Surreptitious (London) (13 page)

Chapter twenty

Taylor

I was happy! I couldn’t remember the last time I sat at home and smiled for no reason whatsoever. And ok ok, it had only been about ten days since our showdown at the restaurant (which still makes me giggle when I think of it!), but it felt right.

Jax has stayed at my place every night since, he was right...
again...
(I hate that!) when he said that going to sleep together and waking up together is worth fighting for. It’s secure, soft, warm and ten of the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had. Neither of us are particularly cuddly people, yet somehow every night we fall asleep on our sides, facing in the opposite direction and wake up entangled together in the middle of the mattress. Thus commences the now daily discussion of whom moves over to who, which really, considering we’re
in the middle
we should both accept fault, but do we? Nope.

Two nights ago we were
snuggling on the sofa watching TV when I assume he decided it was time to share. He leaned in towards me so my right side was flush against his left, put his arm across my shoulders and rested my head on his chest. His tone was flat, slightly solemn and seriously un-Jackson-like!! I instantly doubted whether or not I wanted to hear what he was going to say.

“I left at home when I was fifteen. No that’s not right; I was
forced
to leave home at fifteen. I didn’t go into care, I was homeless. Not for long, but it was enough to know I’d never wish that on my worst enemy. Told you before babe and I was not lying, Tracey and Dave, my...my
parents
were not good people. I hated life when I was younger, but it was more of a misplaced hate because I didn’t understand why other kids we’re clean, happy, had nice clothes, nice hair...they just had everything that I’d never had. I used fight, man I got in some serious fights...because instead of hating my parents, I hated everyone else. Jealousy. Pure and simple.”

He stopped and I thought he wasn’t going to continue but I looked up at him to see he was clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth. Instead of speaking, I just stayed silent and allowed him to work through it before he continued.

“I just didn’t feel anything towards them ya know? They were there...but they weren’t
there
...not for me, and not for my brothers. Obviously I was seven years older than Mase so by the time they made me leave he was only eight, and Ruben was only seven. I despised leaving them there, but what’s a fifteen year old kid going to do about it? Fuck all. That’s what I could do...
fuck...all.
It gets better though, I slept under bridges, in shop doors and on park benches for about three weeks. I guess you could say that I was lucky because it was summer, so even though it was cold at night, the nights were short and it was nice out so a lot of people were having barbeques. I learnt by the third day that I could easily steal some scraps to eat from back gardens without people knowing I was there. I’d wait ‘til they started to move inside in the evenings, jump the fence, grab whatever I could and jump back out before they came back out to get everything in. Disgusting right?” I shrugged because I thought it was a pretty good idea for someone who had no idea how to live on the streets...

”But one night, I’d gone back to this house on the outskirts of town, I’d happened on to it by chance as I walked past but I tried it the next week and they were eating outside again. So that night, I walked all the way there, and I’d been wondering around all day so it must have been at least four, maybe five miles to get there but I was a stubborn fucker, even back then, and I wanted to steal from them. They had this huge house, and
four
cars on the driveway so I didn’t want them to have everything.” He shook his head and muttered ‘fucking idiot’ before saying even more...

“I watched them go inside and I jumped the fence straight away, ran towards the table, but before I could get there, some fat old bastard grab me round the throat. Now I could fight, but I could fight boys my own age. Street fights, school fights...that sorta’ thing, but in reality, I was just a scrawny kid...tall, but skinny. This guy had 100lbs on me easily. He told me that he’d seen me steal food from them both times I’d been there previously and that he was...in his words, ‘not being mugged off by a trampy teenage kid’. I mean, you could see I had nothing, and it was their fuckin’ scraps!! Anyway, he beat me. BAD. And then he threw me in the back of one of his flash cars, drove to, well I didn’t have a fucking clue where he drove to, but he opened the door and dragged me out. He left me on the side of a road, surrounded by miles and miles of fields and drove off.” I interrupted him at this point and asked...

“Um, when exactly does this get better?” He grinned with forced humour and explained...

“I walked, fuck I remember that walk, it weren’t cold, but it was chucking it down. I was drenched, covered in bruises, had a split lip and a black eye but I just kept walking. I have no idea how far or how long I walked, but I spotted a house and a barn about 200 yards away from the road, so I dragged myself over to it and climbed into the barn to try and get some sleep. Anyhow, I don’t know much of what happened over the next few days after that, but when I woke up, I was in a bed, with a duvet, I had pyjamas on that were well too big for me, a glass of orange juice on the bedside table and two painkillers next to it. Turns out Jonah found me the morning after I’d been beaten up and I had a fever, temperature through the roof and was sick a dog. He looked after me, he gave me a room, he fed me...he was the best damn thing that ever happened to me.” A dark look flashed behind his eyes before he abruptly stopped speaking, he stood and murmured “I’ll tell you more tomorrow, I’m tired now.” And stalked off into the bedroom.

I figured he needed to take some time away and I was still trying to get my head around a poor fifteen year old boy, who had no home, no clothes except the ones on his back, had to steal food and got beat up by a fucking adult.

I sat on it for about twenty minutes before following Jax into the bedroom. I climbed into bed and wrapped my arms around his neck, he shifted so that he could rest his head on my chest and within minutes his breathing had evened out and I knew he was asleep. That night, I didn’t join him in slumber until much...
much
later.

I woke when I felt a hand slide across my stomach, I’d gone to bed in short-shorts and a vest-top but at some point it must have ridden up and my skin was on show. I tensed at the contact because even though I knew I was in bed with Jax and we’d woken every morning in an embrace, I wasn’t used to being touched, especially in my sleep! He had his body wrapped around mine and I wasn’t sure whether he was still asleep or just...well...horny!

“Jax...” I whispered. He didn’t respond so I assumed he was asleep. I closed my eyes and tried to drift off but as soon as I did, his hand shifted again so he had his palm on my ribs, his fingers curled around my side and his thumb was resting on the underside of my breast. I giggled softly so as not to wake him but I couldn’t help it.

Stupid right? Twenty-three years of age and giggling because a man touched my chest. But I’d only had sex with one man, one time – it was safe to say...I was nervous! Jax hadn’t said anything but judging by the fact that he was hard every time we had a night-time make-out session. I wanted it...
badly
. But I swear he could feel my hesitancy whenever things got heated. He’d tuck me into his side and kiss my hair. Which was sweet, really sweet, but it wasn’t hot... and I wanted
hot.

I made the decision right then that the next night was gonna be
the night
. I wanted him, I
craved
him and frankly I was tired of being treated like I was made of glass. I wanted him to lose control, he forced it on me, pushed me outside my comfort zone and yeah okay, so I fought him every step of the way but I’ll admit he won, and he deserved to! I’m happier now that I’ve been in a long,
long
time.

Since I couldn’t get back to sleep, I peeked at the clock to see it was 5:48am so I shuffled myself to the edge of the bed and crawled out. I stopped and watched him sleep for a few seconds, a small smile played at my mouth but then my face fell as I noted that the only time I’d seen him look truly peaceful was in his sleep.

I hated that. He was so full of life, so funny, so loud, so amazing...yet those damn shadows just rolled in whenever they felt like it. Well fuck them! He saved me, I was determined to do the same.

Chapter
twenty-one

Taylor

I strolled around town looking for the perfect outfit for my night time plans and wondering just how the hell I went from an essentially asexual girl who only wore jeans and converse, to the girl who wear short, tight little dresses on a night out and was currently shopping for an outfit to make her irresistible to her alpha-macho boyfriend?!

Jackson Brent...that’s how!!

I searched six different clothing stores and found nothing. Not a single thing that I wanted. I was starting to think that I’d had a wasted journey when I spotted a high street lingerie and sex shop. I’d never been in, but Harper had tried, and failed, to convince me on multiple occasions that it wasn’t as bad as I was picturing in my head! My step faltered as I was wondering if I could actually do it and before I could over think it, I ducked inside.

I was instantly overwhelmed by rows upon rows of lingerie, but not just any lingerie, no...this...was...
hot.
For the first time in years...I
shopped.
I bought several underwear sets, matching bras and panties, red, black, fuchsia, teal...lacy, silky, satin...I was in
heaven!!
I wondered further into the building, rounded the corner at the back and stopped dead.
HOLY FUCK!!

Vibrators, lubricants, hand-cuffs...and they were just the items I could bare to look at!! Sexual instruments, toys and some funky latex items, items that I didn’t even hazard a guess as to their use, covered every surface, wall and rack in the section. I dread to think what my face must have looked like, I could feel that it was burning so I immediately turned on my heel and fled back towards, what I considered to be, the ‘safe’ section of the shop.

I shuffled over towards the nightwear at a slower, and more cautious, pace...actually
nervous
about what I might find. As soon as I was near, I noticed it.
The ONE.
I didn’t even glance at the others before grabbing it off the rack and heading for the changing rooms. Once inside, I wriggled out of my clothes and gently slid the item over my head, pulled it down, peeked at the mirror and froze.

THAT GIRL IS NOT ME!!

I couldn’t believe my eyes, I’d never really had self-confidence issues with my looks, like I said before, I looked like my mum and she was always so damn beautiful. Still...I
wanted
myself!! I looked
FIT!!
I bit my lip to stop the grin that was threatening to form, I mean, who grins at themselves in a mirror because they look good?!...Ahh...I do apparently!!

I was wearing a white baby-doll, it really wasn’t made of very much at all and I fucking loved it!! There was a built-in bra that barely covered my nipples, decorated with small diamante studs across the cup. It was attached to transparent white lace that fell to my upper thigh and had a satin hem, but it was the back that caught me. It hung low, so low in fact that I vaguely wondered why they bothered adding a back at all! But the lace kissed the very base of my back, and then met the length at the front. It was sexy, it was innocence, it was me, it wasn’t me...it was fucking
perfect.

I quickly re-dressed and let out a silent ‘woop’ as I exited the changing room. The sales woman eyed me warily, probably wondering why the hell I walked in there looking petrified and walked out looking
elated!! I walked to the till, placed all my purchases on the counter and pulled out my debit card. I gulped when the till read £288.99...
for underwear!!
But handed over my card regardless, I pretty much thought...fuck it! Why not?! My man needed to learn that I might be inexperienced compared to him, or compared to any really, but I know what I want and when I want it!!

Enjoy!!

Jackson

She was planning something. I could feel it and it was making me nervous. She walked around with a smile on her face all evening; I even heard her
whistling
in the shower! Now don’t get me wrong, I loved it, I loved seeing her so happy, but all I knew was when she walked out that morning, she wasn’t practically euphoric like how she was when I turned up later. It confused me.

There were the ‘innocent’ touches, there were the hungry eyes, there were the casual strokes and there were the numerous fucking moments when she would bend over, almost like she was doing it on purpose, right in front of me.

I swear I had to bite back a groan on multiple occasions. She was killing me, a slow fucking painful death as well. It was all painful, I ached to take her, throw her over the sofa and pound into her...but fuck...I knew I couldn’t do it...and that...that
image
playing on repeat in my mind...was fucking
torture
.

I was flicking through the channels on the TV trying to find something...
anything
to sway my attention from my raging hard-on and the fact that I knew she was naked under her towel, in the next room, drying her hair. When the hairdryer turned off and a few seconds later the door clicked open…My...world...fucking...
stopped.

HOLY FUCKING DAMN SHIT FUCK!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY?!?!

HO...LY....FUCKKK!!!!

She looked like an angel. A fucking tempting angel. My dick swelled even further behind my jeans, causing me to wince, but I ignored it and just stared at Tay. Never, not once in my entire life have I ever been completely, totally...
utterly speechless.

Damn if she didn’t just keep getting better and better. She was gonna ruin me, I knew it, I also didn’t give...one...single...
fuck.
I was about to make a grab for her when she sashayed past and asked in false breezy tone, “Want anything to drink?”

I faltered and frowned, thinking ‘What the actual fuck?!’ but then I caught sight of the back of the baby-doll she was wearing, dropped my head back, stared at the ceiling and groaned aloud.

And again...
HOLY FUCKING DAMN SHIT FUCK!!!!!!!!

I heard her soft giggle and acted on instinct. I jumped up, ran to the kitchen and skidded to a halt when I seen that she was already facing me, on
e hip leaning against the counter, with a smile playing at her lips. Her eyes were alight, burning in fact, so I stalked forward heaved her over my shoulder and listened to her musical laughter on the way to the bedroom.

I threw her on the bed, she landed with a thud and bounced once, still laughing, before I was on her. I lay on top of her, but supported my weight on my forearms
, she silenced and I
growled
in her ear.

“Don’t play with me baby girl!! I’m hanging on by a fucking thread here!!” I heard her breath hitch and grunted my approval when she wriggled beneath me

“I’m not playing with you Jax...I’m forcing your hand. I
need
you.” She breathed.

And one more time...
HOLY FUCKING DAMN SHIT FUCK!!!!!!!!

Taylor

His body stilled above me and he gazed down at me with an unreadable expression. The thought briefly entered my mind that he might say no but before I could doubt myself further, he slammed his mouth down on mine.

Fuck yes!!

It was bruising, it was brutal, it was possessive, it was
amazing
. I needed him and that was what I wanted...intense, hard, fast, hot...
real.
My core, already heated, got hotter. I was wet, I was ready, I was panting… I was practically already finished!!

He raised his head slightly and murmured “Are you sure?” against my mouth.

“Yes Jax, yes I’m sure...stop stalling and fuck me!!” I panted.

“Never.”
He declared. I stilled beneath him at what he said and was about to shove him off me when he continued in a tender voice, “every time baby girl, morning sex, lunchtime quickie, middle of the night, just-woke-up-horny sex...doesn’t matter. I’ll make love to you...every...single...time.”

Well that was sweet...but well...I didn’t want sweet!!

“I don’t want sweet and soft and slow Jax. I ache for you. I want it hard, I want it fast...and I want it
now
.”

He braced his weight on one arm and reached between us with the other to unbutton his jeans. I was fucking singing inside knowing I was gonna get what I wanted. He kicked his jeans off the end of the bed and sat back on his heels...
still
in boxers and a t-shirt. He crossed his arms on the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it up over his head but left his boxers in place while he said...”Doesn’t matter, fast, hard, rough, sweet, slow...fuck...it really does
not
matter. It’s
all
making love with us. Because I...love...you.”

Damn it!! So sweet, so loving, so NOT what I wanted!! Time to play things my way.

I slid a and hand along his abs, felling the hard ridges beneath my finger tips, I was soft, I was gentle...then I reached his groin and I didn’t give him time to react before I pushed his boxers down and gripped him. He grunted, but I smiled a wicked smile, stroked him from root to tip and I repeated...

“I want it
hard
, I want it
fast
...and I...want...no I NEED...it...
now!!!”

It took him a second to react but then he leant forward, yanked at the ribbons holding my panties together on either side and threw them in the same direction as his jeans. I was panting with need, my pulse was racing and I didn’t think I could take any more stalling!!

He pushed my thighs further apart, covered my body with his and took my mouth in a slow, sweet...fucking
beautiful
kiss. I was lost to him, I was floating, I felt his dick probing my entrance and I circled my hips to force contact but he reared back and I thought he was going to stop, when he slammed into me.

I screamed with pleasure, he groaned, we both froze.

FUCK...ME. One thrust?!

Magic. Fucking stars in my eyes...swirls, hearts...fucking flowers danced behind my eyelids. I could have just stayed like that forever. I didn’t need him to move, I didn’t need to breath.
Perfection.

“Are you okay?” He whispered and I didn’t trust myself to respond with words seeing as I was still in the throes of orgasm so I just nodded and he started to
really
move.

He sank into me and slid back out over and over again, building speed
. There was a hint of pain because I was practically still a virgin! It was just an edge, a bite, but I loved it. It proved it was real, it wasn’t a dream, we were there, we were living.

Eventually the pain subsided and
I tilted my hips to meet his thrusts and moaned.
Loud!
He straightened his arms raised his torso off me but kept pounding into me while he stared into my eyes. It was intense and so damn fucking perfect.

His thru
sts became faster and rougher and I could feel myself building again so I wrapped my limbs around him and clung to him as I searched for it.

“Touch yourself Baby girl…get there” He grunted.

I was panting and I was completely immersed in pleasure but I was still embarrassed to do what he’d asked. Could I touch myself with him there? Yes…yes I could!

He must have realised that I hadn’t yet
moved my hands so he shifted onto one arm, grabbed my hand with the other and slid our hands down together. He pressed my fingers into my clit and circled them. I bucked underneath him and so he circled faster with our fingers and matched the movement with his hips. That was it…I exploded, I cried out, clenched around him and I felt him stiffen above me, seconds later he roared with his release. His seed hit my womb and
I liked that, I liked it a lot. His arms gave out and collapsed on top of me but
shit!
I liked the feel of that too.

We were panting, sweaty and drained but it was beautiful, it was intense, it was perfect, it was my
real.

OH SHIT!!

Jackson

What the fuck?! I was lying there thinking that, that was off-the-charts...out-of-this-world...seriously fucking
hot,
when I felt Taylor tense underneath me so I rested my weight on my elbows, with my forearms either side of her head. I was about to ask if she was ok when she burst out crying. Not sniffles, not sobbing...this was full-on wailing.

I slid out of her and had to bite back another groan at the feel of it...like a silk glove.
Damn
. I rolled off her, pulled her into my arms and held her tight. She didn’t fight me; she came willingly, which I took as a good sign and buried my face in her hair before murmuring...

“Help me out here baby girl. Did I hurt you? Is that why you’re upset? Did you not enjoy it? I don’t...I don’t understand why you’re crying.”

She wrapped her arms around me but didn’t answer for a long time. Well it might not have been that long, but it fucking felt like it. Eventually, she pulled in a few broken breaths and replied shakily.