Taboo Love in the West Part 1: A Heart Off-Limits (Wild West Adventures in Love Book 3) (9 page)

“What were you thinking? You could have killed yourself! You think I couldn’t feel you pulling away from me?” He was fuming. Eliza was ecstatic. His anger told her in a moment that Matoskah was right after all. Amitola did love her, or at the very least cared about her more strongly than he had ever let on before. She didn’t bother to respond to him, but ignoring the pain in every part of her, pulled him towards her and kissed him. He was clearly so stunned that he couldn’t stop himself from returning her kiss. His hands began to trace her body, no longer looking for injuries – this was an entirely different kind of exploration. Her body felt alive, with a life of its own, and she could feel Amitola’s response to that desire. When he tried to pull away she pulled him back, determined that she would get her own way just once.

Chapter Ten

“This may be the only chance we ever get, Amitola. If I must be a spinster for the rest of my life, I want to at least have a sweet memory of having been with the man I love with all my heart to get me through those years,” she cried passionately. He answered her with a bruising kiss that took her breath away and demanded everything of her. She responded fiercely, giving as much as she received and then some, exchanging kiss for kiss, following his lead. His tongue gently parted her lips, entering and probing, and she copied his movements and was rewarded with a groan of satisfaction. The kiss they had shared so many weeks ago now seemed so tame in comparison with this brutal exchange of passion for passion. This was wild and untamed, and the electricity pulsated between their bodies. His warm hand had reached her buttocks, and was firmly holding her to him. She could feel his manhood through the thin leather of his breach cloth, and though the sensations delighted her, she also became a little frightened of the forces she had unleashed. But her fears soon subsided as the sensations she was experiencing from his kisses as they trailed down her neck soon quelled all her fear. She felt wanton and languid in his arms. He could do whatever he wanted to her. She wanted to experience everything he could possibly give to her. She helped him to unbutton her blouse, and almost swooned with pleasure as he continued to trail kisses along her collar bone, and down into her cleavage. He began to fumble at the corset, and then in his frustration at not getting anywhere fast just thrust his hand inside and popped out a small, perfectly round and pert white breast so he could suckle hungrily at her nipple. She gasped aloud completely amazed that such a thing could create such an intense well of pleasure within her. She allowed her own hands to trace across his chest, and pinched at his nipples too, wondering if his would elicit such in intense reaction as her own. She was pleased to discover that he seemed completely responsive to her touch too as he groaned with satisfaction and bent his head to kiss her small fingers, each in turn, then suckle slowly at each one. He held her gaze as he did so, and though she wanted to close her eyes to look away to focus purely on the shivers of pleasure as they rocketed throughout her every cell, she found herself hypnotised by the dark and mysterious depths of his stare.

The fires of passion were now stoked so furiously hot, and his impatience for her began to show through as he fumbled with her petticoats and pulled down her pantaloons. With a rough but gentle hand he reached down and stroked her naked thighs, coming to rest at their apex. If she had believed that the sensation of having him tease and taste her nipples had been intense, she had no words to describe the impact that his furiously teasing fingers now had upon her. Finding her embarrassingly wet for him, he needed no further encouragement to remove his breach cloth, and he mounted her, plunging in with reckless abandon, neither of them noticing the tiny gasp she made as he broke through her virginity, both too lost in the moment and the intense pleasure that finally being joined as one after months of wanting, months of needing. They moved in tandem, together in the most basic and most carnal of ways. The rhythm built and she cried out his name as he whispered hers softly in her ear, the sound of his laboured breathing creating a feeling of power and intense pleasure within her that she could never hope to explain. They came together in a release that left them both shaking. Eliza felt whole, complete at last and enjoyed to the fullest the sensation of having the weight of his beautiful body bearing down upon her, his member still inside her, two halves of a single whole. She wanted to stay here forever, enveloped in his love and passion, bound to one another skin to skin, soul to soul. For now, she knew what this meant and the passion that mutual love could bring. How would she ever live without it? Seeing him every week on the reservation would be the sweetest pleasure and the greatest torment. He would be imprinted on her memory forever, and she couldn’t bear the thought that this was all they would ever be able to share.

“Amitola?” Eliza’s voice broke him out of the trance. What had he done? He rolled away from her as if her skin burnt him. “Amitola, stop it. I started this. Not you.” She knew him so well, but he had still defiled her. All his fears that one of his brethren might have done so before he found her, and then he was the one that lost control and ruined her instead. He pulled down her skirts, fastened his breach cloth back into place and moved as far from her as he could, watching as she hastily redressed herself. She left her hair dishevelled, and though he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t help but want to uncoil it completely and kiss her again and again as he held its glorious lengths in his hands. He cursed aloud, and scolded himself internally again. He had seen the way white women had been treated when their families and neighbours had found out they had been raped. They were ostracised and cast out. Many had ended up as outcasts on the reservations too, as the men responsible had only wanted to have their fun, to punish them for the sins of their men-folk, not begin a relationship with them. They died lonely, and often by their own hand. He did not want that for Eliza. She was so sweet and kind, and she deserved better. He would hate himself forever for what he had done. “Have you finished beating yourself up?” she demanded, sitting up with her hands on her tiny hips.

“You haven’t been here long enough to know what this means. I vowed I would not do this – that I would not ruin your life,” he cried, his anguish in every syllable and shame in his face at every movement of his muscular body.

“Amitola, don’t be so ridiculous,” Eliza said brusquely, impatient with him for being such a fool. “You haven’t ruined my life. You complete my life. I didn’t want to die never having known this kind of passion. I am no fool; I know there is no way for us to be together, but I wanted this one chance that fate – that destiny has thrown our way. If I have to live forever without you I will, but I had to have something to carry me through. How on earth will anyone know unless I tell them?” He wanted to agree with her, wanted to believe that she meant what she said, but he had seen too many women hurt, and he couldn’t bear to think that he had been the cause of such pain for her, the one woman he had ever met who he knew would hold his heart and soul in precious care and love forever. He had given up all hope of finding the one and knew that when he did finally settle down and raise a family that at best he could hope to establish a meeting of minds and genuine respect, but what he felt for Eliza was so much more than that staid view of a respectable future. It was full of bright colour and rich emotions, one that promised so much, yet could never be.

“Amitola we have just this one chance – and that one chance is happening right now,” she continued feisty and alluring in her determination. “Everyone currently thinks I am missing. My father will be none the wiser that it took us longer than it should have for you to return me to his care. Yes, you will have to return to the reservation and marry a good Sioux woman in time. Yes, I will have to return to my father and continue my life alone as a spinster – I am well past the age where I can expect to find a husband now. But, I want you. I love you. I know we can do nothing about the love part, but I know you want me too – we can slake that thirst. So I challenge you to give me one good reason why we shouldn’t we grab this chance at pleasure while we can.”

He couldn’t fault her logic, and he so desperately wanted to take her at her word, that slaking their lust could have no foreseeable consequences. He still found it hard to get past his fears for her safety, and even now he began to worry that there may already be one incredibly difficult to conceal consequence of their actions. What if she had a child? Every bit of him wanted to take her up on her wanton offer, to whisk her away somewhere beautiful before he took her home, to slake his desperate thirst for her body and her love, but he was a diplomat and he was finding it tough to silence the pragmatic leader within him, who looked at the consequences before he acted. If she had a child because of his foolish lack of control, then all their lives would be ruined. He would be hanged for his desecration of a white woman’s virtue, and she would be forced to give up the child. Even her father would not be able to help her.

“If you are thinking about the consequences, why on earth will they be any different if we have spent hours together, enjoying one another as fully as we possibly can, than they will be now?” Eliza asked, clearly frustrated with his silence. He found it quite disconcerting that she could read his mind so easily, and was about to voice his pragmatic and sensible objections when she continued boldly. “They cannot geld or hang you twice, they cannot ostracise me and kick me out any more than the first time – once I am gone I am gone. And there is one key feature here – those women told of their ordeals in the hope of receiving justice. That they got no help from either side is tragic, and both nations should be ashamed, but this is different. They suffered heinous acts, insufferable ordeals, Amitola – this is no ordeal. I have prayed to have this chance, to be with you to know you fully just once if I could. I have no reason to seek vengeance on you, and I hope you have no reason to wish me harm either. I will hold the memory of this day close to my heart, and locked in my head until the day I die, my own secret to keep me warm through the cold and lonely life I have always known would be my own. You owe me this, Amitola,” she finished defiantly.

“Get on the horse,” he said gruffly. He saw her face fall, and knew in that moment just how much she had meant every word. She did as he asked, and he mounted behind her again. He turned the horses head, and rather than heading for the town, he raced towards the mountains. Eliza cried with glee, and leant up to kiss his collar bone, the only part of him that she could reach as they rode at speed to a quiet place where they could explore their passion to its fullest.

Appendix: Glossary of Words for the Curious Reader

Amitola –
meaning rainbow

Dakota/Lakota/Nakota
– the three dialects spoken by the Sioux

Teton/Yankton/Santee
– the three tribes – these are made up of smaller groups who spoke one of the three dialects.

oyate
– people or Nation

ochanka –
the well travelled road

Tiyospaye (tee-osh-pa-yeh) – an extended family group that lives together.

paha sapa –
Black Hills, Sioux creation tradition is based on these

mako sica –
The Badlands

mato paha
– Bear Butte – a special spiritual site, still used now for religious ceremonies and vision quests

Kul Wicasa Oyate –
The Lower Brule Sioux tribe, a band of related Lakota families called
Sicangu
(burnt thighs) who favoured the lands where the White River empties into the Missouri River – led by Chief Iron Nation

Wahantanka
– created the world according to Sioux legend