Take Me Home Tonight (25 page)

“Is she about to skip over the part where her clothes wound up somewhere other than the bedroom?” Violet asked Emmie.

“I'm picturing panties hanging off ceiling fans and shirts covering lamps,” Emmie said. “You?”

“A can of whipped cream on the coffee table?” Violet said.

“Chocolate syrup dribbled all over the floor?” Emmie looked totally serious.

“Yes, and don't forget the stripper pole in the living room 'cause I totally rocked it. Now, can we get back to my humiliation?” She noted their twinge of pity, so she forged ahead. “Anyhow, it took him forever to come back with my clothes. And by the time he did, and I got dressed and went out there, there was a party in full swing. Music, bongs,
couples making out in corners.” He'd said something about wanting her to get to know his friends, but then he'd just left her alone. She was pretty sure he'd been avoiding her.

Of course she
had
pushed him to talk about things that made him uncomfortable. Again.

Note: You suck at dating.

“Is that why you took a cab home?”

Okay, this was embarrassing. “You saw?” Made it look like she'd thrown a tantrum.

“We heard the car door slam. Derek looked out the window and saw a cab.”

“Why didn't Calix drive you home?” Emmie tore lettuce leaves in a big bowl.

“He didn't know I'd left.” Yeah, okay? She'd thrown a tantrum.

“You bailed on him?”

“Yup.” And she didn't regret it. “Look, he's not . . . he doesn't want a relationship. And I forget that sometimes.” She thought about the flowers and the truffles, meeting her at the train in Hicksville. Inviting her dad to her show? God, that was . . . that was the sweetest thing ever. “He can be incredibly romantic. But at the end of the day, we're just dating.” She looked at each of them. “And he makes sure to remind me of that every time we get close. Because, of course, I'm always thinking there's so much more going on.”

Mimi glanced out the window. The other guys were heading to the house, but Calix hung back with his dad. She envied their comfortable rapport. She wished she had that with her dad. But she didn't because she was always trying so hard to be smart, witty—someone he'd want to be around.

Why
didn't
he want to be around her? He had enough money to last several lifetimes, so why did work still come first?

“Meems?” Violet nudged her.

“Where'd you go?” Emmie asked.

“Uh, out to the gazebo where one very hot man is standing shirtless.”

They all looked out to see Calix and Terrence. Violet laughed.

The screen door slapped shut and boots pounded into the kitchen. “What's so funny?” Derek headed straight for his woman.

A soft smile spread across Violet's pretty features. “Your face.” The woman glowed from within.

“Well, then you're gonna have a lot to laugh about since you'll be seeing it the rest of your life.” Derek wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her neck. “You smell good.”

“Long-ass day.” Ben kicked a chair out with his boot. “What's for dinner? I'm starving.”

“How 'bout washing your hands, asswipe?” Cooper flicked him with a kitchen towel.

“I'm getting there. Can I sit down first? I've been working all day.”

“Dinner's ready, so you might want to go ahead and wash up.” Mimi headed to the oven and pulled out the first tray of baked ziti. Setting it down on a trivet in the middle of the table, she turned to find Slater and Emmie in a clutch by the counter. He towered over her, swallowing her up in his muscular arms, so that all Mimi could see was the top of her head at his shoulder.

Her heart caught in her throat, and she just stood there for the longest time. Letting it sink in.
This is what love looks like.
If the band had walked into Slater and Emmie's home while they were in bed, Slater would've kicked everyone out. No question. And not because he didn't want to hang out with his bandmates, but because he cherished Emmie. He coveted his time with her.

No matter how much Calix wanted her, he still held himself back. He wasn't all in—and he'd been very clear that he couldn't be. He couldn't see a future beyond getting his family back on track. Which was why he was a session musician.
Hello.

She got a little sick realizing she was falling for a guy who couldn't be hers.

Mimi reached around Slater and Emmie and grabbed the salad bowl. After putting it on the table, she headed to the fridge to grab the dressing.

Violet intercepted her. “You okay?”

Mimi handed off the dressing to Emmie. “I guess so. As the saying goes, he's just not that into me.”

“Or maybe his life is too complicated right now.”

“Yeah, whatever. I just wish I hadn't been so pushy. Making him talk about his brother, getting Gus and his dad jobs with Blue Fire . . . God. I don't know why I can't keep my nose out of his business.”

“Because you care. That's one of the best things about you. You care so much. God, Meems, when Derek and I were broken up, you're the one who kept me sane. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be with him.” She shot her fiancé a fierce look. “I would have missed out on
this
.”

“That's not true. You two would've found your way back to each other. And that's kind of my point. I want what you and Derek have. I want a man who loves me that much.”

“That takes time. It took a while for Derek to fall for me.”

“Please. Who did the chasing in that relationship?”

Violet smiled, but her brow creased. “I tortured him. I tortured us. Don't do that, Meems. When you find love, grab it. Hold on to it. Don't be afraid of it.”

She agreed.
But what if the one you love doesn't grab you back?

“You got the dressing?” Cooper called.

“Get it yourself,” Slater said.

“It's in Emmie's hand. You want me to tackle her to the ground and pry it out of her fingers?”

“No, I want you to get off your ass so my pregnant wife doesn't have to come to you.” A chair scraped back, and Slater strode over to Emmie, kissing her cheek and placing a huge hand on her belly. And it was adorable because she wasn't even showing yet. “Sit with me. Haven't seen you all day.”

“You're gonna see her all night,” Ben said. “If you know what I mean.”

“Oh, he knows,” Coop said. “Must be tough for you, Benny. After a whole day of beating the skins, last thing you must want to do is beat—” Derek cuffed the back of his head. “Hey.”

“Watch your mouth around my bride.”

“Bride,” Ben said. “Jesus Christ, what's happened to you guys? We're supposed to be having fun.”

“Yeah, man, we're rock stars. Rock stars don't get
married
.” Coop made a face. “They don't have
babies.
”

“Oh, we have fun.” Derek gave Violet a very hot and wicked grin. “We have lots of fun.”

“Babies are fun,” Emmie said.

“No, angel, making babies is fun,” Slater said.

“Our baby will be fun,” Emmie said. “You'll see.”

Chairs scraped back as Emmie and Slater sat down at the table.

“Christ, what're you gonna do when we tour? Don't tell me you're gonna bring that squalling, red-faced—” Again, Derek cuffed the back of Coop's head. “Would you cut it out?”

“You're talking about my nephew.”

“You know it's a boy?” Mimi asked.

Emmie smiled. “Still too soon. Twelve weeks, remember?”

“Speaking of weeks,” Derek said. “Our wedding's
next
week. Do we even have a guest list yet?”

Ben shook his head. “Never thought I'd hear shit like that come out of your mouth.”

“Word.” Offering Ben a fist bump, Cooper grabbed a slice of garlic bread.

“We don't really need one,” Violet said. “It's just us.”

“Mimi's gonna need a headcount, though, right?” Derek asked. “She'll need to know how much food to make.”

“You can always elope,” Cooper said helpfully.

“We're not eloping.” Derek's chair shot back, and he crossed the kitchen to lift Violet and set her on the counter. “We're exchanging our vows in front of all you fuckers.” He turned to Mimi. “Okay, we've got what, nine people?”

Nine? He must've been including Calix and Terrence. “No, Francesca and Irwin are coming back for it.”

“Cool. Eleven.”

“Mom,” Emmie said.

Derek shrugged. “Under twenty.”

Violet shot Mimi a concerned look. “I don't even have a dress.”

“We'll go shopping this weekend,” Mimi said.

“Don't care what you wear.” Derek pressed a kiss to his bride's mouth. “Wanna marry you.”

Violet's expression turned all sweet and soft. She threaded her fingers through Derek's shoulder-length hair and said, “Oh, that's gonna happen. Fancy dress or not.”

The moment Derek and Violet started making out, it was time for Mimi to move on. To keep things simple, Violet had decided to skip a formal wedding cake and just go with Nonna's desserts, so that was easy enough. She'd get the invitations finished tonight. Given the guest list—just bandmates and close family, she didn't need to send them, but Violet saw them more as a keepsake, so Mimi would get them in the mail tomorrow.

She thought about sending one to the Bourbons. Would Calix even come? A wedding seemed a little too chummy. Without even thinking, she glanced out the window to see him.

But he wasn't there. He wasn't in the backyard. Or the wildflower fields.

Calix had left.

He'd left.

She hadn't heard from him since the text he'd sent her last night after she'd bailed on his impromptu party, asking where she'd gone.

Tonight, he'd been right there, in her backyard, and he hadn't bothered to come in and see her.

Wow. Talk about a wake-up call. He wasn't kidding when he said they were just dating.

Too bad she'd passed dating weeks ago.

“Nothing could keep me away, my love.”

Mimi hunkered under the covers, phone at her ear, unreasonably happy that her mom would be home for Violet's wedding. “Even if you can only stay such a short time?”

“I wouldn't miss it for anything.”

“Is Irwin still coming with you?”

“Of course. Between you and me, I think he'll welcome the break. He says he rues the day he ever signed this band. They're absolute ruffians.” Her mom exhaled harshly. “I'm talking about bar brawls, naked women wandering hotel hallways, estranged relatives showing up with demands. It's like a soap opera, which is what he hates most about working with bands. This one's so talented, it makes it doubly frustrating for him.”

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Her mom talked a lot about Irwin's business. She worried her mom wasn't seeing to her own interests.

“Enormously. He joins me on my travels whenever he can, but I'm quite content to explore on my own. We had a lovely week in Fiji, and when I get back from Violet's wedding, I've got a trip planned to New Zealand.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“How's Violet handling running things without me?”

“With the help you guys hired, she's doing okay. She misses you, though. You guys have a rhythm together.”

“Oh, I know. I miss it. Do you know I dream of wildflowers? Tea leaves? As much as I'm enjoying my travels, I do miss the farm. And you. You, most of all.”

“I miss you, too, Mom.”

After a pause her mom said, “Sweetheart, when are you going to talk to me?”

“I am talking to you.”

“Do you think anyone on this earth knows your voice better than I do?”

Rolling onto her side, she drew her knees up, curling into a little pillbug. “Probably not. I'm kind of a mess right now. I mean, I should be one year into my career, and instead I'm in this crazy cooking competition that Dad thinks is stupid and a huge waste of my time. I guess I'm scared I'm going to win, apprentice for Verna, and then find out he still won't hire me. And then what will I do? I'll be more than two years out from graduation with nothing to show for it.”

“Nothing? After appearing on the
Verna Bloom Show
, how can you think you'll have nothing? You'll have a whole new world of opportunities. Television production, culinary arts—those seem like exciting possibilities. And so what if your dad doesn't hire you? Can you imagine no other career that will make you happy?”

“I worked damn hard for this career, and there's not a chance I'm giving up.” It was more than just working with her dad. It was carrying on his legacy.

Oh, get real
. She knew that wasn't the issue. Not by a longshot. “I just want to work with my dad. Why . . .”

“Go on.”

“Do you think maybe he just doesn't
like
me? I've done everything he's asked, and he still doesn't hire me. He barely spends any time with me. Do you think—”

“Stop right there. Your father adores you. But I know exactly what you're feeling, because I felt the same way. And unfortunately, I didn't figure out what was really going
on until I divorced him. Sweetheart, your father's been working since he was eleven years old. And here's a secret. No amount of money in his bank account will make him feel safe.”

She'd kind of suspected that.

“You have to remember that every time his family got evicted, they had to find somewhere to live until they could save up enough money to rent a new place. That meant barely anything to eat, no school supplies or new clothes. You think this is about you—about some inadequacy he sees in
you
, but you're wrong. Fear drives him. Fear from a deprived and insecure childhood. If he's pushing you, it's because he never wants you to know what it's like to go without. Perhaps he's going about it the wrong way, but he believes the path he's building for you will ensure you're never without a job or money or a roof over your head.”

“I didn't . . . I mean, I knew that stuff about him. His childhood. But I guess I never saw it like that. I'm so preoccupied with him not hiring me that I wasn't looking at it from his perspective.” She rolled onto her back, stretching her legs out. It hadn't made sense before. Her dad loved her—she'd never doubted that—but he just didn't have time for her. But now she understood why. And it had nothing to do with her. “Good talk, Ma.”

Her mom laughed. “Glad it helped. Listen, my love, it's late. Get some sleep, and plan on seeing us next Thursday. We'll likely head back on Sunday.”

“Love you, Mom.”

“I love you, sweetheart.”

Mimi set her phone on the nightstand and reached for the body lotion. Pouring some into her palm, she rubbed her hands together and then spread it up her arms and around her elbows.

Hearing her mom's perspective of her dad opened something up inside her. The restaurant world saw him as this all-powerful, supremely successful restaurateur, but deep down he was the little boy with an empty stomach delivering bread for the bakery next door to help his parents pay the rent.

Turning off the lamp, she shifted lower and pulled the quilt up, rolling onto her side.

A rap at her door put her senses on alert. “Yeah?” Maybe Violet needed to talk about the wedding.

“Meems?” That was definitely not Violet's voice.

She sat up, covering her chest with the sheet. What was he doing here? “Come in.”

The door slowly pushed open and six feet four inches of hard-bodied man blocked the yellow light of the hallway. “What's up?”

Intense energy rolled off him. “I fucked up last night.”

She had about a second of relief and happiness before a sharp stroke of clarity hit her. “You made a choice, that's all.”
You didn't choose me.

She couldn't see his expression, but he didn't move and he didn't offer a response.

Not being able to see his reaction empowered her. So she continued. “But that choice made me feel pretty shitty. So I left.” The sheet dropped. “And I don't want to feel shitty. I don't want to constantly have to hold back my feelings and question myself. I don't like it.” She liked him so much, but she didn't like the way he made her feel.

She had to do this. “Calix?”

“Yeah?”

“I don't want to date you anymore.”

He took a few more steps toward the bed. “I don't blame you.” He didn't sound too broken up over it.

And that
hurt
.

His thighs hit the mattress. “I'm not so great at this dating thing.”

“No, you are, actually. It's me.” She could see it so clearly now. “You've been incredible. Flowers, truffles, a picnic. Getting my dad to come to the show, the cooking lessons . . . you've been better than great. When people date, they don't have to see each other every day. They don't have to text and call and check in.
Couples
do that. I'm the one jumping ahead. And that's not your fault. It's mine. I'm just . . .” Emboldened, she charged forward. “I'm crazy about you. I want more. I want everything.” And she realized right then
she couldn't have it with him. “But you don't. I get it. That's fine. But I just can't date you anymore.”

“Fuck that.” Fingers on the duvet, he loomed over her. “This isn't dating. It's never been dating. I've been calling it that to keep myself in check because I'm falling so fast and hard I can't get my damn bearings. I want you, Mimi. I want every fucking part of you that I can wrap my hands around. And don't tell me you don't get that when we're in bed, because I don't think I've ever come undone the way I do with you.”

Her pulse spiked, and she wanted to pause this moment until each sexy, gorgeous word sank in, so she could actually feel them underneath her skin. “Well, you're a good lover. You like sex.”

“Fuck, yeah, I like sex.” His knees hit the mattress, and he climbed over her. “But what we do isn't sex. You take me to a place I've never been. And I'm telling you right now I am not leaving it anytime soon. Not a fucking chance.”

A dangerous heat shot through her as she looked into his fiery eyes.

“For three years I've been running on a damn treadmill. Not getting anywhere but hustling just the same. And then you come along and knock me off my stride. And, no, that has not gone down smoothly. I keep telling myself all kinds of bullshit just so I can get back on and keep doing what I've been doing. Because if I get off? If I get off and things go bad? I will not handle that well. But last night I was lying in bed missing the fuck out of you, and all that bullshit I like to tell myself to keep you at arm's length did not ring true. Not anymore. And I had to face the truth. This—” His hand flicked back and forth between them. “
Us
is freaking me the fuck out.”

She wanted to say something but knew he wasn't done.

Tugging on his scruff, he turned slightly away from her. “Losing my brother was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I
loved
him.”

His Adam's apple jumped as he rubbed his thighs. “I loved my brother. I know there was a lot mixed in with that. Frustration and guilt. Anger. He drove me crazy. But I loved
him. And . . .” He cautiously looked back at her. “I don't know if I can do that again. Open up to all that . . .” He let out a breath. “I don't know.”

She nodded. He couldn't love that wholly again. She got it. What could she say? She appreciated his honesty. But did it mean he couldn't love her? And if so . . . could she really stay with him?

“And last night, talking about him? Truth is, I haven't talked about Hopper in three years.” He leaned back on an arm, twisting to face her. “That was tough. And that memory in particular? Fuck. That one sucks.”

“I'm sorry. I keep doing that, pushing you too hard.”

“Thing is, I don't think . . . if you didn't push . . .” He sighed. “I felt better after telling you. I've held on to it so long, and talking about it? The guilt . . . it eased up a little. You know?”

She nodded, too aware of the warmth in his eyes, the heat from his skin. She'd resigned herself to moving on, but the connection between them crackled like always. It wasn't over.

“I missed you.” He finally looked up at her. “All my friends were there, but I didn't want to be with them. I wanted to be with you. And then you didn't answer my text, and I knew I'd fucked up.” Bringing her palm to his mouth, he kissed her. “I don't think I have it in me to love again.”

The pain slammed her hard. God, what was her problem? She'd
known
that.

“But I can't
not
do it. I can tell myself all kinds of shit to justify keeping a distance between us, but it's not working. It's not fucking working, Meems. I can't stay away from you.”

Hope crashed through her. “I don't want you to stay away from me.”

“I gotta have you, sweet pants.” Threading his fingers through her hair, he brushed it off her shoulder. “I suck at it, but . . .” He shrugged. “You gonna bear with me?”

“I'm gonna bear with you.”

His smile was slow to bloom, but as it spread his hard features turned soft and warm. And she found him utterly irresistible.

He leaned into her, cupping her cheek. “Now can I kiss that mouth?”

She nestled into his hand. “Sweet cheeks, when you're all sweet like this, you can do just about anything you want.”

“Good.” A hint of a smile curved his lips as he stroked her jaw. “Because it's mine.” And then he kissed her.

Doubt floated away as she sank into the warmth and indescribable softness of his mouth. Happiness, pure and clean, flowed through her. He was falling for her just as hard—his journey would be different, but that was okay. Because he couldn't stop himself. She might be rushing headlong into him, and he might be bobbing and weaving, but they would meet. Eventually, soon, they would collide in a fiery crack of love.

His hand pushed under her tank top, sweeping up her stomach to cup her breast. “I'm sorry I didn't take care of you last night.”

Yeah. She would so bear with him. “Calix.” She said it on a sigh because his hands felt so good, caressing her body with such reverence. And she understood his struggle. He'd done a really good job of keeping himself cut off from relationships with any depth—but with her? He was pushing himself out of his comfort zone, and she was the lucky girl who got to unearth all the treasures he kept hidden.

He brushed his lips over the sensitive skin of her neck. “You smell so good.”

“It's my lotion. I just put it on.”

“Got any more?”

As she reached for it, he grabbed his T-shirt behind his neck and yanked it off.

Instantly, heat suffused her. All that strength and musculature wrapped up in warm caramel-colored skin had her aching for his touch.

He stood up to unbutton and pull off his jeans, and when he turned to toss them on a chair, she got a good look at his tight, round ass in black boxer briefs.
This man is mine. Holy cow. Calix Bourbon is mine.

“Shirt off, Mimi.”

Oh, Lordy. Heat streamed through her as she pulled off her shirt, tossing it onto the floor.

Calix climbed onto the bed, leaning over her. He kissed the spot just under her ear. “I want to make you feel good.”

Settling back on her pillow, she handed him the bottle and watched the scented white liquid spill into his hand. Then, tipping it over, he let the cool lotion drizzle onto her collarbone, her cleavage, and down her stomach. Each strike against her skin was a little shock of cold that instantly warmed, but it was the hungry look in his eyes that made her burn.

Those powerful thighs straddled hers as he caressed her collarbone, spreading the lotion across her chest. Gentle pressure and the sensuous glide relaxed her muscles, but looking into those dark eyes and seeing the desire, the barely leashed hunger, kept electricity buzzing through her system.