Taking Chances (22 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Alex

“Could you file for custody then?” Alex asked.

“I could have, but it would have been pointless. I didn’t have a job at the time or the money for a lawyer. Michelle filed for full custody and child support. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a job; I still had to pay it. But I was lucky, like you, someone gave me a break and offered me a job in construction. I was good at it, and it didn’t take me long to work my way up and open my own company. I had a lot of help from my old boss. He was the reason for my success. Without his contacts and connections, it would have failed.”

So maybe Stu saw a little bit of me in him when he gave me a job. I would have never thought he was anything like me, Alex thought. “Your ex-wife still wouldn’t let you see Marie after you became stable, with a job? It seems like that would have been some kind of incentive for her.”

Stu laughed again, “No, I didn’t tell her I had my own business. She would have tried to clean me out for more money. After our divorce, Michelle changed. She became a different person.
Bitter and hateful. She was always demanding more money and never forgetting to tell me how much she and Marie hated me. No matter how many times I told her I was sorry about what I did, it was never enough. She couldn’t move past it, not even after she remarried. I sent plenty of money to help take care of Marie, way more than the court ordered. I also sent Marie gifts, cards, and letters on every holiday.” Stu sneered, “The cards and letters always got returned, but she kept the gifts and the money. Nice, right?”

“Shit, that’s really heartless, Stu. How could they do that?” Alex asked, staring at him in disbelief. He couldn’t understand why someone would act that way, especially when there was a child involved. The child did nothing wrong. They didn’t deserve that kind of isolation from their father.

“Well, I don’t think any of it was Marie’s fault. I’m sure her mother fed her lies about me since the day I left. Once she turned eighteen, I had the right to talk to her whenever I wanted, but she always refused my calls. It wasn’t long after her eighteenth birthday that Michelle told me she moved out. She refused to give me any information as to where she moved or how I could contact her. Marie’s twenty-two today and I have no idea where she’s at.” Stu looked down at the paper in his hands and added, “It’s been so long and I just need to see my little girl again... just once if that’s all I get.” Stu’s voice broke and he coughed. He took another swallow from his glass, trying to pull himself together. “I just need to speak to her one time. Just let her hear what I have to say; and if she doesn’t believe me, then she never has to speak to me again. Marie can continue to hate me for the rest of her life. At least then, I will know I did the best I could.”

“So she’s twenty-two now and you don’t even know what she looks like grown up?”

He sighed, “No. I can only guess she looks like her mother; a beautiful young woman now.”

“That’s horrible Stu; you weren’t even given a chance.” Alex felt awful for him. He couldn’t understand how someone could treat any person they supposedly loved that way. Sure people get divorced all the time, but you can’t just decide you don’t love someone anymore because you were hurt by them. Can you?

“Marie had some of my facial features but she had Michelle’s big, deep, brown eyes and hair. I loved Michelle’s hair. It was long and wavy and hung down her back. I could put myself to sleep running my fingers through it. She was a beautiful woman; I fell in love the minute I laid eyes on her.” Stu looked quickly at Alex, “Now don’t get me wrong, I love Roz, she’s gorgeous and sexy as hell, but I will always love Michelle for giving me Marie, despite what she’s done to me.”

Alex watched as Stu played with the paper in his hands and he caught a glimpse of the front. He pointed to it and said, “Is that a picture?”

He held it up, “Yep. It’s the last family vacation we went on before I turned into an ass. It’s Michelle, Marie and I. I think that was the best family vacation we took before I screwed everything up.” Stu stood up and handed him the picture, “Here, take a look. I’m getting another drink. You want something?”

Alex shook his head, the two beers he had at dinner were enough. Once Stu walked away, he looked down at the picture and smiled when he saw Stu standing front and center in shorts and a flowered Bermuda shirt with the ocean behind him.
On one side stood a young girl with short wavy brown hair. Her eyes were bright and wide as she smiled with her arms wrapped around her father’s waist. Alex gasped as he looked over Stu’s ex-wife and held the photo closer to his face, not believing what he was seeing. His chest heaved, the air trying to force its way into his lungs. It was her eyes, her flipped out strands of hair, the tiny wrinkles across the bridge of her nose when she smiled, and the curve of her hips. It was everything he’d already seen. It’s impossible, he thought. With Michelle and Stu standing together, Alex could see their features in Marie. But Marie was nine years older now. Just like her mother, her legs were lean and smooth, her slender neck, delicate under the touch of his lips as he remembered kissing it, tasting her skin with his tongue.  Marie grew up looking just like her mother and Alex had tasted every part of her. He couldn’t believe what his eyes and his memories were telling him.

Marie was Clair, and Stu was her father.
             

Maybe I should say something? But what if I’m wrong? It would crush Clair and piss off Stu. Alex debated with himself, and in the end, he knew it would be better to find out more information before he said anything. The last he remembered Clair saying about her dad was she hated him for leaving their family and never coming back. It all matched what Stu said earlier but why didn’t she remember the letters, the gifts, and the endless phone calls? Unless Stu was right and her mother lied to her. Maybe Clair doesn’t even know the truth, Alex thought. It didn’t matter; Stu would see Clair at lunch tomorrow. He knew that if Stu really were her father, both of them would figure it out then.

Alex turned the photo over and his suspicions were further ignited when he read the smudged, cursive writing on the back: Michelle, Stewart, and Marie-Clair—Virginia Beach trip.

Shit! It’s her.  I need a drink, he thought before Stu came back out on the balcony. He was thankful to see him carrying
two beers in his hands, offering Alex one before sitting down in his chair. Alex immediately chugged half his drink.

Stu laughed, “Well, I’m glad I brought two, considering you didn’t want one in the first place.”

“I needed that more than I thought,” Alex said as he handed the picture back to Stu. “That’s a great picture. You had a beautiful wife. What did Roz think of the picture? She wasn’t jealous, was she? Considering the fact that you carry it around with you?”

“Umm… yeah that’s ex-wife, not wife. Let’s not get that confused. I actually haven’t shown this to Roz, but she’s seen all the pictures I have of Marie. This is the only picture I didn’t destroy of Michelle once the divorce was final. It’s the most recent picture I have of Marie; all the others were from when she was a toddler. I don’t usually look at it much, just around holidays and birthdays. I like to make it a point to never forget what I missed out on. I like to call it self-punishment.”

Alex couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He was a good man, who made one bad mistake, and now he had to think about what he did, every day, for the rest of his life. He would bet anything that if it weren’t for Roz, Stu would lead a completely different, and probably depressed life. “Why haven’t you shown Roz? What, you think she’ll be mad about it?”

“You know she can’t have kids and that was one of the big reasons it took her so long to agree to go out with me. I didn’t want to rub my happy family picture in her face. A lot of guys ran when they found out she couldn’t get pregnant; they wanted someone they could start a family with.  Lucky for me, I didn’t want a family. I already had one that I wasn’t looking to replace; and it took me a long time to get her to understand that. Now, I feel bad for not showing her. It feels like I purposely lied to her, and I guess that’s true, but that was never my intention. So, for now, I just opt not to let her see this one.”

“Well, I can understand that,” Alex said.

A few moments passed without either one of them saying a word. Alex’s brain was in overdrive as he tried to process everything he’d found out about Stu and his past. Stu sighed heavily and tipped his head back, finishing off his beer.

“Well,” he said, “I think I’ll go call Roz and turn in for the night. I want to get on the road early tomorrow. I’m ready to go home and see my girl, and I know you are.” Stu stood up and gave Alex a wink. “Thanks for listening,” he said, patting him on the shoulder, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Of course, anytime.
I’m going to finish this,” he said, holding up his beer bottle, “and do the same. Goodnight.” Alex watched Stu walk through the door and pull it shut behind him. A second later, the bedroom door banged shut and Alex released a heavy breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Finally, he was alone. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. What the hell am I going to do? He breathed, as he leaned back against his chair, resting his head on the back and closing his eyes. Alex definitely wasn’t going to say anything over the phone when he called her tonight. Hopefully, the lunch tomorrow would prevent him from having to bring it up and they’d find out on their own. But still, there was that tiny shred of doubt that he could be wrong, and if he was, he didn’t want to be the one to get everyone’s hopes up.

Just when he managed to calm himself, his phone vibrated in his pocket, causing him to jump and spill his beer across his lap. He leapt to his feet, swearing, as he tried to brush
the drink off his pants. Flipping his phone open, he didn’t notice the caller ID before he spoke in an agitated tone.

“Hello?”

“Hey… Sorry, did I call at a bad time?”

Alex froze, as if she already knew what he was thinking. He felt like he had been caught, but knew that was impossible. His voice softened when he spoke, “Hey, baby. Sorry. No, I’m fine. I just spilled my drink when the phone rang. Is everything okay? I wasn’t expecting you to call until later.”

Clair laughed, “I thought I was supposed to be the clumsy one? I got off early. We were slow and Theresa said she didn’t mind if I took off. Plus, I was about to fall on my face. I’ve been so tired lately; I just can’t shake this cold. I’ve been feeling horrible lately.”

“You think you need to go to the doctor, get checked out?”

“Not if I can help it, I hate going to the doctor. Whoever said getting shots at age five wouldn’t traumatize you for life was mistaken. Plus, I can’t afford it, so the over-the-counter drugs will just have to do.”

Alex huffed, “How about, you don’t worry about the cost. If you’re not better in a few days, I’m taking you myself.”

“We’ll see. I’m sure it’s pointless to argue with you anyway. After tonight, are you finished with Pittsburgh? Or do you have to go back?”

He paused; he wasn’t ready to have this conversation with her, especially over the phone. “Yes, not sure when though.” He wasn’t technically lying, but he wasn’t being completely truthful either.

“Oh. Well, I hope your stay isn’t as long the next time. I might have to hide in your luggage if it is.”

“I can certainly arrange that,” he laughed. Hearing her say that made him feel a little better. Maybe she would come with him after all. They would have to talk about it to know for sure. She yawned and Alex could tell she was tired.

“Well, I know you’re exhausted and I’m about to fall out,” she said, “so I’ll let you go. I don’t have to work this weekend, so I’m looking forward to spending every second of my time with you... unless you have other things to do?”

“I’d like that… Would you stay the weekend with me?”

“I’d love too,” she said without hesitation.

“Great, but hey… I’ve been wondering… when is your birthday? I can’t be a very good boyfriend if I don’t know this.”

Clair laughed, “Well, you picked a great day to ask… today’s my birthday.”

“Oh, shit,” he said to himself, but Clair heard him.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal. I’ve gone thirteen years without anyone really remembering, I’m surprised I managed to remember it myself. When my father left, I had to remind my mother every year what day it was. After a while, I just gave up. Really, Alex, don’t feel bad about it.”

But it was a big deal, more than she knew. Because that meant Alex was right. She was Stu’s daughter. All he needed now was to have Stu lay his eyes on her and that would be his final confirmation. “How about we celebrate when I get back?
Dinner? Somewhere nice.”

“You don’t have to do that, but yes, that would be great. Spending time with you is all I really want; well, that and a nice, long, hot shower. That would work too.”

Alex grinned to himself, “How about we just skip dinner and go straight for the shower?”

“I have no objections to that.
None at all.” Clair yawned, “Too bad you couldn’t come home today. Snuggling would have been really nice tonight.”