Authors: Christina Lauren
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #United States, #Women's Fiction, #New Adult & College, #Contemporary Fiction, #Sagas, #Romantic Comedy, #Coming of Age, #Contemporary Women, #Contemporary, #General, #Romance, #Fiction, #dpgroup pyscho
But for some reason—let’s blame the alcohol—and without looking away from the hot man across the bar, my lips readily form the word “Hi.”
He says it back, before pulling the corner of his lip between his teeth, and
wow,
he should do that every day and to every person he meets for the rest of his life. He has a dimple and I reassure myself that it’s just the lighting and shadows playing it up because there’s no way in hell something so simple could possibly be this adorable.
I feel something strange happen to my insides and I wonder if this is what people mean when they say they melt, because I am most definitely feeling less than solid. There’s a distinct flutter of interest from the vicinity below my waist, and
good God,
if his smile alone managed to do that, imagine what his—
Harlow grabs my arm before I can finish that thought, jerking me from my careful study of his face and into a crowd of bodies rocking and snaking to the rhythm of sex blasting from the speakers. A boy like that is way
way
out of my comfort zone, and so I shove the urge to go find him into the proverbial box, under the proverbial bed along with everything else.
WE MUST BE
easing into Vegas, because after dancing and drinks, we’re in our room by midnight, all three of us worn-out from the commencement ceremony in the sun, the hot drive, and the alcohol we rushed into our systems without enough food.
Even though our suite has more space than we need, and even though there are two bedrooms, we’re all piled into the one. Lola and Harlow are out within minutes, and the familiar string of Harlow’s sleep-mumble starts. Lola is almost shockingly silent and still. She buries herself so completely in her bedding, I remember wondering when we were younger if she somehow disappeared into the mattress during sleepovers. There are times I actually consider checking for a pulse.
But across the hall, a party rages.
The heavy bass of music rattles the light fixture hanging above me. Male voices rumble across the empty space separating the rooms; they shout and laugh, have their own little cacophony of whoops and man-sounds going on. A ball hits a wall somewhere in the distance, and although I can only identify a few unique voices in the mix, they’re making enough noise that I can’t believe the entire suite isn’t full of drunk boys tearing up a weekend in Vegas.
Two a.m. passes the same: I’m staring at the ceiling, growing somehow both more awake and more asleep. When three hits, I’m so irritated, I’m ready to be the Vegas buzzkill just so I can get a few hours of sleep before our early spa appointments.
I slip out of bed, being quiet so I don’t wake my friends, before laughing at the absurdity of my caution. If they’ve slept through the ruckus across the hall, they’ll sleep through me padding quietly across a carpeted floor, grabbing a room key, and slipping out of our suite.
I pound my fist on the door and wait, chest heaving with irritation. The noise barely dips, and I’m not sure if I can pound hard enough for them to even hear me. Raising both fists, I try again. I don’t want to be that person—in
Vegas
complaining about people being joyful—but my next stop is calling hotel security.
This time the music dies down and footsteps slap on the tile just in front of the door.
Maybe I expect some older, sun-bleached trust fund douche to answer, a bunch of middle-aged investment bankers visiting for a weekend of debauchery, or a roomful of fratty guys drinking shots out of a stripper’s belly button. But I don’t expect it to be
him,
the guy from across the bar.
I don’t expect him to be shirtless, wearing black boxers that hang so low on his tanned stomach that I can see the soft trail of hair, lower.
I don’t expect him to smile when he sees me. And I most definitely don’t expect the accent when he says, “I know you.”
“You don’t,” I say, completely steady, if a little on the breathless side. I never stutter in front of friends or family anymore and only rarely in front of strangers I’m comfortable with. But right now my face feels hot, my arms and legs prickling with goose bumps, so I have no idea what to make of my completely stutterless words.
If possible, his smile grows, blush deepening, dimple taking center stage, and he opens the door wider, stepping out toward me. He’s even better looking than he seemed from across the room, and the reality of him immediately fills the doorway. His presence is so huge I step back as if I’ve been pushed. He’s all easy posture, eye contact, and beaming smile as he leans close, and playfully studies me.
Being a performer, I’ve seen magic like his before. He may look like any other human, but he has that elusive quality that would force every pair of eyes to track him onstage, no matter how small his role. It’s more than charisma—it’s a magnetism that can’t be taught or practiced. I’m only two feet away from him . . . I don’t stand a chance.
“I
do
know you,” he says with a little tilt of his head. “We met earlier. We just haven’t exchanged names yet.” My mind searches to place his accent before I trip into understanding: he’s French. The asshole is French. It’s diluted, though. His accent is soft, mild. Instead of curling all of the words together he spreads them out, carefully offering each one.
I narrow my eyes, forcing them up to his face. It’s not easy. His chest is smooth and tan and he has the most perfect nipples I’ve ever seen, small and flat. He’s ripped, and tall enough to ride like a horse. I can feel the warmth coming off his skin. On top of all of that, he’s wearing nothing but his underwear and seems completely unfazed by it.
“You guys are being insanely loud,” I say, remembering the hours of noise that brought me out here in the first place. “I think I liked you a lot better across a crowded room than across this hall.”
“But face-to-face is the best, no?” His voice causes goose bumps to spread across my arms. When I don’t answer, he turns and looks over his shoulder and then back to me. “I’m sorry we’re so loud. I’m going to blame Finn. He’s Canadian, so I’m sure you understand he’s a savage. And Oliver is an Aussie. Also horribly uncivilized.”
“A Canadian, an Australian, and a Frenchman throw a rager in a hotel room?” I ask, fighting a smile despite my better judgment. I’m trying to remember the rule about whether or not you’re supposed to struggle when you fall into quicksand, because that’s exactly what this feels like. Sinking, being swallowed up by something bigger than I am.
“Like the beginning of a joke,” he agrees, nodding. His green eyes twinkle and he’s right: face-to-face is endlessly better than through a wall, or even across a dark, crowded room. “Come join us.”
Nothing has ever sounded so dangerous and so tempting all at once. His eyes drop to my mouth, where they linger before scanning my body. Despite what he’s just offered, he steps fully out into the hallway and the door falls closed behind him. Now it’s just me and him and his naked chest and . . .
wow
, strong legs and the potential for mind-blowing spontaneous hallway sex.
Wait. What?
And now I also remember I’m only in my tiny sleep shorts and matching tank top with little pigs all over them. I’m suddenly aware of the bright light in the hallway and feel my fingers move down, instinctively tugging the material lower to cover my scar. I’m normally fine with my body—I’m a woman so naturally there are always little things I’d change—but my scar is different. It’s not entirely about how it looks—though let’s be honest, Harlow still does the full-body sympathy shudder whenever she sees it—but what it represents: the loss of my scholarship to the Joffrey Ballet School, the death of my dream.
But the way he looks at me makes me feel naked—
good
naked—and beneath the cotton of my top, my nipples tighten.
He notices and takes another step closer, bringing with him warmth and the scent of soap, and I’m suddenly sure he’s most definitely
not
looking at my leg. It doesn’t even seem like he
sees
it, or if he does, he likes how I come together enough to ignore what this scar says. It says
trauma
, it says
pain
. But his eyes only say
yes,
and
please,
and
mischief
. And that he’d like to see more.
The shy girl inside me crosses her arms over her chest, tries to pull me back to the safety of my own room. But his eyes pin me in place.
“I wasn’t sure I would see you again.” His voice has gone gravelly, hinting of the filthy things I want to hear him growl into my neck. My pulse is a frantic, pounding drum. I wonder if he can see it. “I looked for you.”
He looked for me.
I’m surprised my voice comes out so clear when I say, “We left pretty soon after I saw you.”
His tongue slips out, and he watches my mouth. “Why don’t you come . . . inside?” There are so many unspoken promises tucked in those five words. It feels like he’s a stranger offering me the most delicious candy on the planet.
“I’m going to sleep,” I manage finally, holding up my hand to keep him from moving any closer. “And you guys are going to be quieter or I’ll send Harlow over. And if that fails, I’m waking up Lola and you’ll find yourself thanking her for leaving you beat up and bloody.”
He laughs. “I really like you.”
“Good night.” I turn to walk back to our door on less than steady legs.
“I’m Ansel.”
I ignore him as I slide my key into the lock.
“Wait! I just want your name.”
I look back over my shoulder. He’s still smiling. Seriously, a kid in my third-grade class had a dimple and it did not make me feel like this.
This
boy should come with a warning label. “Shut the hell up and I’ll tell it to you tomorrow.”
He takes another step forward, feet bare on the carpet and eyes following me down the hall, and says, “Does that mean we have a date?”
“No.”
“And you really won’t tell me your name? Please?”
“Tomorrow.”
“I’ll just call you
Cerise,
then.”
I call out, “Fine with me,” as I walk into my room. For all I know, he’s just called me uptight, or prude, or pig jammies.
But somehow, the way he purred the two syllables makes me think it was something else entirely.
As I climb back into bed, I look it up on my phone.
Cerise
means “cherry.” Of course it does. I’m not sure how I feel about that because something tells me he wasn’t referring to the color of my nail polish.
The girls are both asleep, but I’m not. Even though the noise across the hall has stopped and everything grows still and calm in our suite, I’m hot and flushed and wishing I’d had the guts to stay out in the hallway just a little longer.
Chapter
TWO
H
ARLOW ORDERS FRIES
before dropping her shot into her beer and downing it.
She pulls her forearm across her mouth and looks over at me. I must be gaping because she asks, “What? Should I be classier?”
I shrug, drawing the straw through the ice in my glass. After a morning massage and facial, an afternoon spent at the pool, followed by a few cocktails, we’re all more than a little tipsy. Besides, even after chugging a beer with a shot in it, Harlow
looks
classy. She could jump into a bin full of plastic balls at McDonald’s Playland and come out looking fresh.
“Why bother?” I ask. “We have the rest of our lives to be sophisticates, but only the one weekend in Vegas.”
She listens to what I say, considers it before nodding firmly and motioning to the bartender. “I’ll have two more shots and whatever that monstrosity is that she’s drinking.” She points to Lola, who’s licking the whipped cream from the rim of a hideous, LED-flashing cup.
He frowns before shaking his head and says, “Two shots of whiskey and one Slut on a Trampoline, coming up.”
Harlow gives me her best shocked face but I barely have time to register it before I feel someone press up behind me at the crowded bar. Large hands grip my hips only a split second before “There you are” is whispered hotly—and directly—into my ear.
I startle, turning and jumping away with a gasp.
Ansel.
My ear feels damp and warm, but when I look at him, I see the same playful light in his eyes he had last night. He’s the guy who’ll do a ridiculous robot dance to make you laugh, who’ll lick the tip of your nose, make a fool out of himself for a smile. I’m sure if I tried to wrestle him to the ground, he’d let me win. And enjoy every minute.
“Too close?” he asks. “I was going for seductive, yet subtle.”
“I’m not sure you could have been any closer,” I admit, fighting a smile as I rub my ear. “You were practically inside my head.”
“He’d make a horrible ninja,” says one of the guys with him.
“Oliver, Finn,” Ansel says, first pointing to a tall friend with messy brown hair, stubble, bright blue eyes behind thick-rimmed glasses, and then to the one who spoke, with short-cropped brown hair, dark backlit eyes, and what I can only imagine is a permanently cocky smirk. Ansel looks back at me. “And gentlemen, this is
Cerise
. I’m still waiting for her real name.” He leans in a little, saying, “She’ll have to give it up sometime.”
“I’m Mia,” I tell him, ignoring his innuendo. His eyes trip down my face and stall at my lips. It’s precisely the look he would give me if we were about to kiss but he’s too far away. He leans forward, and it feels like watching an airplane fly ten feet from the ground for miles, never getting closer.
“It’s nice to put a face with all the man shouts,” I say to break the thick sexual tension, looking around him to Oliver and Finn, then point to my wide-eyed friends beside me. “This is Lorelei, and Harlow.”
They exchange handshakes, but remain suspiciously quiet. I’m not usually the one meeting guys in situations like this. I’m usually the one pulling Harlow back from hooking up on a table within minutes of meeting someone, while Lola considers beating up any guy who dares speak to us. They may be too stunned to know how to respond.
“Have you been looking for us?” I ask.
Ansel shrugs. “We may have gone to a couple of different places, just to peek.”
Behind him, Oliver—the one in glasses—holds up seven fingers and I laugh. “A couple?”
“No more than three,” Ansel says, winking.
I spot movement just behind him, and before I have a chance to say anything, Finn steps up, attempting to yank Ansel’s pants down. Ansel doesn’t even blink, but instead asks me, “What are you drinking?” and simply grips his waistband without looking even a little surprised or annoyed.
As if I can’t see a considerable amount of gray boxers.
As if I’m not staring directly at where the distinct bulge in the cotton would be.
Is this what boys do?
“It’s nice to see you in your underwear again,” I say, struggling to restrain my grin.
“Almost,” he clarifies. “At least my pants stayed up this time.”
I glance down, wishing I could get another eyeful of his toned thighs. “That’s debatable.”
“Last time Finn did that, they didn’t. I beat his road time this week and he’s been trying to get me back ever since.” He stops, brows lifting and seeming to only now hear what I said. He leans in a little bit, asking in a soft, low voice, “Are you hitting on me?”
“No.” I swallow under the pressure of his unwavering attention. “Maybe?”
“Maybe if my pants go down, your dress should go up,” he whispers, and no sentence
anywhere
has ever sounded so dirty. “To level the playing field.”
“She’s way too hot for you,” Finn says from behind him. Ansel reaches back, putting a hand on Finn’s face and moving him farther away. He nods to my drink, wordlessly asking what was in my now-empty glass.
I stare back at him, feeling the strange warmth of familiarity spread through me. So
this
is what chemistry feels like. I’ve felt it with other performers, but that kind of connection is different from this. Usually chemistry between dancers diffuses offstage, or we force real life back in. Here with Ansel, I think we could charge large appliances with the energy moving between us.
He takes my glass and says, “Be right back,” before glancing at Lola as she steps away from the others. She’s watching Ansel like a hawk, with her arms crossed over her chest and stern mom-face on full display. “With a drink,” he tells her good-naturedly. “Overpriced, watered-down alcohol, probably with some questionable fruit. Nothing funny, I promise. Would you like to come with me?”
“No, but I’m watching you,” she says.
He gives her his most charming smile before turning to me. “Anything in particular you desire?”
“Surprise me,” I tell him.
After he walks a few feet away to get the bartender’s attention, the girls give me exaggerated
what the hell
stares and I shrug back—because, really, what can I say? The story is laid out right in front of them. A hot guy and his hot friends have located us in a club, and said hot guy is buying me a drink.
Lola, Harlow, and Ansel’s friends make polite conversation but I can barely hear them, thanks to the booming music and my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I try not to stare down the bar to where Ansel has wedged himself between a few bodies, but in my peripheral vision I can see his head above most others, and his long, lean body leaning forward to call out his order to the bartender.
He returns a few minutes later with a new tumbler, full of ice and limes and clear liquid, offering it to me with a sweet smile. “Gin and tonic, right?”
“I was expecting you to get me something adventurous. Something in a pineapple or with sparklers.”
“I smelled your glass,” he says, shrugging. “I wanted to keep you on the same drink. Plus”—he gestures down my body—“you have this whole flapper girl thing going on with the short dress and the”—he draws a circle in the air with his index finger near my head—“the shiny black hair and straight bangs. And those red lips. I look at you and I think ‘gin.’” He stops, scratching his chin, and adds, “Actually I look at you and think—”
Laughing, I hold up my hand to stop him there. “I have no idea what to do with you.”
“I have some suggestions.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“Would you like to hear them?” he says, grin firmly in place.
I take a deep, steadying breath, pretty sure I’m in
way
over my head with this one. “How about you tell me a little about you guys first. Do you all live in the States?”
“No. We met a few years ago doing a volunteer program here where you bike from one city to another, building low-income housing as you go. We did it after university a few years back and worked from Florida to Arizona.”
I look at him more closely now. I hadn’t given much thought to who he is or what he does, but this is far more interesting than a group of asshole foreign guys blowing money on a Vegas suite. And biking from state to state definitely explains the muscular thighs. “That’s not at all what I expected you to say.”
“There were four of us who became very close. Finn, Oliver, me, and Perry. This year we did a reunion ride, but only from Austin to here. We’re old men now.”
I look around for the fourth one and then raise my eyebrows at him meaningfully. “Where is he?”
But Ansel only shrugs. “Just us three this time.”
“It sounds amazing.”
Sipping his drink, he nods. “It
was
amazing. I dread going home on Tuesday.”
“Where exactly is home? France?”
He grins. “Yes.”
“Home to France. What a drag,” I say dryly.
“You should come to Paris with me.”
“
Ha
. Okay.”
He studies me for a long beat. “I’m serious.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are.”
He sips his drink again, eyebrows raised. “You may be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I suspect you’re also the most clever.” He leans in a little, whispering, “Can you juggle?”
Laughing, I say, “No.”
“Pity.” He hums, smiling at my mouth. “Well, I need to stay in France for another six months or so. You’ll need to live there with me for a bit before we can buy a house Stateside. I can teach you then.”
“I don’t even know your last name,” I say, laughing harder now. “We can’t be discussing juggling lessons and cohabitation quite yet.”
“My last name is Guillaume. My father is French. My mother is American.”
“Gee what?” I repeat, floundering with the accent. “I wouldn’t even know how to spell that.” I frown, rolling the word around in my head a few times. “In fact, I’m not even sure what letter it begins with.”
“You’ll need to learn to spell it,” he says, dimple flashing. “You’ll have to sign your new name on your bank checks, after all.”
Finally, I have to look away. I need to take a break from his grin and this DEFCON-1 level of flirtation. I need oxygen. But when I blink to my right, I’m met with the renewed wide-eyed stares of my friends standing nearby.
I clear my throat, determined not to be self-conscious about how much fun I’m having and how easy this all feels. “What?” I ask, giving Lola the
don’t overreact
face.
She turns her attention to Ansel. “You got her talking.”
I can feel her shock, and I don’t want it to consume me. If I think too much about how easy I feel around him, it’ll rebound and I’ll panic.
“This one?” he asks, pointing at me with his thumb. “She doesn’t shut up, does she?”
Harlow and Lola laugh, but it’s a
yeah, you’re insane
laugh and Lola pulls me slightly to the side, putting a hand on my shoulder. “You.”
“Me what?”
“You’re having an instalove moment,” she hisses. “It’s freaking me out. Are your panties still on under there?” She bends dramatically as if to check.
“We met last night,” I whisper, pulling her back up and trying to get her to lower her voice because even though we stepped away, we didn’t move that far. All three men are listening in on our exchange.
“You met him and didn’t tell us?”
“God, Mother. We were busy this morning and I forgot, okay? Last night they were partying across the hall. You would have heard them, too, if you hadn’t had enough vodka to kill a horse. I walked over and asked them to quiet down.”
“No, that wasn’t the first time we met,” Ansel interjects over my shoulder. “We met earlier.”
“We did
not
,” I insist, telling him with my expression to shut it. He doesn’t know Lola’s protective side but I do.
“But it was the first time she saw Ansel in his underwear,” Finn adds, helpfully. “He invited her in.”
Her eyebrows disappear beneath her hairline. “Oh my God. Am I drunk? What’s in this thing?” she asks, peering into her obnoxiously flashing cup.
“Oh stop,” I tell her, irritation rising. “I didn’t go into his room. I didn’t take the gorgeous stranger’s candy even though I really wanted to because hello, look at him,” I add, just daring her to freak out even more. “You should see him with his shirt off.”
Ansel rocks on his heels, sipping his drink. “Please continue as if I’m not here. This is fantastic.”
Finally—mercifully—Lola seems to decide to move on. We all step back into the small semicircle the guys have made, and drink our cocktails in stilted silence.
Either ignoring or oblivious to the awkward, Ansel pipes up. “So what are you all celebrating this weekend?” he asks.
He doesn’t just speak the words, he pouts them, pushing each out in a little kiss. Never before have I had such an urge to touch someone’s mouth with my fingers. As Harlow explains why we’re in Vegas, drinking terrible shots and wearing the world’s sluttiest dresses, my eyes move down his chin, over his cheeks. Up close I can see he has perfect skin. Not just clear, but smooth and even. Only his cheeks are slightly ruddy, a constant boy-blush. It makes him look younger than I think he is. Onstage, he would remain untouched. No pancake, no lipstick. His nose is sharp, eyes perfectly spaced and an almost intimidating green. I imagine I’d be able to see the color from the back of a theater. There is no way he can possibly be as perfect as he seems.
“What do you do when you’re not riding bikes or juggling?” I ask, and everyone turns to me in unison. I feel my pulse explode in my throat, but force my eyes to hold on to Ansel’s, waiting for his answer.
He plants his elbows on the bar beside him and anchors me with his attention. “I’m an attorney.”
My fantasy wilts immediately. My dad would be thrilled to know I’m chatting up a lawyer. “Oh.”
His laugh is raspy. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“I’ve never known an attorney before who wasn’t old and lecherous,” I admit, ignoring the looks Harlow and Lola have trained on the side of my face. At this point, I know they’re counting how many words I’ve said in the last ten minutes. I’m breaking a personal record now.