Sweet Silken Bondage (37 page)

Confident that he would be fine, Molly left the
house, then paused outside the door for a moment,
trying to guess where Dev might have gone. He'd
left her over an hour ago, and as time had passed
she'd grown concerned about him. The possibility
that he might have fled didn't even occur to her.
She knew he would never do that. Finding no clue
as to the direction he'd gone, she wandered down
the path that led past their small tumbledown barn
and on to the small pond beyond.

It was late, and the moon was high in the night
sky, casting everything in silvered relief. Molly
couldn't see Dev anywhere around, but the irregular
sound of something like pebbles being thrown into
the water drew her on. As she moved down the
bank, she caught sight of him sitting on a rock
there gazing out across the moon-dappled pond. The harsh shadows of the moonlight cast sharp lines
and angles to his face, giving him a very lonely,
forlorn look as he aimlessly tossed one small stone
after another. Her heart contracted in sympathy at
the pain she saw etched in his features. She wanted
to go to him and embrace him. She wanted to
reassure him and tell him that everything would be
all right, but remembering his coolness when he'd
left her earlier, she hesitated to be so bold.

"Dev?" she said his name gently.

Dev glanced up to see Molly standing there in
the moon's glow. He'd done nothing but think about
her since he'd left the house, and it seemed almost
too good to be true that she was actually there.
Gilded as she was by the pale light, she looked
more lovely than ever, with her hair streaming
down around her shoulders in soft, loose curls. He
had to fight down the urge to cast aside the handful
of rocks he was holding and rush to take her in his
arms. It took an effort, but he managed to stay
where he was.

"Molly." His voice was husky as his gaze devoured
her. He wanted to remember for all time just how
beautiful she looked right now. "Why did you come?
Is something wrong?"

"You tell me," Molly prodded. She wanted him to
open up to her, to share all that was troubling him.
She wanted to help if she could.

"Nothing's wrong," he lied. Resisting the temptation to love her, he tore his gaze away from her and
looked out across the placid waters.

"Are you sure?" she asked again, taking a step
closer to rest a hand on his shoulder.

Her gentle touch ignited Dev's passion, and his
anger. He didn't know how one simple touch could
arouse him so, but it did. He wanted her! God,
how he wanted her! He'd been sitting here dreaming of nothing else, and yet he knew it could never be. He cursed the hand fate had dealt him as he
came abruptly to his feet, shrugging away from her
hand.

"Hell, Molly, everything's wrong! But there's nothing we can do to change anything," he told her,
raking a hand through his hair in a nervous, weary
gesture.

"We can talk about it. Maybe that will help."

"Talking about it won't do any good. Nothing
will," he said bitterly.

Molly could see the agony he was in, and she
ached for him. She could no longer stop herself
from reaching out. She needed to comfort him.
Without thought, she went to him and wrapped her
arms around him, resting her head against his
chest. The beat of his thundering heart beneath her
cheek sounded strong and sure, and a soft sigh
escaped her.

"Let me try, Dev."

Her offer was a mesmerizing enchantment in the
midst of his torment. She lifted her head to gaze up
at him, and her eyes were shining with the love she
felt. Dev had managed not to react to her embrace
until he made the mistake of looking down at her.
His control snapped as he saw her expression. He
groaned in abject misery as he surrendered to his
need to kiss her once more.

"Ali... Molly..."

It was a kiss for all time as his warring emotions
drove him to new heights of passion and pain. He
wanted her, but couldn't have her. She was offering
him the heaven he'd longed for all his life, and yet
he couldn't take it. He tightened his embrace,
crushing her to him.

Molly clung to him, feeling and sharing his desperation. She loved him completely and only wanted
to please him. When his lips left hers for a moment, she whispered, "Dev...I love you so..."

Her words jarred him to the depths of his soul.
He continued to hold her close for a moment, then
took her by the arms and stepped back away from
her. "No, Molly."

"No?" She was puzzled. "Dev?"

"Molly, you don't mean that. You can't mean
that," he argued, releasing her abruptly.

"But I do," she insisted.

Dev's mouth twisted as the hopelessness of his
situation haunted him again, and he turned his
back on her, walking down to the water. "I won't let
you," he declared, as if such things could be dictated.

"What do you mean you won't let me?" She
stared after him in disbelief.

"It's impossible, Molly. I can't give you anything.
I can't even promise you tomorrow!" Dev found that
his hands were shaking as he argued with her,
denying himself that which he desired most.

She understood what he was thinking, but she
refused to be so easily dismissed. "I don't care
about any of that! I love you!"

"You don't even know me."

"Oh, I know you, all right, Dev O'Keefe. You're
a fine, honest, wonderful man. You're no killer.
The truth is going to come out. You'll see." She
followed him, coming to stand right behind him.

At her declaration, Dev faced her, his impotent
fury fueling his words. "What if you're wrong?
What if the truth never comes out? What if they
find me guilty, and I hang? It could happen, Molly.
Believe me, it could happen."

"It won't." Her faith that everything would turn
out right did not waver.

"But it might," he repeated. "Don't you see that
it's better for you if this stops right here, right now."

"I can't stop how I feel. I'm in love with you.
That's never going to change"

"I won't do this to you, Molly. I want to protect
you. I don't want you to be hurt."

The thought that he was protecting her was noble, but she didn't want protection from him. She
wanted his love. "What about what I want, Dev?"
she challenged.

"Molly, you just don't understand."

"Oh, yes, I do. You're the one who doesn't understand, Dev. Love me, please, love me." She
didn't give him any further chance to respond, but
went to him, looping her arms around his neck and
drawing him down for a flaming kiss.

As their lips met, Dev uttered a moan of defeat.
Enfolding her in his embrace, he brought her fully
against him. She held tightly to him as she eagerly
demonstrated in the kiss just how much he meant
to her. His denied passion blazed hotly, and his
body burned for her.

This was Dev's wildest desire come true - kissing
Molly in the moonlight, and for a time he was
caught up in the splendor of it. Framing her face
with his hands, he drew back to gaze down at her,
seeing the happiness and adoration sparkling in her
eyes.

"Molly" he growled her name in a hoarse, agonized whisper as he bent to kiss her again, his
mouth covering hers this time in a slow, possessive
exchange.

Without ending the kiss, they sank down together
to the softness of the grassy bank. Their lips met,
parted and cherished. Each kiss was more precious
than the last as they celebrated the glory of the
moment.

Dev knew he should stop, but somehow he
couldn't bring himself to. He needed this...
needed it desperately. Molly wanted it, too. She had
somehow always known that they were perfect for
each other, and she thrilled to his every kiss.

When he began to caress her, softly and tenderly
at first, she whimpered in ecstasy. She was enraptured as he pressed hot kisses to her throat, and
when he began to work the buttons of her bodice,
she waited in breathless expectation. That sweet
flesh bared to his questing touch, he moved lower.
As his lips sought the swell of her breasts above her
chemise, she cried out his name in rapturous delight.

The sound of her voice jolted through him, and
Dev realized just what he was doing. A shudder
wracked his body as he fought to bring his rampant
desires under control. This was exactly what he
hadn't wanted to happen! He raged at himself for
his weakness, and he vowed then and there never to
allow it to happen again. He rolled slightly away
from her to pull himself together.

Molly had been blissfully unaware of anything
except Dev and the wonder of his touch. When he
stopped so suddenly, and shifted away, she was
heartbroken.

"Dev?"

"Don't say a word, Molly. Just don't say a word."
The tautness of his voice silenced her.

The coolness of the night air on her partially
exposed breasts, chilled her as much as his words
did, and she shivered. She watched in silence as he
got up. He stood over her for a moment, staring
down at her, and she would never know that the
image of her lying there with her hair spread out
on the lush grass, her bodice partially undone and
her lips swollen from his passionate kisses, would be
the memory that would stay with him forever and
give him many a restless, sleepless night.

With an iron-will that surprised even him, Dev
said slowly, "I won't let this happen, Molly. I respect
you, and I care about you too much. Wait for a
man who can give you what you need - a family and a future. I'm not that man."

He strode off quickly toward the house, knowing
that if he'd lingered smother minute, he wouldn't
have been able to hold himself away from her. He
drew a long, tortured breath as he moved through
the darkness, and he wondered why his eyes were
burning. By the time he reached the door, he'd
managed to pull himself together, and he let himself
in quietly.

"Jimmy, it's me. I'm back," Dev said softly, thinking the boy would be wondering who had come in.
But as he walked past Molly's mother's room, he
saw that the boy had fallen sound asleep in the
ladderback chair beside the bed. He smiled thinking
of the boy's diligence in staying by her side in spite
of being tired.

Feeling tense and very barren inside, he wandered to the fireplace, and stood looking down at
the hearth. He thought the cold, dead ashes there
greatly resembled his emotional state right now -
barren and lifeless. A short time before a fire had
been burning within him, now it had been brutally
smothered, all its brightness and light extinguished
forever. He remained there, staring sightlessly at the
fireplace, his thoughts as dark as the soot that
stained the walls.

Moments later, he heard the door open behind
him, and he knew without looking that Molly had
returned. He wanted to face her and tell her that
he was sorry. He wanted to make endless love to
her and never leave her. But he knew it could never
be, so he stayed where he was.

Molly entered the room to find Dev standing at
the fireplace with his back to her. She noticed how
he stiffened slightly when she came in, and a great
sorrow filled her. Without speaking, she went toward her mother's room to check.

"Jimmy's asleep," Dev spoke as she would have gone in.

"I'd better wake him and get him in bed then,"
she said, intending to rouse him and have him
switch rooms.

"Wait, don't wake him, Molly. Let me help," he
offered. "Do you mind if I go in?"

"No." She was surprised by his offer.

She watched from the bedroom doorway as Dev
crossed the room and carefully lifted Jimmy into his
arms without waking him or disturbing her mother.
Carrying him like a baby, he took him on into his
own bedroom. Dev lay the soundly sleeping eightyear-old upon his bed and drew the covers up over
him.

Molly saw the infinite gentleness in Dev's manner,
and the unbidden thought came to her that he
would make a wonderful father. It touched her
deeply, and she said a silent, fervent prayer that
nothing would happen to this man. He was too
good, too special, and she loved him so.

"You can have my room for your own while
you're here, Dev. I'll share with Jimmy," she told
him when he emerged from Jimmy's bedroom.

"Are you sure?" He hadn't minded hiding there
during the day, but he hated the thought of her
being put out of her own bed because of him.

"I'm sure. I'll. be able to hear Mother better if I
sleep in here."

He agreed reluctantly. "I just hope I don't have to
impose on you too much longer"

"Dev," Molly said his name sharply to get him to
look directly at her for he'd been avoiding doing it
ever since she'd returned. "You're not imposing. I
was happy to help you. I'm glad that I did."

They both said good night then and parted, bedding down in separate rooms even though in their
hearts neither of them wanted to.

Later as Dev tried to fall asleep, he was tor mented by the knowledge that he was lying in
Molly's bed. He could smell the faint sweet scent of
her on the sheets, and he uttered a groan of frustration as his body ignored his logic and responded
to the delicate fragrance. He rolled over, trying to
force himself to rest, but it only got worse for him
as every time he closed his eyes the vision of her
lying on the grassy bank tortured him in a most
agonizing way. Memories of the heart-stopping
power of her kiss and the exquisite feel of her satiny
skin beneath his hands taunted him endlessly. Tossing and turning, he sought escape through sleep,
but the long hours stretched dark and desolate
ahead of him. When sleep finally claimed him, it
was not the blissful oblivion he'd hoped for, but a
turbulent rest filled with twisted images of angry
mobs, gallows and death. Only as morning neared,
did Molly slip into his dreams. Dev quieted, enjoying, at least in his sleep, the joy of the way things
might have been.