Sydney Harbour Hospital: Tom's Redemption (12 page)

The fact he’d achieved the pinnacles of surgical success and had now lost it all didn’t seem enough of a reason to change his habits. Financially he was secure and the threat of poverty was long gone but, hell, he was still learning how to be blind. He didn’t need any distractions from conquering the dark and living an independent and meaningful life.

‘Hey, Tom, as well as being totally hot, she’s an awesome teacher.’

Jared’s enthusiasm for Hayley rang out loud and clear and Tom’s jaw instinctively tightened. ‘I’d appreciate it if you referred to her in terms of a surgeon and a teacher.’

‘Sorry. I’m not gonna steal her from you, dude. I’d never do that.’

The apology in the young man’s voice was unmistakeable and Tom regretted being short with him. He still wasn’t totally certain why he had been. Yes, this morning had been amazing, but now it was over.

‘Besides,’ Jared continued, ‘she’s a bit old for me, but she’s perfect for a bloke like you who’s nearly forty.’ He made the number sound ancient.

Tom gave a strangled laugh. ‘I’m thirty-nine, thank you, and if you keep on about it I’ll buy Chinese instead of pizza.’

‘You’re the same age as my dad.’ The teasing had vanished from Jared’s voice, leaving only regret.

Tom flinched. He hadn’t meant to remind the boy of his absent father or of his tough home life. He turned toward the sound of his voice and smiled. ‘I’m thinking two large La Dolce Vita specials with the lot.’

‘And a garlic pizza. Order them now and make sure they throw in the gelato because last time you let them
rip you off and you don’t want me saying you’re getting old and soft.’

Tom’s mouth tweaked up into a smile. ‘Just drive the damn car, Jared.’

CHAPTER SEVEN

A
S THE
tinny beat-bop music filled the operating theatre, Hayley looked up from the screen, which showed the magnified image of Mrs Papadopoulos’s stone-filled gallbladder and she asked, ‘Is that my phone?’

The moment the four little words were airborne, she wanted to pull the words back. She’d forgotten that Jenny wasn’t scouting for this operation.

‘I’ll check,’ said Suzy.

Dread crawled along her skin. Why did it have to be Suzy? For the first time in days Hayley willed that the phone call
not
be from Tom.

It was close to the end of a long shift—twelve midnight to twelve noon—the result of a crazy idea from someone in Administration who thought it might help diminish the surgical waiting list. It meant the team had a foot in both the night shift with its emergencies and the elective routine of the day shift morning.

‘Answer it quickly, Suzy.’ Theo rolled his eyes as if the sound was burning his ears. ‘Hayley, of all the ringtones that state-of-the-art phone of yours has, why did you choose that one? You have to change it.’

‘ I can’t.’ She dropped her gaze back to the screen as she manoeuvred everything into position in preparation to sever the gallbladder from its anchoring stump. ‘I accidentally
washed my lovely phone and now it’s tucked up in rice in a vague hope it might work again. Meanwhile, I’ve bought a temporary cheap phone and it only comes with one ringtone and one volume.’

‘My ears are aching already.’ With a gloved hand Theo held out a kidney dish.

Hayley dropped the badly scarred gallbladder onto the silver monometal and tried not to glance around at Suzy and ask who was calling. It had been five days since she’d seen Tom. Five days since she’d experienced the best sex of her life and then slept the most deeply she could ever remember, but since she’d left his apartment there’d been no messages, no texts, no emails, nothing. Just one long and empty silence that dragged through each day, seemingly extending it way beyond its twenty-fours.

Get over it. He never said he’d call. You never expected him to call
.

Logically, she knew that they’d only acted on their simmering attraction and had come together to defuse the stress after a huge operation—that meant it had been a one-off fling. This sort of thing happened between staff occasionally, especially after a life-and-death situation. It was a type of coping mechanism—a way to share the crisis with the only other person who really understood exactly what had happened and the ramifications of how close it had come to going horribly wrong.

At least I had him
.

She bit her lip as she realised with a hollow feeling that she now had something in common with Suzy. She’d used Tom and she’d let him use her. Not that she wanted to keep Tom as hers, or at least she didn’t think she did, but she hated that she’d allowed herself to become a phone vulture. Twenty-four hours after leaving Tom’s penthouse, she’d started circling her phone, constantly waiting for it
to either ring or beep with a message, and when either of those two things happened, diving for it and hoping it was Tom. Now she’d even allowed her guard to fall and had asked out loud in front of her gossipy staff.

It’s time to get a grip
.

Her reaction to the whole Tom situation was totally new to her and, if she was honest, scared her just a little bit. She’d certainly never been this jumpy or spent this much time thinking about Richard or Sam. Or any other man.

‘Dr Grey’s phone.’ Suzy’s voice held the same thread of dislike that was always present when she spoke to Hayley, but never seemed to be in attendance when she spoke to the other staff. ‘Oh, hello.’ Warmth suddenly infused her voice. ‘It’s Suzy Carpenter.’

Hayley heard the change in her tone and panic made her swing around.

Suzy mouthed, ‘Lachlan McQuillan.’

Relief rolled through Hayley that it wasn’t Tom and she wasn’t about to become the target for gossip.

Suzy continued talking to Hayley’s counterpart on the other side of the surgical registrar’s roster. Lach usually called Hayley for a handover just prior to starting his shift.

She let Suzy flirt with the Scot while she stitched up the four small incisions she’d made. ‘David, I’m done. Thanks, everyone.’ She stepped back and stripped off her gloves, leaving the nurses to clean up and the anaesthetist to extubate the patient before handing her over to the care of the recovery nurses.

Suzy was still talking to Lachlan when Hayley put out her hand out for her phone. Suzy glared at her before purring down the line, ‘See you at Pete’s soon.’

The nurse slapped the phone into Hayley’s hand before stalking off, and Hayley rubbed her temples as she
put the phone to her ear. Lachlan was just coming back after two days off so the chances of Suzy catching him at Pete’s anytime soon were slim.

‘Hey, Lach, it’s been a quiet night, but if you can keep an eye on Mrs Papadopoulos’s blood pressure for me, that would be good.’

‘Not a problem, Hayley, lass. Enjoy your sleep.’

‘Study more like it. I’ve got two days off and the exams get closer every day.’

‘Aye, they do. It’s a shame you missed Finn Kennedy’s talk on the surgical considerations of gunshot wounds this morning. The man might be a devil to work for but he knows his stuff.’

‘Have you operated with him?’ Hayley hadn’t told anyone what had happened in the OR with Finn because everyone was allowed a bad day, but it still niggled at her and she wanted another person’s opinion.

‘Aye, last week. He makes it all look so easy while the rest of us struggle just to finish the job.’

So that was it, then. She’d caught Finn Kennedy on a bad day.

Lachlan continued. ‘I stayed on afterwards and caught Tom Jordan’s lecture for the final-year medical students about extra temporal epilepsy.’

Tom
. Her heart jumped, filling the empty space around it and she had to force herself to sound casual. ‘Anything interesting?’

‘Aye. Fascinating.’ His Scottish accent always sounded stronger when he was excited about something. ‘His patient kept spinning and experiencing memory gaps and Tom had a hunch. So, using electrodes for a month, he charted the electrical impulses and from there he removed a three-centimetre-diameter piece of brain from the seventeen-year-old. Turns out it was at the bottom of a mal-formation
called a sulcus dysplasia and the boy’s stopped spinning. Amazing stuff.’

‘He gives a good lecture, that’s for sure.’ Worried that her voice would give her away, she switched topics. ‘But listen, can you email me any notes from Kennedy’s lecture, which is more our area?’

He laughed. ‘Sure, although I hear you’ve taken to brain surgery. I’d better be careful or you’ll be making me look second-class.’

‘I was lucky, Lach. Believe me, you don’t need the stress.’

‘Aye, you’re right. Enjoy your break.’

Thanks, Lach—’ But he’d hung up before she could finish. She slipped her phone into her pocket and rubbed her chest, unused to it feeling this way. The fuller sensation hadn’t vanished when her heart had finally resumed its normal rhythm. It was an odd feeling and left her unsettled.

Seeing Tom will help. He might still be in the lecture theatre
.

That’s stalking
.

No, it’s not! I have to walk past it to go home
.

Opening the door and looking in isn’t part of your way home. What happened to getting a grip?

She conceded that point to her conscience. Her time with Tom had been wonderful, but it probably wasn’t going to happen again and this jumpy-heart stuff was just fatigue.

As she gathered her jacket, bag and MP3 player out of her locker, acid burned her gut and she realised she hadn’t eaten anything more than almonds and chocolate in hours. The thought of a breakfast of bacon, eggs, tomato, sausages and golden buttered toast had her salivating. She checked her watch. Twelve twenty p.m. There
was only one place she knew that served breakfast until midafternoon and that was Café Luna, which was a long drive from The Harbour but only a short ferry ride away.

You need to sleep and then study
.

Her stomach groaned so loudly that the nurse at a locker further down the room turned around and laughed.

‘You better get something to eat fast or you’ll need peppermint water for wind pain.’

Hayley joined in the laughter. ‘I think you might be right.’ She couldn’t sleep or study on an empty stomach and if she listened to some lectures on her MP3 player during the journey there and back, that would justify the travel time. Decision made, she slammed her locker shut, shoved white earbuds into her ears and started walking.

Tom had asked Jared to drop him off at a café he’d once visited frequently but hadn’t visited since the accident. He’d told Jared that he’d catch a taxi home because he didn’t want him to miss out on any classes. Jared, to his credit, hadn’t questioned him about why he wanted to come to this out-of-the-way place, given it was a bit of a drive, which was fortunate because Tom wasn’t certain he had an answer that made much sense. All he knew was that he’d woken up that morning and had instantly thought about the little beach café. Lately, when he’d been teaching the medical students, he’d experienced odd moments of total focus—the sort of intensity he’d known when he’d been operating. It surprised him because he wasn’t at all certain he wanted to teach long-term, but then again he had few other options within medicine and when he thought about working outside medicine, nothing sprang to mind.

Focus in today’s lecture, however, had been seriously lacking because the idea of the café had kept interrupting
him. By the time he’d answered the final question, it was like the memory of the café had taken hold of him and was demanding to be visited.

Before the accident, he’d often ridden his bike here on a Sunday morning and then he’d sit and read the papers and watch the world go by while gorging himself on the best breakfast in Sydney. Those happy memories had filled him with a zip of anticipation so by the time he’d taken his seat at his favourite outdoor table, he was almost excited. It wasn’t an emotion he experienced much any more because the
one
thing that had excited him beyond anything in his life had been surgery and now that was denied him.

Thirty minutes after taking his seat, it wasn’t going well. The coffee was still as aromatic and full of the caffeine kick he remembered, and the eggs on the crisply toasted English muffins were deliciously runny and the hollandaise sauce decadently creamy, but he couldn’t read the paper and the sounds and smells of the busy café dominated, preventing him from getting any sense of the beach despite it only being three steps away.

The cacophony disoriented him and he hated that. He cursed himself for getting into this position. He should have asked Jared to stay.
No
. What he should have done was not given in to a stupid memory and come to the café. He knew better than giving in to memories because he couldn’t relive anything any more. Nothing was ever the same now he’d lost his sight and right now was a perfect example of why he never acted on impulse. When he did, it left him stranded in unfamiliar environments and dependent on others.

‘Ah, sir?’ The waitress sounded uncertain.

Tom looked towards her, not because he could see her but because he knew sighted people needed him to look at
them or else they thought he wasn’t listening. In fact, he’d heard her footsteps well before she’d spoken, although he hadn’t been certain they belonged to the waitress due to so much passing foot traffic. ‘Yes?’

‘Can I get you anything else? We’ve got some lovely cakes today.’

‘I’ll have another coffee. Are you busy today?’

‘You arrived at the peak of the rush, but it’ll be quiet again soon. I’ll be right back with your espresso.’

He leaned back in the chair and breathed in, trying again to smell the sea, and this time, instead of the dominating smell of onions, bacon, coriander and chocolate, he caught a whiff of salt. He heard the excited shout of a child, but any responding voices were drowned out by an almighty crash of crockery. He sighed. Ironically, he’d never noticed any noise in the café when his entire perspective of the world had been absorbed through the visual.

His coffee arrived at the same time he heard the rumble of a ferry’s engine and the cheery toot of the horn. Soon after, just as the waitress had predicted, the café quietened, which allowed the sounds of the beach to finally drift in and the salt on the air make his nostrils tingle. A second later he caught the sudden scent of summer flowers and his gut tightened.