Surviving Love (17 page)

“Fair enough, but you have to tell me one thing.” I snap my glare to him, not wanting to spoil the night and my chances of finally having him in my bed. “Tell me what the hell we’re listening to.”
 

Drake
 

When I step into her apartment, I am shocked at the little amount of stuff she has. Just an air mattress, computer and small stereo—that’s it. She’s been living here for a while, so I guess I’ve been expecting to see a real bed or maybe a picture or two, however there is nothing. She has no roots here or anywhere. It makes me feel sad for her and appreciative of the family I do have.
 

Although we’ve had our troubles in the past, I know I’m better off being with my family than being alone. After Presley died, it took me a little while to realize that, but I’m so glad I have. Jeremy aside because he’s not my family anymore, and when I think of my family today, my mind excludes him.
 

I’m glad she has told me she doesn’t want to exchange our past stories because I have no intention of telling her mine and have decided to change the mood to something lighter. Zoe seems offended when I ask about her music, and it causes her to pop up from the air mattress.
 

“This…” She points to the stereo. Her speech is slurred slightly and I know she’s feeling a little drunk. I’m actually feeling pretty good myself, though I’m not quite as bad as she’s appearing to be. “…is Etta James.” I give her an incredulous look and she rolls her eyes then falls to the floor, attempting to change the song.
 

The sound of bluesy guitar riffs start to flood the apartment and a woman with a sultry, deep voice pipes through the speakers. Her passion is electrifying as she sings about watching the love of her life walk away with someone else. It gets me thinking about what Zoe’s past could be. Has she been burned by someone she loved? Has she had to watch the love of her life walk away from her?
 

Before I get too much time to think, Zoe gets up and pulls me with her, standing in front of me with our bodies very close together. She grabs my arms and wraps them around her waist then trails her hands up my torso and chest, wrapping her arms around my neck.
 

“Dance with me?” she questions.
 

As I start to move, her hips sway slowly to the music as the song changes to Otis Redding’s “These Arms of Mine”, and I’m proud I actually know this song. We say nothing as we circle slowly around the room, holding each other as well as our broken hearts. I feel the guilt starting to build, but in my intoxicated state, I find it easy to push it away. I find it effortless to simply enjoy this moment before my guilt overshadows what I want to do with her.
 

Zoe
 

I allow the music to take over my body and I completely immerse myself in the heartbreak of it. Although I have never been walked away from by a man, I know what it’s like to be betrayed by someone I love. And whenever I listen to blues music, I’m transported back in time and reacquainted with those feelings of hurt.
 

Drake says nothing as we move around the room, holding each other, feeling each other’s pain. I rest my head on his shoulder and completely fall into him. I’m comfortable in his arms, protected even, and I don’t want this feeling to end. I’ve never experienced this kind of contentment with a man before. I thought Terrance was someone I was in love with, but after the limited time I’ve spent around people who are truly in love, I know it could have never been love. What Terrance and my relationship was, wasn’t love—it was a joke.
 

One of Drake’s hands slowly starts to trail up my back, sending tingles up my spine. He then leans down and plants a kiss to the top of my head. I’m taken off guard by his actions, but I want nothing more than to feel his body on top of mine.
 

I break away from him and look into his eyes. They mirror mine—broken by someone we love, and now—in this moment—we can take each other’s pain away.
 

Bravely, I move my hands down his chest and to the bottom of his shirt, keeping my eyes planted on his. Then the pads of my fingers connect with his naked skin. I inch them up from his waistband and rest them on top of his very tight abdomen muscles. Drake closes his eyes, taking pleasure in my touch. I can feel how much he wants me as his erection pushes into and rubs against my body. When he opens his eyes again, his dark, broken pools are lit with a fire. I fall helplessly into him. I know in this moment that nothing else matters except him and me. We are all that matters right now, and I want nothing more than to feel him on top of me and inside of me.
 

“Drake…” I whisper, trying to find the right words without begging.
 

“I can’t give you anything more,” he says as the brokenness slowly starts to trickle back into his eyes. I look him over, still struggling once again to find the right thing to say, when Drake sighs deeply and faintly whispers, “This is all I can give you because I’m nothing but a shell. You have to understand, I no longer have anything left inside of me to give.” And I fully understand. He’s been burned—scorched by someone he loves—and there is no need for an explanation.
 

Truthfully, I let my own pain form into words and float out into the air. I look honestly into his eyes as I let him understand that we’ve come together through our pain. “Me, neither.”
 

Drake
 

I am having a battle inside myself. This woman’s had me in a tailspin since she walked into the bar. My body has craved to feel her pressed up against me.
 

Acting on a whim, I kiss the top of her head. I’m letting her know something, but I don’t know what that something is quite yet. She takes my cue and touches my skin. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a touch like hers and it burns. My skins lights on fire as I crave to feel hers in return. I want this. I want to feel a woman again, if only for a few hours. I want to know what it’s
like to be with someone in that way again. I just want her.
 

“Me, neither,” Zoe whispers back and sparks my desires to full-on lust.
 

I grab a hold of the back of my shirt and rip it over my head. She has no time to react when I then yank her shirt off along with mine. The carnal beast inside of me has taken over my body, and there is only one thing on its mind.
 

Zoe reaches around and unclasps her bra, freeing her breasts. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my lips, but I avoid them like the plague, taking an old rule from Jake’s book. I want to avoid any move that can spark emotions in the other person. Instead, I plant my mouth on her jaw and trail my lips down her long, swan-like neck. It’s so beautiful and her skin is so soft. My tongue slips from my mouth as I taste and nip my way down to her collarbone then over to the other side.
 

Zoe lets out a sensual moan, and I can hear the desire as it escapes her throat. I break myself free from her neck then push her back at arm’s length. She only stares, bewildered at what I’m going to do. I take her by surprise, pushing her down on the air mattress, before I fall down on top of her, kissing my way over to her breast and suckling her nipple.
 

As I put it into my mouth, her nipple becomes taut and hard; it buds under my lips. Zoe is writhing underneath me, grinding herself against my dick. I move over to her other breast and continue the onslaught with her other nipple. She’s moaning and quivering, ready to feel me inside of her.
 

Before I allow anything to stop me, I sit up on my knees and unfasten her jeans. She lifts her hips slightly, allowing me to pull them over her ass, down her thighs and over her knees. I toss them to the floor and look at her lying under me, wearing nothing but a black, lace thong.
 

I move down her body with my lips, kissing and biting her hot, slick skin until I find my way to the hem of her panties. I pull them off her body before I stand, undoing my own jeans and sliding them down. Zoe sits up on her knees with her eyes glazed over, oozing sex, and then grabs my dick in her hand.
 

She strokes it slowly from the tip down to the base and then back up. Her mouth comes forward and I feel her soft, supple lips wrap around my cock. Heat and pleasure erupt inside my body. It’s been so long since I’ve felt comfortable to even touch myself that to now have Zoe’s mouth sucking my dick… makes me want to live in this moment forever.
 

She strokes my cock as she starts to quickly pump it in and out of her mouth. I can feel I’m close, but I don’t want completion this way. I pull her from me and push her back on the bed. I settle myself between her legs, and before another thought surfaces in my brain, I shove my dick inside her body and shudder. Her entrance is tight and warm, sucking me in deeper as I hold myself still inside her.
 

Zoe releases another moan, and it awakens my sleeping libido. I push hard, slow and deep. She screams, her voice mirroring the aching vocals coming from the stereo. I pull back, hold myself still, then push hard once again, knowing she’s about to unravel around me. I slightly lift my hips, grab her long, sexy legs and hook them over my shoulders. When I return my hands to the mattress, I lean down, putting her face close to mine as I fold her in half. She comes instantly as her body starts to quiver uncontrollably and she screams my name. The sounds coming from
her body are intoxicating. I can feel my balls getting heavy and my thighs burning for my own release.
 

I pull her legs down and start to move, fast. I thrust my body in and out of her, so quick and hard. Zoe handles my movement, meeting me thrust for thrust. I can feel the familiar build and its then I realize I’m not wearing a condom. Fuck! I’m not going to last too much longer and I’m not going to blow my load inside of her.
 

“Zoe…” I say through faint breaths. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna come.”
 

“It’s okay. Here.” She pushes me off her and I make it to my feet. She sits up swiftly to her knees and sucks my throbbing, hard dick back into her mouth. Zoe wildly sucks my dick until I can no longer hold it back. My head falls back out of sheer, unadulterated pleasure. When I tip my head forward, I grab the back of her neck, grasping her hair in my hand as I start to fuck her mouth.
 

I pump my hips rapidly until the warmth of my come pours from my body and down her throat. She sucks every last drop, savoring my taste. When I’m finally done, I fall to the air mattress, pulling her down with me. I am spent, drained. My energy is gone as I lie back and fall fast asleep.
 

Chapter 16
 

Zoe
 

I awaken a couple hours later from the most incredible sex I’ve ever had. Drake is passed out next to me, completely naked and sprawled across my king size air mattress. The only light in my apartment is glowing from my stereo, but it provides enough light to look at him. He is a really beautiful man with his rock hard chest, well defined abdomen muscles, and the ever present V trailing down to his wonderful cock. I can’t take my eyes off it, and it’s not like I haven’t seen a man naked before, yet Drake’s cock is perfect. From the base where it extends from his body to the tip, it’s the perfect size and length to fit inside me—it is unbelievable.
 

I can’t help myself, I need to touch it. I want him to be hard because I need to feel his dick inside of me again. I keep my eyes on his sleeping face as I slowly move my hand over to his body and put him in my hand. It only takes a couple of long, slow strokes to have it hard in my hand. It’s as hard as stone yet as soft and smooth as the finest silk.
 

I keep my hand on him, slowly bringing it to life. I move my face close to his. His lips are full and very sexy, and I want to feel them against mine. As I lean forward, I get within a centimeter when Drake’s eyes fly open. They are angry, maybe scared, or confused. It’s hard to tell, but I know they are not happy.
 

He rolls over on top of me, pinning my shoulders down to the mattress. My hand releases his dick and lies lifeless to my side. It’s then I get to look into his eyes. They are molten and angry. I start to feel scared. I know he has a history of rage-filled outbursts and I’ve been so sure they were gone, but now I can see the fury that lies underneath.
 

“Don’t…” he whispers, putting his face so close to mine. “Don’t ever try to kiss me.” The tone coming from him is low and dark. He climbs off me and stands to his feet then reaches for his jeans.
 

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I have to know why he is so against kissing.
 

I grab his jeans from his hands and toss them back to the floor. I get to my feet and stand tall, so I can confront this angry man. I know it’s wrong, however I’m just stupid enough to follow through with it.
 

“Tell me why,” I demand.
 

“Because it doesn’t belong to you.” He bends to get his jeans again, but I kick them out of his reach. Drake’s eyes ignite as he turns fully to me. The muscles in his arms are rock hard and the tension I’ve seen when we first met is back.
 

“What the fuck does that mean?” I’m walking on unsteady ground, brushing my way to his edge, and one wrong move will topple me over the side.
 

Drake steps close to me, putting no distance between us. He lifts his hands, cupping my cheeks and it’s then I think he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks me back to the wall and pushes me against it. It’s a little painful, but I’m too overwhelmed to stop him from whatever he’s going to do.
 

Drake leans forward, our foreheads touching. Then his eyes transform back into the broken
pieces of black glass I’m used to seeing. He glances to my lips and back up to my eyes. “Because kissing falls in the category of
more
,
and I will never be able to give you that.”His breath is hot against my lips. He’s so close we are practically kissing with the air we expel from our lungs.