Sweet Obsession (33 page)

I heard Billal’s voice outside the door asking if I were all right. Before I could even respond, he started pounding on the door.

“Loula, open the door,” he yelled, pounding harder now. “Open the door. Let me in,” he said, reminding me of a time when Nidal had once pounded on the door and threatened to break it down if I did not open it.

Without hesitation, I opened the door, and Billal stepped inside just in time because Nidal’s voice was heard down the hall. He was coming right at us. Billal closed the door and locked it just as Nidal stood outside.

“Loula, what is wrong? Are you feeling under the weather?” Nidal asked impatiently, pounding on the door.

Billal took me in his arms and held me close to him. I was still feeling a little dizzy, and I did not respond to Nidal.

“I know you are both in there. Open the door now!” Nidal demanded.

I could hear another voice now outside the door. It was the queen. She was asking Nidal what had happened, and he told her that I was inside with Billal and would not open the door.

“Dear, are you all right in there?” the queen mother asked with concern in her voice.

I hated to keep the queen waiting for an answer, and I responded out of respect, “Yes, Your Highness, I’m feeling better. Billal is here with me. Please, go back to your guests. We will come back to the dining room in a few minutes,” I lied.

“Are you sure, child? Should I call the doctor?” she asked, waiting patiently for a reply.

But before I could answer, Nidal stepped closer to the door. “Loula, I demand to know what happened!” he asked, startling me with the tone of his voice.

I was annoyed with him.
Who does he think he is? How dare he act as though he is concerned for my welfare after everything he put me through!

“Go away, Nidal. I’m fine. Do not worry about me. Billal is here with me, and he is taking good care of me,” I said in a dismissive tone, trying to make him jealous.

I heard his footsteps walk away.

“Loula, we are going back to the dining room, and I will look forward to your return promptly,” the queen said. Without waiting for a response, I heard her light steps walk away from the door.

Billal lifted my chin up, and our eyes locked. “You have a lot of explaining to do. After we drink our tea, we will excuse ourselves and go to our room. I want you to tell me everything that is on your mind,” he said in a threatening tone.

Then he opened the door, and we both walked back to the dining area.

We sat in our chairs, and all eyes were upon us. Nidal’s piercing gaze was so scary. I winced and looked away. Shaeena looked at me suspiciously. The king looked like he wanted to throttle me, and the guests looked embarrassed. Only the queen looked at me with some compassion. I suddenly missed my mother. I choked back the tears that threatened to spill, and I looked down at my empty plate. At this time, it was the safest place to look at. My mother, who had died from the whooping cough when I was but a child, had loved me unconditionally. I had felt safe in her arms. When God took her from me, I was devastated and felt all alone in this world. My father had died the previous year from a rattlesnake bite on the leg. My mother and I were left to fend for ourselves, and after my mother was taken from me, I was living in a world of make-believe.

Now here I was again, feeling all alone. The room started spinning again, but I just sat there, trying not to get anyone’s attention. The last thing I needed was trouble again. I did not have an appetite anymore, and the tea only made me want to throw up, so I just played with my napkin until it hit me like a ton of bricks. The spinning room and the feeling like I wanted to throw up could only mean one thing. My eyes opened wide with the realization that I could be pregnant again with Nidal’s child.

I do not know if I should laugh or cry. To be carrying Nidal’s baby is a blessing, but if anyone found out, especially Shaeena, my baby’s life would be in danger again. Especially since I have lost all favor with the king. I would have to lie if I am pregnant and say that Billal is the father. I know Billal would come to my rescue and save me from some horrible fate that might await me if the truth be known
. Unconsciously, my hand was rubbing my stomach. The idea of carrying Nidal’s child again was overwhelming.

I looked sideways and caught Billal curiously studying my face. His expression looked as if he knew my secret. We shared eye contact before I quickly looked away. This would not be the right time to explain my situation to him. He knew something was up, and he took hold of my hand and gently squeezed it. Nidal sensed something was going on as well, and he sat quietly staring at the both of us, trying to figure us out.

The servants cleared the table, brought out the pastries, and poured tea into our cups. Shaeena was engaged in conversation with Billal. They sat across from each other, and Nidal sat across from me. Most everyone at the table was listening to the king tell a tale. He had grabbed their attention with his clever words. He loved being the center of the universe. The queen rolled her eyes as the king exaggerated the legendary saga. But as the king continued his story, I realized he had chosen this particular story for a reason. He was warning me in some way, for the story he told was of a forbidden love that ended badly. He stared at me as he ended his story about the mistress who was executed because she stood in the way of the future king. There was silence in the room. Even the servants stood still at the last words the king spoke. Not a movement in the room until the queen started to laugh nervously, saying, “Oh, hush. You are so melodramatic!” She waved her hand at him as she laughed some more.

But I knew the queen well. Her laugh was a cover-up. She too knew what the king was implying. At that moment, Billal stood up and announced we would be going to our room for a nap. He winked at the king, grabbed my hand, and pulled me to my feet. I followed behind him as we walked out of the dining area. Billal grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to his side. The guards by the door took notice of this and smiled at us. We took the stairs two at a time, and when we reached our room, Billal opened the door and gently pushed me inside. He quickly closed the door and led me to the bed. He motioned for me to sit on it, and then Billal kneeled down in front of me.

“Tell me what is wrong, Loula,” he pleaded.

“I am pregnant with Nidal’s baby,” I said simply. “I need your help, Billal, or the baby does not stand a chance. Will you help me?” I hoped his answer was what I needed to hear.

Billal’s face looked ashen. He stood abruptly and walked to the other side of the room. He started pacing back and forth. I knew my news came as a shock to him, but I too was shocked to realize that I was pregnant again with Nidal’s baby. Finally, Billal walked back to the bed and sat down. He turned and looked at me steadily, and I saw the tiny fine lines on his face. When he started to speak, I heard the bitterness in his voice. I waited, anticipating the worst.

“Loula, I love you, and you know that. I have only told you about a million times.” He laughed bitterly. “I have tried many times to warn you about Nidal, but to no avail. You still love him. You are carrying his child again! A child that will never be accepted as Nidal’s by him or the king! You will put your unborn child in danger by your own admission! Once you announce that you carry Nidal’s child, the baby is as good as dead!” he whispered ruthlessly. His brutal words took me aback. A miserable silence followed for a few minutes as I tried to gather my wits.

“Your baby will be in grave danger once the word is out! You must never reveal to anyone who the father is! The king does not favor you anymore! Once he learns your secret, he will find a way to kill the baby! Your baby is a threat to the crown! The king will see to it that you are hanged!” Billal grabbed my shoulders and shook me lightly. “Please, Loula, you cannot tell anyone who the real father is!”

I could tell that Billal was frightened. “So what am I to do then? Who should I say is the father?” I knew what his answer would be. Tears welled up in my eyes. My heart ached. I was in a bad situation, and I too believed that the king would lash out at me. He would let nothing stand in his way. He wanted Nidal to marry Shaeena.

“I will claim your baby as mine! I will tell the world I impregnated you,” he said.

I did not feel inclined to argue. I knew it was my baby’s only chance of survival. My hand automatically dropped to my stomach, and I rubbed it unconsciously.

“Thank you for the offer. I accept,” I said quickly before he could overthink his decision and change his mind.

I was exhausted, and my heart was tortured, but under the circumstances, I was left with no choice but to go along with the deception. I dropped my head on his shoulders and wept. Billal wrapped his arms around me and tried to comfort me, but it was too late for comfort. The hard fact was that I was never going to be able to share my life with the man whom I loved more than life itself. I felt cheated out of happiness, but I was grateful for having such a friend as Billal. He was a blessing in my life, and I knew that he would protect me from harm.

Billal gently pushed me back and looked into my eyes. “Loula, we have to announce that we have been lovers all this time. Otherwise, they will not believe that I am the father of your baby,” he said. I could tell that he was hoping I would agree with him on this. “We must announce it immediately. Otherwise, everyone will speculate the truth. Tonight at dinner, I can make the announcement. I will tell them that we fell in love, we have been having a secret affair for some time now, and you are carrying my child.” He paused only for a second. “I will announce that we are going to be married as soon as possible. I will tell them how much I love you and that your feelings are mutual, and ask the king for his blessings.” I could tell he was pleased with himself for figuring it all out.

I sighed.
What choice do I have? None!

“Fine, Billal. Make me your wife. I promise you that I will not let you down. I will try to be a loving bride,” I said, not sure if I would be able to keep that promise.

Billal scrambled to his feet. He smiled from ear to ear. “I’m so happy, Loula. You will not regret your decision. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I know you still love Nidal. This will be very hard for me to deal with, but as God is my witness, I will do everything in my power to make you love me and only me!” he said excitedly. “Come on, Loula. Let us go find the king. He is probably in the tearoom drinking tea with the queen,” he said happily as he pulled me up to my feet. I was exhausted, but I did not want to burst his bubble. He was, after all, helping me to a better life.

Billal opened the door to the tearoom and pulled me alongside him through the doorway. The king and queen were sitting by the table in the middle of the room, and Nidal and Shaeena were sitting on the couch on the other side of the room sipping their tea. They were startled to see us as we bustled in the room. Nidal looked totally surprised to see us. He put down his cup and waited for Billal to say something, as he looked from Billal to me for an explanation because we had entered the tearoom without announcing ourselves first, as was the custom. Even before Billal opened his mouth to speak, I witnessed Nidal tense, sensing Billal was about to announce something that would not sit well with him.

Billal bowed in front of the king and said, “Forgive us, Uncle, for barging in like this unannounced.”

The king smiled. He favored Billal and motioned for us to sit down. “Please join us for a cup of tea,” he said. There was a glint in his eyes that made me weak with worry

“Thank you, Uncle,” Billal said, “But first, if I may, I have a couple of announcements to make.” Billal turned, took my hand, and pulled me next to him. “Uncle, I want to let you know that I have asked Loula for her hand in marriage, and she accepted. Now all I need is your blessing.” He moved closer to the king, waiting for his reply.

“Well, well, well!” The king licked his lips. “This is sudden news! When did the both of you become an item? I was under the impression that the lady was pining for someone else.” He laughed, pulled the napkin from his lap, and wiped his mouth.

“Well, Uncle, we have found love. Loula and I have been together for a long period of time. As a matter of fact, Loula is going to have my baby.” Billal glanced at Nidal with satisfaction.

My heart stopped beating. I looked around the room at everyone, and my eyes landed on Nidal’s face. He looked stunned. His face turned white as the blood drained from his face. Shaeena’s mouth dropped open, but she looked extremely pleased with Billal’s confession. The queen stared at us suspiciously, surprised by the turn of events, and the king threw his head back and roared with laughter.

“You son of a bitch, you did not skip a beat, did you? You impregnated her! Boom! Just like that!” the king said with amusement. “Of course you have my blessing. See to it that the arrangements are made hastily before people start running their mouths. All we need is to have rumors flying around the palace questioning the baby’s paternity,” he said with a lazy grin.

“Thank you, Uncle. I will forever be thankful for your kindness,” Billal said.

The king motioned for us to sit down and drink tea with them. And we did. It was the polite thing to do. The king looked at me, making me feel uneasy. He did not waste any time making me feel unwelcome as his gaze swept over me.

He shook his head. “Are you sure you want to marry her? She is but a commoner, you know,” he said with calm superiority.

As if I were not in the room at all … as if his words did not take ten years of my life away
. I squirmed in my seat, knowing the king had the power to crush me at any given moment if he chose to. He was very powerful, and he hated my guts.

“Uncle, please, we love each other. I want nothing more than for Loula to be my wife,” Billal declared.

I looked over at Nidal and realized there was a shuddering tension about him as if he were a hairbreadth from exploding. Our eyes met and locked.