Sworn to Protect (5 page)

That simple statement struck him hard. What she did was so damned important. How could he have failed to really
see
her before? To appreciate her not only as a woman, but as a friend and colleague who was making a difference?

He was humbled at his shortsightedness—and shamed.

They finished their meal and Daisy rose. “I’ll clear the dishes. Why don’t you go check on Drew?”

“Okay. And thank you.”

She waved him off, and he went in search of his godson. The boy wasn’t in the living room, so he made his way to Drew’s room. Pushing open the door slowly, he saw the boy’s figure curled on the bed on his side. His body was relaxed, breathing deep and even. As Shane moved closer, he saw Drew really was asleep. Probably the best thing for him right now.

Drawn forward, Shane knelt by the bed. Reached out and touched the boy’s hair. Stroked gently, his heart broken for Drew. And for himself. He’d never imagined anything happening to Brad. Had never seriously entertained having children. But both had come to pass.

In the blink of an eye, Shane was parent to a grieving sixteen-year-old boy he had no idea how to raise.

Or how to protect.

Daisy hovered in the doorway to Drew’s room, breath caught in her throat.

Shane was on his knees beside the bed, stroking the boy’s hair. His expression was grief stricken, but there was such love, too. This wasn’t a man fulfilling an obligation. This was a man who truly loved the people he allowed into his life, a man who would do anything for them.

And she longed to be one of those people.

How selfish can I be?
It wasn’t Shane’s fault she’d enjoyed a couple of rolls in the sack and had gotten her heart broken when she expected more. She blamed herself. He’d made it clear she wasn’t going to be someone he wanted to keep, and she had no business hanging around here longer than necessary.

Quietly, she backed away and returned to the living room to wait for him. Over and over, her mind replayed what she’d just witnessed and the fact that Shane wasn’t the cavalier, happy-go-lucky slut he pretended to be. He was so much more.

He came back into the room just then, looking worn-out. “He’s resting.”

“He’ll need a lot of that to get through the next few weeks.” She paused. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“No,” he said, moving to stand right in front of her. “But thank you for being here.”

The clear dismissal had her throat tightening in disappointment. She shoved it down and mustered a small smile. “Well, if you need me, don’t hesitate to call.”

“All right.”

He wouldn’t, she knew. She squeezed his hand, then turned to leave. But she was brought up short when he didn’t let go. Instead he pulled her back, slid an arm around her waist. Surprised, she met his gray gaze. He was staring at her like she was the last drink of water in the desert, and her heart hammered in her chest.

He was going to kiss her. He hesitated once, in silent question, and receiving no protest, lowered his mouth to hers. Every cell in her body ignited in flames, scorching her from head to toe. And everywhere in between.

No man had ever kissed her the way Shane did—with his entire being. Rational thought fled, swept to sea in a tide of desire. And just as quickly it was over. Her former lover pulled back, studying her as though he wanted to say something else.

Ask me for that beer again. This time I won’t say no.

But he didn’t. “Good night, sugar.”

“Night.”

She turned and headed down the porch steps, and the door closed with a soft
snick
behind her.
I’m my own worst enemy sometimes. Why do I let him tie me in knots?

She’d been hung up on him for so long and finally she’d gotten him. But not forever. No more. Best to let him fade away and rest with all the other pipe dreams.

Like falling for a man who actually understood and appreciated her job. Getting along with her dad. Not feeling so alone. Not watching life pass her by. Having children of her own.

Right.
With a sigh, she started the car and pulled out of the drive. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she could’ve sworn she saw the curtain flick closed.

But it was probably her imagination.

•   •   •

The day after Brad’s death dawned obscenely bright. After switching on the coffeepot, Shane stood staring out the window overlooking the back of his property and the river. A couple of fishermen were trolling the bank in a boat, hoping for an early-morning catch. Birds were singing. A typical lazy Saturday.

For some, anyway. It didn’t seem possible that the world could simply go on when lives were shattered. But it did, and he couldn’t think what to do next. Not without coffee to revive his exhausted brain.

Drew had woken up screaming, covered in sweat, twice last night. The second time, Shane had broken down and given the boy a mild over-the-counter sleep aid to help him rest. It worked, but sleep was lost on Shane by then and, wanting to be alert in case Drew needed him, he didn’t dare take the same medication. He’d been up since four, prowling back and forth to the kid’s room to make sure he was all right. How did parents do this?

Suddenly it hit him that this was forever. Socked him hard in the gut and filled him with fear. This wasn’t just a visit, and Brad would never come to fetch his son. Drew was
his
responsibility now, just as Brad had wanted if anything ever happened. Shane and Drew had always been close, but the rules were going to change along with their relationship. It was inevitable.

The crunch of tires outside snagged his attention. Walking to the front window, he half-expected to see Daisy returning, demanding to help in some way. Instead he was greeted by the sight of Tommy pulling up in his truck, Shane’s twin sister riding shotgun. In his shock last night, Shane hadn’t even thought to call them, so they’d probably rushed over as soon as they heard the news this morning.

Not wanting the doorbell or a knock to awaken Drew, he went out on the porch to meet them. Shea practically flew out of the truck and up the steps, launching herself into his outstretched arms. He caught her and held her close, burying his nose in her curly brown hair, and inhaled the familiar, comforting scent of his twin.

“Oh, my God, Shane,” she breathed. “We just heard when we turned on the television this morning. Why didn’t you call us?”

“It was an awful scene, sis. I wasn’t thinking.” He hugged her tighter, grateful for her presence. “I would have this morning after I got my head on straight.”

Releasing her, he turned and offered his hand to his tall, blond brother-in-law, who promptly ignored the gesture and pulled him in for a bear hug. Jesus, he was so damned grateful for his family. His eyes stung as he stepped back and jerked a thumb toward the house.

“Ya’ll want some coffee? I sure could use some.”

That suggestion met with approval, and the couple followed him inside, waiting until they had mugs of fragrant brew and were seated in the living room before beginning the interrogation.

“What happened?” Shea asked. “The news is saying some pretty wild crap about drugs.” Her hubby was nestled close beside her on the sofa, every bit as intent on the answer.

Shane shifted in his chair, impotent anger clawing at his gut. “Yeah, well, it might not be mere speculation. The detective at the scene told me it looks like an overdose. They didn’t let me see what evidence they had, but they’ve got something solid, or he wouldn’t have said that much to me.”

“Drugs?” Tommy frowned. “I met him only a couple of times, when he was here visiting you, but he didn’t strike me as the type to dabble in shit like that.”

“He wasn’t,” Shane said. The idea made him sick with grief, frustration. “I can’t understand it. He never confided in me about a habit.”

“Maybe it was a new thing,” Tommy offered. “Obviously he wouldn’t have been proud of it, so he wouldn’t have wanted you or anyone else to know.”

The three of them chewed on that for a minute, sipping their coffee. Shane didn’t get any enjoyment from his brew this morning, but he could almost feel the much-needed caffeine flooding his veins.

“The detective is going to give me a courtesy call when they get the ME’s report,” he told them. Then his voice cracked. “I can’t fucking believe I’m discussing Brad and an autopsy in the same sentence.”

In an instant, his sister was perched on the arm of his chair, hugging him tight. “We’re here for you both. Anything you need.”

“I know,” he rasped. “Thank you.”

“What about the funeral arrangements?” Tommy ventured gently. “Need any help with those?”

Shane shook his head with a sad laugh. “Brad was organized to the point of being anal. I teased him about it constantly. His lawyer has all the instructions, and all I have to do is make a few calls.”

A few calls. A few days, and it would all be over. Except it wouldn’t—not really.

“How’s Drew?” This from Shea, who gave him one more hug and moved back to her seat.

“In shock.” He took a sip of coffee. “Time will tell how he’ll adjust. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and I don’t know how Brad raised a boy on his own.”

“That’s simple—he didn’t.” Tommy snorted. “He had you and half a dozen other people to bail him out whenever he needed.”

Shane winced. “That’s true.”

“And you’ll have us, plus all your friends,” Shea said. “You’ll both be fine. At least he’s a teenager instead of a little one in diapers.”

“I’m not sure that’s going to make things any easier in the long run.” In fact, he knew it wouldn’t. “This is going to be damned hard. His dad was—is—his hero. Larger than life, famous. I’m just a cop, a regular guy Drew enjoyed spending weekends with. And that will change fast enough when I have to lay down the law for the first time.”

His sister didn’t agree. “I think you’re selling yourself short. That boy loves you, and you’ll both be fine eventually.”

Shane glanced at his brother-in-law, but noted the man wasn’t quite as quick to gloss things with a rosy paintbrush as Shea. Tommy had been through issues with his own parents, and working through them to become a family again hadn’t been easy. Hell, they were
still
working on their relationship, though it was much improved. The man in front of him had grown up a lot in the last year.

“You’re right. It won’t be easy,” Tommy said seriously. “It’ll get tough before it gets better, and when it does, we’re here. That’s what family is for.”

“Thanks, you guys.”

“Do you think you’ll have any trouble out of James and Rhonda over custody?”

James and Rhonda Cooper were Brad’s parents—Drew’s grandparents. The couple had been good friends of Shane and Shea’s parents, once upon a time. Before the huge falling-out between the two couples and the accident that had followed, taking Darryl and Linda Ford way too soon.

In spite of the Coopers’ betrayal and the horror of the aftermath, Shane and Brad’s friendship had not only survived, it had also deepened over the years. Brad had been horrified by the corrupt layers that had been revealed in his parents.

“No,” he said coldly. “Not unless they want the entire country to know that they attempted to embezzle hundreds of thousands from Dad’s company, not to mention being indirectly responsible for the accident. They’re on a short leash, and that’s where they’ll stay.”

They’d never met Drew, and that wasn’t going to change as long as Shane was alive. He knew from Brad that should the couple survive their son, they weren’t even invited to the reading of the will—they’d get not one red cent of his money.

A shuffle behind them caught his attention and he turned to see Drew standing awkwardly just inside the room. His dark hair was damp from the shower, and he’d dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. His eyes were bloodshot, his face pale.

Shea was up and across the room in seconds, wrapping the boy in her arms. Tommy got up and followed her. Shane noted that Drew was taller at sixteen than petite Shea. Not a boy for much longer, he was again reminded.

“I’m not going to ask a stupid question like how you are,” Shea said, earning her a sad, watery laugh from Drew.

“I keep thinking it’s not real. Right?”

“I know, sweetie. But we’re all here for you, and we’re not going anywhere.”

“That’s what Dad always said, and he’s gone.” They exchanged looks of concern before Drew pulled away. “Can I have some of that coffee?”

“Sure,” Shane told him. “Help yourself.”

He shuffled off, and once he was out of earshot, Shea scowled. “You let him drink coffee?”

“He’s almost seventeen, sis,” he said in defense. “Jesus, it’s not like I’m letting him shoot bourbon. Anyway, give the kid a break, huh?”

“Sure.” She blew out a breath, then lowered her voice as she glanced toward the kitchen. “It’s just that I was thinking there’s gonna be a lot of freedoms you gave him before, as a friend, that he might not have anymore. You can’t spoil him constantly.”

“That’s the point I was trying to make before,” he said evenly. “Don’t you think I’m aware of how hard it’ll be to walk the line between being a parent and a friend?”

“Maybe the word you’re looking for is
mentor
,” Tommy suggested. “A mentor can be both.”

“I can hear you guys whispering,” Drew said, walking back into the room. “I’m not deaf.”

Shane gave him a pained look. “We’re just worried about you, kiddo. Did you end up getting any sleep?”

The boy shrugged. “Some, I guess.” His drawn, tired face belied his claim.

“Where’s your coffee?” Shane asked.

“Didn’t sound good after all.”

“Are you hungry? I was about to ask Shea and Tommy if they’d stay for breakfast and—”

“I don’t want anything,” Drew said shortly. “Think I’m gonna crash again.”

Helplessly, Shane watched him go, heart sinking to his feet. Finally, he turned to his sister and Tommy. “So, how about that breakfast?”

Tommy clapped him on the shoulder. “Sure. And if the scent of bacon won’t lure him out of his cave, nothing will.”

It didn’t. As they ate their somber meal, talking quietly, Shane wondered whether he was making a mistake allowing Drew to hide, if he should have pushed harder.

Inevitably, his thoughts drifted to Daisy and their soul-melting kiss last night. Seemed like he was doomed to fuck up quite a bit before he got anything right.