Tainted Grace (14 page)

“Fuck if I know,” grumbled Gus. “But I want my gun.”

“Something’s wrong,” I whispered.
When we fell asleep there were dim lights on in the hallway. Now it was dark aside from muted orange flashing lights that I assumed were for emergency lighting.

“Can’t we just sleep for one night without a crisis?” moaned Emilie, irritated.

My hip was starting to ache. At first I thought it was from lying on my side too long, but before long the familiar buzz in my head began. Along with it came a wave of nausea.

“There’s a Runner here,” I said.

“Zoe do you know where?” asked Gus.

I shook my head, even though I knew it was too dark for anyone to see the gesture. “I see a hallway, but I’m not sure where.
There’s a few red lights flashing, otherwise it’s dark. I think it’s just the one. It’s angry. So angry.”

Commotion was beginning in the hallway outside of our cramped room.

“I’ll be right back,” said Gus.

“No, Gus, no!” said Emilie.
Her voice was pleading.

“It’s ok Em, it’s not that close,” I said, referencing the proximity of the creature.

I heard Gus fumble with the door knob, followed by a slight metallic squeal as he opened it. Next came footfalls running down the hall. The beam from a flashlight lit our room.

“Stay inside,” said an unfamiliar male voice.
There’s one inside and we can’t risk shooting other humans that are running around.”

“Need help?” was all Gus asked.

“No, we got it. Close your door and lock it.”

Gus did as instructed, but I could tell by the little grunt he made he wasn’t happy about it.
Jane had wrapped both arms around me, and I took comfort in her touch.

“There are a couple of men with guns standing in front of it.
I can see them through its eyes, but its vision is kind of foggy. I think one of the men is the guy who checked us in. Sasha? He’s aiming a rifle at it.” I waited for the sound of gunfire to echo through the concrete building. It wasn’t happening. “What the heck?”

“What is it?” asked Emilie.

“He’s still aiming at it but the other guy is walking toward it, keeping it back with a baseball bat. It wants to kill them both but is also afraid of them. I’m not really sure what the deal is. The other guy, the one with the bat, grabbed a chain. Oh God,” I moaned. “There’s a chain around its neck!”

“Zoe, what do you mean?” asked Boggs.

I watched through the creature’s eyes as it stepped toward the man who had grabbed at its chain. It reached its arms out in an attempt to get to the man, who held it back with the end of the baseball bat. Its arms ended in two stumps, missing hands. The skin of its forearms was gray and wrinkled, dried and aged. I listened inside my head, the moans from the creature not quite like what we’d heard before. Muffled. I caught a glimpse of the creature’s face as the man holding the chain approached it. The glow from the flashlight was enough for me to see the creature’s image as it stared at the man, who wore a helmet with a plastic face shield. The creature saw its own reflection, and through its eyes I saw the same. Its lower jaw was missing. It had no teeth. No tongue. Bone, muscle, and flesh mixed with clumps of dried blood in a gnarled mess that extended down to expose a ripped opened windpipe.

“Zoe?” asked Gus more sternly.
“Talk to us, darlin’.”

I was overcome by emotion.
The zombie on the chain was saddened by its own image and that sadness flowed through me. “They hurt it,” I said in a low voice, tears streaming down my face. Both men now each held a chain, keeping the monster from moving toward either of them. “They took its hands, and half its face,” I sobbed. “They’re keeping it here and it hates them.” The men led the zombie through a heavy door. The creature looked down a dimly lit set of stairs and dread echoed in my mind. It didn’t want to go down the stairs. Once the door shut, my mind was free of the mutilated corpse, its visions, and its rudimentary thoughts and emotions.

I forced myself to take several deep breaths.
“They’re keeping it underground,” I said. “They’re hurting it down there.” I climbed down from the bunk and sat on the edge of one of the bunk beds.

“Zoe what do you mean?” asked Boggs, who was now sitting beside me and holding my hand.

“They took the lower half of its head off,” I said. “And its hands.” I wiped a tear away. “I hate these creatures, don’t get me wrong, but it was…sad. It was scared to go back downstairs.”

Gus sighed deeply.
“If they took its mouth and hands it must be to prevent bites or scratches. But why would they keep one?”

Susan cleared her throat.
“Maybe they’re experimenting? Trying to find a cure?”

“Likely,” said Gus.
“But why keep it secret? I think we have a right to know.”

“Agreed,” answered Boggs.

“Zoe do you sense any more of them?”

“No.
Once they shut the door to go down the stairs my mind was clear.”

“Let’s try to sleep, then.
We’ll ask someone tomorrow what the alarms were about. Beyond that we’d be giving them too much information about Zoe, if you know what I mean,” said Gus.

Emilie sighed.
“I still have a bad feeling about this place,” she said. “This just makes it worse.”

“I feel like we’re stuck, Red,” said Gus.
“We have no possessions. They have our guns. All we had is gone.”

“I know,” she said.
“I’m just worried. It’s just a reminder of how fragile we all are.”

“It’s a fucked up world, Red.”
Gus proceeded to reach out and pull Em down onto his lap. “But I promise we’ll all do our best to take care of each other. Of that I have no doubt.”

“I want to leave this place,” said a small voice.
Jane had crawled into the upper bunk with Abbey. That was all she said.

We let the two younger girls sleep together.
Kelsey climbed into the bunk I had shared with Jane, and I joined her for warmth. I lay awake for some time after that until my mind shut off enough for sleep to claim its hold over me again.

I woke during the night feeling sick. It was different than my typical morning sickness. My throat was dry, my head hurt, and my joints all ached. Our room was still dark and I didn’t hear anything aside from the breathing of my friends. I desperately needed water, so I climbed down the flimsy metal ladder until my bare feet found the cold concrete floor. Gus’ warnings to not leave the room without a companion were far from my mind, which was filled with a haze of sorts. I felt my way along the edge of Gus and Emilie’s bed and let my eyes adjust to the faint light that shone into our room from the hallway.

I finally found the doorknob and as I opened the door I heard Susan snoring softly.
I slipped into the hallway, which felt even colder than our room. A shiver ran up my spine and my head spun. I rubbed my eyes, which were unusually dry, and quickened my pace. My goal was the common bathroom in which we had showered when we first arrived. The hallway felt different in the dim nighttime lighting than it had my first trip through. Time seemed suspended as I made my way forward. I could see the swinging doors to the shower room not all that far away.

“Zoe.”

I heard my name, but it seemed garbled. I wasn’t even sure where it had come from.

“Zoe, stop.”

I turned around and saw a figure approaching me.

“Gus?” I called out as he came into clearer view.

“Zoe, whatcha doing darlin’?”

“I woke up feeling sick,” I said quietly.
“I need water.”

“Ok, but let me come with you.”

He put an arm around me and gave me a quick squeeze. We walked side by side to the shower room. We had gone to bed early for the night, and by now it must have been past midnight. We didn’t see anyone else milling around. Once we got to the restroom, Gus held the door open for me and waited for me to walk through.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

I walked into the cold, damp room. My core seemed to adjust instantly and I began shivering.

“There aren’t any drinking glasses, Zoe.
Do you just want to drink from the tap?”

I nodded.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”

I walked to the row of white sinks and stopped at the nearest.
Gus had followed me and opened the faucet while I held my hands under, forming a makeshift bowl.

“Zoe, do you want me to wake someone?
Nadine mentioned a clinic. We could get you checked out.”

I shook my head no, and continued to drink the cold water for several seconds before speaking.
“I don’t want to go there.”

“I can come with.”

“Something feels wrong, Gus. I don’t like it here.”

Gus sighed deeply.
“I know, darlin’, either do I. But it’s all we have right now.”

I nodded and continued drinking.
My head was already clearing.

“Feeling any better?” Gus asked me.
I could tell he was really worried.

“Actually, I am,” I said in honesty.
“Maybe it was just all the upset from earlier in the night,” I suggested. “Sometimes I get kind of funny feeling after they’ve been in my head.”

“You might be dehydrated, too,” he said.
“I wish you’d let me try to get you into the clinic. We wouldn’t have to mention the baby.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

“Fair enough.”

“Gus, do you smell that?” I asked.

“Smell what?”

“Rust?”

“Nope. But your sense of smell might be a lot more acute than mine. It’s common in pregnancy.”

I stood.
I’m not sure why I decided to walk to the showers. My mind was clear of intrusive thoughts and images of other beings. But the smell, and an unknown force, drove me to walk.

“Zoe?
Where ya going, darlin’?”

I ignored Gus and instead continued to the dark corner that held the circular showers.

“Gus?” I moaned as I looked down at the tiles. Blood covered a large area and pooled around the drain. “Gus…”

“I’m here Zoe.
I see it,” he said softly from right behind me.

I felt his hands on my shoulders and reached up to touch them.
We stood there together, looking at multiple arms and legs and pieces of flesh that were piled into a heap. I wanted to vomit, but sadness overwhelmed me and instead I started to cry. Gus stepped forward to the edge of the pile, avoiding stepping in the blood.

“Shit,” he whispered.
“Fucking shit.”

“Who are they, Gus?” I managed to choke out.

“It’s hard to say, Zoe. I doubt we were meant to see this, though. I think we should leave, and keep quiet about it.”

I wiped my face with my sleeve.
“That’s the smell,” was all I could manage to say.

“I smell it now too, Zoe.
Blood. Let’s get out of here.”

He took my hand.

“We need to hide,” I whispered suddenly and with urgency. I pulled Gus toward the back section of the locker room that housed a cubicle with a tattered curtain.

Gus joined me without questioning what I had said.
We settled on an old bench seat together, and drew our feet up as we heard the doors open. Gus held a finger to his lips and I nodded. My head filled with the familiar buzz of the dead. I clenched my eyes closed and held my breath as I smelled rotten flesh mix with the scent of fresh blood. The clinking of chains rattling chilled me to the core. I felt Gus’ arms encircle me tightly as he pulled me onto his lap. I didn’t dare open my eyes but could already see the pile of limbs and flesh through the creature’s eyes. I knew from my mind that there were at least three or four of them, but I only saw through the eyes of whichever was dominant. As it whipped around, I saw the men who accompanied it. I could hear them laughing, but now I could see them laughing. It infuriated me. The creature looked down at the chain that bound it. The man holding onto the metal tether poked it with a stick. Fear filled my head. Loathing. Hunger. The smell of fresh flesh, not alive but fresh. The creature looked back to the bloody pile and staggered toward it. The other zombies were already upon the pile, feasting sloppily. They had no hands, like the one I had seen earlier in the night, but these ones still had intact faces. They tore at the flesh and bone with their teeth. I wanted to vomit.

“Shhhh, Zoe, Shhhh,” whispered Gus next to my ear as quietly as he dared.
“Easy, darlin’.”

I hadn’t been aware that I was struggling in his arms. I tried to slow my breathing as he caressed my hair to soothe me.
I cringed as I heard bone crunching and the monsters growling at each other, snorting, and grunting like wild animals. I gripped hard at the arm Gus had wrapped around me.

“Gus,” I whispered.
“There’s four of them. They’re eating the pile.”

He continued to smooth my hair.
“I know, darlin’, I know. Stay quiet.”

I nodded my head in reply.
The satisfaction over the meal emanating from the monsters disgusted me. Not because they were experiencing joy over the human scraps, but because I felt their joy. Because I wanted to feel their joy. The men watching them feast were laughing quietly and whispering. I found myself suddenly wanting to rip at the flesh with my own teeth. I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn’t truly my own desire. The pile of arms and legs was shrinking as they consumed it. The horrible sounds of the sloppy eating were beginning to ebb. I fought to stay quiet. Part of me wanted to run from the room, the other part wanted to join in the banquet. I clenched my teeth together hard, not wanting to bite Gus’ arm as I had done to Boggs’ neck. Bits of hushed conversation burned my ears.

Kids heal quickly.
The men will work best as fighters. Kelly said the short one’s knocked up. No, Doc Abrams will let her go to term and tell her it died. (laughing) The fuckers will love a LIVE meal even if it’s small! (laughing) If I have any say the gorgeous brunette will keep her legs. I can screw her without arms but mmmm gotta love holding legs up and fucking a bitch hard. No, they have no clue what we’re doing here. Most of them will be dead soon anyway.

Before long I realized that Gus had turned me to face him, and was holding me firmly against his chest.
His arms were strong and holding me down, uncomfortably so, as if I were being squeezed by a vice. He smelled of wood and soap. Breathing was becoming difficult. As if sensing this, he loosened his grip enough for me to look up into his eyes. He kept his gaze focused on me, as if offering some sort of silent warning. I was sitting on his lap, trembling. His eyes were the only thing keeping me from cracking. I was sure of that, and so continued to focus as much of my being as I could into his eyes. I found myself suddenly unable to hear the sloppy feast, or the laughing of the men, or the crunching of bone, or the beating of my own heart. Everything in my peripheral vision went dark, and all I could see was Gus’ face. I wanted to scream.

Slowly, my mind began to clear.
Slowly, Gus’ grip on me relaxed. Slowly, I realized it was again just me and Gus in the shower room. We continued to look at each other for a long moment. As the realization came to me that we had just survived an event that could have led to certain disaster, I began to hear the words he was whispering.

“Zoe, they’re gone.”

I blinked a few times, hearing but not comprehending.

“Zoe…”

Gus shook my shoulders gently.

“Zoe, they’re gone darlin’.
But we need to get you cleaned up.”

I looked at him, not understanding.
“What do you mean?”

“Zoe, hun, you wet your pants.”

I looked at him in horror, and then looked down at his lap.

I could feel myself turning seven shades of red.

“Don’t worry, Zoe. Just be glad it’s all over, darlin.’ Stand up and let’s get your pants off.”

I stood, shakily, while he pulled my sweat pants down.
I was too exhausted to worry about modesty.

“Gus, we can’t use the showers,” I whispered.
I was still afraid that using a normal volume of voice would draw attention.

“Let’s not worry about washing, Zoe,” he said.
Gus looked as exhausted as I felt. He stood and slipped his own jeans off. I turned my eyes away, catching only a glimpse of his privates. I was sure I was still blushing. “Here,” he said, holding a towel out for me.

I took it thankfully and wrapped myself from the waist down.
He did the same with his own towel and scooped up our dirty clothes.

“Let’s get back to the room and figure out what to do.”

I nodded and wiped my eyes. “’Kay.”

We walked together, hand-in-hand, down the dark corridor back to the room which we had been assigned.

I found a spare pair of underpants in the dresser drawer I had claimed, and Gus did the same.

“Where were you guys?” mumbled Emilie.

“We’ll talk about it soon,” said Gus.

“Gus?” What’s going on man?” asked Boggs, waking up.

“Nate, wake up,” I heard Susan grumble.

“Stay quiet everyone,” said Gus in his authoritative voice.
“It’s not good and I don’t want to discuss it in front of the kids.”

“Gus, I can take them across the hall while you fill everyone in,” I said.

“Not a chance, Zoe,” he replied. “No way are any of us splitting up.”

Nathan and Gus were both standing now.

“What’s going on Kelsey?” I heard Abbey ask sleepily.

“Shhhh, Abs, don’t wake Jane.
Go back to sleep, ok Little Sister?”

“Ok,” said the girl groggily.

“Ok, Gus, Zoe, what the fuck is going on?” asked Nathan.

“We need to get out of here,” I said.
“Now.”

“Gus?” asked Nathan.
“Explain?”

“Long story short…they’re keeping Runners here and feeding them.
Human parts.”

“It was horrible,” I said.
“Arms, legs, body parts.” I closed my eyes, not wanting to recall the horror.

“Do y’all remember the teenage girls who served us yesterday at supper?” asked Gus.

“Yeah, one was missing an arm,” said Emilie. Her voice trailed off when she made the connection.

“I also noticed a man in the hallway when we came in, wearing a prosthetic leg.
Maddie told us there’s a population of forty-something here. I’ve seen twenty-something tops,” said Gus. “Where are the rest?”

“There was a boy in the playroom missing both his legs,” said Abbey, just above a whisper, from her top bunk.
“He still had bandages on.”

“Abbey?” asked Kelsey.
“Did you ask him what happened?”

“No,” she answered.
“One of the other little kids said he doesn’t talk.”

I took a deep breath.

“It all adds up,” said Nathan. “We were also told to not go to the clinic or research areas without permission.”