Sweet Montana Christmas (24 page)

Could he come to grips with it before he made a decision that would fill his life with regrets?

• • •

 “I have to go to Seattle for a few days,” Sue Anne told Zach over dinner a few nights later. “My grandmother is having her other knee done, and I need to help her out a bit. Julie says she can handle the shop.”

Zach twirled the spaghetti carbonara on his fork. It was one of the simpler dishes he'd learned to cook for himself, and it pleased him to make her dinner when he could. She often whipped together a good meal for them, but since she was on her feet all day, he wanted to pamper her.

“When are you going?”

“Flying out Thursday morning and I'll be back Sunday night.”

“I have to work on Sunday, but I can take you to the airport on Thursday morning if you can find someone to take you home.”

“I'll see if Julie can pick me up.”

“Okay.”

They ate in silence for a few moments, the letter inviting him to apply for another job sitting like a lead weight in his back pocket.

“Is something bothering you?” she asked. “You seem quiet.”

She was getting to know him too well. May as well rip off the Band-Aid.

“I got a letter over the weekend from the human resources department at LAX,” he said.

“Oh?” Her attempt at covering her concern and feigning interest didn't quite stick.

“One of the guys I met in Dallas recommended me for an opening. They want me to send a résumé.”

“Oh.”

He put down his fork and grabbed her hand. “Sue Anne, I was honest with you. I told you I wasn't sure about staying in Missoula.”

She slid her hand out.

“I know. I just didn't expect it would be this soon.” She set her own fork down. “I'm not really hungry anymore.”

“It's not going to happen for a while. There's lots of time.”

“To do what? Get closer so it hurts even more when you leave?” She pushed her plate to the center of the table. “I thought we were building something real here—something that would be more important than your need to prove you're better than a mistake you made in Denver.”

“It wasn't just something that happened. I fucked up. Someone could have died.”

“Give me a break. It was a drill. No one died. Yeah, you messed up, but you learned your lesson. If you were so intent on proving yourself, you should have stayed in Denver and proved yourself to the team you let down. I'm sure they would have given you another chance eventually.”

His temper rose. Why couldn't women understand it wasn't that simple?

“I couldn't do that.” He pushed back his chair and started pacing.

“Why not?”

“Because they didn't trust me anymore.”

“Then it was up to you to build that trust again. It would have taken time, but you could have done it. Then you could have been in the airport you wanted instead of being stuck here in little old Missoula.”

She shoved back from the table. Her half-full dish landed on the counter with a clank.

Shit.
He was screwing everything up. And he had no idea how to make it right.

That wasn't quite true. He could stay in Missoula.

Sue Anne's back was stiff as she moved around the kitchen area, slamming leftovers into containers and shoving them into the refrigerator. Was she worth it?

Pat said the chief had given Zach a chance. If he left, there would be no way he could ever come back to Missoula.

His chest contracted. Was he being a fool?

He pushed the thought aside. Pat's girlfriend had come to Missoula to be with him. Would Sue Anne consider a change? She could sell chocolate anywhere, couldn't she?

Even as he approached her to ask, he knew it was a stupid move.

“Sue Anne, I'm sorry.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Let's not fight. I promised you a good Christmas, and I meant it. I'm going to get everything on your list and make it your most memorable Christmas ever.” He was sure he could do it, even though the unopened envelope she'd given him was sitting on his dresser.

“And then what? Leave?” She turned to face him, her eyes red with unshed tears. “Don't bother. I didn't think you could get everything on the list. Now I'm sure of it.”

“Look, Sue Anne. What if ... what if ... I asked you to come to LA with me? I ... um ... really like you.”

She looked at him like he had two heads.

“I have a business here.” Her words were carefully enunciated. “A business I have spent the last year building from the ground up. I invested everything I had in this building. I am not walking away from it. If you want to run away from your problems, go ahead.”

“Is that what you think I'm doing?”

“I think that's your pattern. You screw up in Denver, and you leave rather than face it. You have problems with Erin, and you move out. We're getting too close for you, so you run away to the big city.”

“They offered me the job.”

She shook her head. “You were looking. They wouldn't have offered if they didn't know that.”

Was he running away from a chance at happiness because he was stubbornly sticking to his plan? And if she was right, why would she want him around? He wasn't any use to anybody.

“I have to take this opportunity.” Maybe if he said it often enough, he'd believe it. “We knew there was this possibility. I told you from the beginning. I don't even know if I have the job or not. Can't we keep seeing each other through the holidays? I know you don't want to be alone.” Even as he continued talking, he knew he sounded like a jerk.

“No.” There was a steely resolve to her voice. “I don't want to be in a relationship that's going nowhere. I deserve more than that. If this job doesn't materialize, there'll be another one. It's over, Zach, Christmas or no Christmas. I'll be fine.”

Her shoulders straightened, and she stared him directly in the eyes.

“Well, that's that, then.”

“Yeah.”

“So, do you want a ride to the airport?”

“No, thanks. Reed doesn't have my keys anymore. My car should stay where I put it. And I'll remember to turn out the lights this time.”

He took a deep breath.

“I should probably go.”

“Probably.”

He debated whether or not he should kiss her.

“I'm sorry. I really am,” he said.

“So am I.”

The door's thud behind him sounded hollow in the dark night.

Sue Anne cried herself to sleep, Sugar as close to her as the dog could get.

She was an idiot. He'd told her he was leaving. She thought she could change his mind.

She pounded her pillow.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

She'd known better. Now she was facing another Christmas alone. She'd had a lot of hope she could change his mind. Too much hope.

But her mother had been right. She needed to show respect for herself if she wanted anyone else to do it. Staying in a dead-end relationship for the sake of the holidays was no way to treat herself.

At five-thirty in the morning, she gave up the search for sleep. Somehow she managed to stagger through the morning. Midafternoon, Jaiden ran into the shop, boots clomping on the floor, door clanging behind him.

“Miss Sue Anne, there's some man handing out flyers about your shop. They say you use infer ... inferi...”

“Inferior?”

“Yeah. He says your stuff is bad. Look!”

He handed her a crumpled piece of paper.

“Don't buy Sweets Montana chocolates!” screamed the headline.

She scanned the rest of the paper, which claimed she bought the cheapest ingredients and marked up the prices to make a killer profit.

Reed. It had to be. He was making good on his threat to ruin her.

“Where is this man, Jaiden?”

“Over by Higgins.” The boy pointed east.

“Okay.” She looked around. She couldn't let this threat stand.

The bell jangled again. Zach.

Could this day get any worse?

“What do you want?” she asked, her tone as cold as she could make it.

“I needed to talk to you. Then I saw this.” Zach held up another flyer. “I swear I'm going to pound the...”

Sue Anne cleared her throat and looked at Jaiden.

“Oh. Yeah. Well, you know what I mean. I'm going to make him stop.”

“Can I go, too?” Jaiden asked. “That man has no right to spread lies about the shop. These chocolates are the best!”

“You can say that again, buddy.” Zach high-fived the boy.

The ache in her heart increased. He was a good man.

A good man with a fatal flaw.

“I have an idea,” Zach said to her.

“What?”

“Can you make up a list of ingredients you use in plain fudge? Brand names and everything.”

“Okay.” Her voice was dubious.

“I'm going to buy a pound of that fudge right there.”

“You don't have to...”

“Shhh,” he said with a grin. “I'm handling this.”

She quickly wrote down a list of the items that went into the fudge—it wasn't much since she didn't add anything like preservatives. Still unsure of what he had planned, she handed it to Zach.

“I'm going to need your help,” he said to Jaiden. “We've got man things to do.”

“Sure!”

“Okay,” he said to Sue Anne. “Cut up the chocolate into little pieces—just enough for a bite. Can you put it in two boxes? Half and half?”

“Sure.” She was beginning to get an idea of what he had in mind.

She saw him add “Sweets Montana” in big letters to the bottom of the list of ingredients.

“Okay, buddy, let's go.”

Zach and Jaiden left. Why did Zach have to be so wonderful and an ass all rolled into one? She wanted to place her shoe in his butt, kick him onto her bed, and then crawl into his arms and cuddle all night.

Nothing had changed. He was still leaving. What could she say that could change his mind? They needed to end it now, before the holidays, before she had another Christmas memory to forget. Her chest ached with pain.

An older woman opened the door a crack. “Is this Sweets Montana?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, good. What a lovely place. I don't know why I never noticed it before. Your nice young man pointed me in this direction. He's so sweet with your son.”

Sue Anne started to explain that Zach wasn't her man, nor was Jaiden her son, but decided it wasn't worth the effort.

“What can I get you?” she asked.

“I want some of that fudge I just tasted. It was amazing. And a bunch of other things. The ladies are coming over for bunko on Saturday, and they'll just love your chocolate. And make sure you give me lots of business cards. I don't know what that other guy thought he was doing, running down your sweet little shop. I could tell the minute I tasted it that you used only the best ingredients. I walked right over to that Neanderthal and gave him a piece of my mind.”

Sue Anne laughed out loud. Zach and Jaiden had saved the day for her shop.

If only ... She pushed the desire from her heart. No use wishing for things that weren't possible.

• • •

“How did you know you loved Grandpa?” Sue Anne asked her grandmother, who was resting on the couch after finishing her physical therapy exercises, a cold ice pack on her knee.

A dreamy expression floated across her grandmother's face.

“Henri made my heart flutter the moment I met him,” she said. “Then, everything he said and did cemented him in my mind as a kind, considerate, and loyal man. He was human, but his intentions were always good. He treated me like a queen and supported everything I did.” She patted Sue Anne's hand. “Why? Do you think you're in love?”

Unfortunately, the answer was yes, but she still didn't want to say it out loud.

“You're thinking too hard,” Grandma said, picking up her cup of tea from the round table beside her. “You either are or you aren't. Love can slowly grow and then wage a sneak attack when you least expect it. Or it may slowly blossom as you get to know a person. But either way, you'll know it when you feel it.”

Oh, she knew it.

Sighing, she picked up her laptop and sat at the table to check out the orders from the test site she'd started a few weeks ago. She'd found a company that was willing to pack and ship the fudge on a regular basis, complete with dry ice to keep it cool during the hot weather.

Melted fudge was not pretty.

She'd asked some of her friends in Texas to place a few orders so she could test the system of getting the chocolate to the shippers, to the customer, and most of all getting paid.

So far, things seemed to be working well.

An hour later, her grandmother stood up, a groan accompanying the movement.

“You okay?” Sue Anne asked.

“Yes.” Her grandmother waved her hand. “Just a few aches and pains—to be expected. It'll get better.” She hobbled to a cabinet in the corner and took out a rectangular box. “It's ironic that you opened a chocolate shop. I wanted to see if you made a go of it before I gave you this.” She held out the box to Sue Anne.

Sue Anne pulled open the lid. Nestled inside, yellowed newspaper cradled several metal molds of Santa Claus and reindeer.

“Oh, my God. These are amazing!”

“They belonged to Henri's grandfather. He made chocolate in a small village in France before the family immigrated to the states. He set up shop again in Charlotte. The molds have been passed down for generations. Now you should have them.”

She hugged Sue Anne close to her. “Your father would have been so proud of you.”

Tears formed in Sue Anne's eyes, as the love from generations wrapped around her. This is what she wanted in her life, the love to continue on to her grandchildren. She'd let Zach go, mend her heart, and find the right man.