Swans Landing #1 - Surfacing (18 page)

What did I have left? A life of living where I wasn’t wanted?

The need to be gone overwhelmed me and I ran straight into the roaring waves, letting the foam wrap around me as I kept going, swimming against the current that tried to push me back. I wanted to go down, to not exist anymore, to forget
everything
.

When my feet no longer touched sand, my head slipped below the surface. My mouth closed instinctively, holding my breath.

I hated everything about this island. I hated the secrets and lies. I hated Lake. I hated my mother for leaving me.

Most of all, I hated that I had never been enough to make my parents try to work things out.

So my mouth opened, letting the saltwater rush in and fill inside me, stinging its way into every part of my throat and lungs.

Chapter Twenty

Sharp pains seized my legs, causing them to curl up toward my body. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed, but only a stream of bubbles escaped from my mouth. My shirt and hair floated in the current and twisted around me. My legs felt as if they were swelling inside my jeans, pushing hard against the seams. The ripping of the cloth could be felt throughout my body as it morphed into something else. My knees popped, my bones bent and fused together.

Tears would have streamed down my face if it weren’t for the fact that I was underwater. I wrapped my arms around my legs, curling tight in on myself as the pain continued to wash over me. Something ripped through my skin, tearing it into agonizing shreds. Waves of pain seared through me as my toes stretched, pulling tight at the webbing of skin between them.

What was happening to me?

After long agonizing minutes, the pain receded, growing duller as each minute passed. Finally, I could straighten my body out, arching my back against the tingle that raced up my spine and stretching my legs.

But my legs weren’t there anymore. They still felt like legs, but when I looked down through the murky water, I found that they had become fused together and were covered with golden scales. I ran a hand over what should have been my thigh. The slick scales blended perfectly into the skin of my abdomen so that I couldn’t tell where my skin ended and the scales began, as if they had always been there. The tattered remains of my jeans floated uselessly in the water.

What had I become?

I moved my legs slightly, letting the fin at my feet flow back and forth with a smooth motion.

I still felt like the same Mara, even though I knew I wasn’t. A deep trembling began racing throughout my body.

A fish passed in front of my eyes and I realized I was actually breathing under the water like it was. The water had filled my lungs, but instead of causing me to sputter and cough and rush toward the surface, I breathed in and out as if it were ordinary air. The salt felt good inside me and my body reveled in it.

People weren’t supposed to breathe water and grow fins. Ordinary people didn’t do things like that.

I kicked and clawed my way to the surface. I hadn’t fallen very far under, so it didn’t take long before my head broke the top. I scratched at the scales along my legs, trying to find an opening to peel them off. But I only succeeded in slicing my fingers open until the pain forced me to stop. I tread water several yards out from the shore and watched the birds circling overhead in search of food. Was that what I had become? Just another sea creature, destined to be caught up in a net or a hook?

I started paddling back toward shore, gulping large mouthfuls of water as sobs made their way through me. The first thing I had to do was get out of the water and pretend this had never happened. It was another nightmare. In the morning, I’d wake up in my bed and none of it would be real.

I
wasn’t
a freak.

But then I stopped, pausing to study the shoreline. Back on shore I’d have to deal with Lake. And Dylan and Josh. Sailor. Everyone at school. Things would be different now that I really wasn’t one of them. They had been trying to tell me all along. It wasn’t anything I’d done—it was
me
they didn’t like. A part of me that I had never known existed.

I had no other option.

I flipped over and dove down into the water, rushing past startled fish and swimming farther away from shore. Going back was no longer necessary. I didn’t know how or why this had happened, but I now had the ability to leave everything behind. If three quarters of the world was water, then I could theoretically swim anywhere I wanted. The thing I’d wanted most since my arrival in Swans Landing was there at the tip of my tail. Freedom. No one could hold me here.

But where would I go? I paused, letting my hands trail back and forth through the water as I thought about my options. Where should a sixteen-year-old half-fish girl go when given the chance?

Hawaii, of course. It was warm and I could spend the rest of my days lounging on a beach and never have to see my father again.

I started swimming, trying to get the hang of swishing my tail back and forth like the fish around me did. It was hard work, especially for a girl who had never been swimming in the ocean. What were once my legs didn’t want to work together in a smooth, fluid motion like they should have.

After what felt like hours, I resurfaced, panting heavily. The shore had slipped far away and I felt like my arms would never be able to swim the distance.

“You shouldn’t tire yourself out so much on your first time,” said a voice behind me.

I whirled around, splashing water as I turned to face Dylan. Drops of water beaded along his bare, smooth chest and his hair clung in wet clumps to his neck. He smiled, but it was a small, sad smile.

I ducked low into the water, trying to hide my tail. How far under the surface could he see?

“What are you doing out here?” I asked.

“Looking for you,” Dylan said. “Lake told me what happened and that you had taken off and...I don’t know. I thought you might come here.”

I backed away from him, putting distance between us so that he couldn’t see what I’d become. “Go away,” I said. “I’m not...” I swallowed back a lump in my throat. “I’m not what you think I am. Just leave me here.”

“You changed, didn’t you?”

I looked at him through the saltwater clinging to my eyelashes. “How did you know?”

Instead of answering, he slipped under the water. A moment later, he emerged, leaping high into the air in a graceful arc. The blue-green scales along the lower half of his body caught the hazy sunlight, setting them shimmering before he disappeared under the water again.

When Dylan resurfaced, much closer to me, I choked back a sob.

“What’s happening?” I asked in a quiet voice. “What am I?”

“You’re finfolk,” Dylan told me. “Well, half-finfolk.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head. “Finfolk aren’t real.”

“Says the girl with a fish tail.”

I opened my eyes and studied him. His expression looked serious. There was no hint that this all was some crazy joke meant to make me believe I had completely lost my mind. There was no hidden camera crew lurking in the background, waiting to jump out and surprise me.

There was me, the fish-girl. And Dylan, the fish-boy. And the ocean, stretching for miles and miles toward the horizon.

Dylan slipped his arm around my waist as I started crying. “Hey,” he said softly, pressing my head into his shoulder. “It will be okay.”

But it wouldn’t. It would
never
be okay again.

We bobbed in the water for a long time as Dylan held me and I cried out all the tears I’d been holding in since my arrival in Swans Landing. His warmth felt nice, his body slick and smooth against mine. His fingers trailed over my hair, like the way my mom’s used to. I wanted to go back to a year ago, back before my mom got so sick, before my life became too difficult to handle. Before I had ever imagined coming to this island.

When I finally managed to regain control of myself, I pulled back slightly to wipe my nose with a wet hand. Dylan still held onto me, his arms wrapped around my waist and keeping me close.

“Sorry,” I said in a hoarse voice.

“It’s all right,” he said. “You can cry on my shoulder as long as you need.”

I smiled at him, feeling myself becoming mesmerized in his pale blue eyes. If I didn’t catch myself, I knew I’d become lost in his gaze.

But I had questions and it was time that someone gave me answers.

“You knew about this all along, didn’t you?” I asked. “That I could change?”

He shook his head. “I knew you were half-finfolk. But I didn’t know whether you could change.”

“How can I be something that I didn’t even know about? Is it this island that turned me into this?”

“For you to be half-finfolk, one of your parents would have to be fully finfolk,” Dylan told me, avoiding my gaze.

The pieces snapped into place. “Lake,” I said, certain that he was once again the cause of all my problems.

“Yes.”

“So then your parents are finfolk too,” I guessed.

He nodded.

“Who else?” I asked. “Sailor?”

Dylan hesitated, then nodded. “Yes.”

“That’s why Elizabeth said all those things to her,” I went on. “About fish and all. So then Elizabeth knows that you two are...different.”

“Everyone who has lived here for most of their lives knows,” Dylan told me.

“Miss Gale?”

“Finfolk,” Dylan confirmed.

“How many are there?” I asked.

“Not as many as there used to be,” Dylan answered.

My head pounded as it tried to make sense of this impossible scenario. But I already knew that it was possible. The swish of my tail against Dylan’s reminded me that it was very much real.

“How did the finfolk get here?” I asked.

“We swam.”

I swatted at his chest. “I mean, I read that finfolk come from Scotland. How did they end up in Swans Landing?”

“Well, most of it is just legends,” Dylan said. “Even we don’t know for sure what happened that far back. But a long time ago, when people started spreading into what’s now known as Scotland, the finfolk tried to keep their identities secret. It wasn’t long before people found out the truth. Finfolk weren’t known for being kind back then. There were a lot of problems between the two groups and eventually, the humans took claim of our ancestral home and drove us away. Or else we left voluntarily. The story differs depending on who tells it.”

Dylan pushed a lock of my hair out of my eyes. His scent was all around me, salt and sand and sweetness inhaled deep into my lungs. His long hair dripped water onto his tanned shoulders.

The thing was, I wanted to kiss him, to taste the salt on his lips and to find out if kissing a fish boy was any different than kissing a human boy. I wanted to pull him closer and have him wrap his arms around me. My entire body seemed to urge me to do it, causing my pulse to quicken and my breathing to become heavier. It was as if something else had taken over me, controlling my hand to reach up and trace the line of his jaw with one finger.

Dylan swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “After a long time,” he whispered, “the finfolk found this island. It was deserted, used only as an occasional fishing spot by a few Native Americans. They were much more willing to get along with us than the other humans we’d encountered before. That is, until the Europeans found their way west and claimed our land as their own.” He gave me a wry smile. “Once again, we were forced into hiding our identities, trying to blend in. And even though the people who settled on Swans Landing found out the truth at some point during our shared history here, they kept our secret and lived alongside us. It was easy, since the island was much more isolated than it is now. Back then there wasn’t even a ferry to connect us to the mainland.”

“So what happened?” I asked in a hoarse voice. Dylan closed his eyes and shivered a little as my fingers moved across his neck, pushing his hair back to search for gills or anything that was evidence of his secret life. But his skin was smooth and soft, his blood warm through his veins.

He stiffened slightly at my question and his eyes darkened. “A tragedy,” Dylan answered.

I waited for more, but he didn’t explain further. “Someone died?” I asked. “How?”

Dylan shook his head. “It was a long time ago. I don’t know all the details. But after that, things changed and the people here didn’t trust us anymore. Now it’s acceptable for Elizabeth to harass us and call us names. It’s just how it is.”

I dropped my hands from him at the mention of Elizabeth’s name. What she did was more than a little harassment. There was cruelty and hatred in her eyes.

“Come on,” Dylan said. “You’ll tire yourself out spending so much time in the water your first day. I’ll take you home.”

I shook my head so hard that water from my hair sprayed across Dylan’s face. “I’m not going back to Lake’s house.”

“I’m sure he’s worried about you,” he said.

I laughed. “Don’t count on it. Lake doesn’t think about anything but himself. And this—” I gestured toward the water, indicating my tail fin. “—is further proof of that fact. He could have told me before now, instead of letting me find out on my own. He could have said something.”