Sunset Thunder (21 page)

Who didn’t?

“Kelly and I are Donald’s workers and I can’t tell you enough how grateful we are for you bringing him back safe. We will still call the doctor in to confirm his condition, but thank you.”

Donald’s workers? Donald’s workers!

Of course. It all made sense now. Ryder was hiding his dad’s condition from the outside world and when she asked about Susan and Kelly, he hadn’t been ready to tell her.

Why not? Because you were acting like a child hiding in the shadows.

Before Violet could express a welcome, Susan hugged her. Susan was a good foot-and-a-half shorter than Violet and her head rubbed against Violet’s arm. Violet patted her back, feeling out of place.

When Susan pulled away, she wore a huge smile. “If Ryder’s mood lately has anything to do with you, which I know for a fact it does, then I’m sure we will be seeing a lot of each other in the future.”

Ryder’s mood? Was it good? Or bad? Was it both?

Violet wanted to ask, but knew now was not the time. This was the secret Ryder couldn’t tell her. These women that he couldn’t explain but had nothing to do with shacking up with.

Violet felt like a heel. 

“I found him down the road. He was wandering through the grass and heading to the bush. I would have called Ryder’s cell, but he wasn’t that uncooperative. We managed.” Skinned legs, a sore jaw later and she was pretty sure this dress was unsalvageable. 

Kelly touched her arm. “Thank you for bringing him back.”

Ryder let go of Mr. Carlex, only to grip his shoulders and run his eyes across his dad, for what she assumed were signs of injury. When he came up empty-handed, besides a handful of minor scrapes across his bare torso, Ryder looked relieved...a little.

Ryder cupped the sides of his dad face and pulled him against his forehead. “Dad, you scared me. I’m so sorry.” His coarse whisper travelled all the way to Violet. The pain that laced his words, as Ryder talked to a man who didn’t acknowledge them, brought tears to Violet’s eyes.

Donald yanked away, lost in his own world of confusion, stumbling out of Ryder’s grasp.

The horror of his reaction showed an exhausted tale of years dealing with his father’s memory loss across Ryder’s face, along with grief and a look of agonizing acceptance.

Violet wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks.

The two women rushed over, escorting Donald away and leaving Ryder to stand alone. The color of his face was stripped away, like he’d seen a ghost. With Donald unrecognizing his own son, wasn’t it like Ryder
was
staring at a ghost?

Kelly squeezed Ryder’s arm, before leaving, in a caring,
platonic
manner. It stabbed guilt into Violet’s heart. She had battled every stage of their connection, not knowing the complex life Ryder was hiding, or the grief he was living with.

Sabin followed behind the trio, moving slowly and exhausted like his owner. Tank was nowhere to be seen, leaving only Ryder and Violet.

Violet wanted to close the distance between them and embrace Ryder as hard and long as he’d done with his father, but his tense shoulders and pacing kept her grounded.

His face was tear-stained and puffy, with clouds of a storm rolling through his eyes. The agony transformed his sea blue eyes, to an unsettling navy blue. His leather, thong sandals slammed against the ground, thudding anger, frustration and misery that looked to be intensifying with each step. Ryder looked like he was ready to explode. Violet wasn’t sure what to do.

Violet couldn’t be certain Ryder even acknowledged her presence. He hadn’t looked at her, not once. His attention was consumed by the safety of his father.

What had happened? Why was he out wondering on his own?

Violet didn’t dare to ask.

“Ryder?” she said softly, but loud enough that he would hear her.

Nothing. His pace continued, drilling his eyes to the ground.

Violet stepped to his side, as he passed and touched his arm. “Ryder?”

Ryder yanked away, his feet keeping him along his path.

On his way back, Violet took a deep breath and stepped in front of him, hoping he didn’t push her to the ground. His strapping, powerfully built body, just like his father’s had once been, would take Violet’s tall, tiny body down the ground. 

Ryder stopped. 

Her body thanked him silently.

The breath she’d been holding, blew out and was lost by the deep breaths coming from Ryder, breaths of a man trying to hold back the tears that threatened.

Violet only stood still long enough to look at him and give him the time to recognize her. Once those blue eyes softened and his lips pinched together, Violet’s arms went around his neck. She pulled him against her.

He had no one.

Cancer had taken his mother and dementia was taking his father. Nothing in the world could prepare someone to deal with this change, this loss. And Ryder, an only child, was taking care of his father alone. Violet couldn’t even begin to comprehend the ache, the sorrow or the isolation Ryder must feel keeping this secret.

Violet hadn’t known what Ryder would do after she watched him yank away from Susan and Kelly, but even a strong-willed man like Ryder had to stop and let someone in...sometime.

Ryder hugged her back.

His thick, strong arms squeezed around her so tightly around her ribcage that it hurt. But Violet didn’t move, wince or object. Right now, he needed her strength and she gave it to him.

Ryder buried his face into her shoulder and the tears she’d known were at the surface fell with great sobs against her shoulder. This was why
he
was redesigning the company. This disease was the reason no one had seen Mr. Carlex in two years.

This was the best kept secret in Willow Valley.

Violet was sure they’d stood there for a half hour or longer, listening to the wind rustle the trees around them. It felt like forever and every second that passed she felt more of his pain creating a stronger connection between them.

When Ryder finally pulled away, it was as though he took part of her with him. He didn’t go far, about a foot away, and then he grasped the sides of her face, much like he’d done with his dad, only Ryder kissed her.

The taste of his salty kiss was only a reminder of his pain. The force of his lips, were not motivated by lust or desire he had for her. No, Ryder was hiding from his pain.
Hiding with his secrets.
Apparently Violet hadn’t been the only one hiding...the question was, why was Ryder hiding his father’s condition from everyone?

Violet wanted to kiss him forever, but he needed someone to talk to right now and not distract himself again with someone else.

She gently covered his hands with hers and pulled her lips away from his. “Ryder,” Violet breathed against his lips, a plea for him to stop. A plea for him to talk to her.

Ryder didn’t take it well. He pulled away, turned and started up the stairs.

“Ryder?” Violet called after him. Her feet didn’t move, her mind froze and she wasn’t sure what to do.

Do I leave him? Do I follow him? What is he doing?

Ryder turned and was back down the stairs in an instant, standing so close she could reach out to him. The glare he sent her, didn’t allow her fingers to move.

“What?” His snarl made her swallow, unable to answer.

What was she supposed to say?

Ryder ran his hands through his hair. She’d never seen him look so dishevelled. An expensive designer suit didn’t emphasize his brawny build like the white t-shirt he was wearing now.

“What are you doing here?” he said and the coolness from his tone ran across his face. It wasn’t the greeting Violet had been hoping for, but he was only lashing out because of the situation. 

It wasn’t the right time to tell him her true feelings. “Ryder, no one knows about your dad,” she said.

Ryder’s demeanor turned as cold as ice, as Joel had claimed she was and asked, “Did you want something?”

Violet didn’t know if she should answer, but she’d come all this way and feared if she didn’t tell him now, she might not be able to work up the courage again. “I wanted to tell you that I am finished hiding in the shadows.”

***

SHE WAS FINISHED hiding in the shadows? Now, she was finished hiding in the shadows? What was he even supposed to do with that now?

This woman had more dementia than his father. A father he’d put in danger.
His father.
The only person in this whole damn world he had left, probably not for long, and he’d put his life in danger.
Over a woman. Over Violet.
Because Ryder’s head was consumed by this female thunderstorm in front of him and she had no damn direction where she wanted to go.

The guilt was eating Ryder up inside. The lack of sleep, because he couldn’t get Violet out of his head, anticipating that she might show up like this very moment, confessing her feelings, was the cause of him falling asleep when he should have been watching his father.

“Now’s not a good time,” he snarled.

Would there ever be a good time?

Ryder had more important things to do than go back and forth with this lady. Only she wasn’t just some lady.

Let it go, Ryder. Let her go
.

He needed to get a better alarm system set up in the cottage that included door buzzers that went off each time any door opened and shut.

Why didn’t they have door buzzers? Or did they? Had he been in such a deep sleep that he’d slept through them?

Ryder pushed away the desire to walk into Violet’s embrace again, and let everything he was holding in, go. It had felt so good. But Violet was like a batch of threatening clouds rolling in, unable to decide whether to rain or pass by. Her indecision had allowed Ryder to put his own father in harm’s way. Ryder didn’t deserve her embrace.

Even if he took it, how long before she decided to tell him it was all for sex? How long would it be before she ran away again and cowered in the dark?

“Right..um...okay. I’m going to go.” Violet took a few steps away and Ryder ignored the constricting in his chest, telling him to call her back. She turned toward him again, he felt the tightening release.

Damn it Ryder, get some control.

“Ryder, are you okay?” she asked. 

If he wasn’t so mad at himself, Ryder would love that every single look across her face was raw. For the first time, Violet wasn’t holding back anything. He saw her pain, her worry and her sadness, and it was all for him. Only he didn’t deserve it. Violet didn’t understand.
He
was the reason his dad had been lost.
He
was the reason he was put in danger. He didn’t deserve consoling.

“I’m fine,” he growled, but he was anything but fine. More tears were threatening and his body was trembling. His dad could have been seriously hurt...or killed...and it was all Ryder’s careless fault.

Violet took a few steps back to him. “I can see you’re not fine. That was the wrong question. Do you need anything? Do you want to talk or−” 

He wanted her to leave so he could be angry at himself in peace. He didn’t want another person to tell him that losing his father today wasn’t his fault. Kelly and Susan had done plenty of reassuring that he hadn’t welcomed. He damn well knew it was his fault. 

“Violet, this is not your damn business and no I don’t want to talk about it. Just keep it to yourself.” His rage came out worse through his words and his heart dropped even more watching her take a step back at his aggressive tone.

Good, back off
.

“And I know you’re good at keeping things to yourself.” 

“Of course, Ryder. I would never tell anyone about your...situation. It’s not my business I was only offering as a−”

“Friend?” he snapped. “You’ve made it clear that I’m only good for a quickie.” Ryder watched her face drop in horror as her words thrown back wounded her. They weren’t true and she hadn’t meant it. He knew that. But right now, he needed her gone and she was a pro at using insults as tools to avoid confrontation.

Take the hint and go.

Ryder didn’t wait for her to leave. If he stood there any longer, he might cave into the desire to hold her. He turned and took the stairs two at a time into the house. He slammed the door and his body fell against it, sliding until he was sitting on the floor.

The floor of his empty house.

His head fell into his hands as the sobs returned.

He wanted his dad, his mom...he wanted Violet.

Every part of him wanted Violet, just as he had the last two days, hell the entire week, but he didn’t deserve her. He couldn’t take care of her. He couldn’t even take care of his dad. Maybe everyone’s image of him was right: useless playboy. 

WATER SPLASHED AND laughter echoed as Violet’s family gathered around the pool for another one of Marc’s burnt hamburger barbecues.

Before Marc returned home, Uncle Carl would guard the barbeque and he knew how to cook a delicious, juicy hamburger. Her brother, on the other hand, was the go-to-guy if you liked hard patties between the buns. No one dared tell him. 

“Are we almost ready?” Violet asked, leaning over his shoulder. He was tall, like Ryder, so, bare-footed she had to tip-toe to see the grill. The burgers were on fire. “You better turn your heat down,” she said with a laugh and stepped beside him, reaching to turn the knobs with her free hand.

The other hand steadied her half-full glass of wine. Drinking wine at meals was standard with her family, however, the three glasses she gulped down in the privacy of her own kitchen had been to kill the edge, after leaving Ryder...alone.

But, what was she supposed to do? Chase him in the house?

It was clear he wanted...or needed...to be alone and Violet could relate. It didn’t take away her concern for him, but hopefully another glass of wine would help.

Marc pinched at her fingers with the tongs. “Get out of here, or you get none.” It wasn’t a threat like he was intending. “You better go make the salad,” he said. 

“Are we ready for that? Or should I get a jug of water? A fire extinguisher? Possibly a take-out menu?” she teased, but seriously it was an easy phone call away to one of the on-site restaurants.

Marc sent her a playful glare. “Is Ryder responsible for this light-hearted side of you?”

Violet’s smile fell.

“I guess not.”

Violet was not about to go into this morning’s events with Marc. Where would she even start, without mentioning Donald’s condition? “It’s a long story.”

“Sorry Vi.”

Violet bit her lower lip, raised her eyebrows and scrunched her nose together, preparing for his reaction as she said, “I take half the blame, since I told him I used him only for the sex.”

She knew that had nothing to do with why Ryder wasn’t standing at her side. But the reaction Marc gave was exactly what she needed to distract herself this evening. Heaven only knew, once she was behind closed doors, she would wrap up in Ryder’s sweater and worry about him all night long.

Marc dropped the tongs on the grill and asked, “You slept with him?”

He reached again for the tongs, but instead of paying attention, he was looking at Violet for the answer and missed the tongs, burning his hand on the grill. Their eyes broke contact as he cursed, which was very unlike Marc who rarely lost control of a situation. He jumped away from the grill, knocking the tongs to the ground and sending a few burgers following.

“Dammit!”

“Are you alright?” Violet reached for him, but he shrugged her off. She stepped back, unable to suppress the grin.

“Do you need some help?” Carl called from where he and Eliza sat, tucked together on one lounger. Eliza lifted her head from the resting spot on Carl’s chest to see what all the commotion was.

“Let your dad cook the burgers!” Kate called from the tables, where she and Emma were spreading out the place settings. “You are wonderful on a stove, but sweetheart, let your dad man the barbecue.”

“I’m fine!” Marc barked at them, before bending down to reach the tongs that had fallen under the pot burner on the side of the barbecue. When he stood up, he hit the back of his head and snarled loudly, “Son of a−”

“Children!” Violet cried.

Marc growled the rest under his breath as he attempted to regain his composure. He dropped the tongs on the counter and began tucking his deep purple dress shirt back into his slacks, while sending Violet an unhappy stare.

“Maybe you should have thought of the children before spouting off about your hanky-panky.” Marc lowered his voice at the end of his sentence and Violet couldn’t hold it in any longer. She laughed out loud, so hard her stomach hurt.

Hanky-panky? Who says that?

“Don’t you have a salad to go make?”

Violet laughed again. “Do you want to know a secret?” she asked her brother.

“Not likely.”

Violet was a lock and key at keeping secrets. Nothing got past her, however today, she felt like standing far outside the box she kept herself locked up inside. “I know what actually happened in the sauna the week Kate came back for her grandmother’s funeral...”

Marc scowled. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

“And the cabin...” Violet enjoyed the way Marc shifted uncomfortably. “...Kind of think that’s where this whole idea you pitched about horse-drawn buggies and building little cabins in the woods originated. A little romantic winter escape for the two of you when one’s not rented. A little...
hanky-panky
...”

Marc groaned and turned away from his smiling sister. Marc didn’t kiss and tell. The McAdams siblings, on the other hand, aired their dirty little secrets that should remain behind closed doors. Private, who-did-who-where seemed to be a luncheon conversation staple in that family. Violet learned from experience when a brunch with Kate and her sisters had left her fully filled in on Marc and Kate’s little shenanigans in the sauna. AND the rendezvous they’d had at a cabin up north, during one of his so-called business trips. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten very much work done that weekend.

“I’m just saying you aren’t a saint, so don’t judge me,” she said.

Marc turned back to her. “I didn’t say I was a saint and I’m not judging you−”

Violet cut him off. She couldn’t take anymore lies after her dad’s room of deceptions. This family needed to be truthful with each other. “Yes you are.” He couldn’t fool her. His brotherly, protective wheels would be spinning so fast, that the burgers wouldn’t stand a chance of coming out unscathed. 

“Just be upfront with me about it Marc. Don’t lie to me. Don’t you think there have been enough lies in this family?”

“Yes, there have been plenty. But I’m not judging you. I’m your brother, I’m concerned about you. It’s not like you to go...” Marc looked around the room and his eyes fell on Kate. “Tap people, at all.”

Tap. Hanky-panky. It was called sex people. What was wrong with the actual word?
And,
at all
...what did that mean?

“You’re making me sound like a dried up old lady, who sits on her rocker and knits all day with her legs tightly crossed, warding off men,” she said defensively. She was younger than Marc for crying out loud! She wasn’t even in her thirties yet and he was heading toward mid-thirties.

“I’m not saying you’re old. I’m saying you’re cautious. I didn’t know you had already gone that far with Ryder. And, I don’t want to know more details, thank you.” He sighed. “Violet, this is so uncomfortable. Why are you not uncomfortable? Why are you even telling me? Wouldn’t Mom or Emma be better suited to listen and give you advice? If that’s what you’re after? Go ask Kate. Trust me, she is used of all this...stuff.”

“No.”

Violet looked at her mom staring up at Carl with the love she’d seen Ryder’s parents share. Then her eyes fell on Emma, who in the last year had silently sworn off men without an explanation.

“I honestly don’t know if there’s anything going on between me and Ryder at this point. But, I am happy to announce that I have come to a decision that I no longer care what other people think about me and my choices.”

“You have?” Marc said it like she couldn’t do it. Didn’t he know she was as competitive as they came?

Violet sipped her wine. Life was too short and Violet was too exhausted hiding behind her last name.

“Yes.”

“Mom!” Parker called. He was standing on the diving board above the deep end of the pool, wearing only his cartoon character board shorts. With a pool in their backyard, almost literally, and the lake at the edge of the property, Sophia and Parker had both been taking swimming lessons since they were born.

“Yes?”

“Did you invite Ryder over like you said you were gonna?” Parker yelled.

Every Caliendo eye turned to Violet. Eliza and Carl both sat straight up. Emma and Kate were in mid-laughter and stopped to turn around. Izzy, who was lounging on the far end of the pool, even glanced up from her cell phone screen. She shared her big, bold I-bet-that’s-not-all-you-did grin.

All of them had questioning looks, looks full of judgement. She felt Marc’s eyes burning into her side, silently asking,
You have?

“He was busy,” Violet said.

“Did you go to his house?” Marc asked.

What was with all the questions?

“Remember when Ryder picked you up and threw you off the boat?!” he called. 

“I remember him throwing
you
in the water,” Violet said to Parker.

The curdling feeling in the pit of her stomach told her it would take some time before she truly didn’t care what other people thought, but she had her whole life to work on it. No longer would her name keep her from doing what made her happy.

“He’s so strong. He lifted me in the air this high.” Parker held his hands above his head. “And then he cannon-balled into the water like this!” Parker did a cannon ball off the diving board with a loud splash, as his body sank into the middle of a wave pool.

“It’s a good thing that you’re finished caring what other people think because I’m sure suppers going to be full of Ryder questions,” Marc teased.

“Shut up.” Violet punched him in the shoulder. “I have a salad to prepare.”

“Maybe you could start with how you got that shiner on your chin...”

Violet touched the purple bruise under her chin that she’d tried to conceal with the disguise of makeup. It had only masked the color, the swelling remained, but she’d let her hair down and kept her head tilted in hopes people wouldn’t notice. Apparently she was only fooling herself.

“Or the scratches down the back of your legs.” Marc wasn’t teasing anymore. His concern about her bumps and bruises were digging for the truth.

“Salad,” she said. Violet slugged the rest of her wine back and headed to her suite, where there was a full bottle waiting for her. 

Inside, she pulled out two heads of lettuce, tomato, cucumber and avocado, arranging it along the counter. She stopped at her reflection off the chrome fridge and caught a glimpse of her chin. She was going to have to soak this bruise with witch hazel tonight and really reduce the color.

Violet turned her attention back to chopping the lettuce and wondered how Mr. Carlex was doing...how Ryder was doing.

Ryder was a lot like his father had been before his sickness. In appearance, they were both over six feet tall. While Mr. Carlex had been a little burlier than his son, it was clear by Ryder’s physique that he spent a good deal of time at the gym. It wasn’t their looks that connected them, but the way they both spoke, with smooth confidence, and a genuine smile that you wouldn’t forget. After Mrs. Carlex died and Mr. Carlex attended the galas alone, Violet had noticed a part of him had died with his wife. There was a glimmer missing, the extra push of his smile was gone. This morning, watching Ryder suffer, she’d seen the same thing in him.

Let it go Violet. Worrying about Ryder won’t change anything, expect give you an ulcer.

That was easier said than done.

She welcomed the distraction that the knock on Violet’s front door presented.

Please be Joel.

Violet had left several messages on his voicemail about Parker and Sophia. She needed to talk to Joel alone first, and demand to know exactly what his plans were with the children. Joel loved his kids, but he had a hard time with commitment. Parker and Sophia needed stability and assurance from him right now. No matter how hurt Violet was after his appalling insults, she had to let it go and move forward for their kids. It didn’t matter what either adult thought of the other, the truth was, their only connection was Parker and Sophia...and possibly Ryder.

Ryder. Was he alright? She wished he would text, phone, anything
.

Drying her hands, she opened the door while tossing the towel over the foyer table.

It wasn’t Joel.

“I thought maybe this could be our thing. Chasing each other back and forth with an apology,” Ryder said, with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, although some of his sparkle was back.

He was so handsome.

Violet loved his teasing, but she loved that he was on her doorstep more. Her worry eased at the sight of him, but after witnessing his distress this morning, she was aware he was masking his pain. She knew the love and worry for his father was overwhelming his thoughts like her concerns for Ryder had been just a few moments earlier.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she said. If anything, she should apologize for dropping her feelings on him after the horrific scare involving his dad. That had been tasteless.
How was his dad?
She wanted to ask, but didn’t dare...not yet anyway.

As if reading her thoughts, he said, “My dad is a touchy subject that I don’t discuss with anyone.” Ryder looked away, and Violet saw the raw, hard pain he was trying to hide.