Surviving Love (12 page)

“I…miss…her so much.” I sputter my words through the wounds of my broken soul. “I just miss her.”
 

Chapter 11
 

Drake
 

When I finally peel myself up from the floor, I take note that my entire family is sitting around me. In my devastated condition, I’ve had no idea Delilah, Jake and Darcie have come into the room. Reggie is still by my side with his firm protective grasp on my shoulder.
 

The feeling of love starts to sink back in. I do love my family and I want to try to be the family we were before all this happened. I love them, and in this moment, I know I need them to help me heal. I’ve been in isolation with my pain for the last year and a half, and I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of walking through this life cloaked in my agony. I need to let it go, and letting my family in is the best way to release some of the burden.
 

I make it to my feet and the rest of them follow suit. I immediately turn to Jake, my eyes are swollen and broken from my outburst, but an apology is necessary. “I’m sorry, Jake. I saw you and then I didn’t. I saw him.”
 

Jake doesn’t say a word, only stares are me with an unreadable face. I can tell he is still furious with me, and the marks around his neck are a reminder of what I’ve just done. Delilah tucks her hand inside his and he looks down to their joined hands then back up to her eyes. The tension in his body relaxes, and when he turns to me, I feel him pull me in for a hug. “I forgive you, brother,” he whispers to me.
 

Reggie hands me a business card with Dr. Redman’s information on it. “Just call her. If it all gets to be too much, just call her or me…or any of us. Just don’t let it fester, Drake. Because the next time, you
will
do something stupid, and I won’t be there to stop you.”
 

I take the card and nod in agreement. I take the time to hug and apologize to my family and walk back to Mia’s room. She’s sound asleep in her crib, completely at peace. This is the reason I need help—Mia. I can’t go on holding in the anger over the past because then, I will never have peace. And I want peace. It’s been eighteen months and I’m ready for some peace.
 

Zoe
 

After my brief run in with my aunt, I’m regretting even waking up this morning. I’m a stupid idiot for not remembering she lived in Sulfur Heights, but my mind was so focused on getting away from Terrance that I didn’t recall it. Now I’m forced to face a member of my family when all I ever wanted to do was forget them. Aunt Connie was always nice, and I know she’s not like my mother or her daughter, but she’s still family and I vowed the day I was banished to never trust family again.
 

The August morning was sweltering and now the early afternoon is no better. I pull into the apartment complex and find my way to Connie’s apartment. The ache in my gut is either telling me to run or to eat; I can’t tell which as I lift my hand to knock on the door. The door swiftly opens and Aunt Connie is there with a big smile on her face.
 

She’s freshened up and looks better than a couple hours ago. Now I know what the pain in my gut is, I’m starving. The aroma of garlic bread and Aunt Connie’s homemade red sauce has me drooling to taste her spaghetti. I haven’t eaten a meal like this in ages.
 

I step through the doorway and get a quick look around. It’s a pretty small space with a living area to the right and dining area on the left, which leads to a small galley style kitchen. I look around at the walls, but nothing really covers them. No pictures of grandkids or family portraits—nothing except old photos from the nineties.
 

Aunt Connie is stirring the sauce in the kitchen when I walk through, inhaling deeply. I can’t wait to eat, my stomach is dying. “Can…can I help with anything?” I ask.
 

“Sure, honey, you can set the table. Will you go into the linen closet in the hall by the bathroom and grab the green table cloth from the top shelf, please?” I look at her with confusion, knowing we don’t need to fancy things up for me, yet I don’t say anything.
 

I turn down the hall, walking to the back of the apartment and stand just outside the bedroom. I take a minute to peek through the door and notice it’s filled with children’s toys, a crib and other little kid things. I remember earlier this morning she had toys in her sacks and now I’m really confused. She has no recent pictures anywhere in the apartment of children. In fact, the only kid hanging on the walls is Sophia, but she was in middle school when that picture was taken.
 

When I pull the tablecloth from the top shelf I notice it’s vinyl and chuckle to myself. Does she really think I will make that big of a mess eating spaghetti? Although, when my stomach roars angrily again, I start to think the tablecloth is needed.
 

I stroll back up the hall just as the front door opens. Walking through the front door is the mysterious psycho and in his arms is the cutest little girl. My jaw slams to the floor and my throat feels like it’s being choked. I’m feeling strangled as I stand frozen yet again. Our eyes connect, and I can see his transform from confused to angry in a matter of seconds.
 

Oh. My. God. This can’t be happening. Is this really happening?
 

“Nanny!” The little girl squeals as the man releases her from his arms and she goes running to my aunt. I break my gaze from him and look over to the little girl. She’s babbling to Aunt Connie, who is intently listening as she holds the little tyke in her arms.
 

Nanny? How’s that possible unless this man is the father of Sophia’s baby. But when I look at the little girl, I see that she looks nothing like Sophia. She looks a lot like him, but not even a faint trace of Sophia is reflected in that little girl.
 

I turn my gaze back to him as he continues to stand there glaring at me, almost murdering me with his eyes. Oh. Shit. The word Gavin has said to me last night comes crashing back at me.
Incident
. He’s had an incident in the past, which I’m sure is something terrible.
 

I right my posture in an attempt to look taller than I already am, trying to give him the impression I won’t take his shit. To show him I’m tough and I won’t be another
incident
for his past.
 

“Zoe, come here, child. I want to introduce you to my friends.” Aunt Connie breaks up our gaze, and I look over to her. I will my feet to start moving down the hallway while the man doesn’t take his sight off me. I can feel his glare digging into my back, and it’s sending heated vibes throughout my body.
 

When I approach Aunt Connie, the little girl in her arms is smiling big and her eyes are pulling me in, like the way his do. “Zoe, this is Mia, the little girl I babysit. Mia, can you say hi
to Zoe?”
 

“Hi,” she says with excitement and waves her hand wildly at me. I can’t help grinning at the little girl and get sucked into her charms. Normally, kids freak me out, but she’s doesn’t seem so bad. “Zzzzzzooooooeeee!” Mia wiggles out of Aunt Connie’s arms and runs down the hall. She vanishes out of sight, but you can hear the clanking of toys getting shuffled around in her toy box.
 

“Drake, this is my niece, Zoe. She’s in town for a couple of months and I ran into her at the store today. I thought we could sit around and have lunch together.” Aunt Connie is smiling big, turning her head to look between the two of us. “Oh, Drake, what happened to your cheek?” I didn’t even notice that the side of his face is slightly bruised and swollen.
 

“Jake,” he answers. Aunt Connie nods her head in acceptance of his answer as I remain confused. Since I know Drake is Darcie’s brother, and when I had my audition at the bar Jake was there, I can assume this is the same Jake they are referring to.
 

Suddenly, a large crash comes from the back room. “Mia?” Aunt Connie says then turns to us. “I will go check on her. Drake, can you put that table cloth under her chair. Lord knows I don’t need spaghetti all over my carpet.” With that she scurries down the hall to check on Mia.
 

Drake snatches the tablecloth out of my hands and shakes it out. He then picks up the chair and sets if off to the side before laying the tablecloth on the floor and setting the chair back down on top of the cover. I still have yet to move, however I’m starting to unthaw as I look over at him. I wonder if my aunt knows he has an incident in his past. I wonder if she knows he’s a psychopath.
 

Drake moves from the dining area and starts pulling dishes out of the cupboard. He’s very comfortable here, almost like he lives here or something. He stacks the glasses and silverware on top of the plates then moves to the table, situating each place setting. Each time he sets a dish down, it sounds even louder than it did before.
 

Finding my courage, I decide to speak to him. “What the hell is your problem?” Okay, it’s probably not the best thing to say to a brooding mental patient, but he’s really starting to piss me off.
 

Drake snaps his head up, his eyes ablaze and angry. “You could have told me.” His voice is low and menacing.
 

“Told you what?” I whisper back, trying to understand what he’s talking about.
 

When Mia comes barreling down the hallway, breaking up the conversation, Drake’s expression quickly changes to happy as he gets a look at his daughter. I turn to watch her as she runs full-on to me, carrying an orange stuffed animal that looks familiar. She lifts her arms, asking me to hold her.
 

I look to my aunt who’s smiling ear to ear. “She wants to show you something.”
 

I bend at the knees and pick the little girl up into my arms. She’s lighter than I’ve expected and smells like baby powder, but her eyes are what suck me in. They are so beautiful and nothing like her father’s. Drake’s are so dark they look black, but Mia’s… well, they are a golden brown and shiny.
 

“Zoe!” Mia says excitedly. “Her like Elmo?” I nod my head up and down, realizing this
weird looking doll must be on Sesame Street. “Her pretty,” Mia states then squirms out of my lap.
 

Drake picks Mia up in his arms, places her in the chair and then puts a bib around neck. I help Aunt Connie bring the food to the table and then we all dish up our plates. I choose to sit on the other side of Aunt Connie so I don’t have to be so close to Drake, however every once in a while, our eyes will connect and he’ll glare at me. This is hands down the most awkward meal I’ve ever experienced.
 

Drake
 

I’ve said it before and I will probably say it again and again, life’s got away of totally fucking with me. When I walked through Mrs. Field’s front door, that’s exactly what happened—life fucked with me. There is no other explanation for how Zoe—the girl who’s been in the forefront of my mind—is standing in front of me. I don’t know who this girl is, but lately, she’s been showing up at every place I find peaceful. She’s interrupting my peace, and it’s pissing me off.
 

After dinner, Mrs. Fields plays with Mia in the living room while Zoe and I are left cleaning up the mess. I still can’t shake this feeling about her, and I hate that she’s here. This is my place of solace. I feel like, when I’m here, I can just be and the evil of everything outside of this door is gone, but now that’s destroyed. Zoe is related to Mrs. Fields, and there’s nothing I can do or say to get her away from here. Then to top it all off, Zoe works for my brother at the bar where I like to escape on Saturday nights.
 

We say nothing as we rinse the dishes off and place them in the dishwasher. Zoe scrapes the leftover food into a container and places it in the fridge. I catch her staring at me every so often, and it’s making me uncomfortable.
 

I can’t hold my tongue any longer. I peek my head around the wall to make sure Mia is distracted then I snap my glare back to her. “Do you mind?”
 

“What?” she snaps back then firmly shuts the fridge door.
 

“You keep looking at me, and it’s really pissing me off.” I sound childish, I know, but this is very uncomfortable. I saw this woman in the bar, and for some unknown reason, she has made me look up. There’s something about her that angers me, yet more than that, there’s something about her that terrifies me.
 

“Get over yourself, would ya? I was just trying to figure out why fate would do this to me, but luckily for you, I’ll be gone as soon as I make enough money.” With that, she sets the dish towel down and moves to the living room to accompany the ladies, which leaves me to stew by myself, trying to figure out why her last statement pisses me off so much.
 

***
 

In the late afternoon, I decide to let Mia have another short nap before we head back home. She’s getting rather cranky and needs a little catnap to be in better spirits for the rest of the day. After I put her down, Mrs. Fields is trying to keep the conversation between Zoe and me alive by asking us boring, mundane questions. I find it annoying, however I refuse to say anything.
 

“So, Zoe, where do you work?” she asks.
 

Zoe clears her throat and glances at me briefly. “Ummm…I bartend at
The Slab
on the weekends.” Mrs. Fields looks over to me then back to Zoe. Then she starts to chuckle. We both look at her and back to each other. What the hell? “What’s so funny, Aunt Connie?”
 

“It’s just that I knew you guys recognized each other when he walked in.” She points to me then wipes the tears from her eyes. I didn’t think it was that funny. “The looks on your faces were priceless. I may be old, but that doesn’t mean I don’t notice things.”