Sweet Hope (Sweet Home #4) (11 page)

Lifting my dirty hands, I unsubtly wiped away the few tears I’d failed to stop from spilling down my face and turned my back on the sculpture, on the sculpture that was all
me
. Tipping back my head, I stared out of the domed ceiling at the millions of stars. I suddenly didn’t feel so tortured as I pictured Austin and me as kids, Levi just a baby in my arms. Just a couple of young brothers,
best friends
, sitting on the roof of our trailer, lying back and watching the stars…

*****

Austin’s little hand pointed up to the dark sky. “Those three right there are Orion’s belt. Can you see them, Axe? The three stars in a row? And those right there are the Pleiades, or the Seven Sisters. But to see all seven stars at once, you have to close your eyes, then open them real quick, ‘cause some of them instantly fade away, leaving only a few left over,” he told me.

I looked to my eight-year-old kid brother as I held Levi in my arms. Austin was nothing but gangly limbs and big brown eyes, a mini me, and I laughed. “How d’you know all this, Aust?”

He shrugged and turned bright red. “I read it in a book at school. I’ve read lots of them.”

“You like the stars?” I asked.

He blushed bright red. “Yeah. They make me feel happy.”

It went silent, and I knew he was embarrassed telling me that. Austin was a thinker; he was smart.

Looking at the sky again, I pointed at a star. “What’s that one, kid?”

Austin moved closer to me and followed my finger. “That’s Sirius, Axe,” he told me excitedly.

His face looked over at me. “You like the stars, Axe?”

“I like you telling me about them, kid,” I replied, smiling.

Austin settled back down, just as we heard our papa come home drunk from the trailer park bar and start screaming at Mamma. Mamma immediately started crying, begging him not to hurt her. I felt Austin stiffen beside me and his breathing changed. He was terrified. He always got scared of our papa when he came home trashed. It was the reason I brought him up here, to distract him.

Reaching down, I wrapped my arm round his shoulder and pulled him to my side. I fucking hated our loser of a papa. All he wanted to do was hurt us. So I made a promise to myself to always do anything to protect my brothers.

“Come on, kid. Tell me more.” I pushed, feeling Austin grab onto my shirt and squeeze it real tight as a glass smashed inside the trailer and my mamma screamed out in pain.

With a shaky voice, Austin pointed at a bright star. “Th… that’s M-Mars…”

“Nah, really?” I asked. “Is it made from chocolate too?”

I felt Austin weakly start to laugh beside me. “No, Axe, but it’s red and big, and some people think aliens live on it…”

“Really? Aliens?” I asked excitedly, pulling Austin and Levi in closer.

Austin released my shirt, and I knew he’d managed to block out the beating of Mamma inside and I exhaled in relief. “You see, Mars, it’s made of red rock, Axe…”

*****

And that’s how we got through the bad times. The three of us lost in the stars, the night sky taking us away from the shitty trailer we called home.

Watching the night sky became our thing, until
my
thing became the gang, my crew brothers in the Heighters taking over my life… and I dragged little innocent Austin along for the ride. He’d trusted me, and I’d turned him into a coke-dealing thug at the age of twelve… just like me.

Austin, Levi and me never looked at the stars like that again.

I missed it.

I fucking missed Austin and the relationship we used to have… one I never got to start with Levi when he was old enough to understand.

As I stared at the sky through the glass, my eyes fell on Orion’s Belt. I couldn’t go there right now. Couldn’t keep thinking of our lives before everything went wrong.

A hand running softly down my back had me whipping around. Aliyana’s concerned eyes were wide as she stared up at me, her hand stilling on my back. I could feel the heat of her imprint on my skin like it was a hot branding iron searing my flesh.

“Are you…?” Her fingers moved, stroking at my muscled back, making my skin feel like it was on fire. “Are you okay?”

My instinct was to pull away and tell her to go to hell. Push her away like I did everyone, but as looked into her eyes, I couldn’t fucking move… I wanted those hands to move lower, to touch every part of me.

Aliyana’s hand moved up, her fingers brushing past my hair until her index finger ran over my short beard. “Elpi?”

Reaching up, I gripped her hand to throw it off my face. Her breath hitched as our hands touched, but I held on… Fuck knows why, but I held her hand against my cheek, my heart slamming crazy fast in my chest.

A flush of red raced up from Aliyana’s chest to her neck and cheeks. Her tongue ran over her full pink lips and her eyelids lowered as she stared at me, just breathing… the two of us just fucking breathing.

“Elpi…” Aliyana hushed and began moving toward me. I stared at those full lips and wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to slam her up against the wall and fuck her until neither of us could stand.

But I couldn’t…
We
couldn’t.

Squeezing her hand, I pulled it from my face and laid it at her side. Disappointment showed in her hurt expression, and I reluctantly moved to the middle of the gallery, giving us some space.

“Elpi?” Aliyana called from behind me. As I faced her, she was playing with a loose strand of hair that had fallen from her band. She looked so goddamn cute and innocent, looking at me with those huge exotic eyes, her long lashes fluttering against her high cheeks. “Are you okay to talk about the others?” she asked shyly.

No,
I wanted to say.
I’m done with all this exhibition shit, dredging up things from my past that I don’t ever wanna face.

Instead, I took a deep breath and nodded.

A relieved smile spread on her face, and she moved to stand beside me. I immediately felt her warmth, and the air became thick around us. Aliyana dipped her head and blushed, and I knew she felt the weird pull between us too.

Why did everything in my life have to be so fucking complicated?

“So which one should we do next?” she asked.

“I don’t care,” I said, my hands in pockets, feeling my smokes… I really wanted a damn smoke.

Aliyana started walking straight for my biggest piece,
the
piece, and I stopped dead in my tracks. It took Aliyana a second to realize I wasn’t behind her. In fact, I’d turned my back, feeling like a damn crack had splintered through my chest.

I couldn’t deal with facing what that sculpture meant to me right now.

“Elpi, what—”

“I’m not going there,” I snapped.

“Okay,” Aliyana said cautiously. “Do you want to choose another one?”

I closed my eyes and felt myself relax. Making myself scan the room, almost all the pieces tore me apart. All of them had meaning… meanings that were too hard to face. But I could get through a few.

Walking to a smaller piece, an hourglass with a hand reaching up through the sand, I motioned with a nudge of my head for Aliyana to join me.

“This one’s okay?” she asked, and I threw her a single nod. “Do we have a title?”

As I looked at the hand of the man drowning in the sand, I felt the suffocation, the impossible situation he was in… the heavy sand pulling him further and further down…

“Downfall,” I blurted out.

Just like before, I felt Aliyana’s eyes scrutinizing my face, probably trying to read me more, but this time I stayed stoic.

“Downfall,” she repeated, scribbling in her notepad. “And the inspiration?”

*****

After the sixth piece, I felt emotionally and physically drained.

“Do you want to call it quits for tonight?” Aliyana asked followed by a yawn.

Exhaling a relieved sigh, I ran my hands down my exhausted face. “Yeah,” I replied, and for the first time since I’d come into the gallery, my muscles seemed to lose tension… then began aching like fuck.

As I worked out the cricks in my neck, I heard Aliyana move beside me. I stared down at her. She was blushing.

She was affected by me… And I liked that more than I should have.

“So…” she said quietly, edging even closer. My palms began sweating as she approached. My heart thundering in my chest. “Thank you for doing this tonight. I can’t believe how powerful your words are against your already breathtaking works of art.”

I fought a smirk. Coming from any other curator, I was sure it would’ve been just a line to crawl up the sculptor’s ass, but not her. I saw in her eyes that she loved all this crap. And even crazier, she loved my work… the twisted, fucked-up sculptures from my mind.

How that was possible I had no idea. I was convinced if she actually knew who I was, what I’d done, she’d see the sculptures in a completely different light; repulsion, and a fucking lame attempt to gain forgiveness.

“It’s late, or early, depending on how you want to look at it,” she laughed and shyly stared at the floor.

I frowned, wondering why she was still talking. When she looked up at me through her long lashes, the view of her in face in the moonlight stole my breath. If I were a painter, I would’ve created a damn masterpiece off that one stunning memory alone.

“Are you hungry?” My frown deepened, and I watched her swallow. Her hand lifted to twirl that same loose strand of hair around her finger. “I… I mean, would you like to get breakfast with me? That is if you’re hungry?” she asked nervously.

I opened my mouth to say no, when my stomach growled. Truth was, I was fucking starving.

Aliyana, on hearing my stomach, paused, then smiled a dimpled megawatt smile, the beauty of it nearly knocking me the fuck out. This time, there was no smirk, just a reluctant smile spreading on my lips.

It felt strange to smile. I hadn’t in so long.

“Elpi,” Aliyana said through a uncontained laugh. “You actually smiled!” Her face was all lit up like lights at Christmas, and I shook my head.

“Yeah, don’t get used to it. It’s a rare occurrence.”

Aliyana stepped back and put her hand on her chest. “And you have a sense of humor too?”

I watched her laughing, and my chest tightened to the point I thought the muscles would tear underneath my skin.

As Aliyana gradually lost her laughter, she stepped even closer to me, her tits brushing against my shirt. I wasn’t smiling anymore. No, now I was breathing hard, fighting the urge to take her in my arms and smash my lips to hers.

Aliyana blinked, then blinked again without saying a word, only to then offer, “Breakfast?”

Lifting my hand, I couldn’t help but take that long strand of hair that fell over her cheek and tuck it back into her messy knot.

Hearing Aliyana’s breath hitch at my touch, I couldn’t resist leaning down, inhaling the scent of her hair… lavender.

Aliyana’s firm tits brushed against my thin T-shirt, her slim thigh pressing firm against my hard cock. Her warm, minty breath blew over my cheek, bristling my beard, when I reached into my back pocket, pulling out my car keys.

“I’ll drive,” I said roughly, moving back, snapping the unbearable tension that had cocooned us.

Breathless, Aliyana pressed her hand against her stomach, getting her bearings. “Okay,” she managed to say and fell into step behind me as I burst through the curtains, hightailed it out of the exit and gasped in the cool Seattle air, light rain splashing against my heated face.

Hearing the door close behind me, I pulled out a smoke and placed it between my lips. I inhaled a long, sweet drag, the smoke filling my lungs, calming me the fuck down.

Without glancing behind me, I pounded pavement to my car and opened the passenger door, leaving it open for Aliyana. As I slumped into the driver’s seat, Aliyana dropped down beside me, her brown eyes still glazed from our moment under the dome.

Lifting my smoke, I inhaled a long drag, then flicked the ash into the ashtray on the dash. “Where we going?” I asked, looking straight ahead through the blurred-with-rain windshield. “I don’t know Seattle yet.”

Aliyana sucked in a breath. “Neither do I. I can only think of one place.”

“Is it private, you know, not busy with a shitload of folk?”

“It’s small.”

Switching on the ignition, I stubbed out my Marlboro cherry, lit another smoke, and let it sit on my bottom lip.

“Direct me.”