Surrender: The Greek Affair Series Book One (14 page)

She goes to the veranda with her coffee and sits and watches the sea. She wants to be buried at sea when she dies, here in this sea, so her soul can swim with the dolphins. The warm morning breeze caresses her skin and the scent of the Aegean fills her nostrils. And Hope wishes she could die now, this very moment, as she knows that this is heaven, with all her turmoil inside her, this is as close as she has ever been to paradise, her island, the Aegean, and Jason, (she never would have predicted Jason). The tranquility loosens some of her knots and she will attempt to have something to eat soon, as she realises that she must eat. She has managed to stop her brain from racing for now, and as she watches the sea, she feels that this is as close as she’ll come to meditation.

She’s not sure how long she has been sitting here like this, or what time it is when she senses him behind her, but she knows he is there, even though she has not heard him. He is standing there and she’s waiting, waiting for his touch, as her inner voice urgently tells herself,

“Please don’t let me feel like this. It’s not good for anyone. Can I not want this person so much? Can I not want him to touch me? Why isn’t he touching me now! Please touch me, Iáson, touch me now!”

“I know you know I’m here.” He says. She does not turn around. She waits.

“Have you had some breakfast?”

“No” without turning

“You should eat something. Not just coffee.”

She sighs, gets up, and sees him standing under the door frame. She walks past him, but she does not look at him or touch him, as she walks back into the house.

“I’m going to get something. Would you like anything? Can I make you breakfast? Coffee?” And she is opening the fridge and taking out yogurt and strawberries, yet still does not look at him.

Jason had turned around and was looking at her.

“How long have you been up?”

“I don’t know. I know that I woke up at five.”

“Did you sleep at all?”

“I guess I slept a little.” she continues not to look at him.

“Don’t do this Hope It’s not going to make you feel better
kardiá mou
. (My heart)”

She stands still with her right hand holding onto a chair, her head bent and her left hand holding the bridge of her nose. Still, she does not look at him, because she knows she will give in to him if she looks into his beautiful face. If she looks into his green pools she knows she will be his slave, and he will have her body, her heart and her soul.

He approaches her and she stiffens as if that will protect her from the conduit that connects her to him. He stands behind her and wraps her in his embrace with his strong arms, his smell and his heart’s warmth emanating from his body. He spreads his beautiful hands across her body, palming her belly with one and the other her breasts, with love, and not lust. He breathes along her neck and runs his soft lips along her ear lobe and down her shoulders. He gently turns her around to face him. Her head is still bent, and she doesn’t want to look in his face.

He takes her chin, lifting her face upwards.

“Look at me!” he demands, in a very soft and caressing tone.

“Please look at me
kardiá mou
, (my heart) look at me.”

She looks at him with the steely resolve she is trying to master. She tries not to tear up. She has had very little sleep, which makes her weak and just easier to break her resolve, let alone all these raging feelings she doesn’t recognise.

He looks at her tenderly and says,

“Let’s sit down, have breakfast, listen to some music, have coffee, ring Petro, have a day out, and we’ll take this up another time.

“And tonight you must try and get a decent night’s rest.” He holds her face, kissing her tenderly on the mouth with his full sculptured lips. She tightens her mouth and makes a grimace and mutters under her breath. “Ok.”

He goes to the iPod and puts on music,
Eleftherία Arvanitίki singing “Olla teliόnoun kai όlla arhίzoun edό”
(“Everything finishes and everything starts here” … You are the river and I’m the sea…….and everything starts here on this golden morning”). He sits at the table, wraps his fingers around her wrist and says.

“You are my ocean, Hope.” She brings out the strawberries, the yogurt and the honey and makes more coffee as she sits opposite him.

They spoon out the yogurt, fruit and honey and Jason eats it with gusto. Hope is trying, because she knows she must. He finishes his and watches her making a pretence at eating. He gets up and sits next to her, takes her spoon off her, and starts to feed her like she’s a small child, playing airoplanes with the spoon and landing it in her mouth.

With this, her resolve falls apart and she begins to laugh. He feeds her strawberries, she has yoghurt all over her face, and around her lips, mixed with honey. She’s had enough, and she doesn’t want any more strawberries. She picks up a paper towel to wipe her face, and he takes it off her, pulling her face to his own, as he starts to lick her yogurt and honey from her mouth. He looks into her eyes, intensely and stands her up. Jason starts to undress her and she’s paralysed.

He takes her top off, her shorts, and her underwear and picks up her leftover yogurt with honey, spreading it over her body. She can tell from the look he gives her, that she should stand still. He goes to those nether regions with cold yogurt and honey; she has capitulated to this latest food fetish. Her body has given up fighting all the doubts, allowing all the carnal need to overflow, guide and torture her. She has surrendered all of herself once again. She has lost any remnant of resistance she thought she still may have had.

Hope’s body is on fire, her heart is thumping against her ribs, the blood flow in her vagina feels like she’s having a vaginal stroke, and she thinks she’s trembling. What’s more, she is not sure how long her legs can hold her up like this. He has begun licking her from her mouth downwards. He’s at her décolletage, now slowly moving to her breasts, licking her nipples and spreading the honey in the valley of her breasts, slowly finding his way towards her belly, in her belly button and to her mound. He is on his knees, when he spreads her legs and she opens up to welcome his warm mouth and his wondrous tongue and finally, she’s lost.

Hope is moaning and grinding her teeth, pushing herself further in his mouth. He is lapping her up and she’s ready to come. She’s trying to control herself but he has proved to her once more that he can do anything he wishes with her body. She has lost all resistance. He barely touches her clit and she explodes. She’s aware that all the windows are open and are in close proximity to neighbours, so she tries to muffle her noise as her body spasms. He gets up, closes her mouth with his, searching for her tongue, and at the same time pulling his boxer shorts off. He sits in the chair, holds her hips and puts her astride over him, he spreads his knees and as he takes her astride, guides her on top of his magnificent cock and lets her masturbate with it, as he rubs it over and over on her cleft, driving her over the edge again, as if she has not just had an orgasm. This time he seals her mouth as she calls his name, and he impales her. He pushes her back slightly to look into her face and he moves her up and down, in an even, slow, loving rhythm.

“I want to look at you as you groan and moan with my cock inside you. I want to see your face when you come again.”

They are both breathing heavily now in rhythm, with each other. Hope has become very noisy and she doesn’t care if her neighbours can hear her. She doesn’t care about anything except what she’s doing with this man. She’s lost in him. In them. He looks down at where their bodies are connected internally, and bends back to look at her. “Look at us baby. Look at what we’re doing. I was made for you
morό mou
(my baby), just for you, my cock only wants to fuck you.”

And with all that talk she is almost there again. He grabs her head and impales his tongue in her mouth and she gives him all of her. He stops tongue fucking her and she can feel his rhythm quicken while he is talking in her mouth. “Can you come with me baby? Come now for me.”

He pushes her back and makes her look at their moving parts and they both explode together, as they look into each other’s faces. She collapses into him as she trembles past her orgasm. They sit like this, with sweat pouring off their bodies, hearts beating loudly, out of breath, and so in need of each other. And again, they both know they have to be together.

Their bodies are limp now, and she feels as if she’s died.
“La petite mort”
(little death) sighs Jason in French, every time Jason and Hope make love, a part in them dies. They already know the emptiness they will feel for years to come, without each other. What is happening to them? Why is this attraction so strong? They both feel as if they have taken some magic potion and knowing that they both feel the same, makes it all the more dangerous, more potent, more beguiling, more bewitching.

They are holding on to each other, glued together with yogurt, honey and perspiration. They smell of very strong sex, mixed with breakfast. They wait to catch their breaths while they are still joined. They lift their heads, look at each other and touch their foreheads, till they can catch their breath, smiling at each other’s faces.

Hope now makes an attempt to land on planet earth, and says to him, “We have to ring Pétro. Oh and by the way, I’m going back to Athens with him.” Jason says nothing, but she can feel his body tensing.

“Ok.” He says, knowing that she needs this space. Jason is not happy about being told last minute but he overlooks this element of her leaving, as he was expecting her to do so. But not now, and certainly not so suddenly.

He loosens his hold on her and she gets up. Hope goes into the bathroom and without a word, she closes the door. He leaves her alone. As she comes out he goes in, without saying anything.

At some stage he comes out wrapped with a towel around his waist. Hope is already dressed and he finds her sitting on the verandah drinking her coffee. He picks up his coffee, lukewarm by now, and sits near her with a small round table separating them. He stretches his hand across the table without looking at her, takes her hand and entwines his fingers into hers. She does not resist.

“Is there a man in Athens?”

Hope hesitates. He looks at her, waiting to hear her. She does not look at him and pulls her hand away from his.

“No more. There was… Oh god, Jason this has nothing to do with another man. It’s what’s going on here with us. I can’t deal with it. It’s too much, too soon, and we are not right for one another.”

“Tell me about him.”

“I’ve known him for five years, we have never lived together and we rarely even go out together. In reality, there was no relationship to speak of. And by the way he was younger than me, so younger men don’t scare me easily.”

“Of course they scare you, Hope. Don’t lie to yourself. Younger men are Ok in bed, but not out of bed.” And he squeezes her hand very tightly.

“Let’s not analyse me now. Ok? I need a break from what all this is between us.”

“Are you coming back?”

“Yes, I just want a break to gather my senses and try to understand this, (whatever it is), that is happening between you and me. I want some distance.”

He turns and looks at her. He bends over and gives her a soft kiss on the cheek he can reach, and sits back, still looking at her and holding her hand.

“Ok
kardiá mou
, (my heart) go and clear your head and you know where to find me. How many days will you be away?”

“I think about three. I’ll get a couple of things done before August sets in and everything shuts down for the summer.” She disengages her hand and turns her chair to face him, leaning on the table resting her chin in her hand. He turns to look at her, and she feels a little lighter in her heart with the decision made to leave, even if only for a few days. She is hoping by some miracle she will go to Athens and reality will set in, and she will be over these feelings she has for this man.

She can’t think with him around. All she needs is his touch, his smile, and she forgets all reason in her already tumultuous life. And then he throws another question at her, taking her completely off guard once again.

“Tell me about your husband.”

Jason knew what he was doing. It was time to prod and while he was waiting for her answers, he wanted a cigarette. He was dying for one, but he was determined to give it up for her. He wanted to do a lot of things just for her. He had been very careful with Hope up till now. He did not want to dig into her personal life too much. Rather, he wanted her to be ready to talk to him in her own time, when she was comfortable. He also knew this was not easy for her and that she might never do it unless he showed interest.

He also suspected that it was in her character not to talk too much about her past, or even her present. She gave herself to him, in his arms, without any barrier. But then, out of his embrace she was full of barriers and walls and he needed to jump the moat she had around herself, even if it meant he might get hurt in the process. It was worth the risk. He wanted to make this woman his, and he was trying to find out how and when to do it. He had to find out about her.

He knew he had a steep climb, and he had to open her up, and make her trust him as a man. He had to make her see him as an adult man; a man who was capable of taking and executing responsibilities. He wanted her to trust him and believe in him and his love for her.

He knew it was not the right time to tell her he loved her. He suspected it might frighten her even more than she already was. He knew that her heart and soul had been brutalised and he wanted her to know that he would never do anything to her that made her doubt his love for her.

Jason would have to prod, but ever so slowly; as slowly as possible, considering that the summer would end and he had to make plans for his own life, but he would like to make them together with her.

She looked at him with her chin still resting in her hands.

“Oh honey, that is a long and terrible story and I don’t know if you would understand.”