Take It - Part Two (13 page)

“You look stunning,” Pierce says breathlessly as he takes my hand and spins me in the moonlight. My red satin cocktail dress shimmers; I should have chosen black to mourn the evening. It’s likely I’ll go to this party and cross paths with someone from my former life. Maybe not a person I worked with every day, but odds are the rumor mill was working overtime after I was fired and someone on the peripheral of my business life would have heard.

That should have been enough to get me to bail on tonight. Pierce is the most stable and dependable thing in my life right now. He may not see everything I keep in my broken heart, but he’s been loyal and patient. He’s put my needs, or at least what he believes are my needs, first. It’s been over a month, and we’ve done little more than get to know each other’s habits, all in the name of my healing and finding my footing.

“Are you excited?” he asks as he leans me against the side of his truck and tucks my hair behind my ears. He looks perfect in his gray suit and red tie to match my dress. Tilting my chin upward he kisses me. I welcome it, not only to feel connected to him but to stall while I work the answer to his question.

“Nervous,” I breathe into his lips as he pulls away. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me, and I don’t want to blow it.”

“You’ll do great. I know you will. I look at what you’ve done in the last month, how far you’ve come, and I’m impressed every day by you.”

“Thanks.” I shrug as a shiver goes up my spine. “There’s something I need to say before we go to this gala, Pierce.” Mustering as much courage as possible I conjure the right words to explain what happened between Harrison and me. What he did to me. How I compromised myself.

“Me first.” He grins, leaning against me with the weight of his body. Cupping my chin in his hand he bores holes through me with his intense stare. “Tonight I want to celebrate. We’ve waited long enough. I can’t go another night without you in my bed. When we get home let’s move your stuff into my room.”

“So we can sleep?” I ask tentatively. My lack of questions the first time is what left me shocked when I ended up in the spare room.

“Eventually, I’m sure we’ll need some rest,” he whispers through my hair, his warm breath teasing my ear. “You’re exactly what I’ve always wanted in a woman. You’re funny and kind. You watch out for your friends, and you try hard to make your mother happy. Which I know isn’t easy. You’re a very special person. I know the time we’ve spent together hasn’t exactly been conventional, but I think it’s what we needed. You’re exactly what I’m looking for, and tonight I want to take the next step.”

“Let’s skip the gala,” I say, reaching for the buckle of his belt. “We could stay here, go back inside. I want to be in your arms, Pierce. I want you now.” I run my hand down the length of his hard cock pressing through his suit pants. Normally I’d never be so bold with him, but I’m feeling desperate for many reasons. My sexual frustration building inside feels like a volcano that’s been capped and fighting fiercely to boil over. Coupled with my desire to be anywhere but the gala, I’m willing to do just about anything to convince him it’s worth staying here.

“Jenny, you’re making it very hard to get in that car right now.” His lips pull away from mine, and they part over the sensitive skin of my neck. I purr and grind my body against his, clawing my nails into his bicep.

“Take me inside, Pierce. Take me.” I’ve managed to unbutton his pants and yank until the zipper flies open. I firmly grab his cock, letting its heat warm me. This is what I would have done to Harrison if he were here. I’d have forgotten the world around us and reached for what I wanted. I’d have demanded it. The way I want it, when I want it. I feel Pierce’s very subtle retreat and instantly know we will never have what Harrison and I had.

“Jenny, that party is important. We can wait a few more hours.” There is a look in his eyes I was afraid I’d see one day. It’s a look of quiet judgment. It’s hard to sum up in a word; it’s more like an idea: the thought that persistent women, in business or in bed, are bitches or whores. It’s slut-shaming, making me feel impure because I actually enjoy sex, and I seek it out. What I want as desperately as any man does. The look is fleeting and punctuated with a light kiss on my cheek, but it stays with me. Pierce won’t be a man I direct to my pleasure. He will never be Harrison. I highly doubt he’d betray me or tolerate anyone else hurting me. I’m at the crossroads between nice guy and wanting something more for myself, even if the stakes are significantly higher.

Pierce pulls open my car door, and I slink into the front seat, feeling thoroughly rejected and bogged down by that judgment in his eyes. Not surprisingly, the ride to the gala is quiet, and I blame it on nerves, which isn’t a complete lie.

“No matter what happens tonight, Jenny, I’m proud of you for getting back out there. You can’t let one asshole keep you down.”

“I need to know something, Pierce. Before we go in there I need an answer to something.”

“Sure,” he shrugs, looking tentative.

“Why me? You’re a gorgeous firefighter who saves people’s lives every day. By all accounts you’re a stand-up guy with his life together. I was going to assume that maybe you weren’t very well endowed, but we can take that off the table now. So if you have everything going for you, why did you take any interest in me at my worst? I’ve heard you say I’m kind and we have a lot in common but there has to be something else. Why me?”

Pierce puts the car in park and shifts his body so he can look directly at me. I, however, do not meet his eyes. Not at first. It’s not until he brushes my bangs out of my eyes that I feel compelled to look up. “I’ve been with my share of women over the years. I used to look for one certain type, even when I didn’t realize it. Obviously none of them worked out and for all the same reasons. I’m a really selfless person. That’s not something I’m saying to be conceited, it’s just a part of my makeup. I kept getting into relationships with women who exploited that in one way or another. Three months before your accident I had sworn off women completely. I was so tired of being used. Then that day in the car . . . you told me go. To save myself. No one ever says that. I mean in the movies they do but not in real life. I’ve been doing this job long enough to see people beg for their lives, nearly drowning someone else when they panic in the water. You were the first person to ever tell me to save myself.”

My heart crumbles. He thought that was some kind of courageous and selfless act. I was merely feeling so insignificant and broken I wasn’t worth saving if it meant risking another’s life.

“Then the next time I saw you I got a glimpse of how determined you are. Lying there in the shower, insisting on getting your life back in order. By the time we went out with your friend the first time, I had high hopes for us. I’m not really into the club scene; I’m not into girls who act like Tracey did. It was clear you and I have a lot in common. I know you think waiting to have sex is weird. I’m still coming off my dating hiatus, and I wanted a little more time. I’m looking for a specific kind of woman, and I think you’re it.”

“You’re giving me too much credit. I don’t think I’m that woman. It’s not that I don’t want to be. You’re the best man I’ve ever met. The most heroic, upstanding guy and I’m also attracted to you, a lot. There isn’t a thing wrong with you, but there is plenty wrong with me. The mistakes I made were significant, and they’ve changed me. As much as I love what we’re doing right now, what we have, I can’t help but think there’s going to come a time where I’m going to disappoint you. You deserve the kind of woman you just mentioned, but I might not be her.”

A tap on the window by the valet slices the moment open and spills out any chance of us resolving anything now.

“Tonight, Jenny. We’ll work it all out tonight. You just go in there and knock them dead. Be yourself, and they’ll love you.”

As we walk through the large metal doors I realize something. Pierce thinks my inability to get back into my field is a crisis of confidence. Another shiver rolls over my spine as we step into the drafty, intentionally stark ballroom. It’s clearly meant to be a minimalist modernism theme, but to me it just seems cavernous. There is already a sea of people chatting and laughing in little circles.

“Over there,” Pierce says, gesturing to a man standing by the buffet table. “That’s Warren Seinfeld. He’s the man waiting to meet you. I don’t want to look like the hovering boyfriend or anything, so I’m going to grab drinks and head out to the patio. Whenever you’re done, just come join me. You got this, babe.” I feel his hand move from the small of my back to push me forward slightly, shoving me toward what he mistakenly thinks is my destiny.

I consider bolting. I could grab a cab, get my stuff out of his place, and be gone before he even realized I wasn’t at this party anymore. I could get a job somewhere down south, where it’s warm all the time. I could start completely over. Change my name.

“Jenny Collins,” Warren says, as he steps into my view. I guess any name changing will have to wait.

Warren is a skinny but tall man. His head is shaved, clearly to compensate for a receding hairline. His features are pointy, his chin and his nose both looking like triangles.

I obediently extend my hand, the business professional rushing back. My smile is so wide I’m sure he’ll think something is wrong with me, that I’m having a stroke or something.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Warren says, still holding my hand. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you’d be applying for many jobs, especially an entry-level one, with your unique qualifications.” His hand is still firmly gripping mine, and he leads me to the corner of the room by a large cement pillar.

“I’m not sure I’m interested in the position. A friend of mine set this up.”

“That’s not what I hear.” He winks, and I wonder if he has some kind of tick or something in his eye.

“What have you heard exactly?”

“Let’s just say I’ll be anxious to have someone like you in the office.”

“The position might not be a good fit for me.”

“From what I know about you, you’re into all different kinds of positions. I only got to see two of the photos that were circulating around, but they certainly made me want to hire you. I’m a married man, and I don’t get to have much fun anymore, so having you in the office would change that.” Dropping my hand finally, he traces a finger up my arm and toward the strap of my dress.

“Don’t touch me,” I growl, slapping his hand away. “My boyfriend is here, and if he sees you touching me he’ll kill you.” My whole body quivers at the idea of the photos circulating, at the proposition of this disgusting man.

“Oh I see, so the boyfriend doesn’t know you’re a dirty girl. He wasn’t the one in the photos was he? I can keep a secret if you can. I’m hard just thinking about it. Come with me, I’m parked out back. I know you like fucking in cars.” He takes my wrist tightly and tugs me behind the pillar toward one of the doors on the side of the building. “This will be your interview.”

“Let me go.” I dig my high heels into the floor but it’s useless, he’s tugging me forward another foot. “I’ll scream.”

“I’d like that. Fighting back is a nice touch, too. I like that in a whore.”

“Normally I’d give a guy three seconds to stop what he’s doing before I destroy him, but you’re fucking with the wrong girl, so I’m giving you one second.” I hear his voice over my shoulder and the look on Warren’s face shifts from devilish to sheepish. He lets my arm drop and stumbles back a step.

“What the hell is going on here, Jenny?” Harrison asks as he steps to my side, puffing his chest up at Warren. “Is this guy bothering you? Because it sounded like he was calling you a whore and trying to drag you out of here.”

“Listen, something got lost in communication here. She has a reputation, and I was going with it. That’s the stuff she likes.” Warren’s face is blood red and the vein in his forehead is pulsing.

“Get the hell away from me,” I stutter, clutching Harrison’s arm to keep myself from falling.

“Go,” Harrison barks, “before I change my mind and rip your tongue out of your mouth.”

Warren retreats, banging himself awkwardly into the doorframe on his way out of the building. When he’s out of sight I let go of Harrison’s arm and stumble away, my legs hardly able to hold me up.

“Where are you going? Who was that guy?” Harrison demands, catching my elbow and spinning me back toward him. We’re still hidden well behind the pillar, but I feel utterly exposed, not knowing who else in the room has seen the photos. “Listen, I just bailed you out, the least you can do is explain why I needed to.”

A rage erupts from my toes to the ends of my long red hair. “Way to go, you solved a problem you caused. Now you can get the hell away from me too.”

“I caused that guy to be a fucking pervert? I caused him to call you names and try dragging you out of here? You can accuse me of a lot of things, Jenny, and I’m not saying my hands are clean, but I don’t even know that guy.”

“You don’t, but thanks to you, he knows me, very intimately, actually. The pictures of us that you sent to my boss, they’ve been shared everywhere. You violated me in a way that keeps stealing my dignity, piece by piece.”

“What pictures? I didn’t send any pictures of you or us to anyone.”

“Sure you didn’t. I saw them in your email. I know you did. I don’t know why, and I don’t care anymore. I’m finally putting back together what you shattered, or I was before tonight.”