Sweet Cheeks (30 page)

Turned out, he never had a wife and three kids. He's a typical bachelor boy. Apparently he had a few issues with getting me pregnant while being under cover, breached his code of conduct and all, but after he saved me and caught Jason, they kind of overlooked it, and just gave him a warning.

With Jason's case he's staying in Chicago for the time being, but said he might take a desk job and move closer to us. He's never asked to take Felicity, he's content to visit for now, which was a huge relief. I guess, when she's older, that might be a consideration we'll have to tackle. But not now. Now she stays with me.

My cell buzzes and Travis's name lights up the screen. I answer it.

“Hi.”

“Hey, there, how are you and my gorgeous baby girl?”

I smile. He loves being a dad. And he's much better at it, than I thought he'd be. Seems weird now to remember him as the loser, I first met.

“We're doing fine, how about you?”

“Well, I'm good. But I have some news.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Not sure how you're going to feel about it, Jen. Are you sitting down? I don't want to freak you out.”

“Okay. I'm sitting.” I take a seat while he clears his throat.

“Jason’s dead.”

I have no thought at first, like someone punched the pause button on my mind.

“Jen, are you okay? Did you hear what I said?”

I suck in a breath. “I ... um...
dead
?”

“Yeah. Seems we weren't careful enough. They got to him. He was found dead in his cell a few hours ago.”

“Holy, freaking shit!”

“Yeah. That's kind of what I said.”

“So ... he's really dead?” I breathe out, as guilty relief washes over me.

“Yep. It's finally over. There won't be any trial, just a pile of paperwork, that I'll be snowed under with for a few months.”

“It's really over?”

“Yeah, it is. Are you okay?”

“I ... I'm not sure. I mean ... I wanted it over, but ...”

Travis sighs. “That's why we're the good guys, Jen. We still care and no matter how much I hated that asshole, I kind of wanted to see him rot in jail, instead of ...”

“Murdered,” I blurt out.

All I can think is, what a frigging tragedy of a life. I can't bring myself to feel justice has been served. I never wanted that kind of justice.

“Yeah. So ... are you going to be okay? Maybe you should get Bailey to come over. You can tell her and Cam. I know he still worries for her and you.”

“Um ... no. I'm going over to Cam's actually. It's their engagement party tonight.”

“Oh, right. Tonight?”

“Yeah. I'm only going for a few hours. I've got Mrs Henderson to look after Felicity.”

“Right. So ...”

“So, I better get ready. I'll guess I'll talk to you later.”

“I'll be down on the weekend. I want to see both my girls.”

I cringe a little at the repercussions of that statement, but I let it go. “We'll be here. And Travis, thanks, thanks for letting me know.”

“You're the first one I've told. I haven't even told my boss yet. I only got the phone call from the prison five minutes ago. You really are safe now, Jen. I don't want you to worry anymore.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and Jen, is
he
going to be there tonight?”

I blink and swallow. Travis and I have never spoken of Tanning again. Not since that day. But I know who he's talking about.

“I don't think so. Bailey invited him, but he's got something else on. And as far as I know he's dating his old girlfriend again.”

I bite my lip, remembering the skanky girl in the towel. Apparently Tanning admitted to Bailey, that his ex turned up that night after Donna told her I'd dumped him. But he said he didn't sleep with her, she just took it upon herself to stay the night after Tanning got drunk and fell asleep. Not sure if I believe the story or not. But I don't think Tanning would lie. He's not like me.

“Right. I'm sorry, Jen.”

“Yeah. Well I'll get over it, I guess. I have Felicity, and she's all I need right now.”

“And me. You will always have me.”

Shit. This is awkward
.

“Thanks Travis. You're a really good friend. And I really appreciate all you've done for us.”

He sighs again. “It's the least I can do. I have a lot to make up for.”

Okay, now the conversation just turned a direction that is a hard road for me. I grit my teeth.

“I um ... really better go, Mrs Henderson will be here soon, and I have a list of instructions to give her.” I let out a fake chuckle, which Travis doesn't see for what it is, and we end our conversation. I would never get away with that with Tanning.

Tanning.

My heart aches remembering the way he could read my every thought. The way he trained his eyes on me with such intensity. The way he loved Felicity from the first moment he saw her. Oh, god I took that all away from him. I was the bitch he always believed me to be. And I know I had no choice, but hurting someone like that is the worst. Especially when it hurt me even more. I still love him. I think I always will. Now it's too late. Jason may be dead, that chapter of my life may be well and truly over, but it's all too late. Tanning's moved on, and I will have to move on too.

And it all starts with the smallest step. And tonight, I can step outside for the first time without looking over my shoulder, or racing to my car and locking the door, my heart thumping in my chest.

I can finally say goodbye to the fear that runs like blood in my veins, and I can breathe properly for the first time in months.

And I know it's slightly wicked, but I can't help feeling that my prayers have finally been answered, and I really need to thank God for that.

THiRTY-FiVe

_________________________

I pull up outside the very familiar farmhouse. I love this place. It feels like I'm coming home. Those months I spent here were some of my safest memories. Although my motivations back then were less than honourable, I will still treasure that time. Just like I treasure Cam and his mom.

Someone has finally donned the gardening gloves and made the yard presentable. There isn't a weed in sight, and they've even put a little fountain in the pond, which reflects the fairy lights strewn across the front porch. Wow, it looks magical and special. As it should be, Bailey and Cam deserve this. They've waited for so long to be together. And I'm really happy for them.

The lump in my throat lodges, thinking how happy I could have been, if things had of worked out for me and Tanning. I can't dwell now. I need to toughen up, and concentrate on my future and not the past. At least he won't be here tonight. Facing him after hearing the news about Jason would be torture. Knowing I don't have to keep it a secret any longer. The secret that kept me from telling Tanning the truth. The secret that kept us apart. And now it doesn't matter. None of it does.

Readying my smile, I get out of the car and smooth over my pink silk dress. I'm finally losing my baby weight. And no it wasn't easy like those celebrity moms, I still have bit of a tummy, but I'm proud of it. It reminds me I carried my gorgeous baby all those months, and to be honest I don't really care if I don't go back to my perfect shape.

Perfect is for losers. I'm rocking imperfect from now on.

That thought makes me smile wider, and I open the passenger door to get out the cake. I haven't shown Bailey and Cam yet, but I hope they love it. It's Cam's favorite, Chocolate chip, and Bailey's favorite, chocolate cheesecake. I've fashioned them into two joining hearts. It's my first real go at professional cake decorating, but with a little help from Mrs Winters, it looks pretty good.

There are a mountain of cars here, and this is my first time out since the incident. I'm a little on edge, but I've already seen most of the guests, who came to visit after Felicity was born. Bailey wanted to throw me a post baby shower, but I politely declined and she understood why. And yeah, I know, unreal to think that Jennifer Jaimeson didn't want the spotlight, and a party in her honor. The old version would have been all up in that action, but not this new improved version. Note the improved. Yep despite the obvious imperfections I'm much happier being who I've become over these past months. And I have my mess of a life to thank for that.

Ironic, I know.

My wedge heels click on the wooden front steps and I smile my way through the people milling on the front porch, some I know, some are unfamiliar.

I make my way to the kitchen to find Cam's mom in the middle of all the catering. I offered to help, but she said she wanted to hire people, so everyone could relax and have a good time.

“Hi, Elise,” I say and put the cake on the counter top.

“Oh, hi darling. Oooh, can I take a sneak peak?” She doesn't wait for an answer as she lifts the cloth off the cake and bends to take a look. “Oh, my. That is so beautiful. You really are talented. You should branch out your business.”

I chuckle. “Not sure if I'm quite ready for that yet, but we'll see.”

She smiles and kisses my cheek. “How is my beautiful baby girl doing?”

I love the way she acts like a surrogate grandma, just like Bailey's dad acts like a surrogate grandfather. With my mom and dad not really taking an interest, it's been so nice to have those two doting adoptive grandparents around.

“She's just that. Beautiful as always. I miss her. Maybe I should ring Mrs Henderson, see how she's going?”

Elise pats my shoulder as I frown a little, beginning to worry. “Oh, darling, she'll be just fine, and Mrs Henderson will ring you if she needs you. Why don't you go and get a drink, there is some nice punch, and I think Bailey and Cam are out back with most of the other guests.”

I give her a small smile and decide I'll give it another ten minutes before I call. I want to find Bailey and Cam to tell them about Jason. They deserve to know. It's been nerve wracking for all of us and I want the nightmare to be over for them as well.

Pushing my way through the many well wishers, I make my way to the back porch and look out across the freshly mown fields. Wow, Elise has gone all out. There are fairy lights in the trees, and the tables are dressed in white cloths with red bows and red roses as decoration. There must be at least one hundred people here. I spy Bailey and Cam from the steps, they are surrounded by family and friends and look so happy. I'm glad to see Bailey wearing the dress I picked out for her. It's a sapphire colored halter neck, swing dress, that falls to mid thigh and she's actually wearing heels. Wow, I bet that won't last long, she already looks like she's shifting from foot to foot, and Cam is holding on to her for dear life.

I giggle. She's still a clumsy ass.

Then I feel a presence behind me and a shiver makes its way down my spine. I feel him before I even see him. It has to be him. I inhale and his familiar cologne invades every sense. Oh god. I didn't think he'd be here. I was really hoping he wouldn't be. I don't know if I can do this.

“Jen?”

I have to face him, but I don't want to. I close my eyes and swallow, then I paint on the fake smile and turn around.

It's him alright.

Him. And her.

Oh shit.

I wasn't ready to tackle that heartache tonight. Seeing him is bad enough, but not when the skanky towel hoe clenched to his arm. Damn. I don't know how long my smile is going to last. The old Jen is desperate to claw her way out, and claw at the smug expression on the witch's face.

She's skinny. Skinny in a: she needs to eat a few thousand burgers, kind of way. Her brown hair is all styled tonight, not the tangled mess last time I saw her. And her big green eyes, are glaring at me. Okay, I can do this. I've been through far worse and survived. I can do this. Piece of cake.

My heart is pounding and my hands are sweating. I don't know what to say, and I don't want to look at Tanning. He reads me too well, and tonight I need to be a closed book.

So I give him a quick glance. “Oh, hi Tanning,” I say casually, and pull out my cell, like I've just got a text I need to read.

I'm hoping they take that as the hint to move on, to mingle with more worthy guests. But they aren't moving, though the skanky one seems to want to, she's fidgeting and I glance up to see her looking around.

Good, take Tanning and go
, I want to say, but I don't. I just grin at my cell then put it back in my purse, like it's all natural and I'm not affected by seeing him again.

“How have you been?” he asks, like I'm an old friend he hasn't seen in a while.

Oh, god, how to answer that question.

Well apart from the one good thing in my life, Felicity. I've missed you like crazy and not seeing you has nearly killed me. And now seeing you with this, this ... witch of a woman, is making me want to die inside.

“Good, and you.”

“How's Felicity?”

Oh, okay, more pleasantries. I can handle pretentious conversation.

“She's really good.”

“I'm glad.”

Yeah, I'm glad too, Tanning. So glad, I could scream right now! Time to get the hell out of here.

“I, ah, need to find Bailey and Cam. I'll  um ... catch up with you later.”

I won't. I'm leaving as soon as the cake's cut. I don't wait for his reply. I turn quickly and make my way through the crowd to where Bailey and Cam are standing talking to Bennett and Gerry.

I tap Cam's shoulder. “Hey.”

He turns and smiles at me. “Hey, yourself. Don't you look smoking.”

I chuckle at that remark and scrunch up my nose. Once upon a time I would have run a mile to hear Cam say that to me, now it sounds weird.

“You, um ... look pretty
nice
yourself.”

He's dressed in casual beige pants and a white linen shirt, and as usual he looks gorgeous with little effort. But I couldn't begin to think of Cam that way ever again.

Bailey finishes talking to Bennett and he looks my way and winks. Well that's new. He usually ignores me. I give him a small smile back. He is scorching hot after all, you'd have to be dead not to smile at him, regardless of how he treats you.