Taken Over (Book 2 The Ravening Series) (48 page)

   I was stunned, shocked by his words. “Cade…”

   His hands tightened on mine, he leaned closer, his eyes narrowed intently. “It’s not something I want Bethany. The idea of it...” He shuddered; his entire eye became completely black again. “It would shred me, but if you want a child…”

   “No!” I cried, aghast at his words. “Cade that’s not what I want. That’s not what I meant.”

   “You deserve to have as much of a normal life as you can have under these circumstances. You deserve to have everything that you want in this life. You could even come back to me; I would take you back always.”

   “No! Stop it Cade! Stop it!”
I was infuriated at his words, shaken by the fact that he thought I would do such a thing. “How could you think I would do that? What do you think of me?”

   “I think you’re amazing. I also think that you deserve everything that this world has left to offer you, things I can’t offer you. I think I would do anything to see you happy even if it destroyed me. That’s what I think of you Bethany, that’s what I think of us. If one day you decide you want to have a child I will support you any way I can.”

   “I don’t want a child Cade, not in this world, not to be
hunted, afraid and hungry…”

   “It may not always be like that.”

   Anger flared hotly through me. “And I most certainly would
not
want another man’s child Cade. If we cannot have children then I will not have them. I’m ok with that. I am not ok with this conversation though so please stop, please.”

  
He sighed softly as he nodded slowly. “
If that’s what you want
.”

 
Though he said it, I knew he did not agree with it, or even consider the matter completely dropped as his eyes remained
entire
ly black.
I wasn’t willing to continue with the conversation, not when there were other more important things. “Why do you think I’m not completely human? What did you do Cade?”
 

  
He took hold of my hands, but they still felt eerily cold within his warm grip. “
Y
ou
’re not one of the Frozen Ones
because of me
love
.” I stared at him, but I was having a hard time focusing on him.
Here was my answer, finally, and I wasn’t sure that I
wanted to hear it anymore.
“Because I
was able to
change you.”

  
I struggled to see him, struggled to make out the face I loved so much
through my suddenly blurred vision
. “I don’t understand; how is that possible?”

   He rubbed his hands over mine, his eyes distant
as they slowly returned to the eyes I knew so well
. “Don’t hate me.”

  
I swallowed the tight lump in my throat heavily.
“Cade
,
what did you do?” I whispered.

   “When they told me that they were going to
start to
release the gas soon,
and who they intended to effect with it,
I
was
determined to find out what your blood type was
.
I had
to know what would become of you
and if there was some way that I could stop it
. I was able to get a hold of your medical records.” I didn’t ask how, I was certain he could do anything he put his mind to.
Hell for all I knew m
y doctor was one of them too.
“I considered allowing you to freeze and trying to keep you safe after that, but I knew there was no way I could guarantee
your safety, or
any certainty
that I would be able to wake you up again
.
T
here was no way to
know if
they would kill you immediatel
y
if I brought you to one of the holding cells
.
T
o move you…”

   I shook my head at him. I knew how hard it would have been to move me, to keep me safe
in
that
state
. We had lost my mom
,
and Peter
,
soon after
T
he
F
reezing had occurred. It had been so difficult to keep
my mother
alive, so hard to even get her
even
that far into our journey. I didn’t
need t
o hear it from him
now
, not when I already knew
how hard it was
.

   “
There was only one thing I could do, no matter how dangerous it would be for you.
I g
a
ve you some of my blood.” My eyes shot up, my mouth dropped. I could only sit there and gape at him stupidly. “It was a risk, the biggest risk I ha
ve
ever taken.
My kind has performed many experiments on humans over the centuries; giving them our blood has
been
given to
humans
in the past
.
F
ew have survived.”

  
My insides were curdling up,
but they
were
no longer
the same insides that I had been born with.
I recalled Bishop’s words about my abnormal cells and I wanted to cry.
That hunger, that
craving
.
Iron
deficiency
my ass, I thought derisively.
I wanted to scream
, I wanted to rip out my hair as I fled
headlong into the woods
,
running
until I simply couldn’t run anymore.
 

   “I
had
to take the chance that you would
survive
the infusion of
my blood
into your system
. You wouldn’t have
kept moving after
T
he
F
reezing
if I didn’t take the chance
. I hoped
that
my
intense
reaction to you
, and the way that you affected me
meant that you
were special, that you
would be able to handle my blood
when most wouldn’t
. That
there was a reason I had met you; that
you would survive whatever it did to you.
After I gave it to you
I
monitored you carefully,
watched you constantly. I searched for any sign that something might go drastically wrong. But you seemed to be doing well with it
, thankfully
.
I didn’t know what I was going to do if it went the other way, it wasn’t a possibility I wanted to consider.
If you had died...
”

   He broke off, anguish twisted his features.
His hands tightened on my face, he leaned even closer. His onyx eyes filled my vision; I could feel his desperate need for my forgiveness, my understanding. I was still too shocked to offer him anything more than numbed silence at the moment. “My blood inside of you was how I was able to find you
again
;
it was also
how I was able to enter your dream.
My blood linked us permanently;
I
’ll always be able to
find you anywhere
as long as you want me to
. I
t’
s how I found you the day of The Freezing
, how I was able to save you
.
”

   My eyes widened in surprise. I had thought it was just a lucky coincidence that Cade had been near the store that day; instead he had been following me, preparing to intervene when everything I knew went to hell. The depth of everything I had never known or suspected was staggering. My head was spinning, my heart lumbered painfully in my chest as I struggled to keep a tight grip on my unraveling composure.

   “When
did you do this
?
How
did you do this?”

   “Graduation. I
was able to
put some of my blood in
to
your drink when you went to the bathroom.”

  
I had been
roofied
with alien blood at my brother’s graduation. I found sick humor in that knowledge.
“What happened to the other people that survived?”

  
Cade closed his eyes, looking slightly pained.
“They began to exhibit differences at a cellular level. They were studied for awhile, but
ultimately
destroyed when it was determined that
the effects were nothing more than abnormal blood cells.
”

   “How long?”

   “What?”

  
I cleared my throat as I struggled to get the words out.
“How long were they allowed to live for
, and studied, before they were killed
?”

   “A month, maybe two.”
   I winced at his words
.
I had been alive for
almost
five months
since he had slipped me his blood.
More than double the amount of time than any of the others.
“Why didn’t they keep them alive for longer?”

   “They’re not good creatures Bethany.”

   “I know that Cade, believe me I know that. Why?”

   “I believe they grew bored with them.”

   A single tear slid down my face, my head bowed as I gagged at his words. I knew they were right, that he was right about why they had destroyed the people so soon after they had survived the infusion of alien blood.
“So there is no way to know
if
I
wi
ll become
a monster or not
?”