Swept Away (50 page)

The mention of his wife made Nathan feel thoroughly ashamed but he could make no promises. “If I live through this—”

“What do you mean ‘if’? You know Mother could not bear to live without you and I do so want you to be able to see your first grandchild.” Eden spoke in a light teasing tone, but she was badly frightened all the same. “I’ll bring you some herb tea with plenty of lemon and you’re going to drink the whole pot before you go back to sleep.”

“You shouldn’t be waiting on me, sweetheart.”

“Nonsense. Fetching a pot of tea won’t hurt me.” And yet by the end of the morning, Eden had lost count of how many times she had traversed the stairs. Arabella and Yadira had gotten into a lengthy debate on which herbs made the best tea to quell a fever and had never run out of advice on how it was to be dispensed, but there always seemed to be something she had forgotten downstairs that she had to search for herself. When she could no longer stay awake, she told Rebecca to call her should any man’s condition worsen and went to her room for a well-deserved rest.

While she had managed to put on a brave front for the others, once alone, Eden was overwhelmed by the enormity of the task she had undertaken. She had wanted to care for her father and his men, truly she had, but the responsibility was proving to be a far greater strain than she had ever imagined. She had planned to rely on her experience in tending wounded, but she had not once stopped to consider she had not been seven months pregnant when she had last done it.

Adding to her worries about her ability to provide adequate care was her disappointment over the brief kiss with which she and Raven had parted. He had been the one to supervise the transfer of the wounded to the house and he had also taken it upon himself to make certain the
Southern Knight
had plenty of provisions as well as coal. While he had not seemed to be deliberately avoiding her during the night, it certainly seemed that way now.

In the last few months she had thought they were getting along well, but in retrospect perhaps their accord had been an illusion they had created by studiously avoiding conflict. While she feared the obvious state of her pregnancy made her far from desirable, Raven had been no less affectionate, but he had yet to put his feelings into words. Not even the danger involved in the voyage he was about to undertake had prompted him to reveal the depth of his emotions before he had bid her a hurried farewell.

Then again, Eden agonized, perhaps Raven didn’t love her at all. Maybe it was vanity that made her see love in his glance when it might have been no more than desire, or need. He had certainly leapt at the chance to leave her and she knew Raven was not an impulsive man, but a coldly calculating one. She had had no opportunity to thank him for taking her father’s place, regardless of his motive, and that bothered her too for she did not want him to think her ungrateful. That he would be gone for a month at least, perhaps even longer, left her with a curious sense of emptiness she had not expected and feared would linger indefinitely.

“There was so much I should have told him,” she whispered as she wiped away a tear. Although Alex had died suddenly, there had been nothing left unsaid between them. She had buried him with a deep sense of loss, but she had not been burdened with the regret she now felt over the way she and Raven had parted. When he returned home, she was going to do a much better job of letting him know how much she appreciated all he had done for her. All she could do now, unfortunately, was pray that he returned safely so that she would have that opportunity

Too weary to dwell on their problems any longer, Eden fell into a troubled sleep, in which she dreamed Raven felt as lost and confused as she did.

During the first week Julian treated the injured Southerners, he cautioned Eden repeatedly about becoming overtired, but as the men slowly began to improve, she grew increasing pale and drawn. Finally he took her by the arm and escorted her to her room.

“I can’t allow you to endanger your health another minute, my lady. You are to get into your bed and stay there until I say you can get up.”

“But there’s too much to do,” Eden protested unconvincingly.

“Do you remember the night we met? I’ll never forget how desperate Raven looked when he came rushing into my room to ask me to do something to bring you out of hysterics. Perhaps the threat of giving birth prematurely doesn’t scare you as greatly as it does me, but I don’t want to have to face Raven with the news Alex’s child was born early and didn’t live.

“That there is a very good possibility that you’re already too weak to survive the ordeal of childbirth terrifies me even more. I think Raven would probably kill me if I lost the both of you. So, my lady, if you’ve no concern for yourself, the very least you can do is spare me and your precious infant early deaths.”

Considering Julian’s melodramatic appeal absurd, Eden nevertheless chose to humor the man and obediently climbed up on her bed. She placed a pillow at her back, and crossed her ankles to get comfortable. “There, I’m in bed.”

Julian read the defiant gleam in her golden eyes correctly. “You’ll not get up when I leave either because I’m going to tell your father, as well as Yadira and Rebecca, that you’re not to tend the men. Providing their care is simply too strenuous and you’re not to do so much as read to them let alone change bandages or lift them to help them eat and drink. Is that understood?”

Eden continued to regard the surly physician with a level stare. “I’ll not be treated as though I’m an invalid too.”

“Has your back been bothering you?”

Eden shrugged. “Isn’t that to be expected?”

“No it isn’t. If the ache becomes a steady throb, and then cramplike pains, it means you’re in labor. I should probably leave some chloroform here for you now just in case you deliver the child while I’m away. Yadira tells me she’s served as a midwife, and Rebecca has assisted me.”

Without realizing it, Julian had finally frightened Eden sufficiently to cause her to remain in bed because the prospect of having Yadira deliver her child was an extremely repugnant one. “I’m sure there will be time to call you.”

“And if I’m away on an emergency? No, it’s not too soon to begin preparing for the birth. I hope to be here, but if I’m not, Yadira and my sister will take good care of you.”

“Maybe Raven will be back by then,” Eden mused aloud.

“He expects the babe to be born around the first of May, not this week.”

“It won’t be born this week,” Eden insisted stubbornly, but she had known before Julian began to scold her that she had not been getting nearly enough rest. And her back did ache, almost constantly, but she had thought that was because she had been doing too much, not because the baby was in danger of being born early.

Julian considered Eden’s preoccupied frown a positive sign she had finally taken his warning seriously and reached out to pat her hand. “Amy and the other maids can take turns caring for the men. They were born free, and I’m certain none is worried they’ll end up slaves by caring for Confederate wounded when, by all reports, your side is losing the War.”

“You certainly have a way with words, Dr. Ryan.”

Not understanding the subtlety of her sarcasm, Julian blushed slightly as though that had been a compliment and left her room to finish seeing his other patients.

A man of his word, before Julian left the house the next morning he gave Yadira a bottle of chloroform. “I fully expect to be the one to deliver Eden’s babe, but as a precaution, I want you to have the means to ease her pain should that not be the case. You need give her only a few whiffs in the beginning. You don’t want to render her unconscious until the birth is imminent.”

“I understand.” Her interest in Eden’s comfort minimal, Yadira set the bottle aside. “She appears rather fragile. It is probably a good thing you put her to bed.”

“Oh yes, it certainly is. I would hate for Alex’s child to be lost.”

“Alex’s child?”

Julian realized his mistake instantly, but saw no harm in revealing the truth to Yadira. “Yes. Raven wants it kept a secret, but Alex was Eden’s first husband, and the babe is Alex’s, not Raven’s.”

The housekeeper accepted that chilling news with outward composure, but inwardly she felt as though her heart had just been ripped to jagged bits. “I had no idea,” she said calmly. “Eden always seemed so devoted to Raven.”

Julian regarded the dark-eyed beauty with a sly smile. “Well, I’m sure she is, but as you well know, things are not always what they seem.”

Yadira’s placid expression remained unchanged until Julian had departed, then she went to her room and gave vent to the furious rage his confidence had inspired. “The slut!” she snarled as she twisted her pillow until the fabric ripped and a flurry of goose down billowed around her. That in one summer Eden had gone from being Alex’s wife to Raven’s, apparently without a moment’s pause to mourn her first husband’s passing, was the most hideous crime she could imagine. Obviously the girl had married Alex for his money, undoubtedly hastened his death with her ardor, and then wed his heir to secure her position as Lady Clairbourne.

“The bitch should have been buried with Alex!” She remembered the chloroform then, and hurriedly went to fetch it. Julian feared a premature birth, and Yadira was certain if that occurred, and Eden failed to survive, no one would suspect her of murder. She began to scheme with a triumphant smile, thinking it could all be arranged so easily On Julian’s next visit, she would ask him for powders to help her rest, and she was certain he would give her enough to put his mousey sister and the ailing men to sleep.

There were several possibilities then, but wanting the joy of raising Alex’s babe herself, she decided upon the one that would ensure the dear child’s safety while at the same time allowing her to put a quick end to his mother. It was too risky a plan to implement as yet, however. The baby would be stronger at eight months than seven and she was doing this for him.

A wicked smile graced her lips as she climbed the back stairs and walked toward Eden’s room. She had been too stunned by Alex’s death to welcome the girl to his home properly, but now, she was determined they would become the best of friends. Yes, Eden was going to trust her with her life, and that would be the frail blonde’s last mistake.

In his first days at sea, Raven poured all of his energy into familiarizing himself with the
Southern Knight
so he could command her with the same confidence he had shown on board the
Jamaican Wind.
He found that chief engineer Douglas Owen, a man in his late thirties, knew how to coax the maximum performance from the ship’s two engines. Confident they had the speed to outrun the larger, heavier Union warships, and keeping out of the range of the swifter blockaders, Raven set a course for the east coast of America, where their presence would be most likely to discourage whatever shipping continued under the United States’ flag. Nathan had told him that at the end of the month they were to rendezvous with another Confederate ship off the coast of Norfolk to receive new orders, and he wanted to make certain they had accomplished all they could by then. Despite his preoccupation with his task, Raven never once forgot the forlorn expression Eden had worn when he had kissed her goodbye. While he had not walked out on her in the midst of a fight as he had so often in the past, he could not shake the uncomfortable sensation that somehow he was guilty of deserting her. He could not have refused to take her father’s place and kept her respect, and indeed, he had not even considered that option when he had learned how serious Nathan’s injury was. He had wanted to help, and he knew Eden must have wanted him to make exactly the choice he had, but he could not believe how stupid he had been to have mentioned Alex as the reason why. He had let his jealousy over the love he knew Eden still felt for her first husband erupt into a spiteful comment that had hurt her. That he had left without apologizing for his thoughtlessness had only compounded the error.

As Raven lay in his bunk each night, missing Eden terribly, he reminisced about each minute they had spent together. Gradually he began to understand how complex their problems truly were. Eden’s devotion to Alex was only one aspect of them. There was also the sorry fact that he had never revealed the truth about himself. He had made the mistake of waiting, and not at all patiently, for Eden to fall in love with him, when everything she believed about his background was a lie.

He knew then that he could no longer wait indefinitely for her to fall in love with him and then confess the truth. She would only feel betrayed then. No, he would have to tell her the truth as soon as he returned home. All he could do was hope that someday she could love him in spite of the fact that he and Alex had not really been kin, rather than despise him for keeping that secret so long.

Michael Devane had had to swallow most of his pride to ask Raven to command the
Southern Knight,
but when he saw how hard the young earl worked at being the ship’s captain, his resentment gradually became grudging respect. Within a week Raven could not only call each member of the crew by name, but knew which were the most dependable, and which the slackers, and he tempered his comments accordingly.

When Raven had come on board, the crew had been discouraged not only by their close call in Havana, but also by the relentlessly depressing news they had received of the South’s losses. Raven made no reference to the conflict between the North and South, however. He stressed only the professionalism he expected his crew to display, and following his example, they all began to regain their badly damaged pride.