Tab Bennett and the Inbetween (17 page)

He cleared his throat a couple of times. He always cleared his throat when he had something difficult to say, like the words were stuck and he was trying to force them out – or back down.

“The other night...”

“George already told me about the enchantment, about what it does to you. I get why you had to…stop. It’s ok.”

“I shouldn’t have let it get that far in the first place. It kind of felt like my last chance to be with you in that way and I wanted to try, you know, so I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life regretting that I never did. Does that make sense?”

“I just wish you had told me.”

He nodded, looking contrite. “I should have explained everything before I left but once I decided that we had to stop I needed to get away from you. I didn’t have it in me to switch from being so close to making love with you to yet another conversation about why it couldn’t happen.”

“I understand,” I said. “I’m really tired of those conversations too.”

“Do you forgive me?” he asked.

“If you forgive me.”

He smiled, then nodded. “So I can stay?”

It hadn’t even occurred to me that he would leave. “You’d better,” I said. “God knows I need all the help I can get.”

“So we’re friends then?”

“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”

The break room at Bennett Falls Bank looked exactly like every other break room in every other bank and business across the country and probably the world. The neutral walls were covered with a mix of state mandated posters about minimum wage and OSHA standards and inspirational ones that featured plucky kittens who encouraged you to hang on. There was a large round table, a coffee pot, a small fridge, and an old microwave. The staff lockers were on one side of the door and the time clock was on the other. Hanging between the two was a sign, written in Pop’s perfect penmanship, which read, “Tardiness will not be tolerated.” It was a wholly unremarkable room, one I’d always thought of as utilitarian and just a little ugly. That morning it looked like heaven.

It was good to be back. After weeks of sadness and confusion and unwelcome surprises, it was good to be anywhere that wasn’t the cottage or the Manor.

“Oh thank God you are finally here,” Nina said as she stormed into the room. Forceful and abrupt and full of energy, Nina stormed everywhere she went. “It’s been chaos here without you. Chaos.”

I smiled at her, happy to see my brash friend after weeks of missing her.

“Chaos,” she said again for emphasis as she threw herself dramatically onto a chair.

Nina was one of those girls who somehow gets prettier and prettier the longer you talk to her until, by the end of the conversation, you think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. But she wasn’t beautiful, not really. Her lips were too small and her eyes were disconcertingly dark against her pale skin. Her hair was a shocking red that shouldn’t have been natural but was and she had exactly seven freckles across the bridge of her nose. Not that anyone noticed that. Whatever she lacked in classic beauty, she more than made up for in confidence. She had the easy smile, the flirting eyes, the swaying walk that girls who are beautiful – and therefore used to getting their way – all have. Nina almost always got her way. I’d always loved that about her, the way she made herself beautiful just by believing that she was.

“How’ve you been?” she asked, suddenly remembering that she was supposed to be concerned about me.

“I was having a nervous breakdown but I’m better now.” I clicked my locker shut and pinned my Bennett Falls Bank nametag to my sweater. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to you. I just couldn’t handle…conversation.”

“Matthew told me you were having a hard time.” Nina paused and looked at me with just a hint of worry around her saucer-sized eyes. “Do you know? About me and Matt? He and I have been seeing each other since the funeral but I don’t know if he told you or not.”

One thing you have to give the Bennetts credit for, they could really keep a secret. I pressed a smile onto my face and said, “He isn’t really talking to me right now.”

“I know. He mentioned that.”

I wondered what Elf-free version of our falling out Matt had given her. I wondered what she knew, how much of what she knew was true. I was willing to bet it wasn’t much.

“So, now that you know about Matt and me are you mad?” she asked.

 “Surprised maybe, but not mad. He’s great and you’re great and I’m sure you’re great together.”

“And we’re ok? Really? Because it’s sisters before misters as far as I’m concerned.”

“Have at him,” I said. Even though I wasn’t sure I actually felt this casual about Nina dating one of my cousins I didn’t see the point in upsetting her or making Matt any angrier.

“Can I tell you something kind of terrible? I sort of seduced him at the funeral. He looked so sad—I couldn’t stand it. I had to fuck him just to cheer him up,” she said, laughing. “Am I the worst?”

“Kind of,” I replied, “but then who am I to judge people who suffer momentary lapses of judgment at funerals?”

 “We’ll get to that in a minute,” she said, pointing at me with one perfectly plucked eyebrow raised.

Sitting there with Nina the whole incident on the porch with Alex didn’t seem that bad, it seemed sort of dishy and fun. I’d tell her about it, she’d laugh, and I’d feel better about the whole mess.

“I just want to be sure you’re really okay with this. It’s just that you’ve always been a little protective of your cousins, especially Matt. And Rivers, my God. She was like a guard dog where he was concerned. She almost beat me up once for saying he had a nice ass.”

“No she didn’t.” Not Rivers, she wasn’t like that. She didn’t have a mean bone in her body.

“Oh yes. It was right before she ran away. We were all in the kitchen at the Manor and Matt came through on his way out for a run. He was wearing those shorts, those high school track shorts? Who wouldn’t look at a butt like that?” She paused dramatically before adding, “It’s even better bare. There, I said it!”

“Gross, Nina, that’s my cousin. You can only date him if you promise to keep details like that to yourself.”

Nina laughed. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I always thought Rivers had a little inappropriate crush on Matt.”

I protested just like I was supposed to. I told Nina that I never saw any evidence of that, called her a deviant for even suggesting it. But I have to admit; it made me think. Rivers never dated anyone. Boys were interested but she always turned them down. She and Matt had always been close. If she wasn’t with me, she was with him. Rivers and Matt? It seemed impossible…and yet…not.

“Now that we’ve settled that, let’s talk about your gorgeous new friend. Who is he?”

 “Alex, his name is Alex.” I rolled my eyes. “And he’s…um…complicated.” She laughed and I couldn’t help but join her. The whole situation was ridiculous. “Tell me the truth; how bad did they whole thing look from where you were sitting?”

“Do you mean the part where he was feeling you up on the front porch?”

I winced.

“A lot better than it looked from wherever Robbin was standing, I’d guess. How mad was he?”

I dropped my head on into my hand. “You can’t imagine what a mess my life is right now. We broke up. But then last night we sort of made up so we’re not back together but we’re friends now. I think. It’s complicated.”

“Tell Nina all about it,” she said.

And I really wanted to. I was prepared to tell her the whole story—or at least as much of it as I could without using the dreaded E word but I didn’t get the chance. Trudy came in with a new girl in tow and our conversation came to an abrupt end. A quick look at Nina’s face told me I wasn’t off the hook.

“Tab! Welcome back, honey,” Trudy said, giving me a warm hug. “I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you.”

Trudy and I had been friends as long as Nina and me. Starting way back elementary school she’d been the sweet, mothering one in our little circle of friends. The kind of girl who baked cookies and made her own holiday cards.

“Sorry about dropping off the face of the earth like that.”

Trudy smiled like she understood. “It’s OK. I know you had a lot to deal with. Any word from Becky or Molly?”

For a second, I didn’t know what she was talking about. Then I recovered, saying, “Molly was so upset but she just couldn’t get home in time. We haven’t heard from Becky.”

There was a moment of silence during which I was trying to decide if I should keep making up lies to cover their absences or just tell my friends the truth about my sisters. I might have spilled the whole thing if Trudy had come in alone.

The woman cowering behind her looked like an underfed sixteen year old, all points and corners and elbows, but I knew Trudy wouldn’t have hired her if she was really that young. Her collarbones poked at the stretched out turtleneck sweater she wore. Her shoes were dusty and old, the black leather wearing out a little at the toe. Her mouse brown hair hung straight down her back without benefit of highlight, clip, or headband.

“Well I’m just glad you’re back,” Trudy said.

I nodded toward the woman standing behind her.

 “Oh, this is Allison.” she said as she pushed the stranger forward. “Allison, this is Tabitha Bennett.”

“Tab,” I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. She stared at it for a moment, just one awkward beat too long, before she took it.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said in a voice just louder than a whisper. She made eye contact briefly then blushed and looked back at the floor. She had what Pop always called cloud eyes, dreamy and distant and unfocused.

Around town a lot of people are intimidated by the Bennett name. Since it’s on the sign above the bank doors and also on my driver’s license, I’d gotten pretty good at putting people at ease about it. I turned on the charm, smiling at Allison for all I was worth.

“Welcome aboard,” I said although we did not work on a boat. “You’re going to love working here. Trudy is the best.”

I paused, giving Allison a chance to agree with me or nod enthusiastically or give some indication that she understood and could participate in normal pleasantries. But there was nothing from her.

“I was hoping you’d show her how we do things around here,” Trudy said, pushing Allison toward me.

“Sure, I’d be happy to.” I clapped my hands together, making the new girl jump. “I’ll show you the opening procedure and we’ll get you a drawer and see if you can count. I learn best by doing so that’s how I’ll teach you.”

Allison gave me an indecisive nod that managed to convey no answer at all.

I waved goodbye to Nina and Trudy and held the door open for Allison. “I’ll see you two at lunch.”

“You bet you will,” Nina said. They both giggled as the door closed behind us.

*********

I tried – really I did – to like Allison and believe me, she didn’t make it easy. She was all one-word answer and confusing half nods. I waited and waited to see some sign of personality but it failed to make an appearance. She was about as fun to be with as a bag of wet mice. But she was a fast learner; she asked good questions and really listened to the answers. Even though it was her first day and I was standing over her shoulder, she didn’t make a single mistake. By mid-morning it was pretty clear that she was going to workout perfectly as a teller even if she wasn’t going to be my new BFF. Something about her—maybe the polite but firmly distant way she spoke to everyone; maybe the way her eyes constantly swept the room; maybe the growing restlessness I sensed in her made me think she was hiding something. That’s why I invited her to have lunch with us; if there was something to know about Allison, I wanted to know.

At 12:30 we met Trudy and Nina in the break room for lunch. No sooner were we seated around the table than Nina said, “All right, spill it.”

“What do you want to know?” I asked.