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Authors: M.B. Buckner

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She waited until they closed
the door behind them and then, with butterflies threatening to choke her; she
turned the deadbolt and pulled the door open.  Her heart lurched crazily
at the sight of Rafe Storm Horse standing there.  He looked so good. 
Tall, bronze, clad in snug, creased jeans, a black t-shirt, his shiny badge
fastened to his utility belt, which also held a holstered gun, making this
visit official business.  His casual dress, the dusty boots and an Atlanta
Braves baseball cap pulled low on his forehead did nothing to diminish his air
of authority as he stood just outside the threshold and looked at her.

“Mesa,” his voice sounded
like satin being dragged over sandpaper and she tingled all over.

“Rafe,” she nodded, pulling
the door open.  “Come on in.”

He stepped across the
threshold, Shirley on his heels.

“I want her out of here,
Sheriff,” Shirley started.

Rafe looked at the older
woman.  “She’s your daughter, Miz Howell.  Don’t you think that’s a
little rash?”

“Hell no, I don’t!” she shot
back at him.  “The only reason she came here is to drag Rance out of that
rehab center and take over the ranch.”

Rafe didn’t want to look at
Mesa.  Just knowing she was standing close enough to touch had his heart
rate kicked up to racing speed, but he couldn’t avoid it.  His eyes cut
toward her and he swallowed.

“Want to clue me in on what’s
going on?”  He asked.

“I’ve come home to stay,
Rafe.  I still own one third of the Rocking H and I’ve been an absentee owner
long enough.  When and if Uncle Rance is able to run the place again, I’ll
be here to help him, and until then, I’m here to do it for him.”  She was
surprised her voice sounded so calm and collected.

“She gave up any interest she
had in this place when she left!”  Shirley’s voice was raised.

“Do you have any papers you
can show me that says that?”  Rafe asked, hoping there was some way he
could resolve this quickly and quietly.

Shirley whirled to face her
daughter.  “Does she have papers showing she’s still part owner?”

Mesa tried real hard not to
smile.  “As a matter of fact, Mom, I do.  I made sure my lawyer, back
in Branson, provided me with all the paper work.  He’s been in constant
contact with Dad’s and Uncle Rance’s lawyers over the years.  Just let me
get them.”  She turned and walked to the stairs where she faced them
again.  “Have a seat, if you’d like.  It might take me a minute to
find the envelope they’re in.  We haven’t unpacked yet.”

Rafe’s eyes followed her up
the stairs. 
We
haven’t unpacked?  He wondered who
we
might be.  Jenny hadn’t mentioned anything about Mesa getting
married.  Come to think of it, until word got out that she was coming
home, Jenny didn’t mention her at all.  He glanced at the door, pondering
how he’d react to a husband walking in.  Anger surged through him at the
thought.

He turned around and looked
at Shirley silently for a few seconds before he walked over to a chair and sat
down.  He resisted the urge to ask her just exactly who
we
was, but
then decided she probably didn’t know either.  After only a few seconds he
got up again and walked over to look out the window at the lake behind the
house.  He hadn’t had so much adrenalin pumping through him since the last
time he’d been with Mesa.  This was something he hadn’t been prepared
for.  He had to get a handle on it.  He couldn’t let her affect him
this way.  Damn, she’d said she was home to stay!  What were the
chances of him being able to avoid running into her occasionally?  Slim to
none.  If this was the way it was going to be, he wasn’t sure how he was
going to deal with it.  He pulled in slow, deep breaths, hoping to slow
his heart rate and pull himself together.  He could hear her moving around
in one of the upper rooms and jumped like a startled deer when Shirley spoke
from the couch.

“Are you always so wound
up?  You act like a long tailed cat at a rocking chair marathon.”

Rafe turned and looked at
her.  “You know she’s got every legal right to be here and the papers to
prove it, don’t you?”

She nodded.  “Yeah, I’m
pretty sure she does.  We’ve got a lot of issues to put to rest and that
won’t happen until we deal with all the anger, hers and mine.”  She rubbed
her hands on the legs of her black jeans.  “I’ve been sitting on that
porch talking to my shrink and she thinks that the sooner Mesa and I clear the
air, the sooner we can build a new relationship.”

“I’ll be damned,” Rafe
breathed out softly.

“Me, too,” Shirley
shrugged.  “I’ve blamed everyone but myself for all the problems in my
life and it took me years to see who the real failure was, but I never realized
what a terrible mother I had been until now.”  She shrugged.  “I
guess it’s time I accept the blame for that, too.  I wasn’t a good
mother.  Hell, I plead guilty to being a negligent mother, but I never
physically abused her.”  Shirley’s eyes filled with tears which she
quickly wiped away.  “She’s my child and I never even told her I loved her
after I started drinking, and I sure as hell didn’t show it.  I want to
put all that behind us if we can, but we’ve gotta start somewhere.”

“Have you tried just talkin’
to her?”  He asked.

“No point in it until she’s
had a chance to unload all the hurt I’ve caused her over the years.  I
hope a good cat-fight might be what we need.  It’s the fastest way to
clear the air, but I think maybe I over-reacted when I called you.  Of
course, I do have a problem with her moving in here without bothering to talk
to me about it.  Like I don’t matter at all, and I still have no intention
of being Rance Howell’s nursemaid.”

Rafe swore softly.  “I
was leadin’ in the average at a jack-pot-ropin’, and you called me over here to
referee a cat fight?  Comin’ here probably cost me a thousand bucks!”

She shrugged again. 
“You’re just doing your job.  I’m not going to apologize for calling.”

Rafe heard Mesa’s steps on
the stairs and turned to look as she entered the room, his eyes drinking in the
sight of her walking across the floor toward him, a white envelope in her
hand.  She walked up to him and held it out.  Her direct approach
surprised him and slowed his reaction time and it took a long moment before he
took it from her hand, his eyes looking steadily at her.  He stifled a
groan.  He could smell her and his heart almost jumped out of his
chest.  He shook his head slightly to gather himself and forced his
attention to the paper now in his hand.  He unfolded it and quickly
glanced over it before he turned and handed it to Shirley.

Giving her plenty of time to
look at it, he continued to inhale the smell of Mesa.  He’d never wanted
anything in his life as bad as he wanted to touch her.  His fingers
tingled and he rubbed the tingle onto the back pockets of his Wrangler
jeans.  Finally he looked directly at her again.  “So, how’ve you
been?”

She shrugged uncomfortably,
not looking at him.  “Fine,” she replied, finding it hard to stand there
under the intense scrutiny of his chocolate eyes.  Feeling the need for
words to fill the space, she spoke.  “Jory and I sold the club.”

“So you could come home?”

She nodded.

Realizing Jory was part of
the
we
he’d been so concerned about gave him a sense of relief.

“What’s he gonna do?”

“Take care of me, just like
always.  That’ll never change.”  She looked up at him, noting the
sparks of amber lighting his eyes.  “He’s down at the barn.”

“Who’s down at the barn?”
Shirley cut in, pushing the papers back toward Rafe.  “Have you dragged
some man in here to shack up with?”

Mesa turned her attention
back to her mother.  She smiled, humor easing her tension a little. 
“That’s right, Mom.  I learned all about that from you.  Remember?”

“Well, I’ll make damned sure
my accountant goes over the books regularly.  None of
my
money will
be going to support your lover!”  Shirley then turned and walked out,
slamming the heavy door behind her.

Neither Mesa nor Rafe moved
until they heard the sound of her car fading in the distance.

“I’m sorry she called you out
here, Rafe,” she said, when she was finally able to speak.  “Would you
like a glass of iced tea?”  Then she shook her head, “I’m sorry. 
There probably isn’t any made since no one’s been staying here while Uncle
Rance was hurt.”  She turned to walk into the kitchen.  “I’ll make a
pot of coffee.”

“None for me thanks.” 
He looked toward the front door, knowing that he’d move in that direction if he
were smart.  Instead, he found himself turning to look at her.  “So
Jory came with you?”

She nodded. 
“Sure.  We’re family.”

Rafe noticed how long her
hair had grown.  With it pulled back in the clip at the nape of her neck,
she looked almost like she was seventeen again.  “How do you think he’ll
fill his days while you’re out ridin’ with the hands?  If I remember
correctly, he’s not much of a country boy.”  He looked around the
room.  It was strange to see her here, and then it hit him hard when he
realized they were alone in the house.  Just the two of them.  His
heart rate jumped up another notch.

She was moving around the
kitchen, searching the cabinets for the coffee pot without a lot of success.

He couldn’t keep from
watching her every move, and now he realized that the smell of her already
filled the room.  Or maybe it was the memory of her that filled his head.

“He plans to start a small
garden.  It’s something he’s talked about doing for years, but running a
night club doesn’t give a person a lot of time for a hobby,” she was saying as
she searched for the pot.

Rafe walked to the pantry
door and pulled it open.  Reaching in, he took the pot and carried it to
the sink and filled it with water.  Next he reached onto the top shelf of
one of the cabinets and found the filters and placed one into the cradle. 
Then he lifted the canister that held the coffee from the top of the
refrigerator and scooped some into the filter.  He pressed the button and
turned to look at her.  “Rance invited me out to fish with him a few times
and we’ve shared a few cups of coffee with our fishin’ stories.”

“Thanks,” she said, not
looking at him, not wanting him to see the way her heart was pounding in her
chest.  She knew she’d be affected by his presence, but she hadn’t
realized how powerful that affect would be.  Her insides were already
trembling.

“This is gonna be damned
uncomfortable, Mesa,” he almost growled.

That pulled her eyes to
his.  “What?”

He chuckled dryly.  “Are
you tellin’ me you don’t feel all the electricity in this room?”

She looked away from him,
recognizing the familiar burn in his eyes.  “I don’t know what you’re
talking about.”

“You’re lyin’.”  He took
the few steps necessary to stop in front of her.

Mesa took a step back and
became aware of the breakfast counter against her hips, nothing but his solid
chest in front of her.

Rafe rested one hand on the
top of the granite counter on either side of her, effectively boxing her
in.  He breathed in deeply, openly savoring the smell of her.  How many
times had he dreamed of being with her again?  “What are we gonna do about
this?”

Her eyes were locked on the
plaid pattern of his shirt, refusing to look up at him.  “Rafe, we need to
talk, but not like this.”  She hated that her voice had taken on a whispery
note.

“I don’t wanna talk, Mesa,”
he whispered.  “You look so damn good and you smell like all my memories
of us.  I don’t wanna talk.  I wanna touch,” he leaned closer, his
breath caressing her lips.  “I wanna taste.”  The final three words
were a raw, husky whisper.

With her heart threatening to
burst from her chest, Mesa dropped her chin against her chest and lifted her
hands, firmly pushing against his hard chest, savoring even that brief feel of
him against her palms.

He allowed her to push him
back a little, but kept her blocked in.  “It’s still here, Mesa. 
Just like it was in Branson.  It won’t go away.”  His voice was still
husky and her hands against his chest were tingling with his heat.

Then he swore softly and
turned away as the front door opened.

Chapter 4

 

 

“Mister Bob said de witch
mobile flied away and I wants to be sure you was okay.”

Mesa’s heart dropped when she
heard Raale’s laughing voice.

“Papa J couldn’t catch me and
I woned de race.”  Then she spotted Rafe and stopped.  “Uht
oh.”  She recognized her father from the pictures she’d been shown again
and again.

Surprised to hear a child, he
turned and looked at her as Jory hurried in behind her.

“Sorry, Mesa.  She took
off before I could stop her,” the older man puffed.  Then, a slight frown
marking his forehead as he sensed the tension in the room, he looked at
Rafe.  “Hey, Rafe.”

Rafe nodded his head, “Jory,”
but his eyes were locked on the face of the child standing uncomfortably
looking back at him.  His heart was pounding like a sledge hammer and he
suppressed the bile that rose up in his throat.  He recognized those
features.  They were smaller on the child and more feminine, but he’d been
seeing those eyes, that nose and those lips every time he looked in a mirror,
all his life.  She was his child!

Mesa dodged around him,
escaped the kitchen and hurried to her daughter where she dropped down on her
knees.  “Raale, I need you to go with Papa J again for a few minutes,
without talking.  Will you do that for me?”

“But Mom…,”

“Without talking.”  Mesa
repeated more firmly.  “It’s important.”

Raale was still looking at
Rafe in the kitchen.  Defiantly she pulled her eyes away and looked at her
mother, those dark eyes sparking with inner fire.  “I hate secrets!” she
said forcefully, tears pooling in those chocolate orbs.  “I won’t neber
habe secrets when I gets to be a grown-up!”

Jory scooped her up and
hugged her close, allowing her to hide her tears against his shoulder. 
“We’ll go back down to the lake and feed the minnows we saw.”  He snatched
a piece of a loaf of bread as he exited the kitchen.

Rafe watched them cross the
porch, go down the steps and continued to watch as Jory carried the child down
the path to the dock that was built out onto the lake.

Mesa dreaded his attention
returning to her, but it finally did.

“So, we need to talk?” 
The huskiness was gone from his voice and instead it held an icy chill. 
“This is a conversation that took a hell of a long time to start, don’t you
think?”

She nibbled the inside of her
bottom lip, a sure sign that she was nervous.  “I didn’t mean it to
happen…like this.  I wanted to tell you.”

Rafe turned his back on her,
his eyes drawn to the two figures sharing the bench built onto the end of the
dock.  “When were you gonna tell me, Mesa?  If Rance hadn’t got hurt,
you wouldn’t ever have come home, and you wouldn’t ever have told me, would
you?”

She shrugged.  “I don’t
know.  What would have been the point?”

“I’m her father, dammit!” 
Rafe never shouted, but his voice was louder and came out dripping with
anger.  “You’d have just gone on pretendin’ that I had nothin’ to do with
her conception?”

“I figured when she got
older, I’d let Jenny tell you and arrange for the two of you to meet.” 
Her answer sounded defeated and that was pretty much how she was feeling.

“Jenny knows?”  His deep
voice almost trembled with his tightly restrained anger.

Mesa nodded.  “I made
her promise not to tell you.”

He swore.  He wanted to
hit something.  His own sister was just as guilty as Mesa!  His eyes
found the window again and as silence filled the room, he managed to regain
control of his temper.  That little girl was his child.  Accepting
that as fact was like a ribbon slowly unfurling and filling him with wonder.

“She knows who I am?” 
He was still looking toward the dock.

“Yes.  She’s seen
pictures of you, from when you were in Branson.”

He turned and looked at Mesa
finally, and she couldn’t believe that warm brown eyes could look so
cold.  “I don’t even know her name.”

“Raale, Raale Storm Horse,”
she answered weakly.

He stood there awkwardly for
a minute before he turned and walked out the back door and followed the path
that led to the dock.

Raale and Jory heard the echo
of his boots as he strode along the wooden planks of the dock, drawing closer
to them with each step.  When she couldn’t stand it any longer, the little
girl got up on her knees and turned around on the bench to watch him approach,
turning her body again to keep her watery eyes on him as his steps carried him
around the end of the bench until he stopped in front of her.

He squatted down facing
her.  “Hey, Raale.”  A warm smile tilted the sides of his lips and
his eyes sparkled with intense emotion even a child could see.

She smiled back at him
shyly.  “Hi.”

His eyes roamed over her face
in total wonder.  Then, when he realized his in-depth scrutiny might be
making her nervous, his smile widened into a grin.  “You’re the best
surprise I’ve ever had.”  He reached out and tenderly wiped away the tears
that remained on her golden cheeks.

She seemed amazed. 
“Really?”

“Cross my heart,” Rafe
replied.  He cut his eyes over to Jory’s face.  “I’d like some time
with…my daughter, if that’s alright.”

Jory looked down at Raale. 
“Will you be okay if I go up and sit at the picnic table?”

She nodded and watched as he
stood up and walked away.  For a long minute, Rafe remained squatting in
front of her, but finally he moved into the spot Jory had vacated.  He
wanted to scoop the child up into his arms, but was afraid he’d scare her, so
he forced himself to sit beside her, calmly.  He leaned forward and rested
his elbows on his knees.  “I’m sorry I didn’t know about you, Raale. 
I’d have…If I’d known, I’d have been to see you before now.  A bunch of
times.”

“You’re not mad at me ‘cuz
I’m your kid?”  She’d been so afraid that he wouldn’t want anything to do
with her.

He stayed leaned forward, but
looked back at her.  “I’m definitely not mad at you.”

“How ‘bouts my mom?  Are
you mad at her?”

Rafe never considered lying
to her.  He nodded his head.  “Yeah, I’m pretty mad at her.  She
should have told me about you, a long, long time ago.”

Raale nodded her head, her
long black braids bobbing over her shoulders, almost as dark as Rafe’s
hair.  “You don’t like secrets neither?”

He sat up straight, resting
his broad shoulders against the back of the bench.  “Nope,” he replied,
allowing one hand to gently touch the top of her head.  “Some secrets are
alright, I suppose, but not if keepin’ the secret hurts someone.”

“I’m glad I’m not a secret
anymore and I ditn’t wants you sad to be my dad.”  She looked down at her
fingers clasped into a small fist in her lap.

Rafe rubbed her back
gently.  “I’m gonna have so much fun bein’ your dad, you’re probably gonna
get sick of me.”  He stroked one finger across her tight fist.

Raale hands turned and
grasped his large hand in her small ones causing Rafe’s throat to tighten with
emotion.  “I neber had a dad before.  It’s….kinda weird.  My mom
says it’s rude to ask strangers questions, but you’re not a stranger, are you?”

He shook his head negatively
as he chuckled.  “No, and you can ask me anything you wanna know.”

She gave serious thought to
her first query.  “Habe you gots any more kids?”

“Nope, you’re the only
one.  My sister has a couple of children.  I’ll take you to meet them
one day soon.  They’re your cousins.”  He wasn’t sure exactly when
that would happen, because right now, his sister was right up there with Mesa,
at the top of the list of people he was angry at.

“Where do you libe?” 
She couldn’t stop the questions.  It seemed they just bubbled out.

“I live on a ranch not far
from here, with Uci.  She’s my grandmother, but she’s the one who raised
me and my sister after our mom died.”

Her coffee bean eyes darted
to the badge clipped to his belt.  “My mom said you’re a cop?”

He nodded.  “I’m the
sheriff.  What that means, is instead of workin’ just in town, me and my
deputies work all over the whole county.”

“Where’s your sheriff suit?”

“At home.  I wasn’t
workin’ today, until I got a call to come out here.”

Just for a minute, the shock
of suddenly being flung into parenthood hit Rafe like a fist to the gut and he
leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees again.  He looked back at
the little girl sitting beside him on the bench.  “You and I’ve missed out
on a lot, not bein’ together before.  We have a lot of catchin’ up to do,
don’t we.”

Raale nodded.  “I bets
it’ll be fun, habing a dad.”

He leaned toward her and
bumped her little shoulder gently with his arm.  “I’m gonna make sure of
that.  Can you ride?”

“Ride what?” she asked, her
brows arching with interest.

“Horses.  Do you know
how to ride a horse?”

She shook her head
negatively.  “Mr. Bob said he’d teach me, but the horses I saw at that
barn was
huge
.  I…don’t think I…wants to ride one of dem.  Do
you habe little horses?”

Rafe chuckled again. 
“Nope, mine’s huge, too, but how about if I ride my horse and you ride with
me?  Could you do that?”

She nodded.  “I guess. 
‘Cause you know how to tell ‘em what to do.  I don’t and they might not
like habing a kid trying to boss them around.”

“I know we just met, Raale,
but I’d like to take you to meet Uci and your cousins, right now.  Would
you be afraid to go off with me if I promise to bring you back before
dark?”  He suddenly wanted Uci to meet his child more than anything.

“But Mom wouldn’t go ‘cause
you’re mad at her?” she reasoned.

He shrugged.  “You
wouldn’t like goin’ if she doesn’t go?”

Raale tightened her grip on
his hand.  “She maybe won’t let me go ‘less she goes, too.”

He nodded.  “You might
need to let me talk to her alone for a few minutes, but I’m sure she will, if
you want to go with me.”

She nodded a timid smile
spreading her small mouth.  “You’re my dad.  I’m not a’scared to go
with you.”

He stood up and keeping her
little hand, securely closed in his, they walked up the dock to where Jory sat
at the picnic table.

Mesa had watched the whole
time from the cabin, her heart racing like crazy, her mind swirling with fears
and guilt as Rafe sat and talked with her…their little girl.  She knew
Rafe was furious with her, but she knew him well enough to know that his heart
was already captivated by his child.  He had always loved children and he
was good with them, so she wasn’t worried about Raale.  But she had kept
his daughter from him for over five years and that would be hard for him to
forgive.  She understood his anger.

Then they were walking along
the dock, hand in hand, and her heart staggered at the sight.  She’d made
such a terrible mistake in not letting Rafe know that he was a father! 
She couldn’t change the past but, for maybe the first time, she wished she had
done things differently.  Raale turned Rafe’s hand loose and squatted down
to look at something in the grass that Jory was showing her as they reached the
picnic table where he sat waiting.

Rafe walked on toward the
back door alone.  His anger at Mesa was almost overpowering. 
Almost.  His excitement and need to be with his little girl helped him
rein it in until he could talk to Mesa without losing control.  For Raale,
he could do this.

Her stomach tightened into
knots as he opened the door and walked in.  It took him a full minute to
gather his thoughts, but when he looked at her, her heart sank.  The
coldness in his eyes made her feel like she’d been suddenly dunked in a barrel
of ice water.  He’d never forgive her for what she had done.  He must
hate her!

“I want to take Raale to meet
Uci.”  It was a simple enough statement to make and if she wanted to fight
about it, he was cocked and ready.

“I’m not sure she’s ready for
that.  The two of you have just met.  She might
be…uncomfortable.”  She really didn’t want to refuse him, but she had to
consider Raale first.

He swore softly.  “We
talked about it, Mesa.  I wouldn’t try to take her anywhere if I thought
she’d be afraid but if it’ll make you feel better, you can come, too.”

She looked around. 
“We’ve just arrived.  We haven’t even unpacked.”

He shrugged.  That
didn’t concern him.  Then he had an inspiration.  “You can work on
that while I have her with me.  You won’t need to worry about entertainin’
her.  I’ll do it.”

“Rafe, she’s…,” she started
hedging.

“She’s my child, Mesa!” he
growled.  “Don’t make me fight you for her because I’ve already lost the
first years of her life!  I won’t lose anymore.”  He glared at her,
his eyes smoldering with anger and challenge.

She sensed a warning in his
words.  “Is that a threat?”

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