Surviving Raine 01 (22 page)

“You didn’t?”

“I didn’t drink then,” I said.  “I would have a beer or something, maybe a glass of scotch, but I didn’t ever get drunk.  Jillian drank a lot.”

“I’m sorry,” Raine said.  “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s all right,” I replied.  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a minute, and then kept going.  “That shit doesn’t really matter, anyway.  Basically, we hit it off.  She came to the room they had set up for me, and we fucked all night.  That wasn’t unusual, but what was different was that she stayed there until morning.  I usually kicked the chicks out of the room afterwards.  I didn’t like having them there when I was trying to sleep.  What was even weirder was what happened when we got back to Seattle.  She was at my apartment more often than not; she was at all of my games, betting shitloads of her daddy’s money on me, and we’d fuck like rabbits at least four times a day.  We went on like that for about six weeks, and everything was perfect, as far as I was concerned.”

“Before Jillian, I was with a different girl most every night.  After tournaments, it was more like two or three of them would come back to the hotel with me.  You would have thought switching to a one-woman relationship would have been hard for me, but it wasn’t.  I loved it.  I loved being with her; I loved coming home and having her there with me in the apartment, and I loved turning other women down because I was with someone.  It’s like that was how I was supposed to be. I guess I just didn’t know I was that kind of boy before then.”

“I felt like there was finally something good in my life – something that meant something.  I started talking to her about maybe retiring.  It’s not like I needed any more money at that point.  I’d been in tournaments for over six years by then and had enough money to live off the interest forever.  Jillian’s family was loaded, so there wasn’t any need for us to do anything other than whatever we wanted to do.  I figured we’d be set, and she wouldn’t worry about me when I was…well, when I was working.”

“That changed a bit when I came back early from a trip.  Some tournament that ended up being cancelled – not sure why.  It happened occasionally.  Either the local authorities started snooping around or whoever was supposed to be backing it up financially ended up in a river.  Regardless, I came back early.  We had an office building downtown, and I stopped off there before going back to the apartment.  It should have been empty, but…well…it wasn’t.  I walked into the office, and when I opened the door…”

I stopped and let the tension wash over me.  My hands were clenched into fists, and my throat went dry.  I couldn’t even say it.

“What the fuck?”  He lifted his head up and looked towards the door.  He looked familiar, but I couldn’t remember his name.

“Bastian!  You aren’t supposed to be back yet!”

“Wha…what…?”  I couldn’t even get any words out.

“She was with someone else, wasn’t she?”

“Um…”  I had to clear my throat to continue.  “Yeah.”

“Oh, Bastian.”  Raine’s hand stroked from my temple to the back of my head.  “I’m sorry.  That must have been horrible.”

“It was,” I agreed.  “I stormed off, and she followed me back to my place.  She said it was a mistake.  She missed me, and she was lonely and she swore it wouldn’t happen again, so I forgave her and we made up.  The second time it happened…”

I heard Raine gasp, but I didn’t pause.

“…I told her I couldn’t live like that.  I needed her to be with me only, and I didn’t know how to trust her anymore.  She said she’d never do it again, and then she said she wanted to…um…make a gesture.  She wanted to do something special to show me how she felt.”

I stopped talking.

“Fuck, I can’t do this.”

“It’s okay, Bastian,” Raine said, her hand on the side of my face again.  “Just take some deep breaths, and talk when you’re ready.”

I nodded and tried to do what Raine told me.

“What did she do, Bastian?”

“It’s not what she did,” I clarified.  “It’s what she asked me to…well, or let me…fuck.”

I stopped talking again and sat up.  Raine’s hands fell away from me, and I watched her sit up as well.  It took me several deep breaths before I could convince myself to go on with this shit.

“I’d always been really, really careful when it came to sex,” I told her.  “I’d never fucked without a condom.  Ever.  Not once.  Not even when I was with Theresa as a teenager and certainly not when I was with different women all the time.  I got checked out every six months – everything you’re supposed to do.”

“Jillian said she’d prove how much we meant to each other by letting me…” I grimaced, remembering her words and how they made me feel like she meant everything she said.  I remembered how much I wanted it even though I hadn’t even considered it before.  I remembered how fucking stupid I was.  “She said she’d let me…come in her.  She said doing that would prove how much she wanted us to be together – how much we should trust each other.  She was on the pill…she
said
she was on the pill.  Fuck, I wish I had a drink…or at least a fucking cigarette.”

I ran my hands through my hair, reached over for a cup of water, and downed it quickly as if it were a shot of vodka.

“Looking back…well…I was just a fucking moron, I guess.”  I had to keep going, or there was no way I would be able to finish.  “I should have realized what she really wanted.  I don’t know how I
would
have, but I definitely
should
have.”

“We were together for two more months after we…um…changed our habits.  I was on cloud nine, and I had decided to officially retire and ask Jillian to marry me.  I even bought a ring that cost me a whole fucking tournament’s winnings, but I wanted her to have the best.  I hadn’t even met her parents, but I wanted them to know I had just about as much money as they did, so they would know I could take care of her.  Shit, I gave her fucking everything she wanted – the money that woman could spend on shoes alone…”

I stopped and collected myself again so I could speak a little slower.

“I was going to surprise her,” I said.  “I had the ring, and I was going to pick her up at her place and take her out to dinner, maybe walk along the Sound or something to propose.  I was supposed to be training that night, but I blew it off.  Landon was pissed when he found out.  Anyway, I went to her place and she was, again, with another guy.”

“The two times before when I caught her, she immediately began crying and begging me to forgive her.  She had told me how much we were meant to be and how weak she was and all this other bullshit.  This time was different.  When I walked in, they were on the couch and she was riding him – she loved being on top.  She looked over her shoulder when she heard me and just let out this big, exasperated sigh.  She looked back at the guy and told him she’d be back in a minute, got up off of him, and shoved me into the kitchen.  She barely even paused to put a robe on herself.”

“Is this him?”

“Yeah,” Jillian grumbled.  “Give me a minute.  This needs to be done anyway.”

“No problem, babe.”

“I couldn’t even say anything while she stood in front of me and told me we were done, that she was marrying the guy in the other room.  She said what a great fuck I was and how she got what she needed from me.  She rubbed her stomach at that point, but I didn’t get it – not until later.  I was just trying to comprehend the half-million dollar diamond in my pocket and how it was supposed to look on her finger.  I think I must have told her I wanted to marry her because she laughed and said there was no way Daddy would let her marry someone with my background.  She said I wasn’t even close to being what she would consider marrying and that I needed to wise up and realize my place in her society.  She pointed down at her feet when she said that.”

“I ended up just walking out,” I continued.  “I guess I was in shock or something.  I walked back to my apartment, which was a good two hours by foot, trying to understand what had just happened.  I kept replaying the whole thing in my head until I remembered exactly what she had said – that she got what she needed.  At the time, I must have thought she was just talking about the sex, but the image of her rubbing her stomach kept flickering around in my head.  I had just gotten home when I realized exactly what she meant – she was pregnant, and the baby was mine.”

She didn’t make a sound, but Raine moved over so she was sitting very close to me and placed her hand against the small of my back before moving it slowly up to my neck and into my hair.  She leaned against me lightly.

“I went kind of ballistic at that point, I guess,” I went on.  Moving through the rest of this fucked up story had to be quick, or I would never get through it.  “I trashed my apartment before jumping in my car and going about ninety back to her place.  It was too late – they were already gone.  I got on her computer and found out they had bought two tickets to Italy and were leaving that night.”

“That’s when John Paul called,” I said.  “She had called him and I guess told him some of what happened.  He told me to stay right where I was, and he’d come to get me.”

“I didn’t realize you knew John Paul then,” Raine said.

“Yeah, I knew him,” I answered.  “John Paul was Landon’s other fighter, but that’s a whole different story.”

“I’m sorry,” Raine said.  Her fingers began to massage the back of my neck.  “Go on.”

“I wasn’t about to listen to him and stick around.  I wanted to stop her from getting on the plane.  I thought if I could just talk to her and tell her how much I needed her and how I was going to retire and that I had a plan for us…I thought if she would just listen…just for a minute.  I didn’t get the chance because John Paul must have been pretty damn close to her place when he called.  I was backing out of her driveway, and he slammed into the back of my Ferrari, the bastard.  We ended up in a fist fight, and it’s probably a miracle one of us didn’t kill the other.  Maybe we would have, but Landon pulled up, got out of his car, hit me in the side with a Taser, and drove off again.  John Paul knocked me unconscious and hauled me back home.”

“Over the next week, I talked to a few people and figured it all out.  Ian, the guy she was going to marry – he couldn’t have kids, and Jillian’s daddy wouldn’t let her marry someone without the ability to give him an heir.  She’d lose her trust fund if she didn’t have a baby.  She wanted me to father it because I was
pretty
, according to one of her girlfriends, and she heard I was strong and smart.  I must not have been too smart since I was obviously stupid enough to eat what she was feeding me.”

I was silent for a while, thinking about all the people who seemed to know what was going on, all those who left me in the dark as I fell for her lies.  I had been relieved to find out John Paul hadn’t known anything about it – they had been keeping him in the dark as well.  I didn’t find out until much later, but Franks had known from the beginning and had actually arranged for her to be in Colombia to get started on her plan.

"What happened to them?" Raine asked.

"I have no idea," I told her.  "Once I had it figured out, I decided to track her down, but Franks forbid me from doing so.”

“Who is Franks?”

“Oh…um…well,” I hesitated.  Telling her who Franks was would be a mistake – a big one.  “He was one of the guys in the organization.  Kind of a…um…you know – he was important, I guess.”

I changed the subject quickly.

“I didn't care what he said and was going to find her anyway, but Landon stopped me."

"How?"

"By putting a gun to my head."

I grabbed my boarding pass and started heading to the international departure gates.  When I turned the corner, I found myself staring directly at him.

"Get in here," he commanded.

He pulled me by one arm into a storage area.

"I have to go after her, Landon," I said frantically.  "You don't understand.  She's..."

"Pregnant, yes, I know."

“Did everyone fucking know what was happening but me?” I screamed.

“Keep your voice down, dickhead,” Landon snarled.  “Not everyone, but plenty of people. I told you not to get attached to her.  If I had realized you would be stupid enough to ride her bareback, I might have said something more convincing.”

I heard the soft click of the Glock in his hand, just there to make the point.

“She can’t just walk away from me like this,” I insisted.  “She just isn’t thinking about what she’s doing.”

“She obviously thought it all through,” Landon contradicted.  “You are the one who isn’t thinking.”

"I'm going after her!" I yelled and shoved Landon in the chest.  Without even seeing him move or understanding what had happened, I was face first on the floor of the storage room with Landon's knee at the back of my neck.  I felt the cold metal against my temple.

"I don't teach my students all of my tricks, Bastian.  Don't forget that.  I warned you about her, but you weren't interested in listening.  I’m not going to have one of my fighters going after Franks' niece and her fiancé.  Go home."

"I have to talk to her!" I yelled from my supine position.

"If she wanted anything to do with you, she’d be here now," Landon said.  "I know you were stupid enough to fall for her bullshit, but it’s time to smarten yourself up now.”

I tried to twist out of his grip but was completely immobilized.  Part of me tried to memorize just how he was holding me down so I could use it in the future.  The rest of me wanted to end it now.

"Just fucking shoot me then!" I screamed at him.

"No," he said.  "That bitch isn't costing me a fighter.  I need you in the arena in six days."

"Fine!” I growled.  “That sounds like the perfect opportunity!"

"Bastian."  It was the cold, deadly voice.  It was the ‘don't fucking move, and give me your attention’ voice.  It was the voice of complete, murderous rage.  "If you don't win your next three tournaments, I swear I will find that bitch myself and kill her and the baby.  Are we clear?"