Take Me There (32 page)

He’s waiting for an answer. So I go, “Yeah, I am.”

And he’s all, “I’m getting a slice . . . would you like to join me? My treat.” And the way he smiles at me makes me melt all over the sidewalk and I can’t believe this is finally happening and I’ve only been waiting forever for this instant to be real.

So I say, “Sure. Thanks.” I’m all proud of how calm and collected I sound.

And we walk and he asks where I live and I tell him and he’s like, “We’re neighbors,” which is not exactly a news flash but it feels good to hear him say it.

Then we get to this pizza place that’s standard but good, and we get our slices and sit at the counter. I arrange my stuff and give him some napkins, and he takes a big bite of pizza, and I’m so nervous I could hurl.

But I don’t hurl. Somehow I manage to swallow my pizza while Mr. Farrell talks, and I even laugh at some of the corny jokes he tells. By the time we leave, I’m feeling great. Just like Tuesday after school when it totally felt like we were chilling as friends, just hanging out and having a great time, but also with that exciting attraction thing going on. I feel like we’ve just had our second date. Everything about it feels that way.

So we walk up to West 73rd Street, and I’m like, “Here’s my street.”

And he’s like, “Okay, well . . . see you tomorrow.” And it’s like time stops or something. We’re just standing there, looking at each other, waiting. Waiting for the other one to do something. And I just . . . decide. Right here, right now, I decide to make it happen. Because I’m tried of waiting for him to come to me.

I say, “You know what? I kind of feel like walking.”

He doesn’t even look surprised. He says, “Oh? Well . . . I’m up here on Eightieth,” and so we walk. I don’t even know what I’m doing yet. I just know I have to do something.

When we’re outside his building and he’s like, “Well . . . this is me,” I almost say, “I know.” But instead I just look at him. And he just looks at me. And we’re just looking at each other like we’re seeing each other in a different way. And he goes, “So . . .”

I take a step closer to him. And he’s not going anywhere, so I take another step. And now we’re standing so close, and the streetlight is reflecting off his eyes and I can see these little flecks of gold in them. And I don’t want to think anymore. I want this to happen, the same way it’s already happened so many times in my dreams, and I don’t want to think about it. I just want to do what I’ve been waiting so long for.

But then he says, “Well . . . good night.”

And I’m like, “Oh . . . yeah . . . see you tomorrow . . .” but I’m still waiting in case he changes his mind. But he doesn’t and he walks up his stairs and goes in and the door swings shut, and just like last time, I’m all alone.

I see the light go on. I know which one is his.

HERE’S WHAT IT
is with Gloria’s note. If you ask me? We definitely did the right thing. But Ree’s feeling guilty and like it was too much, and she’s worrying that instead of karma it was just mean. So I explained that all we did was take who Gloria really is and put it out there for the world to see. Which was actually flattering in a way, if you think about it. Because if Gloria wasn’t really using Jackson and she actually liked him, then that means she has depth and a soul and she’s not just some bitchy superficial boyfriend swiper. And I explained how you get what you give, and Gloria’s been giving out a lot of muck all this time.

But whatever.

I just heard Ree being called to the principal’s office, and it doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to know what happened. Gloria totally turned her in because Ree is the first chick in line seeking Gloria revenge. And now Ree would be about to take the entire blame for this, because there’s no way she’s going to tell on us, which is so unfair since she wasn’t even the one who thought of it.

Which is why we promised her that’s not going to happen.

See, we already predicted it would go like this. So now it’s time for Operation Day After. Which is what we all agreed on if Ree got in trouble. We also agreed not to tell her about it, because we knew she’d never let us go through with it.

I’m lurking in the hall waiting for my signal when I see Jackson getting a drink. I whisper, “Jackson!” And he looks around and sees me, and I wave him over.

He goes, “Thanks for the note back.”

And I go, “Oh, that. Well . . . someone I know found it.” Danny told me how he snuck the original note back in Jackson’s bag before first period.

He looks around at all the copies plastered on the walls. He goes, “So. Someone really wanted to get back at Gloria, huh?”

I’m like, “I guess.” And the way he’s looking at me it’s so obvious he knows I was involved in this, but he probably thinks that I did it just because of what he told me yesterday. He has no idea this was planned before.

I’m like, “Hey. You want to do something badass?”

And I swear I’ve never seen someone look more excited about the possibility of getting in trouble.

Danny is mad gassed. He stops me in the hall before lunch and he’s talking a mile a minute about how all these people said they’re voting for him and he’s gotten really good feedback on his posters and he’s already making all these plans for next year when he’s president and his speech is in the bag and he’s stoked.

So I’m nodding and smiling and listening, but I’m also thinking about the pizza I’m missing. Because today is pizza day and if you don’t get there early you miss all the big pieces and the ones that are actually cooked right. But Danny’s so excited—and it’s not like we’re not friends or anything—so I’m listening.

And he’s buzzing and smiling all big and rambling, and he goes, “Are you going to the dance with anyone?”

I’m so shocked I’m not even sure I heard him right. Like, is he asking me to the dance? After I dumped him?

So I go, “Not really. I mean, I’m going with Rhiannon . . . so . . .”

He’s like, “Would you go with me?”

And looking at Danny with all his passion and excitement and cute new haircut, I can’t even remember why we broke up. What was I thinking? There must have been a good reason, which I just can’t think of right now. But I still want to go with him, so I say, “Okay.”

He’s like, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. We’re going. Cool.”

And all of a sudden I’m going to the dance with my ex-boyfriend, who I broke up with for some reason I’m sure I’ll remember any second now. I mean, yeah, he’s a good person and all, but it’s not like everything was perfect.

It’s not like Danny is the most amazing thing ever.

Danny is the most amazing thing ever.

We’re in the auditorium for the big student-council assembly, where all the candidates for next year’s student council are giving their speeches. So far we’ve heard all the treasurer and secretary and vice-president speeches, and now Danny’s giving his. And I guess in a way I forgot how he is and how intense he gets about things he’s into (like politics and winning this election) and all of his energy is like vibrating right across the room into me, and I’m zinging. I forgot how he can be even better than sugar.

I look around and try to figure out if people are interested or bored or if it’s mixed. Danny’s speech is very antiwar, anti-people being mean to each other because that’s what leads to war, which you pretty much have to agree with or else what does that say about you? And suddenly this wave of sadness washes over me, because I can picture Danny practicing his speech with James and working on drafts of it and asking Carl and Evan for advice on what to say, and I feel so left out and like I really missed sharing an important part of his life. His speech is so good, though.

And then he holds up this sign that says PEACE. He just holds it up, standing there, not saying anything for like a whole minute. Which doesn’t sound like a long time, but a minute of silence when you’re supposed to be giving your speech is like an eternity. And I’m in this daze, just staring at him and the sign and thinking of everything it means to him, to us. And it’s like I have this epiphany. Right here in the third row, I have an epiphany.

I still love Danny. I never stopped loving Danny. And all of a sudden, why I broke up with him is crystal.

It’s like the worst case of déjà vu ever when I realize that I’m stuck in the bathroom with Gloria again. Except this time, she’s crying.

She came in while I was peeing, and I just knew it was her by the way her heels clacked across the floor. You know how some people have this way of walking that you can recognize without even seeing them? Yeah.

So there I was doing my thing, and she clacked over to the sinks and then . . . she just started crying. Like out of nowhere. Which is totally freaking me out, because it’s like,
Welcome to me at therapy yesterday
all over again.

And it’s not like she doesn’t know at least one other person is in here. Especially when I flush the toilet. But it’s so wild, because even that doesn’t stop her. She keeps crying. I didn’t know that Gloria even knew how to cry.

I slide the lock and push the stall door open and walk over to the sinks. I don’t look over at her. I just wash my hands and notice that there are actually paper towels today, and wow look there’s soap too, it’s like a miracle. And this whole time, she’s standing two sinks down from me, wiping her eyes and looking in the mirror. And not caring at all that I’m seeing her like this.