Swell Foop (4 page)

"And the massed power of the Rings is required to handle the Foop," Sim squawked. "That must be an extremely potent device."

"It is no ordinary foop," the Simurgh agreed. "It is an almost perfect one. That makes a difference."

The other navy bean nodded. "Surely so."

"Then I think we must go to see the zombies," the chick pea said with imperfect enthusiasm.

"This is recommended," the sunflower agreed. "And I think this is a suitable mission for Sim to support."

"Saving a world?" Che asked.

"It is best for him to begin small."

A world was small, to the Simurgh, who knew the entire universe. If Sim could not save a world, he would hardly be fit to tackle the universe. Still, this seemed like a formidable enterprise. He firmed his beak; he would make his best effort.

Then the illusion faded, and they were back on the mountaintop.

Roxanne spread her wings and lifted into the air. She came to hover just above them, her talons descending. There was no downdraft; she could prevent it from happening when she chose, as part of the enhanced powers of flight she had been granted for her task of caring for Sim. She was a good nanny, and he felt closer to her on a personal basis than to the Simurgh. She had time for him. Which was of course the point: Roxanne did not have to run the universe.

They got into the enclosure, and the roc flew rapidly away from the beryl mountains of Qaf. In just a few wingbeats she was gliding down toward Castle Zombie. It was a decrepit structure, overgrown by sickly moss, with a moat filled with rotting goo. Sim was not particularly partial to this site, but he kept his beak shut, knowing that this visit was necessary.

Roxanne set them down on a high slimy ledge, then went to seek a more pleasant resting spot for herself. This was not selfish on her part; it was uncertain that the tottering castle could sustain her weight. She would return the moment Sim squawked. In fact, she would bash down a wall to reach him, if she had to. But she would not have to; the fact was that no one in the Land of Xanth would offer Sim any trouble. That did not make him feel great; it was just the way things were.

A rickety door squeaked open and a zombie emerged. "Whash?" it asked. A bit of its lip fell off as it spoke.

"We have come to see the proprietors," Che said.

"Thish whay." It turned and led the way into the castle.

Inside was a platform, with a zombie maid in attendance. "Take theze creaturez to Zombie Mashter," the zombie man said. Then, to the group: "Donth ashk her to tawk."

"She can't talk?" Cynthia asked.

"Muzzn't."

"Mustn't talk?" Che asked. But the guard had already gone back outside.

The maid nodded and turned toward the far exit.

Cynthia got a look on her face. Sim tried to caution her, but she brushed aside his squawk. "Let's introduce ourselves," she said to the maid. "I am Cynthia Centaur. You are?"

"Anna Gram," the maid said.

"That's interesting. I know a game with that name."

The zombie maid resumed progress toward the door, not responding. "I think she's not supposed to talk," Sim squawked.

"Nonsense," Cynthia said. "She spoke her name perfectly well. I do not accept the notion of servants being forbidden to speak. They are people too." She returned to address Anna. "This is your station? Where you work? This platform?"

"Sklatform," Anna agreed, slurring slightly in the zombie manner.

Then Cynthia turned about and walked stiff-legged back out the entrance.

Che and Sim stared after her. "She looked angry," Che said. "What brought that on?"

Anna bowed her head. "Zorry," she said.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not your fault," Che said. "Though I've never known her to be temperamental. This is quite unlike her."

Then a light flashed over Sim's beak. "Anagrams!" he squawked. "Her talent!"

Anna nodded abjectly.

"I don't understand," Che said, seeming quite displeased. He was supposed to be the one who always understood.

"Anagrams," Sim squawked. "Rearranging the letters of words or sentences to form other words. Her talent is to make that literal, only her zombie pronunciation messes it up. She tried to say 'platform' but slurred it. 'Sklatform.' That became 'stalk from.' She spoke to Cynthia, so it affected her."

"You're right!" Che agreed. "That's why she's not supposed to talk. There's no telling what will happen. Apparently her name is immune, and when she speaks briefly enough, there's no anagram to be made. Cynthia forced the issue, and paid a consequence."

"Zorry," Anna repeated.

"Not your fault," Che said. "We won't require you to talk anymore. I'll get Cynthia, and you can lead us silently downstairs."

In a moment Cynthia was back, and Che explained. "Sim figured it out."

"Bright bird," she agreed tightly.

They followed Anna down several sagging flights of steps. Sim was afraid that the stairs could not support the weight of the two centaurs, but they turned out to be stronger than they looked. Indeed, the castle was stronger than it looked, Sim remembered from lessons. Its seeming oldness was largely magical, and had been from the day it was constructed.

They were met on the ground floor by a comely old woman. "Why, hello, Che and Cynthia," she said warmly. "And Sim, the most beautiful bird in Xanth. But whatever brings you here?"

"We are glad to see you, Millie," Che said. "We have need of the Six Rings of Xanth. We understand that only the zombies know where they are."

Millie the Ghost, as she was still called though her ghostly days were long gone, paused. "This must be something Jonathan knows about."

"We hope so," Cynthia said.

"Let me fetch him. Come into my parlor." She brought them into the section of the castle that she maintained zombie-free. It was completely clean, and there was no smell of rot. It was a relief.

While she was away, they consulted. "Do you think he will know?" Cynthia asked. "If we never heard of the Rings or the Foop, maybe he hasn't, either."

"He must have," Che said, but he did not seem completely certain.

"The Good Magician would not have given Cynthia this mission if it wasn't possible to accomplish," Sim squawked.

"But he didn't want to give it to me."

Then Millie returned with the Zombie Master. "You are looking for the Rings of Xanth?" he asked. "Why?"

"The Good Magician says the Demon Earth needs to be rescued, and the Simurgh says we need the Swell Foop, and to find it we need the Six Rings, and only the zombies know where they are."

"This is true. Even I do not know, but there are zombies who do." He glanced at Sim. "This is an extremely ambitious project. Your mother supports this?"

"Yes," Sim squawked. "She wants me to start small. To practice for the big one later."

"Like saving the universe," the Zombie Master agreed. "This is a mere world or two."

"Yes."

"Nevertheless, I think you will need some help."

"Why?"

"Because this group consists of only three people. You will need six to handle the Rings."

"Six?" Cynthia asked. She had evidently forgotten their prior dialogue on this subject. That was because she had not been a centaur all her life.

"Each Ring requires the full attention of one person to use it. They must be used together to handle the Swell Foop. Therefore there must be six people to complete the mission."

"But I thought I was supposed to rescue the Demon Earth myself, once we get the Rings," Cynthia said, dismayed. "It's nice of Che and Sim to help me, but I couldn't ask anyone else to get involved. The Good Magician said it's dangerous."

"Fortunately I am not restrained by any such consideration," the Zombie Master said. "As it happens, Millie and I are about to retire, and Castle Zombie will be occupied by a new couple. They need to gain experience, and this should be excellent practice." He went to the door and called. "Justin! Breanna! This one's for you."

"Justin and Breanna!" Cynthia exclaimed. "Of course! She just turned eighteen, so they can marry."

"That may have to wait," the Zombie Master said. "The Demon Earth's magic is gravity, and Xanth needs that almost as much as Earth does."

"They might float away during the ceremony," Sim squawked, laughing.

"So might the rest of us," Che said, not finding it as funny.

Another person appeared at the door. Justin Tree was no longer a tree, but a completely ordinary man, so that it was not possible to notice such details as the color of his hair or eyes or the size of his nose. He looked about twenty-one, but had a courtly aspect. "A salutation to each of you," he said. "I believe we met at Jenny's wedding."

"I don't remember that," Cynthia said.

"I was with Breanna at the time."

"But she attended alone."

Che interceded. "He was
with
her—in her mind."

"Oh." Cynthia managed to blush. It was another remnant liability dating from her time as a human being. It was embarrassing, but Che claimed to like this aspect of her personality. So did Sim; it was amusing.

Breanna of the Black Wave appeared. She had lustrous waist-length black hair, glowing green eyes, and the rest of her was duskily appealing in the human manner. "What's this about delaying our wedding?" she demanded with moderately masked outrage. "It's taken me three years to nail Justin down, and now he's going to get a reprieve?"

That was of course a pose. Everyone knew that the last thing Justin wanted was a reprieve from Breanna.

"These folk must try to save the Demon Earth," the Zombie Master explained. "They need your help, and since it involves liaison zombies, it seems you two are elected."

"The Demon Earth! Why the bleep should we try to help
him
? He tried to trap the Demon Xanth in Mundania and ruin Xanth. He's no friend of ours."

"You underestimate the gravity of the situation," the Zombie Master said.

Cynthia tried to stifle a titter, and Sim clamped his beak shut to avoid a hilarious squawk.

"What's so funny?" Breanna demanded with barely subdued annoyance. She had been a pretty girl at innocent fifteen; now in her more mature irritation she was darkly beautiful.

"I believe he refers to the magic of the Demon Earth," Justin said. "This relates to gravity, which is vital to Earth, and convenient in Xanth."

"Without gravity, your skirt would fly up," Sim squawked, losing the battle of amusement. Human maidens were inordinately sensitive about such details. "Something might show." Why human women insisted on wearing skirts, or, for that matter, panties, was another minor mystery Sim had not yet fathomed.

She fired a dusky glare at him. "I knew that, Birdbrain!"

Che looked as if he were biting his human tongue, and even Millie averted her fair old face. They knew that Sim was not only the most beautiful but also the smartest bird in Xanth, after his mother. Breanna knew it too, but she was a respecter of little that wasn't black, as a matter of principle. It was a privilege to be mildly insulted by her.

"It seems that the Demon Earth has been abducted or imprisoned or somehow confined, and with him the force of gravity is hostage," the Zombie Master said. "He may not be our favorite Demon, but if it falls on us to restore him to his normal place, self-interest behooves us to do this. Cynthia Centaur has been assigned by the Good Magician to accomplish this mission."

"And I need a whole lot of help," Cynthia said.

"But Justin and I are about to get
married
," Breanna said. "At long lengthy last. He has escaped this fate too long already. Find someone else to help." She caught Justin's hand and squeezed it. He showed signs of melting.

It was clear that if his fiancee told him to jump through a flaming hoop or to chew on a stink horn, Justin would make his best effort. Breanna was completely in charge of his situation, and she knew it. It would require a monstrously compelling reason to make her postpone the nuptial.

"Che and Sim are helping," the Zombie Master said. "But they must locate the Swell Foop, which can be done only by the use of the Six Rings of Xanth, which in turn are hidden. Only the zombies know their locations. Therefore a liaison to the zombies is required. Millie and I are a bit old for such activity."

"And you're retiring," Breanna said, a small black cloud forming over her head. "So
we
have to do it." A tiny jag of lightning speared out in his direction. It didn't reach him, but it didn't fall short by much.

"I did think it would be good experience," he agreed, unperturbed. Evidently he had come to know Breanna well in the past year or so. "And, knowing your generous nature—"

The cloud exploded, drenching her glossy tresses with a bucket of rain. "That's not fair! You're using false flattery." Fortunately the water was soon steaming away from her hot head.

"Flattery, yes. False, no. When did you ever let a friend down?"

"All
right
! We'll help find the stupid Rings." She turned on Justin. "But that will be only a brief respite. As soon as they have their Rings, you're sunk."

"I was sunk the day I met you," Justin murmured fondly.

"For sure." Breanna spun to face Sim. "Your mother's in on this, right? I never heard of these Rings, let alone this swelled poof, and I'll bet hardly anybody else has, either, but she knows everything."

"Yes," Sim squawked.

"So how does a zombie know about a ring? Which zombie is it?"

Sim shrugged his wings.

She rolled her eyes, making miniature cataracts form. Fortunately their wild water faded almost as fast as it flowed, and did not interfere with her vision. "So we have to figure out which zombie. I should have known. Well, let's get on it. I want to get this done today so we can schedule the wedding for tomorrow. Come on." She whirled and led the way out of the castle.

"That's some human woman," Che murmured as they set out after her.

"I believe my zombies will be well represented after my retirement," the Zombie Master agreed. "Justin is a fine and knowledgeable man with good judgment, but some fire is also good, and she has that in excellent measure."