Take Me Always
A Ravenous Romance™ Panamour™ Original Publication
Ryan Field
A Ravenous Romance™ Panamour™ Original Publication
www.ravenousromance.com
Copyright © 2009 by Ryan Field
Ravenous Romance™ 100 Cummings Center Suite 123A
Beverly, MA 01915
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review.
ISBN-13: 978-1-60777-220-0
This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Chapter One
The best idea Kadin Mulroney had in a long time came to him while he was
preparing to return to his room. He raised his eyebrows and bent forward to touch his
partner’s hand. “I’m going to start a personal blog,” he said, “I have a story to tell, and I
think you’re going to like it.”
“A blog?” Gregory asked. He was wearing a red crewneck sweater with beige
slacks and brown leather loafers. But he didn’t know he was anyone’s partner. He leaned
forward in the chair and twisted his upper body sideways; his feet were crossed at the
ankle, knees spread apart.
Kadin smiled and patted Gregory’s soft hand a few times. His fingers looked
longer and thinner now. “A personal blog is a diary or a journal, but on the computer
instead of paper. Brandon taught me all about blogging the last time he came to visit from
New York.”
Brandon was the oldest of their three children. But when Kadin mentioned his
name, Gregory looked out the window and stared at the grounds. The leaves were just
turning red, yellow, and orange in Savannah, and the late afternoon sun was going down.
“I see,” Gregory said. His eyes followed two squirrels chasing each other up a tall
oak. His mouth was half open and he tapped his bottom lip with his finger.
Kadin knew Gregory didn’t recognize him that afternoon. He was just a nice man
who came to visit every now and then with chocolates and hard candies. “Yes,” he said,
“I’ll start writing it tonight, and bring my laptop tomorrow and read it to you. I know you’re going to enjoy this story.” He wasn’t an expert with computers, but for a man his
age, he was proud that he’d learned how to send e-mails and that he knew enough to read
all his favorite newspapers online. His laptop also kept him connected to his family and
the rest of the world.
Gregory tilted his head to the side and folded his hands on his lap. The blank stare
wasn’t as obvious today. But it was still there. “What’s the story about?” he asked.
This was the first time he’d seen a hint of curiosity in Gregory’s eyes in a long
time. “It’s a simple love story,” Kadin said. “And it’s about two handsome young men
who lived in Savannah a long time ago.” He didn’t speak down to him, but he spoke
more slowly than usual, keeping his voice low and even. And he chose his words with
care so he wouldn’t frustrate or alienate Gregory. He never knew what would set him off.
He might start screaming, and tears could roll down his cheeks at any given moment.
Sometimes it could be something as simple as the wrong chocolate bar. Once he’d
thrown chairs around the sunroom because he couldn’t figure out how to button his
favorite cardigan sweater.
But now, Gregory smiled for the first time that day. “I think I’d like that,” he said.
Then he leaned forward so the nurse on the other side of the room wouldn’t hear him and
asked, “Are these guys good looking, too?” They were from a generation that didn’t
discuss these topics openly in mixed company.
Kadin laughed and said, “These two guys were the hottest guys who ever walked
the streets of Savannah.” He leaned in a little closer and said, “And they couldn’t keep
their hands off each other.” Gregory looked at the nurse, then back at Kadin. When he turned his head fast, a
shock of sandy blond hair, now peppered with white, fell across his forehead. He cupped
the side of his face with his right hand and asked, “Is there a lot of love in the story?”
Kadin leaned forward and whispered, “Plenty.” He knew Gregory was really
referring to sex, but “love” was the polite way to phrase it. Gregory had always been a
well-mannered Southern gentleman.
Gregory rubbed his palms together and smiled. “Ah, well…this sounds like it
could be very interesting.”
Then Kadin tapped his shoulder a few times and turned to leave. It was getting
late and he knew the nurses liked to get Gregory settled for the night by seven. He didn’t
hug him or kiss him, because that kind of intimacy would seem out of place from a
stranger. And that’s what Kadin was now, a total stranger. Gregory could recall some
things that had happened in the past six months, but their past forty-five years together
were now a blank canvas. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.
Gregory stood up and shook his hand. “Thank you for stopping by,” he said,
“You’re a very nice man. You do a good job here.” He thought Kadin was one of the staff.
The day before, he’d thought he was one of the doctors.
After that, the nurse took Gregory to his room, and Kadin shuffled back to his
room, passing nurses and technicians who were now the only friends he saw regularly.
They smiled and nodded, murmuring things to each other when he was out of earshot. To
most of them, Gregory and Kadin were a novelty. It wasn’t every day you met two gay
men who had been together for more than forty years. Especially when you considered
the fact that Kadin didn’t have to be there. When he’d finally decided to admit Gregory to a nursing home, he’d voluntarily taken a room of his own so he could be near him at all
times. Their three children had been against him living there, but it was the only way
Kadin would agree to put Gregory in a nursing home.
He had no regrets. He slept well at night, because he still spent his days with the
man he’d loved for the better part of his life. Sometimes they talked about the weather,
sometimes they talked about the food, and sometimes they just sat there in silence staring
out the window at squirrels. Kadin made sure Gregory’s medications were always correct,
that he ate decent, balanced meals, and that he was never alone. It didn’t matter that he
didn’t know who Kadin was. All that mattered was that Kadin knew who he was.
But more than that, it didn’t matter anymore that he was eighty and Gregory was
only seventy; there were no more rules to follow. Gregory had many bad days, and some
good days when he could actually remember some details of the life they’d shared. And
Kadin didn’t want to miss the good days.
Chapter Two
On Friday nights in 1956, Kadin Mulroney would secretly drive his red Cadillac
convertible twenty miles north of Savannah to a small picnic area at the side of the road.
He hired a babysitter to stay with his three children for a couple of hours, and he’d tell
her he was going out with a few friends to see a movie, or that he was playing poker and
he’d be back before eleven. He was always freshly showered and casually dressed in a
white short-sleeved shirt. His thick black hair was always combed back and puffed a little
at the top. And he smelled like lemony aftershave and peppermint chewing gum.
The picnic area was dark and private, with four gray, weathered picnic benches
surrounded by tall, dense trees. There were usually five or six other cars in the parking
area on any given night of the week. The men in the cars were various ages, but they all
went there for the same reason Kadin went: to meet other men like themselves. Because
in 1956, in the Deep South, the most important word for men who wanted to meet other
men for sex was
discretion
.
One night in early November of that year, Kadin went there on a Friday night and
pulled in at the end of the parking area near the last picnic bench. There was a chill in the
air, but it was still warm enough to leave the windows open. He turned off the headlights
and switched off the ignition. Then he lit a cigarette, leaned his left arm out the window,
and sat back against the seat to wait. It was quiet for a while. There were only two other
cars there. From what Kadin could see, one of them was empty and the other had fogged
windows. But twenty minutes later, an older, black Hudson pulled into the picnic area and
parked in front of him. He couldn’t see what the driver looked like, but he could see him
adjusting the mirror and looking back.
Another fifteen minutes passed before the driver’s door of the Hudson opened
slowly and a young man stepped out. He didn’t turn back and look at Kadin directly, but
he did linger outside the car for a few minutes so Kadin could see what he looked like.
He was wearing tight black pants, a plain white T-shirt and black lace-up shoes. He
purposely crossed to the back window of his car and leaned all the way over to remove a
smudge on the glass with his fingers. When he stretched his arm all the way out, the T
shirt rode up and exposed his bare waist. His pants were so tight, they hugged his firm,
round buttocks. He arched his back and spread his legs, smiling quickly in Kadin’s
direction.
Then he stepped back from the car and stretched his arms all the way in the air.
His body was thin and solid; he looked to be in his mid-twenties. He lingered there for
another minute, then looked through the windshield and into Kadin’s eyes. He put his
hands in his pockets and walked toward the picnic bench closest to the woods. Kadin
rubbed his jaw and watched. His heart began to race like it always did when he saw an
ass he could hammer. When the guy reached the picnic bench, the only thing Kadin could
see were shadows. The guy lifted his arms slowly and removed his T-shirt, then he leaned
back against the picnic table and lit a cigarette. When he inhaled, his lifted his head high
and blew out a long stream of smoke.
Kadin licked his lips and got out of the car; his penis already semi-erect. He lit
another cigarette and started walking toward the picnic bench near the dark woods. By the time he got there, the young guy had removed all his clothes—a very bold move,
indeed. He was sitting on the picnic table stark naked, with a cigarette dangling from the
side of his mouth, holding his erection. When he looked up at Kadin, he smiled and
spread his legs. “Hey, buddy,” he said. His voice was a soft stage whisper, with an
obvious feminine quality that sounded like a bad imitation of Marilyn Monroe. The
cigarette was between his middle and index fingers, his arm was high, and his hand went
all the way back with an exaggerated gesture.
Kadin smiled and stared down at his shoes. “Hey,” he said. His own voice was
deep and strong, and he held his cigarette between his thumb and index finger. This was
the first time he’d seen anyone so daring at the picnic area. Most guys usually just pulled
down their zippers and dropped their pants to their ankles for a quick blow job. But this
one was different—it was the first time Kadin had ever seen someone bold enough to
strip naked next to a picnic bench. Evidently, he wasn’t shy about wanting a man that
night and he was willing to go all the way to prove it.
The young guy jumped down from the bench and stood on his tiptoes, as if he
were wearing invisible high heels. When he moved to where Kadin was standing, he
reached out and pulled down Kadin’s zipper without asking for permission.
And Kadin didn’t object. First he cleared his throat and coughed. Then he spread
