Surviving Passion (5 page)

            “H—” she started before her voice quickly failed her. She cleared her throat as she bent down to show the other fish the same courtesy and spoke clearly. “How are you doing that?”

            “You wait until they’re calm. Then, very slowly, put your hand on their heads and press them down into the bottom. Gravel is good, but sand is the best,” he explained quietly, his eyes tracking his next victim. “If you’re slow enough, they never struggle.”

Of course,
she thought, mulling that over as she fought the persistent urge to study his body.

            “They never know they’re being hunted. How lucky. You should try this on some other things,” Selena ventured boldly before she could stop herself. She’d never felt more hunted than she had last night, and so far, he hadn’t bothered to reassure her in any way.

            “I do, when I have the time for it,” he answered quietly. Selena eyed him thoughtfully. She couldn’t decide if he was he was uncommonly hard to read or if her years of isolation were responsible for the difficulty. It must be both, she assumed, but there was no denying that there was a disciplined, stony quality about him. Selena deliberated on her situation and decided she must assume any sense of security she might feel around him was probably false. For now, there was nothing to do but to be vigilant and play along. It did occur to her that he hadn’t used any more force than necessary to stop her, so perhaps he wasn’t a complete animal. She didn’t think she was in any immediate mortal danger with him. She sighed. That still didn’t make her a free woman, though.

            “Do you want to cook these up now?” she forced herself to ask.

            He nodded. She brought the first four back up the hill with her, cleaned them swiftly with her little dagger and then set about preparing a fire. She chose dry wood and kindling which would release the least smoke while burning. It was a good habit. There were excellent trackers out there. If they found your campsite, they’d find you. Selena never took chances.

            By the time Dan returned with the rest of his catch, the fish were crisping over a makeshift spit. He had four more on a string, which he hung on a low branch. When the fish were ready he unrolled a couple of leather pieces to serve as plates. Selena wondered if he enjoyed picking the meat off the fish as much as she did. She stole a glance at his big fingers struggling to work it out from between the tiny bones.
Probably not. Oh well,
she thought smugly.
You’ve got to have
some
challenge in life.

            Between the lovely weather and their civil conversation by the stream, Selena almost felt normal, but every time she relaxed, her stress reasserted itself. These fears would not be ignored. It was like several drummers playing, with one of them loudly off beat. She could not give in to her fight or flight instincts. Words were all she had left. Could he be reasoned with?

            “You said the other day that
we
needed a leatherworker,” Selena reminded him carefully as they ate.

            “Yes.”

            “Who’s ‘we’?”

            “Regular group of people. Most young, in their twenties and thirties. Got a couple in their forties. Only eleven of us, not counting the kids I mentioned. Seven men including me. Four women. Every one skilled.”

            “Who runs this place?” Selena inquired as casually as possible. She had a feeling she knew the answer.

            “Everyone. Group decisions.”

Why do I find that hard to believe?
Selena wondered grimly.

            “We’re free to make our own choices, unless it has an impact on the others,” he continued. “If it’s going to cause difficulty for anyone else, then we have to come to the best agreement we can.”

            “When does this start applying to me?” Selena blurted.

            He ignored that, so she asked another question, trying to restore normalcy to the conversation.

            “What are your goals?”

            “Simple. We want to see that everyone’s needs are met. See that we can defend ourselves. Since I’m out a lot, one of my jobs is to bring in new people. Recruitment.”

            Selena couldn’t suppress a guffaw. “
Recruitment?
Is that what this is? Because I thought it was kidnapping. Dragging women off against their will and such.”

            “This is not … common,” he said, scratching the back of his neck absently.

            Selena stole a glance at him. Maybe she
could
talk her way out of this.

            “Why me?” she asked.

            He lifted his gaze to her before answering, “You wouldn’t come willingly and it seems to me you’ve been out there alone a long time. You’ve done okay for yourself so far, which is a miracle as far as I can tell; with you running around recklessly and leaving trails so obvious a boy scout could follow. Folks don’t get a lot of second chances when they’re out on their own and something bad happens. Safety in numbers.”

            “Maybe for you.”

            Dan didn’t respond but went on. “Our leatherworker died recently. Got sick. He was up there in years. In his sixties. None of us really know the ins and outs of the trade, and it’s obvious you’re better with leather than anything else I’ve seen you do.” Selena bristled at the insult. Was that a faint hint of amusement playing around his mouth? It was gone in an instant. Now he fixed her with that piercing gaze of his and continued, “When you get there, you may start to remember that people aren’t solitary animals. But if you keep
this
up, you’ll wind up dead. Or crazy, and then dead. Waste is stupid.”

            “And what if I’m not better off with your people, Dan?” She asked, failing to keep the spite out of her voice and making herself meet his stare.
Who is he to think he knows what’s best for me? To criticize my lifestyle?
“I’m pretty sure your little community is just as good for me as those damned cowboys you ‘rescued’ me from, and I’m better off hell and gone from you and yours.”

            He shot her a reproachful look before answering, “Then you walk out with only what you brought in.”

            “And maybe a little less,” she added quietly.

            The discussion had soured her remaining appetite. Selena stood haughtily and went stomping down the hill.
At least I upset him,
she thought, and a little satisfaction mingled with her growing apprehension at the thought of living with others. Selena wished she had the courage to confront him about his behavior last night as an example, but she was much too embarrassed.

            She reached the bank of the stream and sat down on a big rock that lay nearby. Skipping stones to try and take her mind off her worries, she stole an occasional glance up the hill. Dan was packing up. She thought she could discern the slightest betrayal of irritation in his movements.

            They would ride on soon.
I’m sure he wants to dump me off as soon as possible now. Maybe the conversation wasn’t a waste after all.

            It was still early when they moved on. Their trek took them through the wild, forested hills for the remainder of the day, and another night passed uneventfully. Yet again, Selena slept more deeply than usual.
Must be the stress
, she decided as the morning found her surprisingly rested and refreshed.

            There was even less talk than usual so Selena had plenty of time to think. She was beginning to wonder if she was being too negative about her predicament. It could be worse, after all. Dan hadn’t abused her, and that was better fortune than she could have ever expected. Running was surely the worst thing she could have done to provoke him. He
had
managed to control himself. If he hadn’t taken advantage of her in that moment, maybe he never would. Perhaps the others were like him or, hopefully, less threatening. And what if, by some miracle, they were decent?
Still ... four women, seven men ...

            Selena sighed.
While I’m stuck in this, I may as well hope for the best
, she told herself. Preparing for the worst came all too naturally. Maybe no one would give her a hard time. Maybe her parents were wrong, or maybe she’d be lucky this time and there would be no bad apples. It was a long shot and she knew it.

            If Selena had opened up a bit, Dan was the opposite. He seemed more brusque with her than ever. She wondered why he would be so bothered about what she’d said. For some reason, his attitude upset her. She knew that it was silly and he was the last person whose opinion should matter to her, but at this point, he was the only person she knew. Was she expected to roll over after everything he’d done? Yet he could turn cold to her just because of a few harsh words born of fear that was justified? Hadn’t he himself fought for restraint just the other night? Selena’s hair stood up as the memory came back in a flash: the muggy heat radiating from their bodies, the pressure of his hips holding her against the tree and his burning stare. The way he had looked at her lips. It was the third time he had used his body weight to restrain her, she realized. It was effective, but there were side effects. Each situation was more intense than the one before. Maybe it was only physical attraction, or maybe her defiance triggered his desire.

            Selena rubbed her wrists absently while mulling these things over. There was no soreness, she realized, frowning down at them. She could find no trace of bruising or even scraping. Something bothered her about that. It was several minutes before she managed to isolate why. She had never felt more physically helpless than when he forced her into submission. It was curious enough that he was so strangely skilled at incapacitating a person, but that he should do it without any injury whatsoever to his target was beyond Selena’s ability to explain. She eyed him as he rode in front of her, wishing that she could read his mind just by watching him. He was so perceptive. Sometimes she wondered if mind-reading was
his
secret.

            Selena felt a haze of confusion as the big picture began to emerge in her mind. Since their paths had crossed, she had run from him, fought him, and even tried to take his life but he hadn’t so much as scratched her in his own defense. Maybe she was a worse person than he was. If Dan had been honest with her, he had only done what he thought was right, no matter how misguided his actions seemed. Selena shook her head reflexively. He still hadn’t the right to dictate her life, and she couldn’t simply forgive him for dominating her so forcefully.

            As the sun began to sink towards the horizon, they made their way to the summit of the highest hill. Selena wasn’t quite sure whether it was, in fact, a small mountain.

            Dan halted his mount as the view opened up before them and leaned forward on his saddle horn. Selena pulled up just behind, and took a breath. They were perched at the edge of a small crater on what seemed to be the only trail in or out. Below them green foliage climbed the arm of land that rose up in a protective circle around the depression within. There was an expansive pond to the northeast. Scattered dark brown wooden buildings were nestled amongst the trees. It looked like a perfect sanctuary for people who didn’t want to be found. Dan reined Buck to the right, and led Selena to her new home.
It’s only temporary
, she told herself.

            They followed the crooked path as it wound its way down into the steep, oak covered hill. They reached the valley in minutes, and the trees grew sparser, making space for tall grass. Some horses grazed ahead off to their right. One of them lifted its head, eyeing them before letting out a neigh. Buck returned the greeting. Soon, the first of the dark brown buildings was in sight. Its open doors revealed saddles, bridles and other horse tack inside. Before they reached it, Dan let out a piercing whistle. Selena jumped at the sudden noise. Within moments, four people came out to greet them, all eyes on her. She stared at the ground and tried to be calm but now that the moment had come and these strangers were converging on her, it was very difficult. She hoped she didn’t look as frightened as she felt. There were two men, a boy and an older woman.

            Dan dismounted and handed the reins to the boy who looked to be about twelve. “Thanks, Tim.”

            The boy nodded, patted Buck on the neck, and waited.

            “Well I’d ask how the salvage went but that seems pretty obvious,” one of the men said when he’d drawn close. He stood at average height and like Dan, was also well muscled. His receding, strawberry blonde hair was cropped short and his clear blue eyes twinkled with humor and mischief. As soon as he reached them, he folded his arms over his chest and stood with his legs apart. “Hello Miss. My name’s Cal.”

            Dan gave him a look before turning to the saddlebags on Star.

            “I’m Selena,” she replied after a nervous pause.

            The other male hardly seemed a man yet. Selena guessed he was in his late teenage years. He was toned of course, but wiry. A frizzy mop of auburn hair sat untamed over his long, unperturbed face. His half-lidded eyes looked bored and the set to his mouth, droll. He seemed quite the opposite of Cal.

            “She looks pissed, Dan,” the young man said flatly. “Why can’t you ever play nice?”

            Dan ignored this as he tossed a bulging sack at each of them. Cal grinned as he caught his easily.

            “Ben,” the young man said to her, lifting a hand half-heartedly to shake hers.

            Selena forced the corners of her mouth up briefly and guessed that he wouldn’t buy her fake enthusiasm. She tried to ignore the way their eyes lingered on her as she finally dismounted. By the time she turned to face them again, Dan was unceremoniously walking away with Ben and Cal following. Cal at least shot her a wave as he turned to go.

            Selena felt strangely disconcerted as Dan left her there, but as the young boy took Star’s reins and led the horses away, the short, husky woman approached Selena with a casual smile.