Taken Over (Book 2 The Ravening Series) (46 page)

   My
heart melted, I could only stand there in stunned silence as I listened to him.
H
is words were so fervent and
passionate that I was
struck
breathless
by them
. They were
beautiful
; his
love
for me was
rare and wondrous
, even if it was strange and
extraordinary
.
He was beautiful, and even though I wasn’t, I realized now just how beautiful he thought I was.
How beautiful he had always thought I was.

  
“I didn’t know,” I whispered
, aching for the fear and uncertainty such a young boy must have felt when it happened
.
He had been unprepared, all alone, frightened, and hungry. That such a young child had restrained from taking what he wanted, when that was what his kind apparently did all the time anyway, was astonishing. That he had done it for
me
was astronomical.
“I
’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

   “I was never alone Bethany, not with you there.”

   A sob tore free of me, a wrenching agony twisted through my chest
. So
poignant
, so deep and heartfelt, and yet so lost. “I
did
n
’t
realize
,
until all of this happened
,
that I had always loved you.
That I had from that
first
moment also.
I
knew it on some basic, instinctive level that I had buried
deep
within me in order to keep from being hurt
by you again
. Because you
did
go
away
,
you
did
leave me Cade.
You weren’t there.
After
the Marshall’s
died, you only ever came back to me
the night of my father’s funeral. And then you never came back again
.
”

   His smile was self depreciating. “I didn’t want you to know
what I was
Bethany
, ever
.
I never wanted you to know what I was, what I struggled with. I simply wanted you to see the good in me, to
love
the good in me. The good that you
gave
to me,
that without you I never would have had.
I couldn’t bear for you to see the evil
in me
. I had to go away Bethany
, and I couldn’t come back
i
i I was going to keep you safe
.
”

   “Why?” I whispered, my lip trembling. Emotions ricochet
ed
through me faster than a bullet in a metal room. “Why did you have to go?
You never would have hurt me
Cade
. You controlled
The Calling
as a boy of five, why couldn’t you do
the same
at seven, ten, or even fifteen?
”

   “Because they would have killed you too.”

  
I started in surprise. “
Who
would have killed me
too
?”

   He took a step closer to me. I could see the yearning in his gaze fo
r me, his desire to hold me
, to have me understand
.
“The Marshall’s were not killed during a
random
home invasion. They were killed because of me.”

   “I don’t understand,” I whispered.

   “We don’t feel emotion Bethany. We don’t care for anything other than ourselves and our gratification. We don’t exhibit love for anyone. I was young; I was unbelievably stunned to have met you. I was in love, and though I thought I hid that fact well, I
didn
’
t
.
My kind noticed
something in me, something different, but they miscalculated where that difference came from. They had assumed that it was the Marshall’s I had come to
feel for
.
After I met you
I did
grow to
like them, they were nice enough
people
, but I still felt little for them other than
thanks for providing me with
shelter
and food
.
My love for you did not spread to others. I cared for them more than I
ha
d before, but their deaths did not
overly
sadden me.

   “But after they were murdered I knew I had to stay away from you.
My kind
couldn’t realize that they had been wrong, that it was
you
that had changed me
. They would have killed you then
, and they would not have been as kind about it as they had been to the Marshall’s
.”

   I had been struggling all along to remain standing. My legs finally gave up the battle. Sliding down the bark of the trunk, I stared at him in stunned silence, unable to fully process all that he was saying.
Horror filled me, I was half afraid I might vomit.
“They died because of
me
?” I croaked out.

   Cade was suddenly before me. There was so much sorrow in his eyes, so much pain in his expression as his hands gently clasped hold of my cheeks. “They died because of
me
Bethany,
b
ecause I was not strong enough
to hide my
newfound
feelings
,
because I could not control what I felt for you
. I promised myself that I would stay away from you
after that
, that I would keep
my distance and keep
you safe, no matter
what I had to do to make sure of it
.
No matter
how much it killed me to s
tay away
when you were the only thing I wanted, the only thing I thought of
.
It didn’t matter how much it hurt me, how much your feelings were hurt, I
had to keep you alive. I had to keep you away from them and I did everything I could to ensure your survival
.
”

  
My chest was
so
constricted with love and sorrow
that I could hardly breathe
.
“The night of my dad’s funeral…”

   “Your pain was so intense I could feel it all the way ac
ross town. No we aren’t
empath’s
,” he explained
at
my questioning
, stunned
look. “But I’m bonded to you somehow
, I always have been
. I’m connected to you in an intense
,
intimate way that c
annot
be broken
. I couldn’t stay away from you that night, couldn’t let you go through that alone. I
had
to come to you because your pain was my pain. I wished every day after that I could return to you, but I couldn’t risk it. I just couldn’t.”

   I didn’t realize I was crying until he wiped the tears from my cheeks. Didn’t realize how badly I ached for him
until
he bent and kissed m
e
gently. “
Even now
,” he breathed against me. His breath was warm, sweet, and reassuring
against my flesh.
“I should
have
stay
ed
away
from you
, I should have stayed gone. I fel
t your grief for me, your pain
and loss even through the distance separating us.
I struggled to keep my own agony concealed from them
, struggled to convey to them that I was still one of them. That I wasn’t different, and I did well with it.
I couldn’t leave
right away
though, couldn’t flee. T
o r
un from them w
ould
have
put you in
even more
danger, they would
have
hunt
ed
me, search
ed
for me relentlessly.
I had to stay away, but I couldn’t bare your anguish,
I
had
to give you hope…”

   “My dream,” I whispered in awe.

   “Yes, I wanted you to move on…”

   “I couldn’t. I never could.
I tried and I accepted the fact that you were wrong but I couldn’t move on from you Cade. It’s not, it’s not like that with me, I simply couldn’t…
”

   “
Shh
love, I know. I understand.
” He kissed my cheeks gently as my voice broke off on a wrenching sob that lodged in my chest.
“
But your life could continue on with some hope in it; that was all I wanted to give you. And to hold you once more, even if it was just
in
a dream. But when they hurt you…”
His words trailed off, his jaw clenched as his eyes simmered with black fire. “If you were killed, I would have known it.
I felt your pain
through my bo
nd
to you
, to feel your death…

   He inhaled a shuddery breath, for a brief moment the black shifted throughout his entire eye
again
. I was breathless as I watched him slowly reel the fury and despair back in. “
I couldn’t live with that, I would have snapped.
I had vowed to keep you safe my entire life
,
and in that moment I
knew I had
failed.
I couldn’t stay away from you anymore
; I couldn’t let them hurt you again
.
I convinced
my kind t
hat I would be more useful on the ground
,
as I knew more about humans
and was more adept at blending in with them
, and they agreed to let me come back.
They don’t know where I am, but they believe that I am on their side.
If they find me, if they catch us together, what they will do to you…
”