Sweet Surrender (34 page)

“He is charming and kind, and it’s obvious he loves you very much. I was so hopeful that you’d defy the odds and find your happily ever after.”

“Please. This is life, not a fairytale.”

“Tell me what happened, baby. Let me help if I can.”

“There is no help for it. We are too different, from two disparate worlds and we want different things. He doesn’t understand how important it is for me to work, to find my own way.”

“He wanted you to quit your job?”

“No. He wanted… no, he ordered me to cut back at work or change jobs. When I didn’t speak to administration about it, he did it for me. He told them I was quitting and going to work for him at the clinic.”

“Why would he do such a thing?”

She hesitated. It sounded ridiculous when she said it aloud.

“Why, baby?”

“He wanted to spend more time with me.”

Her mother didn’t respond.

“That sounds stupid, I know, but I don’t want to be dependent on him for everything. If I worked for him, he’d be my boss. I’d live in his house, he’d pay my salary, I would be connected to him in every way. If it ended, I’d lose more than a husband. I’d lose my job, my livelihood. I’d have to start over, like—” She stopped suddenly before she made that comparison.

“Like me. That’s it, isn’t it? I’m so sorry, Jess. My bitterness over what happened with your dad has made you the same way. I’ve turned you into a pessimist and made you distrustful. Damn that man, will his interference in our lives never end?” Her mother didn’t usually curse or cry. She did so now through her tears.

“It’s true, I think of what you went through, what we went through, but none of it is your fault. It rests solely on that bastard’s shoulders. After watching you go through what you did, and experiencing it along with you, there’s no way I could come out of it unaffected. I decided a long time ago, back in high school in fact, that I wouldn’t let that happen to me. I came up with a plan, enacted it, got my education, and worked my ass off to make sure that it wouldn’t. I needed a safety net.”

“That’s admirable, Jess, but did you have to do it by sacrificing everything along the way?” She paused briefly, then admitted, “I know about the cheerleading position you gave up.”

“What? How?”

“The sponsor called me. I tried everything I could think of to come up with a thousand dollars, but I couldn’t. The engine in my old Chevy blew about that time, remember?”

“You never said a word.”

“Neither did you. I figured you didn’t want me to know and it was humiliating for me. Not being able to give my daughter something that she wanted so badly broke my heart. I was so proud of you, like I am now.” She laid her hand atop Jessie’s and squeezed. “Don’t keep making sacrifices, Jess. You enjoyed being a surgical nurse and you made good money. Wasn’t that enough? In this management position, you work yourself to a frazzle—long hours, six and seven days a week—I rarely see you, so I can sympathize with Marc in that regard. When will enough be enough, Jessie? When you have a healthy savings account, but you’re alone and miserable like me?”

Jessie pulled away, shaking her head. “You don’t understand either. I thought if anyone would, it would be you.”

“I do understand, baby girl. You learned from me, but not the lessons you should have. I’ve robbed you of a good life as sure as your bastard of a father stole mine from me. I’m so sorry for that.”

* * *

She was rushing back to her floor after her appointment. She’d had a job interview with a local outpatient surgery center that would be opening in the next month or so. They were looking for a nurse manager to begin interviewing, hiring, and training staff before the doors opened and they took their first case. The management group who was responsible for the startup had been very encouraging, seeming impressed by her experience in orthopedic surgery and rehabilitation, as well as her advanced degree.

Changing jobs was a big step. It was sooner than she planned, but she was finding it difficult working at the hospital, more so now than ever before. Naively, she thought she could avoid Marc, yet she saw him everywhere, it seemed. Unable to bear seeing him on the post-op ward every day, she’d requested a transfer to one of the medical floors in need of a manager. It didn’t help. She still saw him around practically every corner, in the cafeteria, the coffee shop in the lobby, and in the elevator, which was exceptionally awkward. Once, she’d gotten on and looked up to see him standing in the back. He was reading over some papers and didn’t look up. It had allowed her a few moments to absorb his striking features as if she could capture his image somehow and burn it eternally into her brain. She stared at him blatantly, until the car jerked, as it always did, and he glanced up. As their eyes met, the longing she felt was nearly suffocating. Behind her, the door opened. She turned and practically dove through, seeking air that didn’t bear the scent of his subtle cologne. He hadn’t been able to follow, not quickly enough, wedged in as he was behind a patient on a stretcher, but he’d called her name. She’d hit the stairs, however, and escaped to the fourth floor, which was obstetrics, where Jenna worked. She’d been on shift thankfully and had let her hide out with her for a bit.

It seemed, she knew, like a silly, juvenile game of cat and mouse, but her heart couldn’t stand to be near him, to see him, let alone speak to him. It wasn’t fair and she despised her cowardice. She wasn’t ready, not yet… if ever.

It was after that incident that she made a decision to look beyond the hospital, which had led to her interview today. Hurrying down the hall to her office, she urged herself not to run as she checked her phone for the millionth time, it seemed. She had ten minutes to get her notes from her office and be in the administrative conference room downstairs. She’d never make it.

Her interview had taken longer than expected. That meant no lunch again, which wasn’t unusual. She didn’t have an appetite lately, anyway. As she passed by the conference room at the corner by her office, the door opened. A familiar voice coming from inside stopped her in her tracks. What was Marc doing on her floor?

Like a lovesick fool, she couldn’t resist turning back for a glimpse of him. When she did, she saw a woman step out. Jessie recognized her laugh before she saw her. It was Christina Barlow. Pain rushed through her. Knowing she should go, she couldn’t bring herself to do so, needing to see them and figure out why they were there together. That thought made her heart lurch. Were they together?

“So we’re set for the thirtieth?” Marc asked from just inside the door. As Christina turned back to reply, she saw Jessie.

Her prayer for the powers of invisibility went unanswered, as did the one for teleportation to anywhere or the floor to swallow her up whole. She was stuck, frozen in place and dreading what would come next. Christina on the other hand seemed thrilled by the chance encounter and smiled malevolently.

She stood on the far side of the doorway as Marc came out and turned to her, in profile to Jessie. She stepped closer to him, her hands moving to slide up his arms, her fingers curling over his broad shoulders. “The thirtieth is perfect for me.”

“Christina—”

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll take care of
everything
.” The last word was drawn out slowly, said low and husky, as if it had a more intimate meaning, a secret that only the two of them shared. She leaned in next and placed a kiss on his cheek. Marc’s hands moved to her waist. Jessie could see them flex and tighten from where she stood.

The pain in her heart intensified. As if the oxygen had been sucked from the air, her lungs constricted. Fretfully, she glanced around for the nearest exit, desperately needing to get away—it was her M.O. lately—to run and hide. She need to get to somewhere private before she fell apart, yet again. Her eyes swept over her office door, no more than twenty yards away. Too close, that wouldn’t do. Then she saw the exit beyond. Before she could command her numb body to take a step, she heard Christina grunt in a soft, sexy, porn star-like manner. Against her better judgment, she took a quick peek and saw her in his arms.

“Christina, what the—” As Marc set her away from him, he turned slightly and caught sight of her. “Jessie!”

Her name from his lips spurred her into action. Frantic to avoid a confrontation with him, she bolted in the opposite direction.

“Jessie, please wait!”

She ignored him, reaching the stairwell in a split second; she pushed the door wide with both hands. It slammed back, hitting the wall with a resounding bang. As fast as she could, she raced down the stairs, thankful she’d worn her nursing shoes and scrubs today. She didn’t stop until she reached the first floor and the ER lobby. Veering to the left, she ran through the double doors to the rear lot and the employee parking beyond.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The sun was peeking above the horizon, painting the sky a palate of pinks, blues, and yellows as the warm breeze blew in from the Atlantic. The bride and groom were gazing lovingly at each other, she in a stunning white chiffon dress and he in a lightweight linen suit. The minister, an older man, was having a bit of difficulty with the venue; he had to speak loudly to be heard over the crashing of the waves, pausing occasionally for the squawking gulls to pass and twice he’d lost his note card in a strong gust of ocean air and Russell, Jared’s dad, had retrieved it. Despite the few glitches, the setting was beautiful, the seaside gazebo filled with only close family and friends as Stacy and Jared said their vows.

It barely registered for Marc, who couldn’t take his eyes off Jessie. She stood beside the bride, her head bowed over the two bouquets she held: one small bunch of freesias; the other, the bride’s bouquet, large with more freesias and those little white flowers with greenery. He couldn’t think straight enough to remember their name.

Her hair was up in a loose gathering of curls at her crown. They fell in soft waves over her shoulders and midway down her back. The mass, which he had always love to stroke and drive his hands into during a moment of passion, gleamed gloriously in the sunshine, the light reddish blond enhancing the light blush of her cheeks. Several strands fluttered in the breeze, occasionally taking flight and blowing across her face. She’d lift her hand to brush them back, or turn her face into the upwind, letting the breeze right them, either way moving slowly so as not to disturb the bridal couple’s moment.

As if she felt his eyes on her, she glanced his way briefly before turning slightly away. It hurt, both in the clenching of his heart and the tightening of his cock because when she moved, she gave him a spectacular view of her in profile.

She wore the sexiest summer dress he’d ever seen. In a bright coral color, it suited her complexion and hair perfectly. The silky fabric gathered high in a band around her neck, leaving her soft arms and shoulders enticingly bare. It draped loosely but her full breasts were displayed beautifully as the wind molded the material to every curve. Nipped at her waist, it fell softly in front, but became more form-fitting in back, accentuating her curvaceous ass. A thin gold belt matched the fine metallic threads subtly running through the fabric and the sandals on her feet. As he looked down, he saw that her toes were painted a matching shade of coral. It was all he could do to keep from rushing to her, sweeping her up, and carrying her down the beach, far away from curious eyes and making love to her in the sand.

“Marc…”

He blinked, turning his head toward Jared, staring at him blankly. What had he said?

“The ring…” Jared said softly.

“Yes, right here, sorry,” he uttered softly as his long fingers dipped into his pocket and produced Stacy’s wedding band. When the groom turned back, Marc shifted his attention back to the ceremony, but sky blue eyes filled with tears were all he could see over Jared’s shoulder.

She stared at him sadly and offered him a tentative smile. It was brief, fading too fast, replaced by a look that he could only describe as utter and complete yearning. It too passed quickly, changing to an expression of abject misery. Stacy turned to her then, holding out her hand for Jared’s ring. Her bright head dipped as she slipped the gold band from her thumb. After she passed it to the bride, she didn’t glance his way again.

Dammit! He wanted to scream, to throw things, punch someone or something, and stomp around in a rage, his frustration was so intense. Sadly, in the last month, he’d done all that.

The night she’d left him, he’d hurled a bottle into the china cabinet, breaking the entire contents, many of which they’d selected together. He’d shattered the glass-paneled doors, the shelving—all of it.

He’d tried punching someone too. Sure, it had been a sparring partner at the gym, but he thought it would help release some of his anger and frustration. It hadn’t, and heaven knows he’d stomped around in a foul mood at work enough in the past month to have lost his reputation as a philandering surgeon, only to be downgraded to a SOB who everyone tiptoed around lest they attract his attention and with it his wrath.

Jared had called him on it, telling him to go to Jessie and have it out with her.

“Spank her stubborn ass until she sees reason. That’s what I did when Stacy tried to kick me out.”

“I can’t get through the door to see her, let alone put her over my knee. Her mother won’t let me in. Did you know she transferred to another floor at the hospital and scheduled herself at odd hours to avoid me?”

“Stacy mentioned that, but the longer this goes on, the harder it’s going to be.”

“I know that, dammit. What do you suggest I do? Should I stake out her office and paddle her ass right there in the hallway between geriatrics and the GI lab?”

“If that’s what it takes, hell, yes. You’re miserable and Stacy says Jessica is despondent. Something’s got to give, Marc.”

That was two days ago and the conversation had weighed on his mind ever since. Should he go all cowboy alpha male on her beautiful ass, taking her over his knee and blistering her behind until she came to her senses, until she realized that they were meant to be together and how truly foolish this separation was?