Survivor's Remorse: Brothers of Ink and Steel (8 page)

First Sergeant Hitchens sighed in exasperation. “Today? When you pulled the gun on me? Don’t you remember?”

“That wasn’t—”

“No. But you pulled a gun on your superior. President. Platoon Sergeant. Same thing.”

“I would never pull my gun on you, First Sergeant!” Leo protested. First Sergeant Hitchens had been a great mentor for him and Leo liked him.

“When I pull stupid shit like that, you damn well should. Its times like this that I’m glad you survived.”

Leo felt a chill fall over him. It was as if he had stepped into a freezer. “I didn’t know what to do. When I couldn’t contact you or Lieutenant Collins…”

“Sergeant Graves… when the IED took out my Hummer, you stepped in and took charge. When the shit is hitting the fan, nobody knows what to do. Not me. Not Lieutenant Collins, not Captain Lee, not Major Harris. You adapt and overcome. That’s all you can do.”

“But I didn’t overcome. Everyone died.”

“Everyone but you. Sergeant… I believe we are all put on this earth for a reason. Maybe yours was to save those kids today. Maybe yours is to make sure that Lima 6 doesn’t go dark… that they continue to follow the path of light. But one thing is certain, if you had died that day, those kids would be dead now, too. It’s okay to grieve, Sergeant, but life goes on. We all have our bit to play in this life. We have played our parts. Now it up to you to play yours.”

Leo sat up in bed. As his dream bled away he thought of Second Platoon. He smiled sadly as he remembered First Sergeant Ethan Hitchens. He was a good man. They were all good men and women. And now… they were all dead.

Leo flopped back into his bed and sighed as he stared into the darkness, thinking. He had been a tireless recruiter for Lima 6. He had planned on trying to recruit Jamie’s brother. But after what happened today, he wasn’t sure bringing anyone else into the club was such a good idea. They used to be the good guys, the guys in the clean white hats and silver plated guns. But now? Now… he wasn’t so sure. 

CHAPTER EIGHT

Leo hissed in pain as he stared at his face in the mirror in his bathroom and dabbed at the abrasion with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball. He had trailered his quad-bike out into Big Bend Park and spent the morning riding, up until he crashed it.

He had felt totally out of sorts all day yesterday, and woke up feeling the same way today. Rather than sit at home and mope, he had decided to go burn off some energy and try to find some…spark. Something, anything to drag him out of this depression he could feel himself slipping into. He had kept pushing the quad harder and harder, looking for some feeling – fear, excitement, he didn’t care. He kept riding closer and closer to the edge – until he fell off. It was stupid what he was doing, and he knew it, but he didn’t care. He should have died five years ago anyway. Then he had misjudged a turn and had gone ass first into the weeds along the side of the road.

Now his quad was busted up and so was he, but it could have been worse. After he picked himself up and got his quad back on its wheels, he thought he was going to have to walk out when the quad refused to start. Then he discovered the dislodged spark plug wire. When he put that back on, it
finally
started back up. He had obviously bent something, so what should have been a twenty-minute ride to the truck was over an hour... but it would have been an eight-hour walk. Eight hours of walking in this heat, and with no water, would have been no laughing matter.

With his cuts and scrapes cleaned and bandaged, Leo sat on his bed and looked at his knee. No bruising yet, but it hurt like a motherfucker. That knee must have been the first thing that hit the ground and, with the way it felt, he must have landed with all his weight on it. Then the quad landed on
him.

He was still sitting on the bed, flexing the knee and thinking evil thoughts, when his cell rang. Surprised it still worked, he picked up and looked at the display. “Hey, Tuck.”

“Leo. Where you been man? I’ve been trying to reach you.”

“I was out on the quad. I didn’t hear the phone. What’s up?”

“You need to get out to the clubhouse. You’re the only one not here. We’re celebrating Memorial Day… just the members and their old ladies.”

“I don’t know, Tuck. Maybe I should—”

“Maybe you should get your ass on your bike and get out here. Show the rest of the club that we’re still a family.”

***

Leo grimaced as he swung his leg over the bike. He had showered and taken some Tylenol for the coming soreness, but he could feel himself stiffening up already.
I wanted to feel something. Well, I feel something now.

“Glad you could make it,” Tuck said taking Leo into a black-slapping embrace. “Looks like you’re moving kinda slow there, brother. What happened?”

“I was being stupid. Riding too fast. I couldn’t make a turn, ran off the road and—”

“Were you alone?”

“Yeah.”

“You know people can die like that, right? Riding alone in the desert.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Tuck pulled Leo to a stop before they got close enough for the others to overhear. “Leo… look, man… you’ve got to get over this, okay? You’re tearing yourself apart. Getting yourself killed helps no one. And we need you. Lima 6 needs you. Nobody else would have had the guts to do what you did Saturday.”

“I thought you said I was wrong.”

“You were wrong, but not as wrong as letting Ron shoot those kids would have been.”

“What would you have me do, then, Tuck?” Leo snarled as he stared into Tuck’s eyes. “You tell me!”

“Easy! I don’t know. I just know that threatening to shoot a club member because you disagree with them is a dangerous thing.”

“Yeah… sorry, man.”

“It’s okay. You made a tough call, but at least you made one. That’s why we need you. You’re probably the next president of this club and you showed that you are willing to make the tough calls. You also showed you have a conscious. That’s something else this club needs – more now than ever. Come on, let’s join the party.”

Lima 6, with the exception of Ron, Lucas, and Gigolo, went out of their way to include Leo. They knew what he had been through, what he was going through, and they silently signaled their support as they remembered their brothers in arms. The party was a quiet affair of barbecue, beer, and fellowship. Leo understood what the club was doing and he was grateful for their support. He made it a point to circulate and try to reconnect with the members, to let them know that he still supported Lima 6 one hundred percent.

“Ron… Lucas,” Leo said as he completed his rounds. His knee was killing him, and he wanted to sit down, but this was important.

“Leo,” Ron said coolly. 

“Everything all right between us?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” Ron asked. His tone made it clear it was anything but.

“I just wanted to make sure that after Saturday... that we had cleared the air.”

“We voted, and the club decided. I can’t say I’m pleased about having a 9mm pointed at my head, but yeah, unless you do it again, we’re okay.” Ron leaned in a little closer. “But if you do it again, I’ll kill you. Understand?”

Leo didn’t like the threat, but this was not the time, nor the place, and he couldn’t blame Ron for feeling like that. “Understood, but before we start shooting kids, the club needs to vote on that.”

“Fair enough.”

Before Leo could say anything else, his cell rang. He pulled it out and looked at the number. “It’s Carlos,” he said accepting the call. “Leo’s Deli,” he said in case Carlos was in trouble and somebody was listening in.

“Leo. It’s Carlos. I have news. Can you talk?”

“Yeah. Go ahead, Carlos.”

“Okay. But first, you remember our deal?”

“I remember.”

“I’m collecting on our deal. If you want the news, you have to get me and my family out.”

“Are you sure, Carlos? If you run they’re going to know it was you that was funneling us the information. What about the rest of your family?”

“I have no other family, just my wife and children. Is it a deal? If I tell you this information, you will get my family out of Mexico and get us papers for living in the United States?”

“We have a deal, Carlos. We’ll honor it.”

“The cartel, they’re coming after you, Leo. They are coming after Lima 6. The last stop you made, the one with the kids. That is the straw, Leo. I didn’t know, but that is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.”

“What are you talking about, Carlos?” Leo asked, plugging one ear with a finger and walking away from the group for some quiet.

“I don’t know. The cartel, they know someone is selling them out. They know you are intercepting too many shipments for it to be accidental. I didn’t know about the last one, the one with the kids. They didn’t tell me. But I’m hearing they are going to send you a message. I don’t know what, or when. They didn’t tell me, but I heard.”

“You don’t know where or when?”

“No. I don’t even know of this is true for sure. It may just be a rumor. But the cartel… they are suspicious of everyone.”

“But what did you mean, ‘The cartel is coming for us?’” Leo asked as he hunched over his phone, his stomach churning.

“What I heard is they are going to send you a message. I don’t know what it is, but if Lima 6 doesn’t back off, they are going to start hitting your families, other innocent people in Vallecito. That is their way.”

“Why are they doing this, Carlos?” We haven’t targeted their families. We haven’t gone directly at them. We are only protecting what is ours.”

“They are being squeezed, Leo. The Cuervo Cartel is encroaching on them. They are being pressed from the south and by you at the north. I guess they think you are the easier target.”

“But you don’t know what this warning is?”

“No, Leo. I’m sorry. They don’t trust me anymore. That is why I need to get out, before they kill me and my family.”

“Okay, Carlos. Hang tight until we can get setup then we will come get you. You will be okay for a few days?”

“Yes, for a few days, but hurry!”

“You got it Carlos.”

“Ron!” Leo called as he limped back to the group. “We’ve got a problem.”

“What problem?” Ron asked.

“The war with the Prieto Cartel is about to start heating up. That was Carlos. He is calling his marker. He said that Prieto is being squeezed by another cartel to the south. They are going to make a push to move us out of the way. He said we should expect a ‘message’ soon and if we don’t back off, they are going to start killing civilians.”

“Did he say what the message was?”

“He didn’t know. He said they didn’t trust him anymore.”

“He’s got to find out,” Ron said in disgust.

“How do you suggest he do that, Ron? Walk up to the head guy and just ask him? Especially since he isn’t supposed to know at all.”

“I don’t give a shit about how, Leo! We have to know!”

“It could get him
killed,
Ron!”

“What do you suggest? You want us to just stand here with our dicks in our hands until they hit us?” Ron shouted.

Members were starting to look at them. “Look, this could cost him his life. We made promises, Ron,” Leo said quietly, trying to defuse the situation.

“I don’t give a flying
fuck
about some Mexican spic. You got that? I care about this club!”

“So do I, but we have to honor the agreements we made, Ron,” Leo said reasonably. “He called his marker. We should honor that. He has fed us good intel for two years, and we’ve hurt them. Carlos has done his part. Now we need to do ours.”

“Goddamnit, Leo! What is wrong with you? We need this information, and we need to hit the cartel before they hit us – send them a message that we aren’t going to just let them muscle us aside. Or is that what you want, Leo? To roll over like some pussy? Like with the kids.”

Leo felt himself flash hot with anger, but he stuffed it down deep. “No, but we have to be smart about this. If we hit them before they hit us, they’re going to
know
that some tipped us. They will have a purge that will have the streets running in blood. They will kill everyone they suspect – and not just the members of cartel, but their families, too. Is that what you want? I don’t want that much innocent blood on my hands.”

“Call Carlos back and have him find out what the hit is going to be,” Ron said quietly.

“No,” Leo replied just as quietly. “I won’t do it. He already went way out on a limb for us. Now it’s time for us to step up.”

“Fine. I’ll call him myself.”

“No. Don’t do it, Ron. You call him, and they find out, even if he doesn’t do it, your phone call will be enough to get him killed.”

“What are you going to do, put your gun to my head again?”

“No. I want to vote it.”

“Shit,” Ron sneered. “Fine. Boardroom, five minutes.”

***

“We’re voting to decide how handle the message
from the Prieto Cartel. There is a motion on the table to have our snitch find out what the message is going to be, and to hit the cartel before they hit us – to send a message that we can’t be muscled out of the way.” Ron waited a moment before he continued. “Yea.”