Sweet Carolina (18 page)

Whispered words echoed in his mind. Dream or
reality? Did it matter which? Not in the least. It was stupid to
dream she could love him, much less dream of accepting it if it
were a reality. This was his fault. All of it – Caro's degradation
because he seduced her – the fines – the bottom line. All his
fault. He had to do something to fix it.

“Have you told Renfro your decision?”

“No. I wanted to tell my employees
first.”

“How much do you need?”

“Dell.” She said his name like a yellow flag
– caution. He ignored the warning as he had so many others.

“Tell me how much it'll take to keep the
doors open, Caro.”

She sighed and consulted a sheet of paper on
her desk. After a while, she named a figure. Dell nodded. “And how
much to finish the season?”

She shook her head. “I don't know, Dell.
Let's not even go there. We're parked for this week and next, and
without purse money…”

“I have purse money,” he said. “I have more
goddamned purse money than I know what to do with. I've tried
giving it away, but it multiplies like rabbits. I might as well do
something good with it. Let me help you, Caro. If you don't want me
to give you the money, at least let me be a silent partner. I swear
I won't tell you how to spend any of it.” He held his hand up in
some sort of scout salute – he thought.

“I can't let you do it, Dell. I've made a
mess of things, and I'd hate myself even more if I took your money
and lost it all too.”

Dell watched her closely. He noticed the
little spark of hope in her eyes when he mentioned being a silent
partner, but it flared out quickly. There was something else she
wasn't telling him. He was good with numbers, always had been. He
did a quick mental calculation of the expenses versus the team's
income since he'd come on board, and though the expenses
outstripped the income, it shouldn't have been enough to put the
team in such dire straits.

“How far in debt was the team when you took
it over?” he asked. Bingo. Caro closed her eyes and sank back into
her chair. He fuckin' hated the way her shoulders slumped in defeat
and the resignation in her voice when she finally sat forward,
folding her hands on the desk, and looked him in the eye.

“On a scale of one to ten? Eleven?”

Well, shit. What the hell had Stewart Hawkins
been thinking? How could a man up and die and leave his failing
company to a daughter he didn't want running it to begin with? What
kind of man didn't make plans for that sort of thing? Dell held her
gaze while he sorted out what he wanted to say. He couldn't fuck
this up. Too many people had already stomped on Caro's pride –
himself included. He needed to get this right the first time.

“The way I see it, you started out with the
odds stacked against you. You took on debt that wasn't yours, you
took on me, a liability by anyone's standards, and you're taking on
the entire racing establishment all at one time. I can't do
anything about the racing establishment, and I won't do anything
about me. I won't quit, Caro. You can fire me, but we both know you
won't find another Cup driver, at least not one who's willing to
work for a percentage of winnings only.” She opened her mouth to
protest, but Dell held up his hand. “No, hear me out. I can amend
my contract to reflect the new compensation arrangement, and I
will. I can also pay off the debt you assumed when you took over
Hawkins Racing.”

He held up his hand to stop her one more
time. “I believe in you, Caro. The engine you're working on is
good, real good. We're parked for the next two weeks. Nothing we
can do about that. Let me loan you the money to pay off the debt –
at a low interest rate, say, zero percent, with no payment due
until the end of the season. In the meantime, we use the next two
weeks to work on the engine and build a new car or two, and when
we're back on the track, I'll do everything I can to win.”

Caro stared at him as if he'd lost his last
marble, and perhaps he had. No matter what, he wouldn't let Caro
lose her dream. Hell, he'd lost all of his long ago, and he didn't
wish the same kind of pain on anyone.

“I'm giving you a chance to show the ol'
boys' club what you can do, Caro. Show them the new Hawkins engine,
and make them eat their words.”

“But if you don't win, you'll go down with
Hawkins Racing,” she said.

“I'll win, Caro. I promise.”

“Not if you drive like you've been driving.
You're a menace on the track, Dell. What happened to the driver
they used to say was going to change racing? He's the driver I
wanted when I hired you. I was stupid and naïve. I thought that
promising driver was in there somewhere, that all I had to do was
give him a new ride and he'd be grateful enough to come out of
hiding. Where is that driver, Dell?”

“He's here.” Dell thumped his chest with his
fist. “He's right here.” The heat of his conviction warmed the spot
where his fist made contact with his chest, and spread through his
body. The driver she spoke of still existed, and Dell was going to
find him again. For Carolina. She was right, that driver was good,
but Dell buried him along with Caudell in a futile effort to be the
driver his father wanted him to be. Well, fuck that. Caudell only
needed one son to follow in his footsteps, and as far as Dell was
concerned, that honor belonged to Warner. Dell would never be the
son Caudell wanted him to be, but he could be the man Caro needed,
and perhaps, if he were really lucky, wanted too.

“Give me a chance to prove it, Caro. For the
last three years, I've been trying to prove something to a dead
man, but I've got something more important to prove. I want to
prove I can be the man you need.”

Caro grabbed a tissue from the box on the
corner of her desk and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. Shit.
He'd made her cry again.

“Don't cry, Caro.” The words, I love you,
nearly tumbled off the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't say them.
He couldn't put that kind of shit in her lap too. “I've got the
money. Truckloads of it. I believe in you. Take the money. Show the
racing world who Caro Hawkins is, and I'll show you the driver you
thought you hired. I promise.”

A trickle of sweat slid down his spine as he
sat with clenched fists awaiting Caro's decision. He was afraid to
breathe, afraid any movement might call attention to his
anxiety.

She rocked back in her chair and studied him
with narrowed eyes. He didn't know what he would do if she said no.
Probably beg. It wasn't out of the question.

At long last, Caro stood and walked to the
bank of windows overlooking the garage. Dell followed her with his
eyes as she crossed the room and flicked a switch beside the
window. Light flooded the empty room. Dell unglued his ass from the
chair and went to stand behind her. He wrapped his arms around her
waist and tugged gently. She leaned into him, but remained stiff as
if the tension in her body was the only thing holding her together.
Her scent wafted over and through him, filling him with an emotion
so foreign, it stole his breath.

He wanted to be the man she needed more than
he wanted his next breath.

“I grew up in this garage,” she said. Her
hands closed over his. “I'm not ready to give it up, Dell.”

“You don't have to. Let me help you.”

“I don't know. It might just postpone the
inevitable.”

“The only thing you know for certain is if
you sell to Renfro, Hawkins Racing will be done. He'll dismantle
the shop, take what he wants for himself and leave the rest. That's
a given. As long as you keep the doors open, there's a chance,
Caro.” He kissed the top of her head, then rested his chin there as
they stared out at the empty shop. “Take the chance, Carolina. Even
if you fail, you'll know you tried everything possible. No
regrets.”

She turned in his arms. Her eyes were bright
with tears and uncertainty. Her palms rested over his heart and he
wondered if she could feel its erratic beat. “No. No regrets,
Dell.” She sighed and seemed to melt in his arms. He cradled her
close, stroking her back with one hand while the other held her
cheek to his chest. God, she felt good in his arms, like she was
meant to be there.

“We're going to do this, Caro. You and me.
We're going to make Hawkins Racing a name to be reckoned with. You
wait and see.”

“Okay.” The single word from her lips
breathed life into his chest. He held her a moment longer, savoring
the moment. He gently eased her away to look into her eyes.

“You won't regret this, Caro. I promise.” To
seal his promise, he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was nothing
more than a brush of lips before he tried to pull away. Her lashes
fluttered down and she rose on tiptoe, her lips following his,
halting his retreat.

“No regrets, Dell,” she said. She pulled his
head down to hers. Their lips met in a rush of longing and
desperate need. She opened under him and his tongue swept in,
claiming her soft heat to warm the dark recesses of his soul.

She tasted like the sweetest honey and he
couldn't get enough. He took all she offered, and begged for more.
Her lips promised carnal delights he wanted desperately to sample.
He rocked his hips, pressing his erection against the soft pillow
of her stomach. She groaned and molded her body to his.

Her hands found the hem of his shirt and
slipped underneath. Her cool hands on his heated back almost
brought him to his knees, but they also brought him to his
senses.

“We can't,” he said, disengaging from her and
stepping back. He sucked in a deep breath and put as much distance
between them as her office allowed. “We have to do this right,
Caro. No more…of that. We can't give them anything else to fire
back at us… you.”

“They won't know,” she countered, taking a
step toward him. Dell backed all the way to the door, wrapping his
hand around the solid knob. The cool metal helped ground him in
what he needed to do.

“Yes, they will. They found out once, they'd
find out again.” At the stricken look on her face, he let go of the
door and crossed to her. He kissed her, trying to convey all his
anguish and love with the touch of his lips. She wiggled, trying to
get closer to him, but he held her at a distance with his fingers
clamped around her upper arms. She tasted like heaven, and he hated
to let her go, but he had to. He broke the kiss, resting his
forehead against hers. “Never doubt how much I want you, Caro, but
we can't be together – not yet anyway. You need time to prove to
them, and to yourself that you can do this.”
And I do too.
“There's enough talk about you already, and I won't do anything to
add to it.” He pulled her close just to feel her in his arms one
more time. “I hate what they said to you. It isn't right.”

Those sweet hands found the skin at his back
again and he held her tighter. None of this was right. They should
be together. He should be able to tell her what was in his heart,
but he couldn't, not until he'd earned the right to love her, and
he had a damned long way to go before that happened, if ever.

“We'll get through this, and Hawkins Racing
will be on top. I know it. I believe it.”

“I want to believe it too, Dell. I really
do.”

“You do, Caro. You're the bravest person I
know, taking on the established system like you have. I'm so sorry
I made it harder for you.”

She pushed away, and he reluctantly let her
go. “Don't apologize, Dell,” she said as she swiped the moisture
from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Please don't be sorry
for…you know.” She waved her hand in the air in an absent gesture.
“I'm not.”

His lips quirked up on one side and a little
huff of purely masculine laughter escaped through them. “I'm not
sorry about it either, Caro. Never.” His tone turned serious. “I am
sorry someone used what happened between us to hurt you. If I knew
who did it, I'd pay them a visit.”

“I guess it's a good thing we don't know who
it was, isn't it? My driver is in enough trouble as it is; I can't
have him suspended for good.” Her shaky little laugh eased his
mind. She was going to be okay. The spunky girl he knew was finding
her way back.

“No, you can't, and I promise he'll be above
reproach from now on. I'm going to see to it myself.”

* * * *

She believed him, even if it did make her all
kinds of a fool for doing so. He stood there with a big wet spot on
his shirt from her tears, acting all macho and protective, and so
sure of himself. He meant what he said. She just wasn't sure he
would be able to follow through. That bright young driver hadn't
been seen in three years. Was he still inside Dell? Or had the last
three years buried him so deeply Dell would never find him
again?

And he was right about their relationship
too. No matter how much she wanted to be with him, to feel his arms
around her, she couldn't ignore the warnings. It wasn't right for
her to be held to a different set of standards than the men, but
now wasn't the time to take on that particular gorilla. One thing
at a time, she vowed. First, she needed to make Hawkins Racing a
success. After that, she'd have the clout to tackle the issue of
equality. And if there was still something between Dell and her
then, she wasn't going to let it go.

Caro sent him on his way with a promise to
compile a detailed list of the company's debts, as well as an
estimate of what it would cost to be ready to race in two weeks.
She hated to take Dell's money, but he was right, she wasn't
prepared to abandon her dream. If there were even the slightest
hope, she was going to grab at it with both fists.

Chapter Fourteen

“You seriously need to work on your social
skills,” Warner said, taking the beer Dell offered and following
him into the living room. “Do people actually come when you call
them and say, 'Get over here,' and hang up?”