy’s declaration had extinguished out of her.

How had Izzy figured it out? She couldn’t have. Why was she bringing it up? Where was Emma?! 

Violet regained her composure, gave up her hunt for a jacket and turned to face her sister. She disliked the playful glimmer behind Izzy’s eyes or the way her lips curved mischievously, teasing like the off-the-shoulder lace top that was grazing her skin, just above the low rise ripped denim that hugged her curvy hips. 

“Izzy I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but I do have an appointment with Joel and Missy in less than five minutes. I do very much doubt Ryder would attend and even if he did, I don’t understand, nor do I really want to understand, why you would assume I would let my hair down and wear a sexy dress for him. I can hardly stand him.”

Hardly stand him? Why did you add that? Don’t feed the fire. Say less listen more. 

“That’s not what Parker and Sophia told me,” Izzy continued. 

Her children were little traders. 

“I had a delicious supper tonight, which thank goodness you missed out on, or else I wouldn’t have been so informed about your extracirrcular activities.”

Traders!

Izzy continued. “Parker and Sophia were full of enthusiasm as they told the whole family all about how much fun you three had on Ryder’s boat.” Violet did not have time for this right now.

“Parker and Sophia did have fun.”

Clarity: Parker and Sophia, not us, not me, not Ryder.
Take the hint Izzy, drop the subject. 

“I was surprised you even went on his boat.” 

Clarity not taken. Let me spell it out for you Izzy, so we can drop this topic and I can continue to figure out what I am going to do with Ryder...if anything.

“I dropped the kids off at Ryder’s house because he and Joel were taking
them
fishing. When I arrived, Joel canceled and I had a sad couple of kids who had been looking forward to fishing. Ryder offered to take them but I certainly wasn’t going to leave them alone with him, which is how I ended up on the boat.” 

Izzy’s grin widened, like Violet’s explanation was testament to whatever she was conjuring up in her head. “Mmhmm.” 

“Don’t
mmhmm
me.” Violet’s eyes caught the clock. She was late. “I have to go.”

She grabbed her iPad off her desk and started toward the door. 

Ryder wouldn’t show up. Would he? Was that why she had dressed...more casual than normal? Because she thought he might show up?

Izzy stepped in front of her and before Violet even realized what was happening, her sister had swiped lip gloss along her matte pink lips. 

“Izzy!” She pulled her head away and glared.

Izzy smiled. “There. That’ll get him. You always wear matte let’s change it up. Glossy, shimmering...sexy hot.” 

Was she for real? 

“I like Ryder and if he is responsible for this new you that you’ve been trying to hide, than I like him even more.” Izzy paused and bit her lower lip like she was concerned, even though her eyes still sparked mischief. “Even though he did try to have sex with Emma. I mean that was a long time ago and I’m sure he’s changed. People change. Besides, Mom said he was probably going through something and she would know.”

Was her family always going to remember Ryder as the one who tried to get up Emma’s dress at her wedding? This was mortifying and added another brick to the layers she had to evaluate before she saw Ryder again.

Violet sent her sister a no-nonsense look, having had her fair share of this conversation. “Step away from the door before I take Marc’s side on his determination to make you work.” 

Izzy’s smile dropped, but her attitude remained. “I was being helpful. You’re just being plain mean.”

Izzy stepped out of the way and Violet swung the door open, while looking over her shoulder at Izzy. “Not another word about Ryder Carlex,” she warned and caught the biggest smile cross her sister’s lips.

What was she thinking now?

When Violet turned back, her mind didn’t have time to react to the body standing on the other side of the doorway. She bounced right off the solid chest and she would have went flying backwards if his arm didn’t wrap around her waist, drawing her firmly against him. So firmly she couldn’t have squeezed away if she tried. 

The beach smell drifted into her nostrils and before she opened her clenched eyes, she knew exactly who was holding her: Ryder Carlex.

Are you kidding me? 

Izzy’s amused giggle dug deeper into her embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” Ryder’s sincere question and the warm, caring tone threw her off her game.

She should have straightened her body, stepped back with posture and grace, and she would have if it had been anyone else that caught her. Being Ryder, she wanted to wrap her hands around his neck, kiss his lips and ask him what time he was picking her up. The idea caused the biggest bubble burst in the middle of her belly. 

Wasn’t that her decision right there?
She wanted to go on a date with Ryder.

 Her deep and startled breaths, mixed with the anger, embarrassment, and defeat of the way her entire body was reacting to his touch. At the same height, his face was so close she could feel his breath graze her lips and his eyes captured all her attention, with its lust-filled stare.