Swell Foop (17 page)

Breanna sighed. "A trip to Mundania! That's all I needed, on my wedding day." But she knew it had to be done. "I'll have to get Mundane help. I don't even have a Mundane identity anymore."

"I suggest you gather some magic dust to take with you. The Rings of Xanth are self-powered and will work anywhere, but for any other magic you will need more. That may enable you to invoke a spell in an emergency."

"For sure! Thanks." She turned to Putre. "Let's go."

"I will tell the Day Stallion to send a mare with a dream of your coming," Trojan said.

That set her back. "A dream to whom?"

"The Baldwin family. They live near the portal."

"Oh—Sean and Willow," she said, remembering. "Yes, that makes sense. Thanks."

The zombie horse carried her rapidly out of the dream and on to Centaur Island, and to the portal there. He knew about it because the day mares used it for day dreams destined for Mundania; Mare Imbri had told him. That was as far as he could go; he would have no reality in Mundania. "Thanks," she said. "You've been a big help so far, and we'll need you later to find the Ring."

"I will be here," he agreed. "But first, you must fetch some magic dust."

"That's right! I had forgotten." She foraged, putting some dust in the change purse of her handbag, which she no longer used for change. She should have thought to get some of the really intense dust from the Region of Madness, as that had many times the potency of dirt here at the fringe of the peninsula. But it could be complicated getting out of the Region of Madness with one's sanity, no pun. This would have to do.

Then she passed through the portal and was in Mundania. She looked back, and saw that she had just stepped out of a picture hanging on a wall. That was interesting! But she didn't have time to admire the effects; she needed to get her mission done.

She was in a house, and it seemed to be empty at the moment. That was all right; she wasn't here for any social call. She made her way outside.

"Yo!" a young man called. He had green eyes and blond hair, and looked to be about seventeen.

"You know me?" she inquired cautiously.

"Never saw you before in my life, dusky maiden," he said cheerfully. "But if you're from Xanth, I'm here for you."

Still she hesitated, not trusting white-skinned Mundane teens. "Who are you and what do you want from me?"

"Fair enough. I'm David Baldwin. I was listening to music, just sort of drifting, and this notion came to me about a beautiful black sweetheart coming from Xanth to travel somewhere with me. After what my brother Sean found in Xanth, I just had to follow up."

"What did your brother find in Xanth?"

He shook his head. "I've told you more than enough to identify me. Now you tell me enough to identify you."

She considered, and concluded that this was fitting. Obviously he knew of Xanth, and had received an advisory daydream. "I am Breanna of the Black Wave, and your brother found Willow, the flying elf, and they fell in love. Now they visit Xanth and fly together. And that's not all. He has seen her—" She paused, waiting for his response.

"Panties!" he exclaimed. "Okay, honey, you're for real. Get in my car."

It had been a long time since she had been in a Mundane car, but memories were flooding back. Mundania did have its advantages, she had to admit.

David started the motor and drove out onto the highway that connected the chain of islands that was all that remained of Centaur Isle in Mundania. She saw the enormous sea on either side, and was duly impressed. "These are the—the Keys," she said, with another effort of memory. "Only they don't lock doors. And the portal is on No Name Key."

"Right. Many folk think it doesn't exist. But it does. When we crossed, it was right here, in a storm."

"A storm," she agreed. "Hurricane Happy Bottom."

"Only on this side it was Tropical Storm Glad Ass—I mean Gladys. It was weird at first; we looked out and saw a centaur. It took the parents some time to believe it, even with it right there before their eyes. But Mom took note when the first female centaur trotted up. I was twelve; I'd never seen architecture like that before. Not in living flesh, I mean."

Breanna was remembering the restrictive attitudes of Mundanes toward things like bare breasts. It was all coming back. Centaurs had no hang-ups about body parts or natural functions. "Nymphs and trotting centaur fillies—your mother would have had a fit."

"Yeah, she did. Didn't show it, though. But by the time we got home, she was getting used to Xanth." He glanced sidelong at her. "So are you going to show me yours?"

She understood him perfectly. But she needed his help, so she set him down politely. "I am betrothed, and soon to be married to the man I love. I am here purely on business."

He tried manfully to mask his disappointment. "So the part of the dream about traveling with me—it's like riding in my car. Nothing else."

"You got it, David. But if it's any consolation, my mission is extremely important, and you might consider it a privilege to be a part of it."

"What I'd like is a pass to Xanth, the kind that Sean got."

"I'll see what can be done."

"Thanks. So exactly what is this mission?"

"I don't know how much I should tell you. I guess it depends on how much you're going to help."

"And how shut I can keep my mouth? You know, we don't talk much about Xanth, outside of the house, because nobody'd believe us, and anyway we don't want to get Willow in trouble. But my little sister Karen sure would like to go there again, and so would I. Why don't you tell the parents, and then we'll see who helps you how much."

"Fair deal," she agreed.

In due course they left the highway and the sea, and proceeded through the complicated city of Miami. At last they came to the Baldwin home. David ushered her inside. "This is Breanna of Xanth," he announced. "She's here on business, and needs our help."

"You're in the Xanth Xone!" a girl of twelve exclaimed. She had red hair and blue eyes and seemed to be full of energy. That would be the little sister.

"Yes, I have a leaf in the Magic Mesh of the O-Xone," Breanna agreed. "It's sort of an interface with Mundania."

"I am Jim Baldwin," the man said. "This is my wife Mary, and our daughter Karen. Sean and Willow live separately, and you have already met David. How can we help you?"

Breanna told them enough of it so that they understood the importance of her mission. "So I have to go fetch Jaylin in Hawaii. I'm not sure how to do that. I was nine years old when I left Mundania, and I have no money or identification. But I have to get this done, because if gravity starts fading—"

"We understand completely," Jim said. "I think it will be best if David takes you there. He likes to travel, and it will be good experience."

"With such a nice young woman," Mary murmured. "From Xanth."

"Mom, she's got a fiancé," David said, pained. "She's not like Willow."

"She has no wings," Mary agreed.

Breanna usually had something to say on anything, but she was blank for the moment. This family wasn't aware of color? Maybe it was being studiously polite. But she had better make sure. "It's been half my life, but I have some pretty clear memories of Mundania. In my day a white boy did not travel much with a black girl. Has that changed?"

"Not enough," Jim said. "The identification may be the greater problem, however. But I think it can be managed, if the parties are circumspect."

"Like pretending I'm a foreign princess and he's my translator?"

They all laughed, but not with any force. "You willing?" David asked.

"Yes. Anything to get this job done efficiently and get home in a hurry."

"Then let me set you up," Mary said.

She took Breanna to her bedroom where she quickly adapted a black dress and jacket and cap to fit. "Your fiancé," she said as she worked. "Would we know of him?"

"I don't know. He was a tree when you were in Xanth." She explained about Justin Tree and their relationship.

"Why, that's charming," Mary said. Then she got down to serious business. "David and Karen long to return to Xanth, at least for a visit, but only Sean has a pass. Do you think, if your mission is successful—?"

"I know a woman called Chlorine. She has Nimby's ear. You know about Nimby?"

"We traveled with them both. He is a donkey-headed dragon—and rather more, we learned later."

"Much more. I think maybe they'd go for it. I'll ask."

Mary nodded. "Thank you. It would mean so much to them. It's the kind of thing money can't buy, literally."

"For sure. Speaking of money—"

"We will cover the air fare and incidental expenses. As you say, your mission is important."

"Yes, it is. You're being very nice to take it on faith."

"We did visit Xanth," Mary reminded her gently. "We became believers. David and his cat Midrange had a small additional part in the matter of Nimby's visit to Mundania two years ago."

"That's right!" Breanna agreed, remembering. "Still, maybe I can give you a little bit of evidence, so you know I'm not a fake."

Mary demurred, but as with the laugh, not with force. That meant she did have some doubt.

Breanna lifted the Ring of Fire. "Can I have a little demo, please?"

A bit of smoke curled up from the Ring. It formed into the head of a tiny demoness. "I thought you'd never levy," she said.

"Never what?" Breanna asked.

"Exact, claim, impose, require, beseech—"

"Ask?" Mary suggested.

"Whatever," the demoness agreed crossly.

"Metria!"

The demoness looked at her. "Have we met?"

"We met your alter ego Mentia five years ago. A most seductive creature. She told us of you."

"She would," Metria said darkly, but she was evidently satisfied. She turned to Breanna. "How are you doing?"

"I am becoming a Mundane princess so I can associate with a white boy without getting the vigilantes on my tail."

"I don't understand."

"That's because you're not Mundane. I just wanted to show Mrs. Baldwin that I'm really from Xanth."

Metria turned her gaze back to Mary. "She's really from Xanth. You have my demonly word."

"I believe it," Mary said.

"I'd rather have made some mischief, but Grossclout put me under strict orders. I'd better not use up any more toxic waste."

"Any more what?" Mary asked, startled.

"Magic dust," Breanna said quickly. "I have just about enough to make the Ring work, in case I need it."

"See that you do," Metria said. "I want to see more of Mundania."

Then Breanna remembered. "Actually, the Rings are self-powered. But you never can tell when some extra magic would help, away from Xanth. That reminds me: When you return to Xanth, ask Chlorine if David and Karen Baldwin of Mundania can have passes to Xanth. The family is really helping with the mission."

"Will do." The little head fuzzed, became an even smaller figure of a bare voluptuous woman, and faded out.

"She hasn't changed," Mary said. "Thank you for showing me."

"I didn't know Metria was the one on duty, or that you knew her. I just wanted a demonstration."

Mary laughed. "You said 'a little demo'! She must have taken that to mean a small demon."

Breanna knocked her forehead with the heel of her hand. "She would!"

"Well, I think you're ready, princess. Jim will have the e-tickets set up."

"The what?"

"A recent development. We no longer need physical tickets for airplanes."

"Just as well David's going with me," Breanna said ruefully. "I'm sure not up on the latest."

"We suspected that would be the case."

Breanna found herself liking this family.

Soon they took her to the airport. Sure enough, they were listed for passage. David showed his identification, and showed a blank card for Breanna. She invoked the Ring of Fire, and the demoness made it look like a valid ID. They were allowed to board the plane.

Except that they had to wait an hour in a gradually filling waiting room. Then came an announcement: The flight was delayed half an hour.

"Something wrong?" Breanna asked, alarmed.

"Routine," David reassured her. "These days they figure it's an error if a flight travels on time. I hope we don't miss our connecting flight."

"Connecting flight?"

"On such short notice, we had to take what we could get, the zigzag express. We'll change planes in New Orleans, Dallas, Phoenix, and Los Angeles. Some of those connections are pretty tight. We'll be lucky to make our schedule."

"Oh." Breanna wasn't pleased, but this was, after all, Mundania. She was remembering why she was glad to have left it. "Well, whatever. Just as long as we get there."

"We'll get there. I just can't say when."

But after half an hour, the plane was in, and they did board. Their seats were in the rear, and not together. "Maybe we can trade with someone," David said.

"It's okay. Don't get off without me."

He smiled. "I won't, Princess Bre."

That was right: She was a foreign princess, garbed in black. She took her seat, which was by a window. She liked that; she always liked to see where she was going. She buckled up. There was no leg room to speak of, and hardly any hip room; she was not a large person, in fact she was on the smallish side, but she would not have cared for a tighter fit.

A large man sat next to her. His thigh and elbow overlapped her space, and his extra bag overlapped her foot room. This was annoying, but she wasn't here to quarrel, so she bore with it.

The plane took off and forged up into the clouds. She was fascinated; this was like being carried aloft by a roc bird! It passed through a cloud with a faint swishing sound, and emerged above it. From here the clouds were huge vertical masses of mist, rather than the pretty muffins they appeared from the ground. Unlike Xanth clouds, they were not cupshaped, with the cups filled with water; there was a more complicated mechanism for rain.

She became aware of something. The hand of the man next to her was touching her thigh. Her voluminous dress covered it, but still his fingers were somewhat too familiar. She realized that she was stuck in this little seat, cut off from escape. She didn't want to make a bad scene, but neither did she want to be handled by a stranger.