Swinging Saved Our Marriage (3 page)

Fear seized her heart when Bill rolled her onto her back. He was on top of her and she could feel his cock leaving a sticky trail as the hot head dragged across her thigh. She was still slowly playing with it as he positioned himself so she could put it inside her. Kyra was so close to orgasm when he took his fingers from her. She knew he wanted to be inside her, but she wouldn’t do it. She couldn’t do it. When it came to going all the way and fully violating her marriage vows, she just could not do it.

“Bill, wait.”

“What’s wrong, hon? You’re so ready. I can feel it.” As if to make his point, he slid his fingers back inside her, harder this time, and her entire body stirred. He wasn’t wrong. She did want it.

“Bill, I’m sorry, I can’t. I just can’t.” But her protest came out as a moan and she gripped his cock harder. God, he was bringing her right back to the edge of orgasm again, but this time he was not stopping. He kept fingering her, hard and fast, and she was helpless to resist.

“Oh yes!” She cried, arching her back and going rigid, like she’d grabbed a live wire. That intense current ran through her, from her pussy straight up to her brain, spreading out through her whole body, and Kyra’s brain exploded. It was a release she needed so badly. Masturbation just was not the same. Her mind was so clouded with pleasure that she did not notice Bill had stopping fingering her and taken her hand from his shaft. It was only when she felt the head against her that she came to her senses. She pushed on his chest. To his credit, he did not try to force the issue, but rolled away.

Bill lay on his back with his hard-on curved up along his stomach and he looked miserable. As good as she’d felt a few seconds ago, Kyra now felt like she was going to cry. She was full of guilt for cheating on her husband and for leading Bill so far down this path.

“I’m sorry, Bill. I just can’t. I thought I could, but I can’t take things that far. I’m sorry. I never meant to lead you on.”

“I guess I understand,” he stammered. He was staring at his cock like he didn’t know what to do with it. He was still as hard as ever. Being so close to Kyra, with her chest heaving and the scent of her sex hanging in the air, probably did not help. He had made her feel so good that she couldn’t just leave him like that.

Kyra touched herself. She was soaked, and so was the duvet beneath them. It was easy to slick her fingers. She saw Bill watching her touch her pussy, so she made a little show of it, taking her time. It did feel so very good. She was still tender down there and it would be so easy to bring herself off again. She touched her clit and moaned loudly, and not for his benefit. She’d always fantasized about putting on a little show for Ethan, but had never done it. She didn’t want her husband to think she was a tramp. But in the hotel room, with Bill, it was different. She didn’t have to worry about what he thought. After all, she was already naked in a hotel room with him. Her plan changed and she wetted her other hand with her pussy too. For a few moments she held herself open and slowly fingered herself, pushing fingers deep into her velvety cunt. She was moving her hips and kept her eyes on Bill the entire time. He looked like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Bill reached for his cock, but she pushed his hand away. Instead, Kyra wrapped her slick fingers around his shaft and jerked him off, moving her hand up and down him while she rubbed her own pussy. She felt so very dirty, and it felt so very good. It was so far over the edge for her. Their eyes were locked together and he reached out, kneading her breast and pinching her nipple. That was all she needed, and Kyra exploded again, her second climax just as shattering as her first. Her back arched off the bed and she cried out, not caring how loud she was.

“Ah fuck, Kyra,” Bill gasped. His cum jetted into the air and coated her hand. She kept jerking his cock until he went soft, then rolled over and faced away from him while her tremors subsided.

Kyra grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom. She scrubbed at her hands and saw Bill’s thick cum coating her wedding ring. The reality hit her. Maybe she hadn’t let him fuck her, but she’d still cheated on Ethan. The tears came first, then body-racking sobs. She hoped the running water hid the sounds. Kyra cried and scrubbed her hands almost raw.
You horrible slut
, she told herself.
It doesn’t matter how it felt!  It was wrong and you know it!
  It was so strange to be crying so hard while still feeling the afterglow of her orgasms. She felt like she was losing her mind. That hackneyed phrase came to mind: how could something that feels so good be so wrong? Kyra tried rationalizing that this was partially Ethan’s fault for neglecting her. She even tried to convince herself that he was ignoring her in bed because he was having an affair of his own, but she didn’t really believe it.

After she pulled herself together, she came out of the bathroom to find Bill dressed and ready to leave. He couldn’t look her in the eye. Even though it was petty, she hoped he felt as guilty as she did. “This can never happen again, Bill. You know that, right?”

“I know. I know it was wrong, but I can’t tell you I regret it. I just can’t Kyra.” He crossed the room and kissed her. It was almost sweet. She knew it would be their last one. He was right. Even though it was wrong, Kyra couldn’t make herself regret it, not entirely.

That had been a week ago and she’d been filled with guilt ever since. Every time Ethan looked at her, she felt certain that he knew. She almost told him a dozen times, but she was afraid Ethan would leave her. It went on that way until she just couldn’t take the guilt any longer. It was a physical knot in the pit of her stomach, like a heavy rock just sitting there, and she knew it was going to pull her under if she didn’t get rid of it.

Kyra parked the minivan in the driveway and found Ethan in the kitchen with the girls. Watching him give their daughters their dinner filled her heart with love. She just stood in the doorway and watched them until Ethan noticed she was home.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” he said. “I hope you girls didn’t have too much fun.” There was a time when he would have crossed the kitchen and kissed her. He did not. Would they ever get back there? When did they lose that tenderness? “Have you eaten?”

“No, we just had drinks. I’m not hungry, though.” She did not think she could eat.

“Are you sure? There are some extra fish sticks.”

“Hi, Mommy!” Callie called, waving fingers sticky with catsup. She was the big sister, almost five. Up until recently she would not eat anything but chicken fingers, but they finally convinced her to eat fish sticks because they looked enough like the nuggets. Kyra came around and kissed both Callie and her little sister, Caren, who was three. Caren was eating fish sticks because she always had to do exactly what her sister did. Kyra was glad that her girls were like peas in a pod. She’d always had a contentious relationship with her own sister and did not want to repeat that with her own children. She also kissed Ethan on the cheek.

“Are you okay, honey? You seem strange,” he said.

“It’s just been a long week. I’m glad to be home.”

Callie started chanting, “Mommy’s strange!  Mommy’s strange!” Caren joined in. They kept it going, giggling in between and it echoed around their large, open kitchen. This was their dream house and the kitchen had been built exactly how Kyra wanted it. The perfect home was just one more way her life seemed perfect on the outside.

Ethan wasn’t buying it. Even with the distance that had come between them, he could tell when something was bothering his wife. She’d always been an open book to him. Something major had been on her mind all week, but he wasn’t ready to drag it out of her yet. He was afraid that if he pushed, it would just lead to a fight and he did not have the energy for that. They rarely fought, but when they did it was terrible. He realized that sometimes he just avoided her because he did not know what to say.

It was strange what their marriage had turned into. It wasn’t like they fought all the time or disliked each other or did not like to spend time together. Ethan still thought his wife was very funny, just like when they met, and he loved spending time with her, but it was more like they were friends, or roommates. Kyra was a great mother and he still loved her, but the passion seemed to be gone. Sure, they still occasionally made love, but it was always the same thing.

It was usually a Friday or Saturday night after the kids were in bed and they were turning in for the night. At some point, Kyra had stopped wearing cute little negligees to bed and now slept in a baggy t-shirt and loose shorts. They would be cuddling, talking about what had gone on during the week and her proximity would make his cock stir. They would start kissing and she would turn out the bedside light and pull the t-shirt over her head. He knew that she was self-conscious about her body since the kids, but he still found her sexy. She still had those great breasts and he actually though her butt looked better with a little more meat on it. He liked seeing her body, but she always turned the light out and she never dressed to show it off anymore. He didn’t expect her to run around dressed like a hooker, but it would have been nice to see her curves now and then.

And besides, it wasn’t like Ethan was still the trim young man she’d married all those years ago. Ethan’s six-foot frame was still in generally good shape, but the weekly basketball games were long gone, and his waist had expanded to show it. His brown hair was still all there, thank God, but there was a bit of gray in his goatee to show he was in his late thirties. But the only time his wife ever showed off her chest anymore was when she occasionally wore a tight top to work. The dowdy clothes made it hard to think of Kyra as his sexy wife, not just the mother of his children.

On sex nights, once they were both naked—as expediently as possible—she would play with his cock for a couple minutes while he touched her, then he would roll on top and they would do it. He couldn’t remember the last time they did anything other than the missionary position. It still felt great and he came inside her, even though he suspected she was faking at least some of the time. And that was it.

Ethan missed the hot, fiery sex they used to have. It wasn’t like he wasn’t still horny. He knew Kyra was too. He knew about the vibrator at the back of her sweater drawer. He’d heard her using it one night when she thought he was still downstairs watching television. Knowing she was doing that turned him hard instantly, and he wanted to go into the bedroom, but he thought if she wanted him to know about her toy, she would have told him. That was the basic problem. There was too much unsaid. There were certain things he could never tell his wife, that was for sure.

After the kids were bathed, read to and put to bed, Ethan thought they would sit down to watch a DVD they’d rented, but Kyra told him she wanted to go upstairs and take a bath and read for a bit. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her what was wrong, but he just let her go upstairs and flipped around the dial. He did not realize how late it had gotten until the eleven o’clock news came on. He shut off the television and head up to bed, wondering if tonight would be one where he got lucky, or if Kyra would already be in bed. She didn’t seem like she was in the mood.

Ethan was surprised to find his wife still awake. She was sitting on the bed in a green v-neck t-shirt and matching terrycloth shorts. Her knees were tucked up against her chest and she looked nervous.
Okay
, he thought.
Maybe she’s ready to talk
. He pretended not to notice her state and walked around to his side of the bed. He pulled off his shirt, kicked off his sweatpants and joined her on the bed. She sat silently beside him until he felt like they might stay that way all night if he didn’t say something.

“Is everything all right?”

“Ethan, we need to talk,” she said quietly. His stomach flip flopped.
We need to talk
are the four words no man wants to hear.

“Okay. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s nothing we can’t deal with together.”

Kyra looked into his understanding eyes and did not know how she was going to get through this. There was no way she was not going to hurt him, but she had to tell him what she’d done. God, she didn’t even know where to begin.

"Before I say anything else I want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you and this didn't have anything to do with that," Kyra started. She hoped he would just let her get it all out.

"That doesn't sound good."

"Just let me tell it all before I lose my nerve. I don't think you'll be shocked if I say things have not been exactly right between us for a long time. I don't think our marriage is coming apart, but I just don't think we're coming together anymore. Sometimes it just doesn't feel like we're really a couple anymore. We're just not connecting on an intimate level."