Taken Over (Book 2 The Ravening Series) (26 page)

   His grin widened as he took the heavy bag
from me
. “I like presents.”

  
“I know you do.”

   I followed him into the house, nodding greetings to some of the people that I recognized.
It seemed as if the group had thinned down even more. I was sure I’d hear the reason for why, but I wasn’t ready for it now. Now I simply wanted to enjoy being with my family again, and a wonderfully hot, long shower.
Molly grinned at me and waved energetically with a ball of dough clutched in her hand. I waved back as we moved past the kitchen and down the hall. The house had an old feel to it but it was in exceptional condition with fresh paint, and bright sunny rooms
that had
a homey quality that helped me to relax. For a moment I could almost feel safe again.

   Aiden led us onto
the back
porch
that was
enclosed with giant panels of glass.
The sun glinted off the glass and lit the dancing field of grass and wildflowers that rolled through the backyard. I took a moment to stop and admiring the soft beauty before me.
It may not be the world I had always known anymore, but its beauty could still rob me of my breath. It could still awe me completely.

  
My eyes were drawn from the field as Aiden stepped past me into the room.
Furniture had been shoved to the side and tables placed about. It seemed that Bishop had not expected us to fail
in our mission
and was well prepared for us
. Bishop looked up at us, breaking into a bright grin as he shoved his glasses further up his nose. “It’s good to see you.”
   “You too.” My eyes were drawn back to the windows though
. “Beautiful.”

   “It is,”
Bishop agreed but he was already going through the bags that had been placed on one of the tables. “You guys did great. Was it difficult?”

   I didn’t feel like answering that question
and apparently neither did Jenna, Bret, or Lloyd as they all remained silent.
Bishop
wasn’t
overly concerned about an answer either as he was now eagerly pawing through Lloyd’s bag. There was so much to discuss, so much t
o
learn and do, but all I really wanted was a hot shower and maybe even a real bed if one was
available. We could talk about everything later, but for
right now
I just wanted the simple comforts of home.
I didn’t think it was too much to ask for.

CHAPTER 10

  
It was the first time in a long time that I was not
completely filthy. I was clean;
my hair was neatly brushed
into a ponytail
and back to its soft honey hue. My stomach
rumbled slightly, but for some reason the thought of food made my stomach
turn
. I was worried that I might be getting si
ck, but I
felt
perfectly fine
.
I was still sore and slightly bone weary, but I didn
’
t feel
ill
.
M
y appetite would come back soon;
it was just buried beneath my ling
ering anxiety, fear, and disquiet.
I had tried to take a nap, but even though the mattress
was
soft and the pillows inviting, sleep eluded me. I sometimes wondered if I would ever sleep normally again.

   I studied my reflection in the mirror, unsure of the person staring back at me.
She looked harder, older,
and
wiser than her seventeen years.
My
seventeen years.
My eyes, once a sparkling bright blue
,
were
haunted. T
hey didn’t appear to be my eyes. Not anymore. These eyes belonged to a woman, one who had seen far too much,
and
experienced far more than she had wanted to in her lifetime.

  
M
y
lifetime.

  
I had to keep reminding myself that though I did not recognize her, the woman staring back at me was actually
me
.
I gently touched the corners of my eyes, understanding that it was my fingers touching them, but still oddly disassociated
with my reflection. Gone was the young
girl of only a month ago.

   This woman was harder, with more pronounced cheekbones and lean muscles honed by lack of food, exercise, and training.
I wanted to weep at the sight of me, but there were no tears. Not anymore. I pulled the sleeve of my shirt down, frowning
at the sight of the
wound
marring my shoulder.
It was healing well
,
and so far I didn’t feel anything crawling beneath my skin trying to take me over.
It w
ould
just
be
another scar to match the
scars
that still marred my hip and thigh from when that thing on the b
each had grabbed me. Scars
I would always bare to remind me of Cade’s death
, of his sacrifice for me,
and
of
my hatred f
or
our enemies
.
It could have been much worse, I reminded myself
,
but it did little to ease the sorrow swarming within me.

   So many changes, so fast. So much lost.
So much that could never be regained.

  
I rested my hand on the glass, pressing my palm flat against its cool surface. I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me; I didn’t recognize the person living within my skin. Harder, that was the only word I could think of. Just harder.
That
’
s what she was.
What
I
was.

   I knew that I had to be harder to survive, we all did, but this hard? This cold? Abby still
exuded
innocence, Aiden still managed to smile with ease,
Bishop was still excited by the prospect of learning, and
even Bret retained some of his eternal optimism.
And me, well I had nothing left of the girl I had once been. I was empty, out of sorts, callous. I retained love for my family and friends, but I wasn’t so sure I
even
liked myself anymore.

   How could
anyone
like me anymore?

   I sighed, my shoulders collapsed beneath the weight of my thoughts. I pushed back a lock of my hair. I needed to get out of here, needed to escape if only for an hour or two. I needed to be alone.
Though I knew it was impossible
,
what I truly wanted was to escape my
self
, to flee from the stranger staring back at me.
To shed her like a snake sheds skin.

   I pulled my sleeve back up, covering the wound as I thought over the layout of the house. It was funny, the world’s population had been drastically reduced, yet I never had a chance to be alone for long
anymore
.
There was little privacy in this world, and
only one chance to escape.

   I
slipped two pistols into my waistband. Unfortunately, my rifle had been left downstairs. There was no way that I could retrieve it without being seen, and stopped. Shoving the window open I peered down at the ground. I
t
was
the second story, but if I hung out the window it wouldn’t be that far of a drop to the long grass below.
A month ago I never would have contemplated such an action, I would have most certainly
broken my ankles, n
ow I had no fear that such a thing would happen, I was agile enough to pull this off.

   I wiggled out the window, grasping the sill with both my hands before releasing it and dropping to the earth. I rolled upon landing, softening the impact.
S
wiftly
regaining
my feet,
I
quickly scanned the area and bolted for the woods. I took pleasure in the act of running, took pleasure in the freedom of the moment. Something inside of me seemed to
spring forth
, twisting and growing as
I plunged into the forest.

   Joy filtered through me as I ran, jumping and darting, avoiding obstacles with a grace that I had never possessed until this moment. I didn’t stop to think about that, didn’t pause to wonder how on earth I hadn’t managed to kill myself yet
in this heedless dash
. I just ran until I couldn’t breathe, until my legs hurt so bad I could hardly take it, and then I ran some more.

   I was
free
.

   And I wasn’t going to stop, not now. If it had been physically possible I never would have stopped.
But I couldn’t run forever, something that my body was firmly reminding me of now. I fell, tried to climb back to my fee
t, but the exhaustion of my muscles
finally
outweighed my intense desire for f
light
. I fell back to the ground, my fingers d
u
g into the leaves
and pine needles
beneath me as I panted rapidly. For a moment, as I lay there, inhaling the musty scent of decaying leaves and wet earth, I found peace.
I found comfort in my world, my Earth.

   I let it wash over me;
let it soothe
me as it settled into my bones, into my cells, into my very soul. In this moment of utter aloneness and
freedom, I
finally f
ound
the tranquility I had been so desperately seeking
. It
did not hea
l my broken heart
,
but
it
helped to
salvage
the pain of my savaged spirit. It was like putting aloe on sunburn, it helped to ease the sting of the pain, but the burn was still present
beneath the cool balm
.
But it felt better, in that moment
I
felt better.