Tainted (24 page)

When I left the historians once more and refreshed before heading to the dinner table, I was thankful I asked them about the Nyms understanding a little more why they had such strong animosity towards our court.  I would hate us too if centuries ago my people were taken as slaves and made to work for free.  And I’d be angry and would want to lash out if my people were disgraced into marrying the enemy and forced to create a new race.   THEY are angry that I’m to be their shared realm queen too because I am considered disgraceful for being a half-breed with the human race.  Like they can talk!  

I remembered Ian telling me a little of this back when I first moved here, but some of it pieced together now.  The Nyms just wanted to be indemnified for they’re loses.  I could maybe solve this.  I...Grace Starmen, had a plan.

My mind wandered back to pleasant things from the night before.  I can’t even explain how amazing it was to just have his arms wrapped around me.  At some point in the night I was able to roll over and just watch him.  Heaven was sleeping right there in front of me and he begged me to be there.  I regarded the dark room taking in the very manly décor as I lied there.  It was just…Ian.  He was all earth and woods to me.  I enjoyed a happy thought of our hiking in the woods and proud that the makeup of a bedroom we’d spend a lifetime in could draw up such fond memories from our past.  I want to do that again.  Just him, me, and the trees.  

I rotated around the corners of the court anxious to see Ian and slowed when he wasn’t at the table then continued on feeling downcast and a little silly.  I was a lovesick puppy.  He’s my world and I was rotating on the axis.  Suddenly, I was grabbed from the side, pulled into a flat spin, and dropped into a dip with a very eager Ian kissing me in front of the entire court. 
Whoa!  Hmm!  Yeah!
  

I couldn’t hang in the air much longer but I wasn’t fully aware since I was mixed up with the delicious taste of his kiss versus the crowd getting an eyeful.  He gently pulled me back up and continued the kiss putting his hands on my face.  His teeth gently pulled on my bottom lip and moved an inch away from my mouth.  “You wanted this, right?”

Breathless, I answered, “In front of the crowd.  They will gossip.”

“The alternative is boring to them.  They’d rather see their queen happy.  And if I am correct, you seem happier when you’re kissed.”

Well, that was a pretty good assessment on his part.  Since when did my old Ian who knew my every thought come back?   He was lost, but now found.  I like this Ian.  I fell in love with this Ian.  I want to do this again, Ian!

He stood me back up.

I dared.  My hands cupped his face and I kissed him back.  The crowd was in some kind of open silence.  They were watching all right.  Maybe hoping that if they stayed this quiet we might continue.  I was certainly for it.

Ian reached behind my back and took my hand rolling me out to the crowd of onlookers in some kind of forced bow.  They clapped and I blushed on cue.  Oh, Ian.

We ate in happy bliss and went our separate ways for nighttime guard checkups and reading the progress made by the historians.

I met with my new book club at sundown.  They were eager to greet me and acted way too much like a red carpet entrance.  I shied them away from it insisting they treat me like a friend, and nothing else, but they had malice up their sleeves. When they applauded me and announced the kiss a ten I knew what they meant.  Even the Fey rated a kiss!

We’d made it into the next chapter when Sarah sat up straight and froze.  After a clear five Mississippi’s, she stuttered through a statement about what I thought about the next chapter.  I followed her very distracted eyes that were scanning the length of the bookshelves behind me.  Hiding my voice from sounding in that direction, I turned and found a very blonde long-haired Bane at the shelf with his back turned.  I laughed in spite of myself.  I leaned my head back to very spellbound Sarah.  

On impulse I said, “Bane, can you join us for a second?”  Sarah gasped in horror.  This part was fun!  I wasn’t the only one bitten and smitten.

He turned toward me, bowed, and blushed.  I panicked reverting back to a Pike moment or two but was quickly doused in Relaxville when his eyes strayed to Sarah.  I heard a small gasp come from her again.  He moved slowly to us still holding the book he’d taken from the shelf.  The cover revealed “Dracula”, my book.  Hmm!

“That book is special to me.  Cherish it and take care.  Despair has its own calms.  He will lead you into paths of great despair.  I will give you great despair if you damage my favorite book.”

He was puzzled by my outburst.  He didn’t know me well.  I turned to Sarah to pulse the moment and found her face was as red as a beet.  

He looked to Sarah as if he were searching for help, but of course, they’d never even spoken and were both completely acting like they were in a staredown showdown.  

Lorah croaked out, “Awkward.”

“Ian gave that book to me.  I just couldn’t bear not to share it with everyone.”

He still hadn’t said a word. A severely deeper voice than I’ve possibly ever heard from him escaped his lips, “I will handle it carefully, my lady.”  

Gods, he looks so young for that voice.

He looked to Sarah and peeked at the book in her hand.  

Come on girl, that’s your cue.  Nothing!

I was going to have to play cupid here.  “We are reading a best advice for girls kind of book.  The kind that helps you figure men out more.”

Sarah blushed.  Bane was suddenly not so shy. “I hope it’s insightful.  I’d beg to know more about them myself.  Let me know what genius young Emma gives.”

He knew the book.  He was a reader.  Oh, Sarah. I didn’t want her to let him get away.

He bowed to each of us and said to leave, “Ladies.”  He turned to me, “My lady.”  He made to leave but his eyes traveled back to a staring suddenly mute love struck Sarah.

When he was out of sight, Sarah let out a long awaited breath and fell back in the chair.  “Girl, you’ve got it bad,” Lorah said simply laying it out on the table.

“Well, it’s nice to see I’m not the only one this court will talk about.  I’m going to get started on the rumor mill before the night is out.”  Sarah looked like death.  I laughed.  “I’ll cool it.  But if you don’t make a move soon, cupid girl will be moving in.”

We laughed, cried, and laughed more with the first four chapters after Sarah cooled off from her heated Bane visit.  Having the freedom to question and understand Ian more was a wow factor in this little powwow.  The girls were easy to talk to and vowed they would keep my secrets decidedly waiting to divulge too much information for fear of gossip.  They will have to earn my trust.  They have my novel minded think aloud factor, but I’ll guard my heart a little longer.  I did share with them their request for the whys on Ian’s little PDA episode this afternoon telling them a small tidbit just to see if it would make the circuit around the court reminding them not to tell.  I said that I’d expressed my concerns with Ian about not being able to feel close to him because of his fear that my virtue would be tainted.  I told them I recently asked him to give a little on that aspect allowing me some amount of affection when I wanted it. He just took that thought and ran with it all the way to China and back. They laughed and giggled in all the right ways.  

***

“And how was your night, my love,” he said into my hair holding his arm over my arm both of us lying sideways in the bed.  

“Perfect now.”

He chuckled making his chest vibrate against me.  Oh, how I love that.

I twisted and showed my bracelet to him angling so that the item Danella brought back to me was hanging in front of his eyes.  I turned myself to see that his eyes showed every bit of knowing.

“You kept it?”

“You didn’t know?”  I was surprised there was something he didn’t know about my past.

“No.  Where did you keep it?”

“In my jewelry box.  Safe and sound.”

“What made you keep something all the way back from second grade?”

I could say this now.  “Because I was caught in the Ian web way before I knew it myself.”

He smiled wide and pulled me close.  The little rose gold pendant now missing the chain and attached to my bracelet hung down.  It was too tiny for the link, but I didn’t care.  I was tenderly keeping it watched and secure for fear of losing it.  Somehow that fateful year the white elephant gift Ian brought for the holiday exchange ended up with me.

“I had a lot of fun at the book club.  I gave them one bit of gossip to see if they can be trusted.”

“Yeah!  And it was?”

“Why you pulled me into a tantalizing kiss for all to see.”

“Tantalizing, huh?”  His fingers popped in front of me setting a red rose, as well as a green intertwined together in front of my face.  

I elbowed him in the ribs and took my flowers.  

“Ow, woman.”

I turned over and tickled him in the ribs laying my mini bouquet down on the other pillow that never showed any use.  Bare-chested ribs with the very unique V that made a man’s hips stared me in the face.  He locked my arms behind my back now and forced my back to bow.   I was leaned against his front feeling every bit of the same feeling his eyes were telling me in the dark.  “Grace, I love you more than anything in this world, your world, our world.  I want to marry you tomorrow.”  His deep voice was saying something but the eyes were telling me everything else I wanted to hear.  

The reality of what he said hit me.  I couldn’t answer anything near as awesome as that to be called equal.  So…I kissed him.  We stopped ourselves very reluctantly and drifted off like last night in each other’s arms.

***

A few nights of that and I didn’t think I could stand the not married part.  That is extremely hard to resist.  He
was
extremely hard to resist.  Pike and Kin just don’t understand the connection we have.  They are unique in their own ways, but they’re just
not
Ian.  

Ian has been all smiles for two days also.  The court is starting to question our sudden all day happy selves.  Ian responded one time with dipping me in a long kiss repeat performance at the table.  The crowd cheered even louder.  He seemed to be on cloud nine.  I myself was sitting pretty at cloud one hundred and fifty.  

I kissed him and headed off to my book club after dinner.  We agreed to meet at the trampoline with both of us looking forward to another night together.  Neither one of us wanted to suggest going back to separate rooms and both knew we needed too.  The temptation was getting harder and we just simply avoided the topic of separating again.  I agreed with my devil Grace in everything she was using to suggest it was all okay, but angel Grace refused to stop reminding me that I should mention the idea of marriage sooner rather than later.  Devil Grace was winning so far but only because angel Grace was not going to do the proposing.

We were supposed to read the next four chapters and cover chapters five and six but a quote caught my eye in chapter seven that Sarah pointed out to look for.  

“I lay it down as a general rule that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.  If she can hesitate as to ‘Yes,’ she ought to say ‘No’ directly.”  This said loads to me because Pike fits that description completely.  Kin goes way beyond it.  And Ian…I’ve never hesitated.  Yet another soothing thought.

We laughed about Mr. Knightly and his abilities after sharing my thoughts about the quote’s validity leaving out Pike and Kin.  My greatest shock ever hit me when quiet Cyly said, “Isn’t Master Pike one of your exes?”

Ex?  “Um, never dated much and certainly not Pike.  He doesn’t know what he wants!”

Lorah spoke first, “We all thought....”

“Wrong!  Pike is hot, but he’s no Ian!”

Every girl laughed for a full minute.

We quoted Knightly and Emma in our favorite scenes.  I left the library in high spirits.  If I’d known what was about to happen to me, I’d never have left.  But then again, one doesn’t find answers sitting on their duff.

“Goodbye girls.  I’ll see you for chapters nine through twelve.”  We hugged.  Rion and Caymin were not standing outside the door, but I was just going to stop off at the garden and wait for Ian. On the way to the trampoline I stopped off to enjoy a sweet song from the water sprites in honor of Ian enticing so easily by simply saying his name.  Ian had arranged at some point that day for them to sing a little rhyme to me.

We have our prince, he is divine

He loves our queen, golden silk so fine

My master says to say to you

On your best or worst day, remember I love you.

They swam away and then back up to eye level with me. 

In a singsong voice, one of the sprites said, “My queen, you bless us with your ability to make Master Ian smile again.  For too long his royal handsome face has been so forlorn.  We are in your debt.”  They bowed with water bouncing off them and splashing me as sprites would do just to make sure they’re paid attention to and not ignored.  I took the courtesy of bowing to them and that earned major brownie points.  When I left, they sang my song again and again. 

I arrived at the trampoline before Ian and anticipated him getting there soon so I lay down on the top in wait with my own red rose hidden carefully behind my back.  I relived the day’s events in my head wanting to focus on the waking up part in Ian’s arms.  I felt the heavier of the charms, locket that Kin gave me fall unbalanced off the side of my wrist where I had it placed just yesterday and thud against the netting along with the rest.  Too heavy, it hurt my neck sometimes.  Too many charms now, it was weighing me down.  Something was going to have to go. 

The scents of the forest were all mixed into just that—the scents of the forest.  I closed my eyes feeling somewhat restful just to see the dull blackness within one’s own mind.  My mind wandered down paths of Ian and his new recruits.  Pike and his attempts to make me falter hoping I would sway his way played on the edge of my thoughts.  Kin and his invitation too.  I would like to go see his court but I think it best if I had more know how and partake in the Firebearer night first. 

Just as I decided to go find Ian, something grabbed my face.

I tried to think and yell in my mind for Pike at the same time.  It wasn’t working while being gagged by a huge warm man hand.  After being dragged off the netting and onto my heels farther than I care to remember, I was set right and turned to see my perpetrator. 
Correct, I was.  Kin!

“What do you think you are doing?” I was irate.  I was missing my time with Ian whom I hadn’t seen in a very long two hours.  And where were my guards?

“You called.”

“I most certainly did not.” 

“Did and now you’re here.  Are you ready to greet the King?”

NOW? 

“Now!” he answered my thoughts.  The dope had just been standing by waiting for a slip of the tongue.  He knew that’s not what I meant.  I looked down to see the pendant on the outside of my sleeve remembering it falling beside me.  It was gone now.  Where is it? All my charms. I looked to see if Kin was holding it. 
Nope!
“Do you have my bracelet?”

“No, my queen.  I shall not take anything of yours again without your permission.”

In indignation I came back with, “Oh, like you just took me!  I didn’t ask to come!  Why did you have to do this now?  Why am I not included in the asking process?”  I was trying not to be angry because I wanted this, just not right now and on my own terms.  The more I thought about it, though, those terms would have never been available where Pike and Ian were concerned.

“Yes, you did and you were.” 

“No, there was a but in that thought.”  Ian was going to have my hide, but I wasn’t sure Kin would cooperate with me if I said no.  “I was merely pondering events and yadda, yadda, yadda. Our last conversation didn’t include me saying you could just take me under the cover of night and scare the living daylights out of Ian.”  I know I should say no!  I wanted to scream at him.

“Well, your yadda is here with me now.  Are you ready?”

I looked down at myself.  I had on the green gown, not too formal.  My boots.  My hair was pinned up with strands hanging all around in the messy but meant to be style.  I guess I have to be ready.  I sure as heck didn’t think he’d take me at a later time that would better fit my schedule.

That is correct, my lady,
he leered. 

My!  Evil Kin doesn’t disappear completely, does he?
I looked down and sure enough found my bracelet pooled in a pile.

“Forgive me.  I didn’t mean to give that impression.  I mean only to give you everything your heart desires, my queen.”

Yeah, right.

“And you think you know what that is?  How dare you think you have any say so in my life!” I challenged.  I‘m truly tired of this selective reading thoughts thing.  Sometimes I hear them sometimes I don’t.  Sometimes they hear me, sometimes they don’t.

I know what I needed to work on most.  The dang emotion blocker.  The skills advanced, but not the control of how to deal with unwanted events, actions, words,
life
.  This life.  A Fey life.  A Fey queen's life.

“Maybe I don’t know everything in its entirety, but I intend to find out what your heart truly does desire.  And for future reference, you have full access to the lair as you call it, but I will not take no for an answer.  You will come with me tonight as I was only attempting to be polite before.”

I blocked heavily
.
No choice, huh?
Slight honesty was better than nothing.  Casework is casework.  A queen’s work is never done.  I’ll just save my mad fit for later.
I took his extended hand and followed him reluctantly into the night thinking last about my rose.  Ian would find it and hopefully my bracelet I left as a clue.

  We traveled back to the same destination as before stopping only once we were inside his lair.  He slid his belt off his pants as we walked in the door and I saw his hands reaching to his shirt.  He had the shirt halfway off his upper body when I squealed, “What are you doing?”

He stopped dead still and looked at me puzzled, “Changing.”

“Here,” I waved my arms feverishly around me.

He smiled his great ever so melt every girl in the room smile at me.  This girl had control.  I refused to look below his neck knowing I could see his pants riding low with the belt gone. 
You are doing this on purpose Kin and I’ll not have it.

“Why aren’t you tucking the pendant?  And where is the one I gave you?” he looked at my chest where the locket should be tucked snug.  While I rocked back and forth on my heels, I tried to think of a reasonable excuse but the half truth was going to have to work.  I forget for a moment it didn't drop along with the others.  I didn’t need his charm anymore and it was too heavy anyway.

Dang!
 

“Shall I or can I not keep the direct line open as I would like?  It saves time.” 

“But others will hear,” he stared blankly.

“No they won’t.  I won’t let them.”

He blinked once.  Twice.  “How?”

“They just can’t, Kin.  Now get on with your changing somewhere else.” I do have some control, I just have to remember to use it.

He still didn’t move.  “You will have it tucked when you enter my court.  No matter how powerful you are becoming, you’re no match for my father.”

“Done.”  I didn’t have
that
charm, but I didn’t need to tell him that.

He turned to go but I stuck my arm on his and held on.  He half turned and watched my hand on him.  His eyes did a funny thing and I let go fast.  He breathed in like I was sending off a scent of well…I don’t know.

“I want to ask you something?”

“Ask away?” he breathed again with his eyes becoming less blue and more of a dark stormy sky look as I took a step back.

“What reassurances can I give to the Nyms to ease their pain for the fallible ties to our ancestry?”

“Well, diplomatic Grace comes forward.  Ian was right.” 

“What about?” I was interested in anything Kin and Ian would have shared together concerning me.

“You will make a great queen for the PR of our courts and outlying areas.”

Wow!
  “Not that I’m not still pondering if and when the two of you found time to discuss something and be nonvolatile enough to have a civilized conversation about me but, thank you.”  He didn’t give me any clues or answers so I continued, “And back to my question.”

He smiled, “We will see what we can do.”  And like that, he wanted the subject dropped. 

Well, alrighty then.  Fine!  Moving on. “Answer the question.”

“Demanding.  You know what that does to me?”

“On with it.”

“The other parties...elves, dwarves, etcetera are appeased enough to stay on their own territories if no threat is present.  They prefer to stay secluded.  You convinced them the other night you are not like Lazyra as I hoped.  The Nyms are easily appeased by simply leaving them alone.  History cannot mend so easily.  Leave them alone.  That will speak volumes.”

“And you being so forthcoming is for what gains?”

Isn’t it obvious?
  He looked me up and down.  TWICE!

Ignoring the ingenious amount of ways I seem to walk right into these men’s snares, I ventured on.  “Is coach from the court?”

Mock shock. “He acts coy all of the sudden,” I smiled feeling good about my discovery.

“You are a clever one.”

“It doesn’t take a genius who has entered the courts and retained their memory to figure out when someone uses the word human in such a way that it sends a red flag of other worldliness.”

He turned and walked me to his room.  “Do you have your key?”  He didn’t answer me yet.

He remembered I had the key and kept it.  I reached my dress up to my thigh and pulled it carefully out of the slip line I was required to wear with such thin dresses.  He watched of course as his eyes said a lot.  I found this scary enough I wouldn’t do it again in his presence.

“Well?”

“Yes, that was my father checking up on you.”

The Unseelie court king was checking up on me.  And it was coach.  “Has he been coach all this time?”

“Good girl on figuring that out and on your key.  If you ever need it, there is a back entrance that key works on.  I will leave you now.  Your gown was retrieved by the way, not the nicest way to return it though.  But I took the liberty of having another made.  I hope you like it.  You will have two ladies to help you.  They have been spelled by me to follow your every wish.  The spell will be broken in two hours time.  I can assure your safety till then.  No harm by them.  Do you require more than?”

Gosh, no!  “No, that is plenty of time.  How did you get the dress back from Ian?”  I had to know. 

He didn’t answer in any way.  Hmm! 

He bowed and left me still taking his clothes off.  I noted his full lips, even white teeth, and sturdy neck walking away from me wondering why all Fey were so beautiful. 

Pendant! 

Oh! 
I shut the door with a slam.  My head zapped instantly.  I had that part figured out though.  Zaps were shut offs.  Or ins.  He was blocking me out from something.  Detective Grace was getting tips from Watson and paying a little more attention.  I just needed to up the ante a little more.

I asked the ladies for writing materials and set out to make amends with the Nyms first.  After twenty good minutes of checking and rechecking the way I worded the message saying that our court would leave the Nyms to their lands and not disturb them without being messaged first, I was ready to change and get on with it.

I was ready in record time with the two ladies who didn’t stop to chit chat like Danella and Tren did.  I only recently had Tren back.  She was reassigned to me since my recent move to another room at night and had the added duties of curtiously cleaning my parents house.  Ian took extra precautions to preserve my virtue.  Tren was to station herself mid court to head off any intrusions.  He only convinced Danella of our chastity by allowing her full access to my mind during the night.  I felt this was a bit extreme, but it kept us honest. 
Eww!
She was like my grandmother after all.

These two Nym ladies were agile and fast.  I found that the plump one had round eyes that were very dark and rich, like two centers of a sunflower on her face and this didn’t make her sound very becoming.  She wasn’t!

When I emerged, Kin was decked out in what I could only assume was his court’s colors.  Gold!  Gold!  And more gold!
Myself included.
 

At least I had more of it this time.  It was modest, but slimming.  Covered all parts, but hugging and a combination of elegant, but rugged for travel.   It was much like my green traveling attire of the summer court.  No heels, but boots and no headdress.