Tainted Love (Book 1) (20 page)

“I do?” He looks at me and his features have softened with relief. “Sullivan,” he sighs, embracing me.

“Shh,” I find myself lulling him, what he would usually do to me. I cup his face with my hands and I gently kiss his lips.

Soon, we’re locked into a passionate stroke of tongues. Our hands glide reverently over each other’s body. And just like that, we are lost in each other. Devouring each other on the floor of my bedroom as Rachel sleeps, unawares, in my bed.

Waking up the next morning alongside Ben melt
s my heart. He looks so saintly as he sleeps. I watch him, enjoying the view. He is only in boxers and looks simply alluring. A deep hunger curls in my belly and in that instant, I need to feel him inside me.

I look up to see that Rachel is no longer on the bed and I mount him, trailing kisses on his naked torso.

“Mmm,” he mumbles, twisting his hips and gripping my explorative hands. “Aren’t you the little sex kitten this morning?” He smiles sexily at me.

“I woke up to a god and I felt like I should worship him with my body,” I note, placing gentle kisses on his neck.

“Ahh,” he moans quietly. “Waking up to you definitely has its rewards.”

“Mm, yes it does,” I mumble, nuzzling his neck.

In an ardent move, Ben flips me onto my back and towers over me. He slips my underwear off and begins to massage my clit. Slipping a finger deep inside me, my soft core quivers around his finger. I keen at the feel of his finger sinking deep, yearning for something bigger. I need to feel his cock inside me; throbbing, pounding, taking what it wants. His light, sensuous teasing is driving me insane. I try to pry his hand away from my tender sex, but he just won’t budge.

“You are so wet. Are you always
so ready?” he coos in my ear as he crushes his finger deeper inside me.

“Only…for you,” I pant, writhing under his coaxing.

“Oh, Sullivan,” he whispers in a rush, taking my lips, bruising them with a fevered kiss.

I slink my arms around him, pulling his hair, e
gging him deeper into the kiss. He presses his erection against me which is thick and throbbing almost to the point of detonation.

“Ben, I want you,” I whimper.

“Soon, baby. I have to get you loose and ready for me,” Ben utters huskily as he sinks another finger into me.

“I’m ready,” I cry. “Please, I’m ready.”

He chuckles and presses his lips to my temple. “I’m going to make you come like this,” he tells me. “Do you want to come like this?”

“No,” I gripe, still squirming from his ministrations.

“What do you want? How do you want to come?” he urges, thrusting his fingers deeper, hitting my sweet spot.

“I want you…inside,” I breathe, my hands fisting in his hair.

“Not yet.” He drags his fingers from me and slaps my swollen core lightly.

I cry out
and flinch, loving what I’d felt.

“Again?” he asks, rubbing hard on my aching opening.

“Ben…” I mewl, trying to shove away from him.

He slaps me again, hitting my hypersensitive clit, quieting me. My back arches and I crash
back with an ecstatic moan.

Ben shoves inside me once more and crooks his fingers, bidding me to come.

“Ahh,” I bellow, my voice deep and hoarse as I come rowdily, my juices shooting onto his arm.

Ben inhales sharply, pulls me closer to him and takes his boxers off. His body is scorching with passion and need for me. He is contemplating me with wild, dilated eyes.

“You…squirt?” Ben growls, his breathing quickened. “God, that is so hot.”

Ben roughly spreads my legs and lunges balls deep into me. My body is still undulating from my earlier climax and I hold onto him to find some semblance of calm. But that’s only wishful thinking. I cry out in pleasure as he fills me and grinds against my sweet spot. My core, already sensitive from my earlier orgasm, is achingly more
demanding as he grates against the walls of my pussy, frying my every synapse. This is what I’ve wanted. I’ve wanted him to claim me.

Ben fucks me, until I am weak, raspy, and sweaty. He fucks me, making me forget everything about yesterday; as if last night’s exertions weren’t enough. Usually, I’m a fighter. I never back down from a stiff cock, but today…I have to beg him to stop. I can’t handle the onslaught of pleasure. I am too sensitive. To
o sore. Too satisfied. He’s over-fucked me.
Well, I’ll be goddamned…

Ben pulls out of me –
with a reluctant groan – and begins to jerk his cock while I suck his nipples. Even as I help him pleasure himself – which is the hottest and most erotic thing to witness – my pussy still vibrates with sweet sensations. I can almost hear the Beach Boys singing about good vibrations. Yes…these are my
good
vibrations.

Ben comes with a thrash and he mashes my body to his as his release spurts everywhere and finally runs down his hand to his stomach.

“Lick it clean,” he urges, goading my head downward. I am more than happy to comply.

I swirl my tongue around the tip and feel his hips jerk, his body recoiling. Dipping down on the bulbous tip, I suck him hard, cleaning the tip with my tongue. I guess he can’t take much more; he flashes me away, gasping and rubbing his cock head.

Ben turns me to face him and he kisses me softly, too soft. He seems to be savoring me and that makes me…feel.

My chest lifts then falls as I sigh contentedly. Right here. Right now. I am at peace. Happy.

“I should tell you about last night,” Ben says softly when we both come down from our high. We are now in bed, wrapped around each other.

“No, don’t. It’s ok,” I protest, not wanting to drudge up memories of last night. “You don’t have to explain anything. You don’t need to.”

“Shut…up, Sullivan,” he exhales. “I want to explain.”

I nod in surrender and steel myself for what I am about to hear. I don’t want to explore my jealousy over him and that is exactly what his telling me about last night will do.

“Last night, when I came over, I had to change a flight I had just to be with you.”

I gape at him. Why would he do that? I hadn’t wanted him to shift everything
around in his life for me when I’d decided that I wanted to do this.

“I did that because
you wanted to see me,” he answers my unasked question. “Besides, I couldn’t leave things the way they were yesterday. More than that, I wanted to be with you.”

I swallow hard, surprise still etched on my face. I can’t
get a word in edgewise. He
wanted
to see me. How should I react to that?

“After I apologized to the staff,” he pauses at my sudden and soft hiss of breath. “Yes, I listened to you.”

I flush at the sentiment and a warm, fuzzy feeling flows through me.

“My secretary reminded me that I had a flight that night. I go to this thing every year and this was the first time I’d forgotten, and it was also the first time I’d ever
not
wanted to go. So, I switched some stuff up and decided I’d either take a later flight, or leave the next morning,” he explains. I’m trying very hard not to blush. Thank God for the black in me, or else I’d be puce right now.

“When I got that call last night,” he continues. “It was to tell me that I had to be at the airport in an hour for my rescheduled flight. At that point, I didn’t want to go. Sullivan, I couldn’t go.”

My mouth falls open again, nothing coming out. Quickly recovering, I square my shoulders and ask, “Who was it that called Ben? Why’d you have to whisper?”

“It
was
a woman who called me,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead. “An ex. She and I…we have sex occasionally, especially when I have trips out of town,” Ben reveals.

I try, b
ut I can’t help scowling. Who is this bitch? No, I can’t let him think I’m jealous.
But, I am
! No. I have to shake that shit off.

“When was the last time?” I inquire. Do I really want to know?

“The day after you and I met,” he answers. Somehow it is a relief to hear; a little hypocritical since I had slept with someone the very night Ben and I slept together.

“When I started whispering,
” Ben continues, “she was asking about the hotel; if we should have separate rooms or stay in the same suite this time. I was telling her that we had to talk. That’s when you threw my shirt at me.” Ben exhales in a rush.

I rest my hand on his. I have to say my piece. “Ben, I don’t want you to give up what you’re used to for me. I’m not worth it.” The words sound wrong to my own ears
, but I have to surge ahead.

Before I can say anything further, Ben interjects, “I beg to differ, Sullivan.”

I hold my hand up to silence him. “Let me continue. I might not think I’m worth it, but I appreciate you doing it,” I say, trying to mask a smile.

It fe
els good to know that he did that for me, but things like that makes it hard for me to stick by a decision to remain friends with benefits. Ben making me feel this way makes me want things, unrealistic things, like wanting to be his girlfriend, though I know I’d only end up hurting him.

“I know men like you love their order and their routine,” I continue, “and for you to disrupt all that for me…I’m flattered actually.”

“I just wish you could see how worth it you really are,” Ben says, running his hand down my cheek.

“Character flaw,” I respond, shrugging my shoulders at my obvious lack of esteem.

“I have a hard time believing you have any.”

“Trust me, I’ve got plenty,” I mutter.

“Come with me and tell me all about them,” he requests.

“What?” I snort.

“My business trip. Come with me. It’s a three day conference. You could stay in the suite or do whatever you want during the day, and then when I get back, we could work on dispelling those pesky character flaws of yours,” he suggests, cupping my chin and running a finger along my bottom lip.

My eyes light up and I can’t help but grin. How can I turn down an offer like that? I’m not enthusiastic about talking about myself, but it is the least I can do since he is willing to give up something – or someone, rather – he was used to, for me. I’m not all that special. Why does he want to be with me so much?

I chastise myself inwardly for thinking so lowly of myself; which has always been a problem for me. I could never see what people saw in me. All I could see and dwell on was how fucked up I really was under all my curves, full breasts, eyes, lips, and beautiful face.

“We’d use the company jet and fly to New York.” He stretches for his cell phone, looking at the time. “Almost seven,” he acknowledges.

“New York?” My voice is soft.
Oh no.
Why did his conference have to be in New York? I can’t go. I have to turn him down. “I can’t, Ben.”

“Nonsense,” he protests. “You’re coming.”

“Ben,” I sigh. What will my excuse be this time? “My classes start next week. I’m an honors candidate and I’ve got to sort everything out for Monday: classes, my independent study, my research paper, my tuition. I can’t lapse on any of that.” Well, it
is
sorta true.

He sighs frustratingly, gripping the bridge of his nose, but not saying a word.

“If I hadn’t have been so consumed by you the past two days, I would’ve been able to take care of all of that and there would be no problem for me to go with you today.” I am milking this excuse for everything it has, trying for guilt. The only thing that I have to worry about for school is tuition really, but he doesn’t have to know that. All that matters is that I can’t be in New York. Ever.

Ben grunts and I know he’s disappointed. I can’t imagine why though.

“Honors student, huh? You’ve impressed me yet again. How am I going to handle three days without you?” He scoots closer to me so that his forehead presses against mine.

The proximity and unexpected action takes my breath away. He cups the back of my head, squeezing me to him.
This
is intense Ben and my heart pounds with the manifestation. If he looks deep enough, he’ll know how much he has me. I can’t let him know. I can’t afford to fall for him.