Take It - Part Two (9 page)

“Who’s that?” Pierce asks tentatively, and it solidifies the fact that the man standing on my stairs is not a figment of my imagination, conjured up by an aching heart. It’s Harrison. He is actually sitting on the stoop of my mother’s house looking impatient and tired. Without waiting for Pierce to put the car in park I remove my seat belt, swing the car door open, and step out. My legs are shaking as anger and frustration course through my veins. I want to strike him so hard across his beautiful face that the sting lasts all day.

When he looks up from his phone and sees me charging toward him, he shoots to his feet. The look on his face is something I haven’t seen before: genuine frantic concern, dancing at the corner of his eyes.

“What happened to you?” he asks with such breathy distress I’m taken aback for a second, forgetting what he did to me and seeing only what’s right in front of me, a man I love who looks desperately worried about me. When I freeze in my tracks, afraid to move any closer to him, he advances toward me and pulls me into his arms. I’m not prepared for the conflicting war that erupts inside me. The comfort I feel in his arms is undeniable, but the anger raging inside me is equally strong. When I’d imagined seeing him again I thought I’d slap his face, shove him backward, and release the pent-up fury I’d been trying to contain since he betrayed me. Now I rest my cheek against his chest, and my heart nearly bursts as he squeezes me tightly. It’s the kind of hug you give to someone you thought you nearly lost. It makes no sense, but I can’t let go. I hear Pierce’s car door open and close firmly and pull myself away from Harrison, taking a few large steps backward. He looks confused and that only makes me angrier. It’s only a couple seconds before I feel Pierce’s steadying hand on the small of my back.

“You just fell off the face of the earth. I’ve been calling your phone, and I went to your place. I kept going back, and then one day it was empty. I finally tracked down your mom’s address this morning. What the hell is going on?” Harrison’s voice is growing slightly louder the longer I stay silent. My heart has been sliced in half. One half wants to dive back into his arms and breathe in his familiar scent. The other half wants to rip his face off and tear it into confetti to throw in the air at his funeral after I kill him.

“What are you doing here?” I stutter, leaning back slightly into Pierce’s hand, reminding myself who actually has my back right now.

“I just told you, I was worried about you. You were at my place telling me you got fired and then you were gone. I thought maybe you killed yourself or something. I knew you were upset about losing your job, but I didn’t expect you to just take off from me.” Harrison is looking at me as though I’m the crazy person. As though finding out he got me fired in the most violating way is my fault. My reaction has inconvenienced him in some way.

“I’m Pierce,” I hear echo behind me as Pierce extends his hand to Harrison who meets it with very little attention.

“Great,” Harrison says distractedly and then directs his attention back to me. With the meeting of their hands my two worlds are colliding, and I realize how little I want to say in front of these two men. The way Pierce looks at me, what he thinks of me, would combust under the weight of the truth. The future he talks about wouldn’t stand a chance if he knew about my recent past. The things Harrison and I did, the way it all ended—Pierce would never be able to be with a person like that. If he thinks Tracey was off the rails he’d certainly think little of me. So confronting Harrison, screaming into his face, and punching my fists against his chest, would expose me in a whole new way.

“And you are?” Pierce asks in a lower than normal skeptical voice, the hand on my back now dropping to his side.

“Harrison Burke,” he replies, now clearly annoyed.

“You’re Harrison?” Pierce asks, taking a step forward, a couple inches closer to Harrison than I am. This is not what I want. For some women being the tug-of-war rope between two men is a turn on, but I know this frayed rope will split in two, and I’ll be left with nothing.

“Yes,” Harrison answers impatiently. He returns to ignoring Pierce, and his gorgeous eyes bore holes in me. “I pictured you face down in a ditch somewhere. You scared the hell out of me.”

The word
pictured
rings in my head. Pictures. Betrayal. Ruined. No matter how connected I feel to Harrison, I can’t allow myself to be swept away. Pierce is a good friend, a patient man, and someone I could actually thrive with. And if I am not careful Pierce will be one more thing Harrison ruins for me.

“You need to get out of here,” Pierce asserts, and again he’s met with annoyed bewilderment.

“Who the hell are you?” Harrison asks with a dismissive laugh. “I don’t think you’re Jenny’s mom so this isn’t your house, which means it’s none of your business.”

“Actually Jenny is my business, and she doesn’t want you here. You need to leave before I make you,” Pierce shouts as he puffs up his chest.

“That’s hilarious. You really think you could? That’s awful ballsy of you, considering you don’t know anything about me.” Harrison tosses his shoulders back as though he’s ready for a fight.

“You’re not welcome here,” Pierce reiterates, and I can feel my stomach doing anxious flips.

“Really Jenny, you already have people running your life again?” Harrison raises his brows and looks at me as though we’re sharing some kind of secret exchange, which we are. I know exactly what he’s saying. “You can speak for yourself, Jenny. Do you really want me to go?”

There is no pleading in Harrison’s eyes. All he wants to know is how I actually feel right now. What I really want.

“You should both go,” I croak out as I stare down at my one sneaker and one black bulky walking boot. “Please, just both of you leave.” The quiver in my voice is shooting right up from my shaking core. I want this moment over. “I want to be alone.”

Harrison shrugs, still looking confused. He leans in to me and kisses my cheek, so close to my ear that I hear the rush of his breath. “Call me, Jenny. I don’t know what’s going on, but call me so we can talk about it. I’m just glad you’re not hurt too badly.”

“That’s the thing, she is. She crashed her car leaving your house. If I hadn’t been there to pull her out she’d be dead right now. She’s not going to call you.” Pierce is shouting toward Harrison’s back as he reaches his car and glances over his shoulder.

“Just what you needed, Jenny, a hero who knows what’s best for you. How lucky. Call me.” He disappears into his car and speeds off, kicking up some gravel as he goes.

“You’re shaking,” Pierce says as he pulls me in for a tight hug. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll take you in the house and get you settled.” Pierce keeps me tucked under his arm as he leads me up to the side door.

“I think you should go, Pierce. I need to be alone.” The loud buzzing in my head isn’t something I’ll be able to sort through with him here trying to understand. I need to be alone with my thoughts and try to dissect every word Harrison just uttered, every flicker in his eye and every rise and fall of his voice. What did it mean? Clearly he was worried for me. Doesn’t that mean he cares?

“I’m not going to leave you like this. You shouldn’t be alone.” I want to argue the point with him, but I’m out of words. Seeing Harrison, having him stand there looking so concerned, elicits emotions in me that I’m not prepared for. My anger is too twisted up with a magnetic pull toward him; I can’t make sense of it with Pierce here.

We’re in my old room, and I’m sitting on the bed before I realize we’ve moved inside. He’s urging me to lie back.

“I need to think,” I whisper, rubbing at my temples as if that might kick-start my brain.

“There isn’t anything to think about. Being in an abusive relationship can be confusing, but nothing is ever going to change. You need to trust me; telling him to leave was the right thing to do.”

“Abusive?” I scoff, the word knocking me back to reality. “Harrison didn’t abuse me. He never laid a finger on me.” I think that phrase through for a moment. Harrison certainly had laid his fingers, hands, and tongue all over me, but not in the way Pierce is thinking.

“Not every abusive jerk hits. There are lots of ways to tear a girl down. I saw the aftermath the first day I came here to check on you, and I see it even more clearly when you set eyes on that guy. He hurt you.”

He’s right; I had a very visceral reaction to seeing Harrison on my mother’s doorstep. I felt a pain and yearning in my core that I’d been trying so hard to ignore. I’m not afraid of Harrison, I’m afraid of how I feel about him. How just seeing him evokes something beyond my control. That’s what had me shaking in his presence.

“It wasn’t like that with Harrison. I don’t know why he did what he did. There was never an explanation. It doesn’t make sense. Why would he come here and be worried about me if he didn’t really care? He was clearly concerned.” I’m not talking to Pierce; I’m trying to make sense of the situation.

“It’s textbook, Jenny. This is what narcissistic, arrogant men do. They grovel and act concerned, but in reality it’s all about control. Even if he never laid a hand on you, I heard you say it yourself. He ruined you, destroyed everything you had. That’s not how a relationship is supposed to work. Don’t be naive and fall for his mind games. If he took advantage of you once before, if he used you, don’t let him do it again.”

He had. Harrison had betrayed me. He had used me even if I don’t know for what. Even if I was too embarrassed to ask him today, it doesn’t change what he did. Maybe coming here is just part of his twisted game to keep destroying everything. It shouldn’t matter that the sight of him stole my breath and stopped my heart, that I craved the sensation of him plunging inside me or looking at me in a way that makes me feel powerful.

“Come stay with me,” Pierce blurts out, shifting to his side and taking both my hands in his. The words don’t register at first, but the look on his face is so sweet, a mix of excitement and reassurance.

“What?”

“You’re not thriving here and now this guy knows where you are; I think it would be good to have a change of scenery. Come stay with me.”

“Are you serious?” My heart won’t be able to take it if this is some kind of joke or a game to him. Pierce has been clear about making smart choices on our relationship. He’s not spontaneous or reckless; it’s why I’ve gravitated toward him after Harrison’s betrayal.

“It makes sense. You need a fresh start. I can come back tomorrow morning and pick your stuff up.”

“I can’t believe you’re offering this. I’ve been so confused, so hurt. I don’t know what to think of anything anymore.”

“You can trust me. I help the people I care about, I always have and always will. I can’t explain exactly what it is about you that makes me see a future for us, but I do. Something in your eyes that day in the car, something about the day I came here has stuck with me. I want to see you thrive.”

“I want that too,” I admit, squeezing his hands and closing my eyes tightly, making a wish to feel better.
To be better
. To not want Harrison anymore.

“Then it’s settled. I’ll be by in the morning to grab your stuff. This is the right thing. I know it. And if you feel like you might call Harrison, just call me instead. If you’re confused, think of this moment.”

Nodding my head and leaning into his kiss, I linger there. His lips are warm and plush, not aggressive and hungry the way Harrison’s always were. I’m as reluctant to let him go as he seems to be about leaving. I’ve gone from desperate to be alone to wishing I never will be again. As he steps out of my room the woodsy scent of his cologne lingers well after he’s gone.

Flopping down against the pillow, I take stock of my life once more. They always say when one door closes another opens. Before I met Harrison I’d never have considered moving in with a man like Pierce so quickly. But now when I feel like I’ve been robbed of everything, he seems like he could be my salvation. It’s shocking how fast an independent, levelheaded, hardworking woman can change. I’m like a fairy-tale princess in reverse.

Harrison

“I’m finally up to speed on the previous drug trials, Mr. Burke,” Ted Baylor says stiffly as he plops down a pile of folders in front of me. He’s clearly still settling into his new office, none of his boxes are unpacked, but clearly he’s getting right down to business. Over the last few years there have been dozens of make-or-break moments for this whole ridiculous scheme, but we have never been so close to actually pulling it off. The stakes are higher.

“Please call me Harrison.”

“No,” Ted insists, adjusting his tie to make sure it’s straight. “I’d prefer to be as professional as possible. There is a bit of scuttlebutt around the office why this last trial has been wiped completely from the books. I wasn’t able to look at a single test that was run or an outcome. Whatever got my predecessor fired must have been quite serious, and I don’t intend to leave myself open to any of the same. We test the drug, we present our findings, we move on.”

“Of course.” I straighten my back and nod confidently, but inside I’m clawing to hang on to my sanity. The thought of Jenny being the topic of conversation around the office stabs at me. Seeing her that day at her mother’s place, standing there with that asshole guy—it’s been eating me alive. Who the hell does he think he is to tell her what she needs or what she should do?

There have been dozens of times I’ve wanted to track him down and pummel him. And even more times I’ve wanted to barge back into Jenny’s life and insist she forgive me. It wouldn’t be fair to her right now. I needed to see she was all right, and I did. Until this situation is resolved, or at least close to it, I can’t involve her. No matter how badly I want to hold her again.

All my time needs to be spent here, completely focused. Ted Baylor isn’t the kind of guy who’s going to let one slight discrepancy fly. I’ve got to be on my game completely, and Jenny, the way I feel about her, knocks me off it.

When all this is done, however it turns out, I will find her and tell her how I feel. She’ll know why I’ve done what I’ve done. I can’t force her to forgive me. I won’t demand anything from her. That’s exactly what’s been wrong with everyone in her life so far, and this new guy seems to fit the bill.

“Did you hear me, Mr. Burke?” Ted asks, clearly not for the first time. I didn’t hear him. When my thoughts go to Jenny, I hear nothing. “We’ll start the first phase of testing on Tuesday.”

“That sounds great,” I lie, knowing the engineers need more time to repair the issues with Ultimate Glucose Solution. The version of the drug Ted was testing would not pass, but they were very close to working out the last of its bugs. I’d gotten a very promising phone call this morning telling me the issue had been identified and is being corrected. They are finally in the homestretch.

The problem remains that any testing going through right now will have to be destroyed or corrupted in some way. I only need to put it off a little while longer. But Ted won’t be easily distracted. He won’t be bought or blackmailed.

“With any luck we’ll be celebrating this success soon.” Ted smiles as he gestures toward the door and dismisses me.

Silently I step into the hallway and look toward the door where Jenny’s office used to be. This jerk already has a nicer one than she ever did. I never should have listened when she told me to leave. I should have explained right then. I should have begged her to forgive me. If it weren’t for that jackass Pierce standing there I would have. Just a little longer, just a few more things to do—then I can tell her everything. I don’t see any future for me on the other side of this. I don’t see a way we can be together, but I can’t let her live the rest of her life not knowing what she meant to me. What she did to me. How she changed me. I just need a little more time.