Take it All (Blinded by Love) (25 page)

What she did want was to be with someone who would give her what she needed; time and a shoulder to cry on with no questions asked. She knew who would give her just that and he was sitting next to her, looking over at her every couple minutes to make sure she was okay and not physically hurt.

Her throat raw and sore, and her eyes itchy and dry from crying, she looked at Raine and asked in a raspy low voice, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

Raine looked at her and nodded his head once before reaching over and covering her hand with his, squeezing it gently. She looked at him a second longer before turning her head away and looking back into the dark nothing as they headed down the empty highway to the one place she never expected to be staying tonight.

Lennox woke the next morning at Raine’s house in his room, and in his bed. She spent the night tossing and turning; the scene in Caleb’s room and at the car before she took off played on a continuous loop that ate away at her mind, resulting in a night of no sleep. Her night was supposed to be spent with Caleb, making love, after she told him she was head over heels in love with him and then end with them falling asleep in each other’s embrace; not taking off then ending up in another’s guys bed, even if it was one of her close friends.

She rolled over in Raine’s king sized bed, the one he had very generously offered her while he took the couch, and looked around his room. It was smaller and plain, no color or pictures on the wall, just a dresser in the corner with a flat screen on the wall above it. The window was open as the sounds of birds chirping came in with the soft glow of the morning light, its rays shining across the bed and ultimately waking her.

When they got back to Raine’s last night he didn’t press her for anything as to what happened with Caleb. He let her shower then gave her a pair of his workout shorts and a tee before she climbed into bed to try and sleep but not before he asked if she needed anything and if she was okay; at both she responded with a no then rolled over and pretended to sleep.

Lennox lifted her head up and looked around his room for a clock to check the time and found red numbers displaying ten o’ clock on his satellite box. She did a double take to make sure she saw right before she tossed the covers back and climbed out of bed. She looked around for her purse but only found a pile of her clothing on the floor then remembered her purse, along with her overnight bag, was still in the back of Caleb’s car and that she had left his place with only her cell phone and coat. Sighing, she decided not to change and left his room and made her way out into the small hallway following the sound of dishes clanking. Off to her right she found herself in a small kitchen looking at the back of a shirtless Raine wearing only a pair of jeans that hung off his hips low; low enough to see the band of his briefs and she couldn’t stop her mind from momentarily wondering if he had the V shaped indents sticking out from the top of them.

As if he was able to hear her thoughts, he turned around and faced her, her question instantly answered as her eyes dropped down over his wide, well built chest, to his toned and well defined stomach right to the V indents sticking out of his jeans that were hanging low due to the popped button.

“Morning, Cupcake,” he said, grinning at her as her eyes shot up to his as her face burned with embarrassment, “sleep alright?”

Clearing her throat, she said, “Morning.” She shook her head as she headed over the end of the counter where two stools were sitting and took up space on one, “No, not really, how about you?”

“Eventually,” he ran his hand through his hair, “I mean, after I got off the phone with a pissed off Courtney,” he said, with a small laugh.

“Oh, God, Raine, I’m so sorry,” she said apologetically, as she gathered her hair in both her hands and put it up in a messy bun on the top of her head, “I shouldn’t have called you knowing she was already upset about our relationship.”

“Screw that, if she can’t deal with the fact my friend needed me then she ain’t for me. Easy as that,” he said, shrugging his shoulder as he turned and grabbed two coffee cups from the cupboard. “Coffee?”

“Please,” she said, propping her elbow up on the counter and resting her chin on her palm. “But still, I’m sorry I caused you drama last night, just... didn’t know anyone who would give me what I needed, no questions asked, other than you.”

Raine looked at her as he poured coffee into one of the mugs, “I know, it’s okay.” His attention went back to the cups as he held the pot over the other cup and poured, “Were you able to clear your mind and figure things out?”

“Yeah, kinda, at least I think so,” she said, her arm falling and resting in her lap, her hands fidgeting.

“You don’t sound so sure about it,” he said, placing a coffee mug in front of her. “Do you take milk and sugar?”

“Yeah, please.” She put the cup between her hands to warm them up from the chill they felt. She watched Raine walk over to the fridge and pull it open, before she began. “Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who lied to you? I mean not an allergy lie where they say their allergic to peanuts and you find out they just don’t like them, I mean bigger than that.”

“I was with a girl who told me she lived in Ireland for a year but later I found out she really didn’t, does that count?” he asked, handing her the milk and sugar.

Lennox rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Not really, no.” She poured a splash of milk in her cup then dumped three spoonfuls of sugar in and stirred it.

“Damn, want some coffee with your sugar there Cupcake,” he joked, sipping from his mug.

“What, I like it sweet,” she shrugged her shoulders as she lifted her cup to her lips and took a drink.

“So, what happened with Caleb, maybe I can help you out in some way.”

“It was something we briefly talked about back on Valentine’s Day, and I asked him flat out and he told me no and then last night,” she trailed off, taking a sip of her coffee, “last night I find out he lied. I don’t wanna say what it is, so I hope you can understand that but it’s something big, at least to me anyways.”

“Okay, I can understand that. How does what he lied about make you feel then?” he asked, placing his cup on the counter then leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Lennox thought about what he asked, as she lifted her cup to her lips taking a long sip before placing it back down between both hands. “Honestly?”

“Well, I’d like to hope you’d always be honest with me.”

“I’m more upset with him lying to me, I mean don’t think I’m not upset about what the lie was about, because I am. I’m in shock and don’t know what to think. It’s just completely idiotic because... I would have thought a switch would have flipped and made me want nothing to do with him and change how I feel about him, but it didn’t.” She looked up at him with a small, weak smile as she shrugged one shoulder.

“Well that’s something, isn’t it? I mean, it must be pretty serious between you guys then?” he asked curiously, the question he tried to hide visible in his eyes.

Lennox felt her cheeks turn red and she looked down at the cup she was gripping between her hands. “If you’re asking if we’ve,
you
know
, then no we haven’t done that yet,” she said, watching light brown liquid in her cup slightly move, and avoiding his stare.

“Okay, that’s good... I guess, but I wasn’t talking about it in a physical way, more so in the emotional sense I guess.”

“Oh, well, for me it’s as serious as it can get I guess.”

His head tilted to the side as he looked at her, seeing it written in her eyes and all over her face, before stating, “You’re in love with him.”

She looked at him sheepishly, “It’s that obvious, isn’t it?” she said.

“I’m usually good at seeing these things, but I can see it and if you weren’t as crazy about him as you are, then last night you wouldn’t have been as... hurt as you were,” he told her honestly, his eyes looking back at her full of truth and she knew what he said was true.

“So, my feelings not changing, isn’t a bad thing?” She pulled her lip between her teeth and looked at him with anxious eyes.

Raine thought it over as he reached for his coffee cup, “Well, I don’t know what it is he lied about but, you love him?”

She nodded her head firmly, releasing her lip and saying, “Yeah, I just told you I did.”

“Let me ask you this then. If he would have told you the truth in the beginning, before you knew your feelings, would you have stayed with him?”

“Yes,” she said honestly, having no doubt about it, even if it went against everything she had always thought she didn’t want. “I know I would have.”

“Why?”

“Because,” a small smiled danced across her lips as she shrugged her shoulders, “it’s Caleb, and I’ve been in love with him since I was a little girl.”

“Well, then it’s not crazy, it’s normal to feel that hurt and betrayed when someone you love lies to you and if that’s all it was about then... I see no reason why you can’t work it out,” he said, uncrossing his arms and shoving his hands into his jeans.

“Yeah, maybe,” she sounded unsure.

“But…” Raine said, sensing there was one there, unsaid.

“But,” she began, trailing off not sure what to tell him without actually telling him what had happened last night and by doing that she would have to tell him about the cocaine and she didn’t want to tell anyone about it, not yet. She smiled at him, shaking her head, “it’s nothing; I’ll figure it out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay.” He sipped the rest of his coffee then set his cup in the sink. “I’m going to hop in for a shower then I’m thinking about hitting the gym. You can come with and watch me work these bad boys,” he flexed his biceps with a smug smirk, “or I can take you home; anything you want Cupcake.”

Lennox hopped off the stool and walked over to him and straight into his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist and rested her check against his hard, bare chest and said, “Thanks Raine, for everything; you’re the best.”

He wrapped his arms around her then kissed the top of her head, and said, “Anytime Lennox, what are friends for,” he murmured into her hair, then gave her waist a squeeze before they broke apart.

“Mind if I watch TV while you shower?”

“Nope, make yourself at home,” he smiled then turned to head for his bedroom, only to stop and tell her, “Your cell phone is in your coat pocket which is on the recliner in the living room.” He turned and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

Lennox finished off her coffee then put their cups in the dishwasher before heading into the living room where she curled up at the end of the couch and turned on the television. She flipped through the channels unable to find anything and decided on a rerun of an old sitcom from the 90’s, one she had watched plenty of times with her parents. Her head wasn’t really into watching it after ten minutes when her head switched to Caleb and what she was going to do.

It was last night, after tossing and turning and waking up every couple hours, that it became known to her that her reaction earlier with Emerson and then Caleb hadn’t been over the cocaine but the lying itself. If he had told her in the beginning, been honest with her, she would have dealt with it; even if it did make her stomach churn in fear. As much as she wished that wasn’t true, deep down she knew it was, and that she would have stayed with him regardless of the standards she had when it came to drug use.

And now, sitting in Raine’s place, on his couch, in his clothing, she knew what she wanted, even after the thought of ending things crossed her mind more than once during the night. She gave it thought and no sooner did that happen did she push it away, knowing it wasn’t going to happen. She knew where she was going once Raine got out of the shower and what she had to do, even if the choice she made turned out to be the wrong one. In her heart and soul she knew her decision was right. For knowing what she knew, nothing changed in her eyes. Caleb was still Caleb and she was still Lennox, who was completely head over heels in love with him and it was now apparent that nothing was going to change that; not even the one important deal breaker she had.

Lennox looked across to the recliner and saw her coat lying on the seat. Curious to know if anyone had called or texted her, she got up and reached over and swiped it off the chair and pulled it on to her lap. She riffled through the pockets until she found her cell phone in the second pocket and pulled it out, unlocked the screen and was surprised to see she had only two missed calls and five text messages waiting. Looking at her call log she was able to see that both calls were from Caleb and there was a voicemail waiting for her. Before she called to check her messages, she scrolled through her texts; all but one had been from Caleb while the last was from an unknown number.

After reading Caleb’s texts of apology after apology and him telling her he fucked up in the worst way ever, she got to the last text to see it was from Emerson, who had taken her number from Caleb’s phone after he fell asleep. He told her how bad Caleb felt and how torn up he was not knowing if she was at least okay and made it home okay. After adding Emerson’s number to her phone book she dialed her voicemail and waited for Caleb’s voice.