Symphony of Light and Winter (24 page)

“Linden…I…oh.”

I touched his protruding fang and scooped up the escaping blood with my thumb. “Why do you have them?”

He swallowed hard. “My…my…mistress recognized the force coursing through human veins. Blood replenishes energy lost while casting magic. Physical characteristics are easily changed for Gods, so she manifested fangs to pleasurably extract the liquid from her lovers. I was made in her image so I have them too.”

“I remember last time when you were injured? Do you, Cyril?” I conjured a wicked smile, continuing my ministrations.

“Yes.” He swallowed hard.

I leaned in closer to him. “Did you like drinking my blood?”

“Oh, yes.”

“What does it taste like?”

“Pure ecstasy drowned in a full-bodied wine.”

I grounded harder against him. His breath hitched.

I heard the footsteps cease.

“Do you want to drink from me, Cyril?” In the back of my mind I knew he didn’t want to be rescued or he would have screamed already, but keeping his mouth occupied still seemed like a good idea.

“Yes.”

I nuzzled his cheek. I breathed into his ear and he shivered. Shifting, I leaned my head to the side and exposed my neck, pressed it against his mouth while still rubbing my center against his cock. “Please, Cyril. Please drink from me.”

He whispered, “I need
you” as though I was not supposed to hear, then bit. His groans filled my ears as I felt liquid heat course through me. It started in my neck and moved through my veins—hot—setting my nerves on fire. When it reached my groin, combined with the friction, I came undone. Wave after wave of pleasure rushed through me.

“Cyril, oh God! I…”

It didn’t stop. I shook and clenched his hair in one hand while the other dug into his bicep. Tremors took control of my body as I crested and fell in pleasure.

His growl registered, and he released my neck. He licked the wound and placed soft, tender kisses any place he could reach. He whispered “Thank you,” louder this time, sending hot breath across my ear.

I shivered and in my postorgasmic haze, I remembered Overton. I glanced behind us to find the doorway empty. Thank God. I relaxed atop him, enjoying his closeness. I lifted his heavy hand. “What are the markings?”

“When traveling through a dimension, it’s like riding an electric current. The charge causes this pattern. It is part of my skin; more accurately, it’s the fused capillaries under the skin. The same phenomenon occurs when a human is struck by lightning, only in humans it disappears. I could probably weave a spell to rid myself of it, but I keep it to remind me of where I came from; that I was created to be exploited and no one or nothing else should be so.” He paused and inhaled. “I hope someday you’ll make love to me like that because you want to and not because you want to keep me from screaming for help. However, I want you to know I have never seen anything so beautiful.”

Damn it. So much for hoping he didn’t see through my distraction. I pulled the sleeves back up to rest on my shoulders. I wasn’t the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It wasn’t me he had hanging from his walls. Liar. “The woman in your hallway paintings, is that the Goddess?” He looked like the weight of a thousand worlds resided in him, but said nothing and looked away. I took it as confirmation.

“Did you love her?” It seemed a silly question to ask, but something told me he did. I crossed my arms.

“No. At times I felt something like love but it was hard to tell if it was real. I was created to love her, but I don’t believe she understood the concept well enough to grant me the capacity.”

A pit formed in my stomach. No matter how angry, I hoped someday he would grow to love me. I lowered my eyes away from his to look to his chest, certain he would hear the disappointment in my words. “So you do not have the capacity to love?”

“Linden, please look at me.”

I didn’t.

“Please.”

“I can’t.”

He sighed. “She did not grant me the capacity to love.”

I shuddered, and fought tears as his words sank in.

“Linden, I am more than what she wished for me to be. I have achieved things she could not even dream of. She thought she damned me by sending me here, when in reality, she gave me life.”

My chest shook from the contained sob.

“Please, look at me.”

I looked into his eyes, our connection instantaneous and overwhelming.

“You make me capable of all things. I not only have the capacity to love, I am consumed by it.”

I looked away, unable to deal with the emotions. Tears escaped my eyes.

“Don’t you understand, it’s the intense love I have for you that makes me such an idiot.”

Playing with the ribbon on the nightgown, I tried not to be affected by his words. The flood threatening my eyes proved how desperate I was for his love. They were words I longed to hear, but now seemed more unbelievable than his fantastic tale. I took a deep breath to quiet the shaky sobs. I needed to make the most of the time. One tear escaped my eye. I brushed it away.

“Overton said you think you’re cursed and you said she damned you here. How? What does that mean?”

He sighed. “The details are fuzzy. The Goddess didn’t exactly spell out the terms. I’ve had to discover the rules through trial and error and many paid the price. For example, I am immortal, but not immune to death. I suffer the pain of death, only to come back to do it again. I call this the Awakening. It’s a period of time it takes to reanimate me. Myself, Myghal, and all the rest of us go through it. Sometimes we retain memories, but most times we don’t. You can understand why that makes my family important to me. They are the continuity between my deaths, unless, as in your case, I fail to tell them. The longer I have been alive between deaths, the longer it takes to Awaken. This is yet another time I fear I have failed you. I do not believe the condition you had was an illness. I believe you succumbed to the Awakening with me.”

“But I didn’t die. I don’t understand.”

“There is more to the curse. The Goddess cast us to remote corners of the world so it took us centuries to even find each other. Immortality made it difficult to maintain any type of friendship with humans, having to always suffer their deaths. The others were at least afforded the comfort of temporary companionship. I, on the other hand, was granted an extra special parting gift. Women are attracted to me but any significant eye contact or closeness incites fear. She made it impossible for me to have any type of lasting bond with a woman.

“But you look me in the eye all the time and we’ve been…” Cough. “Close.”

“Yes, I know, but it’s meaningless if I keep screwing things up. Do you remember when I asked you for your first kiss?”

I nodded.

“When I bound you to me your protection was paramount. Your safety and my ability to reconnect with you were my only thoughts in those final moments. I believe our consciousness, our soul, leaves this realm during the Awakening and since ours are bound you were with me the entire time, which is why you succumbed to the coma.”

“Cyril, that’s crazy.”

“And everything else I’ve said seems perfectly normal?”

“Of course not, but if you die again, I might just have to kill you.”

“I’ll hand you the sword, as you are the only one who can.”

It all made sense now. If I struck the finishing blow, there would be no Awakening.
Just death. No wonder he didn’t trust me.

His words pulled me from my musings. “Where you are concerned, I haven’t been rational. You make me feel things I didn’t know I could. My reactions are unpredictable. Like in the loo at the concert hall, my need for you was overwhelming. I had a hard time reconciling the desire, the suspicion, and embarrassment of having been tricked by a human. I would have never forced you, but I had to touch you, feel you, and when your body responded to me… My desire to make you mine was almost uncontrollable, partly due to the bond—but my draw to you was there the first day we met.”

The sincerity and pain in his eyes was real. I leaned down to caress his face.

“Linden, my unfortunate deeds do not end there. I have a few theories why the curse may not affect you. If after I tell you this next part and this all becomes a cherished memory, I don’t know if I can accept that.”

“I’m already pissed about the mind-reading thing. You might as well go for broke.”

He closed his eyes. “When I saw your past, all of my missing memories were restored.” He sighed. “Your father was my banker and he held many of my business interests. He proved willing to make house calls in strange locations and at odd times, which was essential for me. He was a good man and very good at his job. One evening I asked him to meet me at my cabin, not the one you have seen, but another. It was winter and he brought your aunt and his pregnant wife.”

He knew my parents. I rested my hands on his chest, not wanting to miss a word.

“I had no idea three of the other men the Goddess created would try to destroy me that night. Ending me would stop the curse for all of us; at least, that’s what they believe. Some of them have been trying to kill me since the beginning. In ancient times, many of them ruled lands and enslaved people. In the modern day, it was easier for me to keep track of them. I appointed myself and my family the governing body of my supernatural brethren.”

So that’s what they did in their little war room.

“They attacked at the same time your father arrived. I had been harnessing magic from the earth for many centuries, collecting it within me but never using it since I forbade myself from Making. When they attacked, they taunted me with tales of how they tortured humans. I became enraged, not knowing how much power I had accumulated until I unleashed it on Ruarc, a large, winged fiend. I destroyed him and gained his power for my own. I should have never been able to destroy him. Myghal and Broden retreated after witnessing Ruarc’s demise.”

So they can be killed. “That seems like a good thing?”

Cyril’s expression withered and he inhaled a deep breath and held it. After several moments he released the air. “Your father and mother were casualties of our war. You were dying too. I ripped you from your mother’s womb and resuscitated you. I had never held an infant. You were still warm and fragile and gasping your last breath when I pulled you free. I was afraid to use magic after what happened with Ruarc, but knowing blood is the glue between the soul and life, I gave you mine. I had never shared my blood with a human. It gave you life. I always feared the effects my blood would have on your kind. Your first gasps of breath gave me such relief, and your father and mother were able to gaze upon you before they died. They begged me to take care of you and to save them. I gave them a choice.”

I listened intently while wringing my hands. He had saved my life!

He paused. “I didn’t want you to live without them. It was out of panic and desperation. You were so small and helpless in my arms. The moment I saw your aunt, I took the souls from your parents and combined them with hers. In that moment, I deluded myself and pretended their permission absolved me.”

I gasped. “Oh Cyril…”

“I had never woven female souls. I should have known better. I had always suspected the curse would extend to a woman I created, but I wasn’t thinking in those terms that night. You were all I considered. I was a fool from the beginning. I gave your guardian only a small amount of my essence so she remained mostly human. But she started to unravel just as the Goddess did.”

As though I needed confirmation, I said, “My aunt’s madness, the death of my parents and their souls…trapped forever—”

“I did it to save you, to provide for you.”

I considered all the things that could not be undone, and my love and hate of the creature. My reality shattered. Pain in my head and heart distracted from the anxiety flooding through me like dense, rolling fog. I couldn’t keep from breaking down.

Suddenly weak, I leaned forward, resting my head on his heart, his pulse a force against my ear. “Cyril, I wish this was all a story; some nightmarish fairy tale. I wish you were the man I remembered from before.” My tears rolled across his chest. I followed their wet path until they disappeared around his side.

“Oh, Linden, if there was any way I could change it, to make things different, I would.” He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my back softly. It felt so comforting, so right.

I sniffled as he said, “I will do everything I can to make it up to you.” He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head.

Oh shit! He could move!

In one swift movement, I broke free of his embrace and stumbled backward.

He sat up, looking startled. He must have registered the terror on my face. “Stop right there!”

He could catch me; I knew it. I stopped, resting on my arms as I watched him.

On his hands and knees, he prowled toward me. He was slow and cautious, his face soft. Face-to-face with me he said, “Linden, my light, the dart you used was a paralytic dart. Paralytic means to paralyze. The way the dart works is to render all the muscles useless, including the ones necessary for speech. Their heart and breathing even slows down. How do you suppose I was able to speak to you if I was paralyzed? Remember, I mind read the people the dart is used on.”

I didn’t answer him; I refused when he was in condescending bastard mode.

“Linden, the dart had no effect on me. I don’t want to lessen your victory, but I told you those things because I wanted to. You hold plenty of power over me; don’t let this discourage you.”

He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and savored the sensation, but no matter how much I wanted it, he had to pay.

“Cyril, I don’t know if I can deal with all of this. Trusting you might not be a possibility. The only promise I can make is that I will try, but who knows where I will end up. In the meantime, don’t make any more decisions regarding me. Don’t do me any favors and don’t think this heartfelt confession erases everything else. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find some underwear.”

I backed up a little more and scooted out from under him. I got to my feet and headed for the door. Stopping, I turned toward him. “By the way, you can start trying to make it up to me by bringing my things to my room. Yes, my room, not yours. Once you have seen to my things, promptly remove yourself. Find somewhere else to parade around naked; I’m in no mood to entertain. Good night, Grim!”