Take Me Always (9 page)

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Authors: Ryan Field

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couple of times. “To be honest, I was worried I might find a bald guy with a paunch.”

 

Kadin was thirty-five. He’d been noticing flecks of white near his temples and a

 

few lines at the corners of his eyes. But he wasn’t going to ruin a compliment from the

 

most attractive twenty-five-year-old he’d seen in a long time. So he smiled and said,

 

“Thank you.” Gregory looked at the house again and asked, “Do you live in this huge place all

 

by yourself?”

 

Kadin knew he was asking this for a reason. He was trying to find out if there was

 

someone in his life now. “No,” he said. “I live here with my family. They’re all in Florida

 

for the week visiting grandparents.”

 

“I see,” he said. “Did you reconcile with your wife?” He didn’t look him in the

 

eye this time. He twisted his lips, turned to the right, and stared up and down at the trunk

 

of an oak tree, waiting for him to answer.

 

Kadin frowned. It wasn’t an extraordinary assumption. He sighed and said, “A

 

few years ago, my ex-wife was killed in an automobile accident, and now I’m raising the

 

children alone. They live here with me. I have a housekeeper. I’m not married or

 

involved with anyone.” He wanted to tell him there hadn’t been anyone serious since the

 

summer he’d met him, but it was too soon for that. He still wasn’t sure why Gregory had

 

come to see him.

 

“I’m sorry about your ex-wife,” he said. “It must have been awful for the

 

children.” Gregory had only met her once, the morning they’d taken the kids to The

 

Valdosta Snake and Wild Animal Farm.

 

“It hasn’t been easy,” Kadin said, “but we’re doing okay now.” Then he bent

 

down to pick up a bicycle lying on its side next to the front walk. He laughed and said, “It

 

gets a little crazy sometimes, but we get by.”

 

Gregory looked into his eyes again and said, “They’re very lucky to have you for

 

their father.” Kadin didn’t take compliments like that well. He was doing what he was

 

supposed to do as a father, and even though it was difficult, he was enjoying every

 

minute of it. So he changed the subject and asked, “How long will you be in town?”

 

“I’m not sure,” Gregory said. “A couple of days, maybe.”

 

Kadin knew Miles had moved away, and that Gregory didn’t have any ties to

 

Savannah. So the next question he asked was the one he’d been thinking from the minute

 

Gregory stepped out of the car. “Why are you here?”

 

Gregory shrugged his shoulders and stared down at his shoes. “Ah, well,” he said,

 

“I wanted to see you again is all. I’m engaged to be married this June and I’m starting a

 

new job in Atlanta, and I just wanted to touch base with you again.” He hesitated between

 

sentences, as if he wasn’t telling the whole truth.

 

When he said he was engaged, Kadin’s stomach turned. But he forced a smile and

 

said, “Congratulations. I hope you’ll both be very happy.” Kadin knew what Gregory was

 

doing. He was trying to be something he wasn’t just to please his family and society.

 

Kadin had done the same thing, and he knew it never turned out well.

 

But his smile must have appeared forced, because Gregory looked at him as if he

 

was reading his mind., “I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not like that. Betsy, my

 

fiancee, and I are more like brother and sister, if you know what I mean. We have an

 

unspoken agreement, and she’s fine with that. She doesn’t expect anything but

 

companionship. We’re both architects and we have a great deal in common. You’d like

 

her.”

 

“I’m sure I would,” Kadin said. He didn’t know how to respond to the fact that

 

Gregory was getting involved in a loveless marriage. He knew guys from the picnic area who were in marriages like that. They lived simple, contented lives and everyone was

 

happy on the surface. But it was really none of his business, so he changed the subject

 

and said, “I’m glad you finally became an architect. I always wondered about that.”

 

Gregory’s expression became serious again. He frowned and said, “I didn’t go

 

right back to school. After we left so suddenly that summer, I enlisted in the Army and

 

went overseas to Japan. I needed time to think and I needed to get away from my family.”

 

It sounded as if he was dropping hints, allowing Kadin to probe. Kadin had never

 

fully comprehended how devastating it must have been for him the day they forced him

 

to leave Savannah. So traumatizing that he’d dropped out of school and joined the Army.

 

But then he laughed at the thought of Gregory in the Army. He had always been so

 

delicate and refined. Trying to picture him in fatigues wasn’t easy. “Did you make any,

 

ah, really good friends while you were in the service? I hear there are a lot of good

 

looking guys there.”

 

Gregory squared his shoulders and gave him a blank stare, as if that wasn’t any of

 

his business. He said, in a proud, defiant voice, “I made several very good friends, all

 

attractive men with strong hands. But nothing you’d call serious.”

 

He knew Gregory was talking about sex with other men. He was telling Kadin in

 

a subtle way that he’d experimented more than once. He wasn’t ashamed of it, but he

 

wasn’t bragging and he wasn’t about to go into any details. Kadin appreciated his honesty

 

and smiled. He hadn’t been a saint either—far from it—and he certainly wasn’t going to

 

tell him about his trips to the picnic area for anonymous blow jobs, or about the time he’d

 

fucked kinky little Eddie in high heels. So Kadin scratched the back of his head a couple of times and looked to the left. “Do you have time to take a short walk down to the

 

creek?” he asked.

 

Gregory smiled and raised one eyebrow. “I think I have time for a quick walk.”

 

Kadin lifted his left arm all the way out and said, “After you.”

 

They walked in tandem to the creek. The natural dynamics between them hadn’t

 

changed. Kadin was still the one who held the door open and Gregory was still the one

 

who went in first. And while Gregory led the way, Kadin stared at his ass all the way

 

down to the creek. His hands were in his pockets, and when the beige cotton fabric

 

stretched across his backside, his firm buttocks rounded and bubbled like the smooth ass

 

on a nude bronze. Kadin’s penis grew with each step he took. He had to reach down into

 

his pants when Gregory wasn’t looking and adjust his erection so it would point up—a

 

penis as big as his pointing down could be painful.

 

When they were next to the creek, Gregory closed his eyes and inhaled the early

 

spring. Then he turned and faced Kadin. “It’s just as I remember it,” he said, “It’s the one

 

place where I’ve always felt completely relaxed.”

 

Kadin smiled and put his right hand in his pocket so he could hold his dick down.

 

It was fully erect now and he didn’t want Gregory to see it sticking out of his pants.

 

When he looked up at the trees, just beginning to come to life with pale green buds, he

 

sighed, realizing how lucky he was to live there. He didn’t have a favorite time of year

 

there. Each season contained its own glorious miracle.

 

Gregory bent down and picked up a few small stones. He pitched one and it

 

landed in the water. There was a soft plunk and the smooth surface rippled out in perfect circles. Then he pitched another and said, “Are you sure it’s okay that I came down here?

 

I’ll just leave right now if it’s not okay. I don’t want to intrude in any way.”

 

Kadin stared at the back of his head and said, “Of course it’s okay. Why would

 

you even ask that question?” He saw Gregory was serious now. He was holding

 

something back and Kadin wasn’t sure why.

 

Gregory dropped the stones and straightened his shoulders. Without facing him,

 

he lowered his voice and said, “Because you never wrote or called. I sat there and waited

 

for a week, thinking surely you’d at least send a letter. But there was nothing. I couldn’t

 

eat or sleep. I thought about calling you, but I was terrified you’d give me a lecture about

 

how it was best that I went back to school and forgot all about you. I was terrified you’d

 

tell me I was just a kid with a crush and I’d forget all about you in time, or that I was

 

going through a phase. Because that’s what my parents were thinking. So I waited for

 

you to make the first move, and that never happened. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I

 

wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I’d heard about men who fell in love with other men, and

 

they wound up in mental hospitals. So I joined the Army and ran away from everything.”

 

Kadin’s erection began to shrink. He opened his mouth to speak, but Gregory

 

turned around and faced him. He wiped a tear from his face and tried hard to steady his

 

trembling lips. Then he looked Kadin in the eye and said, “All you had to do was call or

 

write and say something. I wasn’t expecting much.”

 

Kadin stepped forward and shook his head back and forth. “You never received

 

any of my letters?”

 

“What letters?” He grabbed Gregory’s shoulders and shook him gently. “I wrote you every single

 

day for one solid year.” he said. “I wrote the first letter the day you left. And by the end

 

of that year, when you didn’t reply, I stopped writing. I felt like an old man making a

 

complete fool of himself…the old married guy chasing after the cute young stud who

 

wasn’t interested anymore. I was so utterly devastated I took a year off from my practice

 

and buried myself in renovating the house. And I have never written anyone else a letter

 

since then.”

 

“I never received any letters,” he said, shaking his head. Then he raised his

 

eyebrows and sighed. “It must have been my mother who took them. She was always the

 

first one at the mailbox.”

 

Kadin pulled him closer and pressed his palm on the small of his back. He didn’t

 

care about old letters or the past. Gregory was a man. He was here in his arms now, and

 

that was all that mattered.

 

Gregory’s body went limp and he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Then

 

Kadin’s hand went down and he squeezed Gregory’s ass hard. He pressed his nose into

 

his soft neck, took a deep breath and said, “I’m so glad you finally came home, babe.”

 

Then he grabbed his ass with both hands and they kissed. When Kadin shoved his

 

tongue into his mouth, it was still as soft and sweet as he’d remembered. He gobbled his

 

lips and sucked his tongue. A warm sensation passed through his body and the world

 

stopped moving. While he explored the inside of his mouth, he took deep breaths through

 

his nose because he was on the verge of panting. His heart raced and his penis grew to a

 

full-sized erection again. When he bucked his hips forward and pressed it into his groin,

 

Gregory lowered his left hand and placed his palm on the shaft. He rubbed it up and down while they kissed, then pulled his head back and said,

 

“Let’s go back to the house.”

 

Kadin stuck his tongue out and licked his lips with two quick strokes. He said,

 

“You’re really going to think this is weird, but I still have the same mattress from our

 

first time.”

 

“The old mattress with the yellow corners?” Gregory asked. “That’s actually a

 

little disgusting, if not creepy.” Then he licked the tip of his index finger and ran it down

 

the length of Kadin’s torso. “You’re a very peculiar man sometimes.”

 

Kadin shrugged and tilted his head sideways. “I couldn’t get rid of it, and it really

 

wasn’t that old. Maybe it is creepy, but I’ve been sleeping there every night since you left.

 

Don’t worry, I had it thoroughly cleaned and fumigated a long time ago.”

 

Gregory smiled a real smile for the first time since he’d arrived, as if knowing this

 

one simple fact about an old mattress somehow validated all the pain he’d been through.

 

He pushed Kadin off his body and said, “I’ll race you. Last one back to the house has to

 

be the bottom.”

 

They ran fast, Kadin pulling the back of Gregory’s shirt the entire time. When

 

they reached the front door, Gregory purposely slowed down and said, “After you,” so he

 

wouldn’t be the first one in the bedroom. They kicked off their shoes and pulled off their

 

socks in the front hall and went barefoot up the grand staircase. Kadin had to hold his

 

crotch because his erection was rubbing against his pants. Halfway up the stairs, Gregory

 

unzipped his pants and let them drop on a middle step. He pulled of his shirt and his

 

underpants at the top of the stairs and ran into the master bedroom naked. Kadin was already flat on his back on the bed. By the time Gregory jumped up on the mattress and

 

straddled his waist, he had an erection, too.

 

“Close your eyes,” Gregory said.

 

When his eyes were shut, Gregory lifted his shirt and pulled it over his head. Then

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