Taboo Love in the West Part 1: A Heart Off-Limits (Wild West Adventures in Love Book 3) (5 page)

Chapter Five

Eliza walked slowly. It was a warm day, and she had left her parasol behind her as she so often did these days. She enjoyed feeling the sun on her skin, likening herself to the little lizards she often saw sunning themselves out on the rocks all over town, and it did make her move through life more slowly and with a more definite purpose. She was enjoying her first day off for what felt like forever, and was glad to be finally taking the two mile walk out of town to her friend Lily’s home. She was looking forward to spending the day gossiping and playing with her newborn daughter. She wanted to be reassured that it truly was possible to build a wonderful and fulfilling life here in South Dakota. She hoped that seeing Lily would be enough to help her quell her final few doubts.

She walked through a small clump of young fruit trees, clearly only planted in the last year, and saw a stunning clapboard home, complete with rocking chairs on the veranda and a hammock strung between two large trees. It was large, with plenty of room for a young family to grow into. The garden was full of blooming flowers, and she spied a well-tended vegetable patch out back that probably provided for most of the small family’s needs. She walked up the path, admiring the work that had gone into making this an oasis of homely comforts. She looked up to see her friend hurtling at full pace towards her, wrapping her up in the hugest hug and covering her face with kisses. “Oh, Eliza I am so glad to see you! When Judd told me that you were coming I couldn’t believe it, and then when he said he’d met you and that you looked like you were adapting well I was just over the moon. Come in, come in! I want you to meet Gwendoline.” She ushered Eliza onto the porch where a wooden crib on broad rockers held a calm and pretty baby. She had the most adorable chubby cheeks and big blue eyes that stared at Eliza steadily, unblinking. “She is the very image of her papa, but I hope she will grow into some feminine features soon!” Emmeline said, her eyes full of pride and a desperate plea for approval. Eliza laughed aloud, a peal of giggles that was so genuine at her friend’s nervous welcome.

“Lily, or should I call you Emmeline these days?” she asked.

“Doesn’t really matter, but I felt I left Lily and all her airs and graces behind a long while ago now. You’ll understand that soon, I’m sure.”

“I think I already do. Emmeline then – that’s going to take some getting used to – but calm down, I’m still just me. And I am overjoyed to see you. May I hold her?”

“My gosh, of course you can. Here let me get her up for you.” Emmeline leant down and gently plucked her child out from the rocking cradle. She handed her proudly to Eliza, who gazed down at the tiny, perfect infant she now held in her arms. She felt a pang she never had before. She had always been accepting of the status of spinsterhood, and hadn’t felt any pangs of regret that this meant she would never enjoy the joys of motherhood too, but as her body had begun to stir in its passion for Amitola, she had begun to realise just how much she would be giving up. This perfect baby, the chance to have one like it, was just one, and it made her feel desolate inside. She cooed prettily to the baby as she tried to cover he feelings and was rewarded with contented gurgles that brought a smile back to her heart and her lips.

“She is beautiful, Emmeline. You are such a lucky girl. To think all this came about because you brave enough to answer an ad in the paper and take such a huge risk.”

“I got lucky. Not so many others do. Judd is a good, kind man. I love him,” Emmeline said simply, finally relaxing back into the easy companionship that had defined their relationship before. Eliza looked around her longingly. Emmeline had gambled and had ended up with everything that any woman could ever ask for: a handsome and good husband, a beautiful child and a wonderful place to make a home for them all. For the first time ever she wished that this kind of companionship, love and life was in her future.

“Your home is lovely. Did Judd build it for you?” she asked innocently, unaware of anything that might have happened to make this a strange question. She was therefore shocked when Emmeline burst into giggles that threatened to stop her from getting her words out.

“Now, there is a story all its own, Eliza! I’ll tell you all about it one day, but not right now. I want to hear all about how you are getting on at the reservation. Judd told me you’ve opened a school? Would you like some help? I can pack Gwen into a papoose. Amitola gave Judd one as a gift when we found out I was having a baby. It’s wonderful, and it means I can take her anywhere!” Eliza almost jumped out of her skin as she heard his name. It was enough to set her skin tingling from top to toe, but it was a feeling she could never confide to anyone. She felt saddened that there would be no happy ending for her, like there had clearly been for her friend. Emmeline truly had found her soul mate by the way she talked about the handsome cowboy who had tamed her and made her settle down. She dragged herself back reluctantly to what her friend was saying and forced herself to reply as brightly as she could manage.

“I’d love your help if you have the time. It would be wonderful to have some assistance here in town, too, if Judd can spare you. It is hard work and some of the children are doing better than others. It would be so wonderful to have another pair of experienced hands around so we can support the slower learners and stretch the faster ones. If you are sure you have the time to offer me I would be more grateful than you would ever know, but what on earth is a papoose, and why does it mean you will be able to help me out?”

Emmeline danced over to the hook by the door and produced a sturdy looking carry sac that she then popped Gwen into. Eliza looked on amazed as she strapped the child onto her back, the tiny face peeking out looked so cute, but Emmeline was right, it did mean that she really could take her anywhere. “You can wear it at the front too, makes feeds very easy. Isn’t it a wonderful thing? The Indians have some wonderful things; we could learn a lot from them.” Eliza couldn’t help but agree. It truly was a wonderful invention, and she was glad to know that her friend also held the opinion she did that there was much to learn from their neighbours, rather than being afraid of them.

The two women passed a wonderful afternoon together. Eliza changed Gwen and rocked her when she fretted, a loving bond built between them in record time. Emmeline bustled around preparing food for the evening meal, and she even invited Eliza to join them. Judd would take her home in their trap later on. She agreed gladly. She didn’t want this afternoon to end. They laughed and cried telling the stories of their journeys and Emmeline’s exploits since. Eliza prayed she would find her happiness in a little less dramatic of a fashion should she ever be blessed to receive it, but couldn’t help but admire the strength and tenacity of both her friend and her now devoted husband to making their mail order marriage work.

Amitola loved looking out over the plains at sundown. It brought home to him that each day was a new beginning and that every task he had undertaken that day had brought him to this point – the point where he could relax and enjoy the moment. He had found that he was not alone in his love of the interplay of light, shadow and colours that occurred every night. Judd often joined him here on the bluff as he returned from guarding his herd to go home to his wife. Tonight was one of those nights, and though he enjoyed having this moment to himself, in recent days it had become harder and harder to still his mind and enjoy the silence. A perky and petite thought kept on breaking into his meditations, and he often found himself unable to achieve the relaxation and peaceful state he so desired to be able to return to.

“Hey big fella,” the cowboy said. “You look miles away!”

“I suppose I was. How are you? How is young Gwendoline doing?”

“Great. Emmeline was complaining that she never stops eating, but I don’t think she meant it, though she says it can hurt a little at times. I think she is proud that we have such a hearty eater on our hands. She loved your birth gift by the way, uses it all the time. Gwen is probably the most well-travelled baby in town!”

“My pleasure. I am so glad she is finding it useful. Your women so often look burdened by their babies. I have never seen ours look that way.” Amitola had thought long and hard about the gift he had chosen. Traditionally new babies would be given a dream catcher or other more spiritual gifts, but he had decided that with both Emmeline and Judd being such practically minded people that a practical and highly useful gift would be more apt.

“How is everything going down at the school? Emmeline says that Eliza is a great teacher. That your children are in the best hands,” Judd added. He was a generous and kind man, and Amitola often felt that the cowboy saw more in others hearts than he ever let on. He wondered if he had picked up on the undercurrents between himself and Eliza the other day.

“It is going very well, even better than I think any of us had hoped. Emmeline is right. Eliza is doing a wonderful job; the
oyate
are really starting to take her to their hearts.”

“Hey, I know you are probably busy, my friend, but why don’t you join us for dinner tonight? You’ve not been by since Gwen was born. She’s grown so much, and I know Emmeline enjoys your company.”

“I would like that, if you are sure it would be no imposition, my friend?” he reflected Judd’s words warmly.

“None at all, come on – I know my wife. She will have cooked enough to feed an army!”

The two men rode companionably as they so often did, in silence, towards the house. They quickly rubbed down their horses and gave them food and water before washing up at the pump in the yard and headed on to the porch. “Emmeline, I hope you don’t mind. I invited Amitola to join us for supper.” Judd called as he went through the screen door.

Emmeline appeared at great speed to greet her man with a warm kiss and a passionate hug. “I thought I heard more than one horse – was wondering if I had gone crazy!” She twinkled at them both, clearly pleased to have her husband home safe. “Eliza stopped by today too. I invited her to stay and take pot luck, so the more the merrier.” Amitola jolted at the mention of her name and tried to excuse himself. He wasn’t sure he could take the proximity and intimacy of a meal with her. It was hard enough keeping his emotions in check in the school.

“I couldn’t possibly intrude if you already have a guest. I will go.” He turned to leave, but Emmeline and Judd were having none of it.

“Don’t be so ridiculous,” they said in tandem. “I have made more than enough, and you will make a welcome addition to our table,” Emmeline continued as her husband grinned at her. He leant over and kissed her warmly.

She ushered her men inside, and smiled as Judd bent down to kiss his daughter, lifting her out of the crib and whirling her around enraptured with her tiny features. Understandably a little upset by the sudden movement and being woken from her peaceful slumber, Gwen let her displeasure be known with a sudden cry that she simply wouldn’t quit. Eliza ran through from the kitchen to see what had upset the little girl and almost cried out loud herself when she saw who else was in the room with them. Judd looked completely nonplussed by the squalling infant. Obviously he hadn’t yet learnt to quiet her grizzles. Amitola gestured to him to hand over the child, currently unaware that Eliza was there, and just as Judd passed him the child, he looked up and noticed her there.

“Hello, Miss Gillespie.” He greeted her formally as he always did. It helped him to keep his feelings in check, at least a little. He was grateful that he had already been aware of her presence in the house, especially as he saw the look of dismay on Eliza’s face that she politely tried to cover as quickly as she could. Amitola focused on the task in hand and tucked Gwen tightly into his big arm and rocked her gently, crooning little songs in his native tongue, Lakota. The child stared up at him for what seemed like a lifetime, until she finally had to tear her eyes away from his and nodded off to sleep.

“Now, that is a trick I need to learn from you, my friend,” Judd exclaimed as he took the slumbering child back and laid her gently in her crib. Amitola just smiled and hoped that the evening would pass quickly. The brief moment of sadness that had crossed her face earlier now just a distant memory, Eliza looked so happy and comfortable here. He watched her helping Emmeline to prepare the meal, feeling a tug at his heart, thinking how wonderful this could be if Eliza were always there to prepare his meals for him, if they could find the joy that their hosts had been so blessed to discover in one another. As much as he wished to stay and just watch her forever, he knew he would give himself away should he do so. He joined Judd on the veranda, and they enjoyed a glass of beer and discussed where Judd could move his herd to next as they waited for the women to finish up making the supper.

Amitola’s thoughts kept returning to the tiny woman, bustling about, her cheeks flushed from the stove and her exertions. Would he ever be able to get her out of his mind? It was so unfair that he should finally meet someone who set his body and heart on fire, and for her to be such an impossible target. He had always assumed that one day he would find a wife and settle down. He had never expected to find someone he could love heart and soul, but someone he could share affections and companionship had been a part of his life plan always. He had never found anyone that he felt he could do that with, and now he finally had and it was impossible, it could never be. The ancestors were clearly playing some kind of cruel trick on him sending him the embodiment of all his desires in the body of a white woman.

The meal was delicious, and nobody seemed to notice that Emmeline was doing most of the talking. She often did, so it wasn’t that unusual, but Amitola was aware the entire time of how close Eliza was to him as they sat around the table to share the meal, and each time he glanced up from his plate, he would feel her eyes upon him, though she would always have turned away long before he could catch them and lose himself in their deep blue depths. As soon as he felt it polite to do so, he rose from the table and made his excuses to leave. Just as he did, Gwen awoke and was grizzling and grouchy. Judd asked him politely if he would escort Eliza home, so Judd could clear up while Emmeline fed and bathed the child. Amitola agreed reluctantly, having hoped to ride like the wind across the plains to banish some of the frustration he was feeling.